Can't Repeat the Past (Teacher or a Leader sequel)

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter One


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: The sequel to my fic "A Teacher or a Leader". This fic is dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie. Please read and review!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The morning after Teddy returned, Jean woke up first. She looked down at her sleeping husband, overwhelmed with love for him. She gently pushed a lock of hair off his forehead, tucking it behind his ear. She placed a light kiss on his forehead, and he stirred slightly, opening his eyes.

“Good morning, Teddy,” she said.

“Good morning, Jean,” he said, and she leaned down to kiss him. He pulled back from her a few moments later, and she looked down at him, confused.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. He avoided her gaze.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he lied.

She didn’t believe him, but did not push him for an answer. She knew that he would tell her in his own time.

“I’ll get dressed and wake Duncan,” she said.

“All right,” he replied, getting out of bed. Jean turned to the wardrobe and dressed quickly, turning back to her husband.

“I’ll get Duncan now; when you’re dressed, will you come down for breakfast?” she asked him tentatively. He nodded. “I’m glad you’re home, Teddy,” she said.

“As am I,” he said. Jean gave him a brief smile before exiting their bedroom. She walked down the hallway to their son’s room. He was awake, sitting up in bed.

“Good morning, Mummy,” he said.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” she said. “Did you have a good night’s sleep?”

“Yes, I did,” he replied.

“Let’s get dressed, hmm? It’s almost time for breakfast,” she told him, turning to his dresser and taking out a short-sleeved oxford shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. Jean helped Duncan to dress, and then they walked hand-in-hand downstairs.

“Good morning, Duncan,” Teddy said when they entered the dining room. Duncan buried his face in his mother’s skirts. Jean knelt down to look in her son’s eyes.

“Duncan, what’s wrong?” she asked. “It’s your father.”

“I know,” he whispered.

“Then what’s wrong?” she whispered back.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“It’ll be fine, darling,” she said, straightening up. “Ready for breakfast?”

He nodded, and Jean picked him up, settling him in his highchair.

“What do you want for breakfast, sweetheart?”

“Eggs and bacon, please, Mummy,” he replied. Jean smiled at him and prepared his plate. She set it in front of him and prepared her own breakfast.

“Duncan began learning to read a few months ago, Teddy,” Jean said.

“Really?” Teddy said. “I am so proud of you, Duncan,” he told his son, who blushed and looked down.

“Duncan, why don’t you tell your father about our trip to the beach?”

“We went swimming in the ocean,” Duncan replied. “And we went on a boat ride too.”

“That’s wonderful,” Teddy said. “When did you go?” he asked, turning to Jean.

Two months ago,” she replied.

Jean continued to prompt Duncan into speaking with his father throughout breakfast. Poor Duncan was so nervous around his father, not used to any man but Edward being in his life. Teddy tried to engage him in conversation, but Duncan was too uncomfortable to really say anything.

Breakfast was finally over, and Jean rang the bell. Cornelia entered and began to clear away the dishes, while Teddy, Jean, and Duncan retired to the living room.

“What would you like to do today, Teddy?” Jean asked, their son on her lap.

“Duncan, why don’t you decide?” Teddy suggested.

“I want to go to the park,” Duncan decided.

“All right,” Jean said. “Teddy, will you get the stroller from the hall closet?” she asked him, and he nodded. “I’ll be right back, darling,” she said, kissing her son’s forehead lightly. Going upstairs, she packed up a bag with a few of Duncan’s books, a blanket, and a few pillows. She went downstairs and rejoined her husband and son.

“Ready?” she asked, and her husband nodded. Jean set the bag down and picked Duncan up, settling him in his stroller. “Will you carry the bag, please?” she asked her husband, and he nodded, picking it up. She opened the door and pushed the stroller outside. Teddy followed her, and closed the door behind him.

They walked the two blocks to the park, and when they arrived, Jean and Teddy spread out the blanket near the pond. Once the blanket was laid out, Jean took Duncan out of his stroller.

“Do you want to show your daddy how well you can read, Duncan?” Jean asked, and Duncan looked up at her nervously. “Go on, dear,” she said. “I’ll help you.”

“Okay,” Duncan agreed.

“Why don’t you pick out a book?” Jean suggested. She stacked up the pillows and patted the space on the blanket next to her; Teddy joined her, wrapping his arm around his shoulder as he leaned back against the pillows. Duncan walked back to them, holding a copy of “The Story of Babar”.

“It’s my favourite book,” Duncan told his father, handing him the book so that he could settle himself on Jean’s lap. He took the book back when he was seated with his mother. Jean held one side of the book and Teddy held the other side.

Duncan began to read. “In the great forest, an ele-elephant is born. His n-name is Babar. His mother loves him very much. She rocks him to sleep with her trunk wh-whylie,” Duncan stopped, looking up at his mother.

“While,” she said.

“While singing softly to him,” he finished the first page.

“Very good, Duncan!” Teddy said, very proud of his son.

“Thank you, Daddy,” Duncan replied, blushing.

Duncan read the next two pages, then stopped.

“Mummy, can you finish the book please?” he asked.

“Of course, Duncan. You are doing so well,” she said. She took up the story, and they finished the book. After finishing the book, Jean and Teddy packed up their things. They walked back to their house.

“I’ve got to run to the post office, Jean,” Teddy said when they arrived back at the house.

“All right,” she said, a bit confused to why he would need to go to the post office so soon after his return to Australia. What could he possibly have to mail?

“I’ll see you in a bit, then, dear,” he said, kissing her cheek lightly. He walked down the street to the post office.

Jean and Duncan settled in the parlour, Duncan snuggled in her lap. She began to read “The Tale of Peter Rabbit.” They finished “Peter Rabbit” and then started on “The Tale of Benjamin Bunny”. Lunch was served just after they had finished the second book, and still Teddy had not returned. After lunch, she brought Duncan upstairs for his nap, and Teddy was still out. Jean sat in the window seat of the front room and waited for her husband to come back.

Three hours later, her son had woken up, and Teddy had not reappeared. Jean and Duncan were sitting at the coffee table in the parlour when Teddy finally returned, five hours after he had left.

“Duncan, sweetheart, stay here and practice your writing while your father and I talk for a moment, all right?” she asked, and he nodded, utterly absorbed in practising his name. Jean stood up and led Teddy upstairs to their room.

“Where were you, Teddy?” she asked him.

“I got lost,” he lied. In reality, he had gone to meet up with one of the women who had been on the ship with him, a woman named Isabelle Coleman. She was beautiful, with long dark hair and large grey eyes. She was tall and slender, though she had more than ample curves. She had seen his exhibition in London when she was there on holiday, and, when she discovered that he was on board the same ship coming back to Australia, she seduced him. When they returned to Australia and to their real life, they had made arrangements to meet once a week at her house.

He could see that she did not believe him, but she dropped the subject.

“It’s time for tea,” she said, and walked downstairs.

Later that night, after Jean and Teddy had tucked their son in to bed, they went to bed themselves. While Jean went to the bathroom to brush her hair, Teddy crawled between the covers. Though they had made love last night, he had not had the time to think over her confession. Now, though, he had time to think it over, and he could not bear to be near his wife, knowing that his cousin had slept with her. He could not bear the thought of his cousin and his wife sleeping together.

Jean entered the bedroom and sat down on the bed next to Teddy.

“I’ve missed you, Teddy,” she said, stroking his chest.

“I’ve missed you too, Jean,” he said, kissing her forehead lightly. “Good night.”

“Good night?” she asked him confusedly. “Don’t you want to...?”

“I’m exhausted, Jean,” he told her.

“Oh,” she replied, hurt. “Good night, then.”

He rolled over on his side and fell asleep immediately. For Jean, however, sleep was elusive. Finally, she got out of bed and walked down the hall to check on her son. He was sleeping peacefully, and, not wanting to disturb him, she went downstairs to the parlour. Sitting on the couch, she began to cry. She knew in her heart that Teddy had not accepted the fact that she had begun an affair with Edward. She suspected, too, that he had not been at the post office, but with a woman. If this was how it was going to be, then she did not know if she wanted Teddy back. She finally cried herself to sleep.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Things were even more strained between Teddy and Jean when Edward returned from Canberra. Teddy was barely civil to his cousin. Things were also on edge between Teddy and Duncan, as Duncan wanted to spend all of his free time with Edward, not Teddy. Teddy was hurt, but knew that it was his fault for abandoning his family for nearly three years. Despite his guilt, he made no real effort to integrate himself into his son’s life, and he continued to sleep with various women.

Four months after Teddy returned, it was Duncan’s third birthday. Jean had planned an outing to the zoo for them, and then a picnic lunch at the park. Teddy only stayed for their trip to the zoo, excusing himself before they went to the park for lunch. Jean was bitterly disappointed in her husband, but tried not to show it. Duncan did not mind his father’s absence so much, as Edward was there. After lunch, Jean and Edward brought Duncan back to the house so that he could open his presents.

Duncan received several plush animals from Edward; a train set from Teddy (Jean had bought it and wrapped it; Teddy had forgotten to buy a present); and Jean had bought him several books. The cook had baked a special cake for his birthday, and Edward, Jean, and the maids sang to him before he blew out the candles.

“Happy birthday, darling,” Jean said. “I love you.”

“Happy birthday, Duncan,” Edward added.

After the cake, Jean brought Duncan up to bed and read him one of his new books before he settled down for a nap. Jean went downstairs and joined Edward in the parlour.

“Jean, I saw Teddy kissing another woman yesterday,” he said.

“I suspected that he was cheating on me,” she said. “He has been sleeping with hordes of women – all over Europe, and now in Australia too. Oh, God, Edward, if it’s going to be like this, then I don’t want him here!” she began to cry, leaning against his chest.

“I’ll always be here for you, Jean,” he said soothingly, stroking her hair as she cried. She composed herself and pulled back.

“I don’t think that it would help matters with Teddy if he walked in and found me in your arms,” she chuckled weakly.

“I’d best go, then,” he said. “But remember, Jean – I’ll always be here for you. Let me know if you need anything at all.”

She shot him a faint, yet grateful, smile. “Thank you, Edward.”

He kissed her lightly on the forehead and, turning around when he reached the front door, blew her a kiss. She blew one back, and then he left.

Turning back to the table, she saw a letter propped up on the table, addressed to her. She opened it with trembling fingers.

My dearest, most darling Jean,

My time in Canberra has allowed me the opportunity to think about our relationship. It is very clear to me that you are the one true love of my life, and I know in my heart that I will never love anyone else. I know that you are still in love with Teddy, but know that I will wait for you. And even if you decide never to come back to me, I will always love you and will always be there for you. I love you so much, Jean – and I love Duncan, too. I don’t think that I could love him more if he was my own son. I would do anything to help the two of you. Never hesitate to let me know if there is anything that I can do.

I love you, Jean.

Edward

She set the letter down and burst into tears once more. Her heart ached for her Edward, her rock, her strength. She loved him, but she loved Teddy more.

[kissofdeath]

awww, what a great start to the story.

i love your banner for it!

[Katheryn Mae]

Interesting. I haven't read any Jean Brodie before...I think you may have another fan. This is so beautifully written.

[dianahawthorne]

kissofdeath: Glad that you're liking the story so far, dear! And I'm glad that you like the banner as well

tabbyhearts: I'm so glad that I've converted you LOL. But for this story to make more sense, you should read my fic "A Teacher or a Leader". Thank you for your review!!

[Katheryn Mae]

Dec 13, 2008 23:26:59 GMT -5 dianahawthorne said:

tabbyhearts: I'm so glad that I've converted you LOL. But for this story to make more sense, you should read my fic "A Teacher or a Leader". Thank you for your review!!

Probably figured that. I think I have time soon. *hopes*

[dianahawthorne]

Dec 14, 2008 0:02:35 GMT -5 Katheryn Mae said:

Dec 13, 2008 23:26:59 GMT -5 dianahawthorne said:

tabbyhearts: I'm so glad that I've converted you LOL. But for this story to make more sense, you should read my fic "A Teacher or a Leader". Thank you for your review!!

Probably figured that. I think I have time soon. *hopes*

I hope that you have time soon too!

I've written quite a few Jean Brodie fics, which you can find at my Jean Brodie fansite here: jeanbrodie.proboards106.com/index.cgi?; or at my fanfiction.net profile here: www.fanfiction.net/~stsgirlie.

My Jean Brodie stories include the following (the ones with an asterisk are one-shots):

The Five Loves of Jean Brodie
A Breezy Day*
A Teacher or a Leader
Assassin!*
Come to the Studio Again
First Night* (Sequel to "A Breezy Day")
Love in Egypt
The Cramond Chronicles

Have you seen the movie or read the book, by the way?

[KristaMarie]

Thank you for the dedication dear! I love this and I can't wait to read more of it!

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Two


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you to all my readers and reviewers, especially kissofdeath, KristaMarie, and tabbyhearts.

As always, this story is dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie.

The lullaby in this chapter is called “Scottish Lullaby”; the lyrics were written by Sir Walter Scott.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While Jean and Edward were celebrating Duncan’s birthday, Teddy was with his lover, Isabelle Coleman. He spent most of the day there with her, including dinner. After leaving Isabelle, he went to a bar and had a few drinks, and finally stumbled home at one o’clock in the morning. Jean was waiting for him downstairs.

“Where have you been?” she demanded.

“I was out,” he defended himself.

“Why were you not even here for your son’s birthday?” she questioned him.

“I was!” he replied.

“For not even two hours!” she snapped. “Do you really care so little about your family?”

“Of course I care about our family, Jean – do you?” he asked her.

“I care a sight more than you do, Teddy! I was there for Duncan, I provided him with a home, with love, with a good life!”

“You slept with Edward!” he yelled.

“At least Edward was there for us! At least Edward cared enough to treat our son like his own! At least he loved me!” she cried.

“But how could you?” he shouted.

“How could you? You’re the one who slept with nearly every woman in Europe!”

They did not know that their shouting had woken Duncan, who was sitting on the stairs, watching them with wide eyes.

“Now I know how Deirdre felt,” Jean snapped. “I thought that things would be different with us, Teddy. I thought that you loved me! I thought that you loved your son!”

“I do, Jean – I do!” he protested.

“Then act like it!” she told him, spinning on her heel. She stopped dead when she saw Duncan sitting on the steps, tears in his eyes. “Duncan, darling, what are you doing up?” she said, approaching him. He stretched out his arms to his mother, who bent down to pick him up.

“Mummy, why are you and Daddy fighting?” he asked, crying.

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s nothing,” she soothed him, resting her cheek against his head. She rocked him back and forth slowly. “Let’s bring you up to bed,” she said, walking up the stairs to Duncan’s room.

She laid him down in bed.

“Mummy, why was Daddy yelling at you?” he asked her.

She smiled sadly down at her son. “Sometimes, darling, even when two people love each other very much, they can disagree.”

“Daddy scares me, Mummy,” he said, and Jean’s heart broke.

“Don’t be scared of your father, sweetheart,” she said, stroking his hair. “You just don’t know him very well. He’s a good person, and he loves you so very much.”

“Really, Mummy?” he asked.

“Yes, really,” she said. “Now, darling, try to go to sleep. It’s late.”

“All right,” he said. She smiled down at him and kissed his forehead lightly.

“I love you, Duncan,” she said. “Happy birthday.”

“Will you sing me a lullaby, Mummy?” he asked.

“Of course,” she replied, and crooned softly to him as she stroked his hair.

“Blow, the wind blow;

Swift and low;

Blow the wind o’er the ocean.

Breakers rolling to the coastline;

Bringing ships to the harbour;

Gulls against the morning sunlight;

Flying off to freedom!”

As she finished the song, she looked down at her son, who had dropped off to sleep. She kissed his forehead lightly and left the room. She walked back downstairs to join her husband.

“I’m going up to bed, Teddy. You can join me if you’d like. I don’t wish to talk about this any more tonight,” she said, and walked up to their bedroom.

A few minutes later, Teddy, too, walked upstairs, but instead of joining his wife in their bedroom, he opened the door to one of the guest rooms and fell asleep.

Jean lay awake in bed, waiting for her husband to come to bed, but she knew that he would not be joining her. She slipped out of bed and went to the study to write a letter to Edward. On her way downstairs, she noticed the door to the guest room was cracked open, and she peered in. Her husband was sleeping on the bed. She quietly stepped out of the room and continued down to the study. Sitting down at the desk, she began a letter to Edward.

Dearest Edward,

I wish that Teddy had never come back from Europe. He finally returned at one o’clock in the morning, and he smelled like perfume and alcohol. He would not tell me where he was. We had a big row tonight, and Duncan saw the end of it. Oh, my poor son; my poor, poor son. He told me that he was scared of Teddy. Edward, it just about broke my heart – my son is scared of his father. My darling, darling boy is scared of his own father! But the worst part about it is that I am scared of him, too – I’m scared of my husband. I’ve never been scared of him before, Edward, but when he was shouting at me, I was terrified. I miss you, Edward; even though you are so close to me, you are so far away, too.

I love you, Edward.

Jean.

She stuck the letter in an envelope and sealed it. She wrote Edward’s address on the letter and stamped it, before placing it in the pile of outgoing mail. She yawned, stretching, as she walked back up the stairs. Climbing into bed, she fell asleep almost instantly.


Only a few short hours later, she was woken up by her son crawling into bed to join her.

“Good morning, darling,” she said, her voice husky with sleep. “Did you sleep well?”

He yawned. “No, Mummy,” he said drowsily. “I had a bad nightmare. Can I sleep here?” he asked.

She kissed his forehead lightly. “Of course, darling,” she said, pulling the covers over them both.

They drifted off to sleep again.


They woke up at nine o’clock, and, as a treat, Jean let Duncan have breakfast in his pyjamas. While he went down for breakfast, Jean went to the guest room to see if Teddy was awake. He was not in the guest room. She went downstairs and looked in the closet, and his coat wasn’t there either. Sighing, she joined her son for breakfast.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three months passed, and it was Jean and Teddy’s fourth wedding anniversary. Teddy had forgotten all about it, and he spent the day with his new paramour, Kathleen O’Connor. Edward did not forget, however, and he and Duncan arranged a surprise for Jean. They planned a special dinner for her, and Duncan picked some flowers from their garden for a bouquet for his mother. He also made her a card and drew a picture of their family for her – Jean, Edward, Teddy, and himself. Edward had had it framed for her. The maids helped to decorate the parlour and the dining room while Edward and Duncan went to the park with Jean to keep her out of the house before their small party.

When they returned to the house, it was decorated with streamers, balloons, and a large banner which read “Happy Anniversary”. Jean was overwhelmed with gratitude, so much so that she actually cried. It seemed to her that she had cried more often in the past few months than she had in all her life.

“Thank you, Duncan; thank you, Edward,” she said, smiling up at them.

“Happy anniversary, Mummy,” her son said.

“Thank you, darling,” she said, kissing her son lightly on the forehead. “This dinner looks delicious – why don’t we start eating?” she suggested.

They sat down and ate their dinner; then the maids brought in a cake. “Happy Anniversary!” it read. Jean smiled at the two of them and cut the cake, handing a slice to both Edward and Duncan, before cutting a slice for herself.

“Why don’t we eat the cake on the porch?” Edward suggested, and Jean nodded. The three of them walked out onto the front porch. They ate their cake there, and, when they had finished, Duncan and Edward brought the plates in. Jean looked out onto the street, and spied her husband walking down the road, a tall, voluptuous blonde on his arm. They stopped under the streetlight on the corner, and she watched as her husband kissed the other woman.

She rushed back into the house, not wanting Teddy to see her. She ran into Edward and Duncan, who were about to join her outside.

“What’s wrong, Jean?” Edward asked her. Her face was deathly pale, her lower lip was trembling, and her large blue eyes were filled with tears.

“Let’s go into the parlour,” she said. Edward raised his eyebrows, but he and Duncan followed her without questioning her. Jean rang the bell and Cornelia came in. “Can you bring us some tea please, Cornelia?” She nodded and returned a few minutes later, carrying a tea tray. Jean poured the tea with shaking hands.

A few minutes later, Teddy walked in, quite inebriated.

“Hello, everyone!” Teddy sang out. He noticed the balloons and streamers. “What’s the occasion?”

“Our anniversary,” Jean said.

“Oh,” Teddy said. “Any chance of my getting a cup of tea?”

Jean poured Teddy a cup of tea.

“I’ll be going,” Edward said. “Good night, Jean, Duncan, Teddy,” he said.

Duncan jumped up and gave Edward a hug; he swung the boy up into his arms and kissed his forehead.

“Good night, Edward,” Jean said. He smiled at her and set Duncan down.

“Good night, Uncle Eddy,” Duncan said. Edward ruffled his hair fondly and left.

Jean stood up. “Time for your bath, Duncan,” Jean said.

“All right,” he said.

“Go on ahead, dear – I’ll be right there,” she told her son. He nodded and walked up the stairs.

“I’ll be back downstairs in an hour, Teddy – we need to talk,” she said.

“All right,” Teddy replied.

Jean walked up the stairs after her son and went into the bathroom to draw his bath.

An hour later, as promised, Jean went back downstairs. Her husband was asleep on the sofa, looking much the same as he did nearly ten years ago when they first spent the night together. Her heart was filled to overflowing with love for her husband, despite all the pain he had caused her in the past few years. She joined him on the couch, stroking his hair out of his eyes. He stirred, catching her hand in his, and brought it to his lips. Opening his eyes, he smiled up at her, and pulled her down for a kiss. She knew that he was still drunk – she could taste the alcohol on his breath – but it had been so long since he had touched her, so long since he had kissed her, so long since they had made love, that she stopped thinking and gave herself up to the moment.

“I’m sorry that I forgot about our anniversary, Jean,” he said, caressing her cheek. He continued to kiss her, and she responded, her lips moving against his. Soon they had both shed their clothes, and Teddy was on top of her, guiding his erection into her. Once again, he captured her lips with his to muffle their moans. She began to come, clutching his back, moaning into his mouth. He collapsed on top of her as he came as well, panting from exertion.

“I love you, Teddy,” she whispered, smiling up at him.

“I love you, Jean,” he replied.

“Shall we go up to bed?” she asked. He nodded and stood up. He clutched at his head as he stood. “Are you all right, Teddy?” she asked him.

“Just give me a minute,” he said, sitting down on the couch. She nodded and got dressed. Teddy stood up slowly and slipped on his trousers, gathering up the rest of his clothes, before taking Jean’s hand. “Let’s go to bed,” he said.

She nodded and followed him up the stairs. He stumbled a few times, but they finally entered their bedroom. Both Jean and Teddy changed into their pyjamas and then climbed into bed.

For the first time in months, Jean slept in her husband’s arms.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

During the next few weeks, Teddy began painting again. He found a studio five blocks away from the house, and set it up just like his studio in Edinburgh. Setting up his studio allowed him a legitimate excuse to spend hours away from home – it also allowed him a place to entertain his female companions.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost a year after his return, Jean found him kissing yet another woman; one with dark brown curly hair. That night, when he returned to the house, he and Jean had another row.

“Teddy, we can’t go on like this,” she said. “I know that you are sleeping with other women, and I can’t live like this.”

“Go back to Edward, then,” he spat.

“Teddy, I love you,” she said. “And I don’t want you cheating on me anymore. Please, darling, try to see it from my point of view – by cheating on me, you are saying that I cannot satisfy your needs. I need you, Teddy – I need you so much. I need your love, your affection... I need you. If you cheat on me again, Teddy, I will go back to Edward.”

“Jean...” he said, reaching out to caress her cheek. She pulled back. “Jean, I am sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, Teddy; just don’t do it again,” she told him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the next three months, Teddy stayed faithful to Jean, spending much more time at home with her and their son, though he still spent most days at the studio. He did, however, spend nearly every night at home with his wife. During those three months, Teddy tried not to think about the fact that his cousin and his wife had had an affair, though he was not very successful. The only time he could forget was when he drank, and drink he did. Only when he was inebriated did he feel comfortable making love to his wife.

But he could not go on deluding himself forever, and finally he began to cheat on her again. He couldn’t help himself – that was the only way he knew to put his wife and his cousin’s betrayal out of his mind.

Jean knew that their happiness from the past three months was too good to last, so she was not terribly surprised when Teddy began spending nights at the studio again. At least he had stopped drinking so much.

Two months after Teddy had begun another affair, two months after Duncan’s fourth birthday, Jean discovered that she was pregnant again. She did not know what to do. Edward was away in Canberra the week she discovered that she was once again with child. Utterly, completely desperate, she wrote to him.

Dearest Edward,

I love Teddy, but I don’t like him very much when he drinks. It is even worse than when he was away in Europe, because then I could be with you. Edward, why does he have to be like this? I need him to be strong for me, for Duncan... And, Edward, I am pregnant again. I need him to be here for our new baby, but I want him to be here because he wants to be. The problem is that I don’t think he does want to be here with me and Duncan. Edward, I just don’t know what to do. And I don’t know what I would do without you.

I love you,

Jean

As soon as Edward returned, he went to find Jean. She threw herself into his arms, crying.

“Edward, I don’t know what to do,” she sobbed. “He doesn’t love me anymore, doesn’t want me anymore. I need him so much, Edward!”

“Oh, my darling, I’m so sorry,” he said, stroking her hair as she cried. She finally stopped crying and sat up.

“Thank you, Edward,” she said.

“You’re welcome, Jean,” he replied, kissing her forehead lightly.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too,” he replied.

[kissofdeath]

oh, that's so sad!

Its such a great real-life Maggie-Robert-Bev parallel though!

[Katheryn Mae]

*sigh* Sadly, I forgot about our church meeting but I'm getting the book tomorrow. I think I am beginning to grow on these fics ... I've jumped aboard some new ships and re-boarded some old ones too.

[KristaMarie]

love it, love it, love it!! You never cease to make my day!

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Three


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Thank you to my readers and reviewers: mccoylover, KristaMarie, kissofdeath, and tabbyhearts.

As always, this story is dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edward left a few minutes later, just after Duncan had woken up from his nap.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, my darling,” he said.

“All right,” she said. She stretched up to kiss his lips lightly. “I love you.”

“And I love you, Jean,” he replied. “Don’t worry, love; everything will work out for the best.”

“I hope so,” she said. “I do hope so.”

She smiled sadly at him and walked up the stairs to her son’s room.

“Did you have a nice nap, sweetheart?” she asked.

“Yes, I did, Mummy,” he replied. “Is Uncle Eddy back yet?” he asked.

“Yes, he is,” she replied. “He’ll come over tomorrow.”

“Yay!” Duncan exclaimed.

“Would you like to go to the park before dinner?” Jean asked.

“Oh, yes!” he exclaimed.

“Let’s get ready, then,” she said. A half an hour later, after getting ready, Jean and her son left the house, they walked the few blocks to the park. As they entered the park, Jean saw her husband and the curly-haired brunette woman she had seen with him several months ago. Shocked, Jean stood there, motionless, while Duncan pulled at her hand.

“Is that Daddy?” he asked her. She pulled herself out of her trance.

“Let’s go, Duncan,” she said quietly. He continued to stand there, staring at his father and his father’s lover. “Now, Duncan!” she commanded him. He tried to keep up with her long strides, but it was no use. She picked him up and all but ran the few blocks to their house.

“Who was that lady with Daddy?” Duncan asked.

“I don’t know,” Jean said, starting to cry.

“Mummy, please don’t cry!” he begged her.

“I can’t help it, darling,” she said between her tears.

“What can I do?” her son asked her, concerned. He had very rarely seen his mother cry.

“I’m fine; I’m fine,” she said, stifling her tears. She gave him a watery smile as if to prove she was fine. “Now, why don’t we have an early dinner?” she suggested. “We can help the cook tonight.”

“All right,” he said.

“You go on in, darling, and tell the cook that we will be helping with dinner; I’ll be there in a moment,” she said.

“Okay. I love you, Mummy,” he said, kissing her on the cheek. She gave him a small smile, kissing him on the cheek as well. He walked into the kitchen, and Jean sat on the couch, composing herself. She entered the kitchen a few minutes later.

“So, what are we having for dinner tonight, dear?” she asked her son.

“Spaghetti and meatballs, Mummy,” he replied.

“Wonderful,” she said. “What can I do?”

“Can you do the sauce, please, Mummy?” he asked.

“Of course,” she said. A half an hour later, they had finished making dinner, and Jean and Duncan ate in the kitchen for once, not wanting the maids to have to go to the extra trouble.

Jean gave the cook and the maids the rest of the night off, and she and Duncan washed the dishes themselves.

“Why don’t we go out and get a scoop of ice cream?” Jean said.

“Really?” Duncan said, jumping up and down with excitement.

“Really. Let’s go,” she said. Taking her purse from the hall table, they walked out their front door and headed to the small ice cream cafe two streets over.

Duncan got a scoop of chocolate ice cream, while Jean got a scoop of vanilla. They sat down at one of the small round tables outside to enjoy their ice cream. Once they were finished, Jean and Duncan walked home.

“Time for your bath, Duncan,” she said once they had returned.

“All right,” he agreed.

“I’ll start the bath if you get your pyjamas,” she said, and he nodded.

After his bath, Jean tucked her son in to bed.

“Duncan, darling, always remember that, whatever happens, your father and I love you,” she said.

“I love you too, Mummy,” he said.

“Good night, my darling,” she said, kissing his forehead lightly.

“Good night, Mummy,” he said.

“Sleep well,” she said, giving him one last kiss on his forehead before she stood to turn off the lights.

“Mummy?” he asked her.

“Yes, darling?”

“What’s going to happen with you and Daddy?” he asked her.

“I don’t know, Duncan – I really don’t. Good night,” she said, turning off the lights.

She went back downstairs and sat on the couch, utterly and completely alone. She began to cry, burying her face in the pillows of the couch to stifle the sound of her sobs. Five years ago, she never would have believed that she would be where she was today – but here she was – no longer a teacher, but the mother of one child with another on the way; the wife of the man she loved more than anything, but who did not love her nearly as much; and desperately, desperately alone.

She heard the door shut, and she stood up. Her husband came in to the parlour.

“Oh, Jean! I thought that you’d be asleep,” he said.

“We need to talk, Teddy,” she said.

“Can’t it wait until the morning?” he asked her. “It’s late.”

“No, Teddy, we need to talk now,” she said firmly. “I know that you’ve been cheating on me again, and I’m not going to let you do this to our family anymore, Teddy! You’re not a good role model for Duncan, you’re abandoning us, and you’re not behaving like a husband and father! Teddy, I can’t take this anymore, especially with the baby coming...” she stopped, clapping her hands over her mouth. She hadn’t meant to tell him about the baby, hadn’t wanted the baby to be a factor in this argument.

“A baby?” he asked, his eyes full of happiness. “Oh, Jean, a baby?”

“Yes,” she replied. In for a penny, in for a pound, after all. “I’m due in November.”

“Oh, Jean, darling!” he shouted, picking her up and spinning her around. “Oh, my darling, darling wife!”

“Teddy,” she said when he put her down. She wanted to make her point clear. “I want you to stay faithful to me – for my sake, for our family’s sake.”

“Of course, darling,” he said, kissing her. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Teddy,” she said.

“Let’s go to bed, hmm?” he suggested, and she nodded. They walked up the stairs to their bedroom, his arm wrapped around her waist.

When they entered their bedroom, he drew her into a passionate kiss.

“I love you, Jean,” he said.

She smiled at him, tears in her eyes. “I love you, too, Teddy,” she replied.

He caressed her cheek lightly. “Let’s go to bed, shall we?” he said.

She nodded. “Just let me get changed,” she said, and he nodded. She opened the top drawer of her dresser and pulled out a nightgown, then entered the bathroom to change. A few moments later, she emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a simple white silk nightgown. Teddy had stripped down to his boxers and was waiting for her in bed.

She climbed into bed beside him, smiling nervously.

“I love you, Jean,” he said, kissing her lips lightly.

“I love you, Teddy,” she replied.

He wrapped his arms around her and she melted into his embrace. Resting her head against his chest, she let the sound of his heartbeat lull her to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Teddy was woken up by the sound of his wife vomiting in the bathroom. He rushed in and held back her hair. A few minutes later, she stopped vomiting and collapsed on the floor of the bathroom. Her husband picked her up and brought her back to bed.

“Thank you, Teddy,” she said, smiling weakly. She leaned back against the pillows, looking pale and faint.

He was overcome with a surge of guilt as he looked at his wife, who, resting against the pillows, seemed as delicate and fragile as a porcelain doll. He noticed, for the first time, that she had lost some weight – her cheekbones were more pronounced, her face was gaunt, and her eyes seemed larger than ever. He knew that he had done that to her – his infidelity had hurt her much more than he had imagined, and it obviously hurt her more than her infidelity had hurt him. He made a vow then and there that he would forget about her affair with Edward and try to start again.

“Jean, I’m sorry,” he whispered, reaching out to caress her cheek. “I am sorry.”

“It’s all right, Teddy,” she said.

“No, it isn’t,” he said. “Oh, God, Jean – I am sorry. Will you ever be able to forgive me?” he asked.

“I already have, Teddy,” she said, holding his hand against her cheek.

“I love you, Jean,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” she replied. He kissed her lightly. “Let’s go down to breakfast,” she said.

“All right, darling,” he said. She climbed out of bed and went to the wardrobe. She pulled out a blue dress and went to the bathroom to get changed. Teddy got dressed as well. Jean emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later.

“I’ll get Duncan,” Jean said.

“All right,” he said.

“I’ll see you down at breakfast,” she said, smiling at him a bit awkwardly.

“All right, darling,” he said, kissing her lightly. She left the room and walked down the hall to her son’s room.

Duncan was already dressed, and was sitting in the window seat, reading.

“Good morning, darling,” Jean said, smiling at him.

“Good morning, Mummy,” he replied, looking up from his book.

“Ready for breakfast?” she asked.

“Yes, Mummy,” he said, setting down his book.

They walked downstairs and joined Teddy for breakfast.

“Good morning, Duncan,” Teddy said. He stood up to pull out his wife’s chair, and she smiled up at him.

“Mummy, are you and Daddy still fighting?” Duncan asked.

“No, darling, we’re not,” Jean said. “And, Duncan, we have something to tell you,” she said, smiling at her son. Teddy took her hand, smiling at his wife.

“Yes, Mummy?” Duncan asked.

“You’re going to be a big brother in November,” Jean said.

“Really?” Duncan asked excitedly.

“Yes, Duncan,” Teddy said.

“Am I going to have a baby brother or a baby sister?” he asked.

Jean smiled indulgently. “We don’t know yet, darling,” she said. “We won’t know until the baby is born.”

“But that’s so far away!” Duncan exclaimed, pouting a bit.

“I’m sorry, Duncan,” she chuckled.

They finished their breakfast soon afterwards, despite Duncan continuing to pepper his parents with questions about the baby.

After breakfast, Jean, Teddy, and Duncan went for a walk in the park. Jean was the happiest she had been for years – happier than she had been since they had married. Her heart was full to bursting with the love she held for her husband, her son, and her unborn child. Life was wonderful.

Later that night, Teddy tucked his son in to bed. Jean was not feeling very well, so she was in bed.

“Daddy?” Duncan asked.

“Yes, Duncan?”

“Who was that lady you were with yesterday?” he asked.

“Wh-what?” Teddy stammered. “Where?”

“At the park,” Duncan said.

“Just a friend,” Teddy said. “Now, it’s time for you to go to sleep,” he said. “Good night.”

“Good night, Daddy,” Duncan said.

Teddy stood up and turned off the lights, then walked down the hallway to his bedroom. Jean was not in bed; he could hear her throwing up noisily in the bathroom. Once more, he rushed in and held her hair back, and when she had finished throwing up, he picked her up and brought her into the bedroom.

“Jean, I am so sorry,” he said.

“Why?” she asked him faintly, leaning back against the pillows, closing her eyes.

“Duncan told me that you two were at the park yesterday,” Teddy said.

Her eyes opened. “Yes, we were,” she replied.

“I’m sorry, Jean; I’m so sorry,” he said.

“Oh, Teddy, please don’t let’s talk about this anymore,” she told him. “It’s all right.”

“Jean...”

“Please, Teddy – I’m not feeling well,” she said.

“All right, darling,” he said.

Suddenly, she sat straight up and bolted to the bathroom, where she began to throw up again. Ten minutes later, Teddy carried her back to bed.

“I’ll be right back, darling,” he said, and went downstairs. He returned a few minutes later with a basin, which he set on the nightstand. “In case you need to get up in the middle of the night,” he explained.

“Thank you,” Jean said.

“Jean, have you seen a doctor?” he asked her.

“Yes, I have,” she said. “His name is Dr. Malden.”

“And is the baby all right?” he asked.

“Yes, he said that the baby was fine,” Jean asked. “Why?”

“When you were pregnant with Duncan, you were not nearly as sick as you are now,” he explained.

“I’m fine,” she said stubbornly.

“Jean, you’ve lost a lot of weight as well,” he said sadly.

“I’m fine,” she repeated.

“Please, Jean, indulge me – let’s make an appointment with the doctor,” he said.

“All right,” she acquiesced. “We’ll make an appointment in the morning.”

“Good,” he said.

She yawned and snuggled back against the pillows, closing her eyes.

“Good night, darling,” he said, kissing her forehead lightly.

She opened her eyes sleepily. “Good night, Teddy,” she replied, and closed her eyes again. “I love you.”

“And I love you, Jean,” he said. “I love you.”

[Katheryn Mae]

*sighs* Poor Jean ... *shakes head*. At least Duncan is there for her - even if he doesn't understand it all yet.

Five years ago, she never would have believed that she would be where she was today – but here she was – no longer a teacher, but the mother of one child with another on the way; the wife of the man she loved more than anything, but who did not love her nearly as much; and desperately, desperately alone.

And I'm going to shiver from now on when I read this line. Haunting and perfect in the same essence.

[dianahawthorne]

Dec 15, 2008 13:09:15 GMT -5 Katheryn Mae said:

*sighs* Poor Jean ... *shakes head*. At least Duncan is there for her - even if he doesn't understand it all yet.

Five years ago, she never would have believed that she would be where she was today – but here she was – no longer a teacher, but the mother of one child with another on the way; the wife of the man she loved more than anything, but who did not love her nearly as much; and desperately, desperately alone.

Aw, thanks dear! I must've re-wrote that line ten times to try and get it right. Glad I finally did!!

And I'm going to shiver from now on when I read this line. Haunting and perfect in the same essence.

[kissofdeath]

Dec 15, 2008 13:09:15 GMT -5 Katheryn Mae said:

*sighs* Poor Jean ... *shakes head*. At least Duncan is there for her - even if he doesn't understand it all yet.

Five years ago, she never would have believed that she would be where she was today – but here she was – no longer a teacher, but the mother of one child with another on the way; the wife of the man she loved more than anything, but who did not love her nearly as much; and desperately, desperately alone.

I know right! That line just broke my heart and made me want to cry!

KUDOS dude!

And I'm going to shiver from now on when I read this line. Haunting and perfect in the same essence.

[Katheryn Mae]

Dec 15, 2008 18:52:26 GMT -5 kissofdeath said:

Dec 15, 2008 13:09:15 GMT -5 Katheryn Mae said:

*sighs* Poor Jean ... *shakes head*. At least Duncan is there for her - even if he doesn't understand it all yet.



I know right! That line just broke my heart and made me want to cry!

KUDOS dude!

And I'm going to shiver from now on when I read this line. Haunting and perfect in the same essence.

I love how we're all commenting on my comment. xD

[kissofdeath]

lol, no, its just i really love that line. it was so beautifully depressing.

and im not an easy person to depress! you're talking to the girl who laughed during 'the titanic' 'and terms of endearment'!

I'm an ice queen dude

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Four


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As always, this story is dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie.

Thank you to my readers and reviewers: tabbyhearts, kissofdeath, and KristaMarie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week later, Jean and Teddy were sitting in Dr. Malden’s office.

“Mrs. Lloyd, the baby is fine; you, on the other hand, need to gain some weight. You are far too thin,” he said.

“All right,” Jean said.

The doctor turned to her husband. “You must make sure that your wife does not over-exert herself. If she is tired, make her rest. If she is hungry, make her eat. Take care of her,” he said.

“I will,” Teddy promised, squeezing his wife’s hand lightly. “Thank you, Doctor.”

“You’re welcome. Now, Mrs. Lloyd, please see the receptionist to make your next appointment a month from now,” he said.

“Thank you, Doctor,” Jean replied, and Teddy helped her down from the examining table. They made an appointment for next month. They walked out of the doctor’s office, and Teddy hailed a cab to drive them back to their house.

“Jean, darling, I want you to rest, so I’ll go pick up Duncan, all right?” he said.

“Teddy, I am not an invalid!” she snapped. “I am perfectly capable of walking two houses down to pick up our son!”

“Darling,” he began, but was cut off by Jean rushing out of the room. He followed her into the bathroom, where she, once again, was throwing up loudly. She collapsed on the floor of the bathroom. “Jean, oh, Jean,” he said, helping her up. He brought her to the bedroom. “Please, darling, don’t over-exert yourself. I’ll go pick Duncan up from Edward’s, all right?”

She nodded weakly.

“Will you be all right when I’m gone?” he asked.

“Yes, I’ll be fine,” she said.

“I’ll be back shortly, Jean,” he said.

“All right,” she replied, closing her eyes. “Will you bring Duncan in when you get back?”

“Of course, darling,” he said, kissing her lightly. He left the room and walked two houses down to his cousin’s house, ringing the doorbell.

One of the maids answered the door. “Hello, Mr. Lloyd,” she said, curtseying. “Please come in.” She showed him into the parlour, where Edward and Duncan were sitting, reading.

“Hello, Teddy,” Edward said, looking up from the book. Duncan looked up as well.

“Hello, Daddy,” Duncan said.

“How’s Jean?” Edward asked.

“The baby’s fine, but the doctor says that Jean needs to gain some weight,” Teddy replied. “Thank you for watching Duncan.”

“Any time,” Edward replied. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Duncan,” Edward said to the boy, ruffling his hair. Duncan gave him a hug and jumped off the couch, taking his father’s hand.

“Ready to go?” father asked son, and he nodded.

“Thanks again, Edward,” Teddy said, and he and his son left his cousin’s house. “Your Mummy wants to see you,” Teddy told his son as they arrived home. “She’s not feeling very well right now, so you’ll have to be quiet.”

“All right, Daddy,” Duncan replied seriously. Teddy opened the door to the bedroom, and Duncan stepped into the bedroom. Teddy hovered in the doorway for a few moments until Jean motioned for him to enter.

“Take off your shoes and come and join me, darling,” Jean said. Duncan obeyed and climbed into bed with her.

“Shall I get some tea, Jean?” Teddy asked.

“That would be nice, Teddy, thank you,” Jean replied, smiling at him.

“All right, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he said, exiting the room.

“Mummy, are you all right?” her son asked her.

“Yes, darling, I’m fine,” she said, smiling weakly at him.

“You don’t look well,” he said.

“I’m fine,” she said. “Don’t worry about me, my dear,” she said. “Now, how was your day with Uncle Eddy? What did you two do?”

“We went to the park and then we went back to the house to read,” Duncan said.

“What did you do at the park?” she asked.

“We fed the ducks and went for a walk,” Duncan said.

“How lovely, darling!” she exclaimed. “Did you have a good time?”

“I did,” Duncan said.

Teddy came in, bearing a tray of tea. Setting it down on the nightstand, he poured his wife a cup of tea, his son a cup of milk, and then poured a cup of tea for himself.

“Won’t you join us, Teddy?” Jean asked, smiling at him. He nodded, and, kicking off his shoes, joined his wife and son.

“Duncan was just telling me about his day,” Jean said. “He and Edward went to the park and fed the ducks.”

“That sounds nice; maybe we can go later this week,” Teddy said.

“Good idea,” Jean said. “Would you like that, Duncan?” she asked her son.

“Yes, Mummy,” Duncan replied.

Jean handed her empty cup of tea to her husband and yawned.

“Let’s let your mother take a nap, Duncan,” he said.

“Ah, no; stay, please!” Jean said.

“Jean, the doctor said that when you’re tired, you have to rest,” Teddy said.

“All right,” Jean sighed. She kissed Duncan lightly on his forehead.

“Sleep well, Mummy,” Duncan said, climbing out of the bed. He and Teddy left the room, and Jean leaned back against the pillows, closing her eyes. She fell asleep a few moments later, and dreamed of her husband and son.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mummy, have you and Daddy always lived in Australia?” Duncan asked her three months later. They were downstairs in the parlour, waiting for Teddy to bring in the tea.

“No, darling,” she said. “We used to live in Edinburgh, in Scotland.”

“Is that far away?” he asked.

“All the way across the world,” Jean said. “Go fetch the atlas from the study, and I’ll show you.” Duncan hopped down from the sofa and ran to the study, returning a few moments later with the large atlas. She opened the book and laid it out on the coffee table. “Here is Edinburgh,” Jean said, pointing to her hometown. “And here is Sydney,” she said, pointing to the city where they lived now.

“Can we go to Edinburgh one day?” Duncan asked.

“I don’t know, darling,” she said, stroking his hair. “Your father and I left Edinburgh because of some... bad memories there,” she explained.

“Oh,” her son replied. “How did you get to Australia?” he asked.

“We took a big boat from Edinburgh to Sydney.”

“Bigger than the ones that we go on at the beach?” he asked.

“Yes, dear; much, much bigger,” she chuckled. “Bigger than our house.”

“Wow!” Duncan exclaimed.

“Maybe one day we’ll take you there, Duncan,” she said, stroking his hair. “Maybe one day.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“How did you and Teddy meet?” Edward asked her, the same afternoon Duncan had asked her about Edinburgh. It seemed to be a day for reminiscing. Teddy had taken Duncan to the park.

“We were both teachers at the Marcia Blaine School for Girls in Edinburgh,” Jean began. “When I started there, I knew that I was attracted to him, despite the fact that he was married to Deirdre at the time. One day, at the end of my first year at Marcia Blaine, he asked me to pose for him. I agreed, and we ended up in bed together later that night. Afterwards, I ran off to Italy for the summer. I knew that I loved him, but I did not want to begin an affair with him because he was married.”

“Then how did you end up married to him?” he asked.

“Well, he continued to try to win me over throughout the years, and, a few days before I was dismissed, he confronted me. My lover, one of the other teachers, was getting married, and I didn’t know it. Teddy confronted me and he made me realise that I had been living a lie for years. Then... well, then we began an affair. Deirdre found out, and she had the marriage annulled. We got married a few days later.”

“And why did you move to Sydney?” he asked curiously.

“One of my students, Sandy Stranger, had been sleeping with Teddy, but she had broken it off before Teddy and I became lovers again. Five months into my pregnancy, I slipped into a coma after a rock was thrown through our parlour window; I was in a coma for a month. Teddy suspected Sandy. When I emerged from the coma, Teddy and I went to a hotel. When our house burned down a few days later, well, we knew it was Sandy. We left for Australia three days later.”

“Oh, my God, Jean – that’s awful,” Edward said, shocked. He placed his hand over hers in sympathy.

“It was,” Jean said. “It certainly was. And today... today, Duncan asked me if we could go to Edinburgh. Oh, Edward, I miss it – I miss it so much, but I’m too scared to return. I’m afraid that Sandy will find us and hurt us – I’m terrified that she will hurt Duncan or the new baby,” she said, resting a protective hand on her burgeoning belly. “But I do want Duncan and the new baby to see where I grew up. Edinburgh is a part of me, and it should be a part of them as well.”

He smiled at her. “Well, I hope that you will be able to return one day,” he said. His expression changed into one of puzzlement. “Does Duncan know that he has half-brothers and half-sisters?” he asked.

“No, he doesn’t,” Jean said. “I know that we should tell him, though.” She winced suddenly.

“Are you all right, Jean?” he asked her, concerned.

She smiled at him. “Yes, I’m fine. The baby’s just a strong kicker. Would you like to feel?” she asked him, and he nodded. She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. He smiled in delight as he felt the baby kick.

“That’s wonderful!” he exclaimed. She smiled at him.

“It is, isn’t it?” she asked. She yawned.

“Tired, darling?” he asked her, and she nodded. “I’ll help you up to bed, then,” he said.

“But I want to stay down here with you,” she pouted, sounding like a petulant child. He smiled softly at her.

“Why don’t we compromise? I’ll make up a bed for you down here on the couch, and stay with you. All right?” he asked.

“All right,” she agreed.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, and went upstairs to the linen closet to get a spare set of blankets and a few pillows. When he returned, she was fast asleep. He unfolded one of the blankets and laid it over her, then gently placed a pillow beneath her head. After making sure she was comfortable, he sat down in an armchair next to the couch and watched the love of his life sleep.

Several hours later, Jean woke up, screaming. Edward rushed to her side.

“What’s wrong, Jean?” he asked, taking her hand.

“Oh, God,” she gasped, trying to catch her breath. “Oh, God.”

“Jean,” he begged her. “What happened?”

“I dreamed that Duncan was in the house as it burned,” she gasped.

“The house in Edinburgh?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Oh, God, Edward, I don’t know if I can ever go back to Edinburgh,” she said.

“It’s all right, Jean – it’s all right,” he soothed her. “It’ll be all right.”

When Teddy and Duncan returned, just in time for dinner, Jean had composed herself again. She made Edward promise that he would not tell Teddy about her nightmare – she did not want to worry him. Though the beginning of her pregnancy had been difficult, after she had gained some weight, the pregnancy proceeded smoothly. Despite the good reports from the doctor, Teddy had been very overprotective of her.

Edward stayed for dinner that night. There was not much conversation, as Jean was still shaken from her nightmare earlier. After dinner, Edward left and Jean went up to bed. Teddy tucked their son in to bed.

“Daddy, can we go to Edinburgh one day?” he asked.

“Yes, we can,” his father replied. “Perhaps after the baby is born.”

“All right,” Duncan replied.

“Good night,” Teddy said.

“Good night,” Duncan replied.

Teddy went to his bedroom. Though it was still quite early in the evening, he was very tired. He got changed into his pyjamas and slipped into bed next to his wife.

A few hours later, he was woken up by his wife’s screams. “No, oh God no!” she screamed.

“Jean; Jean, wake up!” he attempted to wake Jean up, and she finally succeeded.

“Oh, God, Teddy,” she sobbed, flinging herself into his arms.

“Darling, are you all right?” he asked her, stroking her hair.

“Teddy, Teddy, Teddy,” she sobbed, burying her face against his chest. “Oh, God.”

“Jean, what’s wrong?”

“Teddy, I dreamt that our house in Edinburgh was burning and Duncan was inside,” she sobbed. “Oh, God, Teddy.”

“Shh, Jean; it’s all right,” he soothed her. “We’re not in Edinburgh any longer.”

Eventually, her sobs stopped, and she fell asleep, her head resting against his chest. He, too, joined his wife in slumber.

[Katheryn Mae]

Oh no ... I'm seeing some foreshadowing coming up. But then again - maybe not. I love this chappie!

[kissofdeath]

awww. Duncan's such a sweetie!

Not like the little brats I'm forced to deal with!

[KristaMarie]

Poor Jean This was really great, as always!

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Five

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As always, dedicated to kissofdeath and Krista Marie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the next two weeks, Jean was plagued with nightmares of their time in Edinburgh. Teddy grew quite worried, and eventually consulted Jean’s doctor. All the advice he could give Teddy was to keep Jean calm and safe, so that she would not inadvertently harm the baby. Teddy tried, and it worked – Jean’s nightmares disappeared. Teddy did not know, however, that it was not because of him that her nightmares disappeared – it was because of Edward. Edward had been a much greater help to Jean than Teddy had been. Every night, Edward wrote a long letter to Jean, reassuring her that he would never let anything bad happen to her. She kept the letters in a locked box in the drawer of her nightstand.

Dearest, darling Jean,

I promise you that I will never let anything bad happen to you again. As long as it is in my power, I will make sure that you are happy, safe, and loved for the rest of your life. I love you, my darling, and I want the best for you – even if the best is not me. I love you with all my heart, Jean, and I will love you for eternity.

Yours always,

Edward

Thanks to Edward’s loving letters, Jean was able, finally, to push her nightmares aside. Both she and Edward had an agreement to let Teddy think that it was thanks to him that her nightmares had stopped.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The months ticked by. Nothing of note really happened, except that Duncan started school. He attended Riverview, a day and boarding school run by the Jesuits. Despite Jean’s contempt for the Roman Catholic Church, Edward had reassured her that it was one of the finest schools in Sydney, and he himself had gone there as a child. Jean acquiesced only because she wanted her son to have the best education that he could. Surprisingly, Duncan loved the school. His teachers – Jesuit priests – loved him as well – Duncan was a very bright child, and learned very quickly. Jean was so proud of her son.

Though Duncan was so good with standard academics, his real passion, even at the age of four, was painting. He certainly had inherited his parents’ artistic temperaments. He had also inherited his father’s talent in art. Teddy, especially, was pleased that Duncan had inherited his talent – none of his other six children had shown the slightest proclivity towards art, probably because Deirdre had no real liking for it. He hoped that their next child would be just as talented.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November came, and Jean waited patiently for the baby to arrive. Early in the morning of the eleventh of November, 1941, Jean went into labour. Teddy brought Duncan over to Edward’s, so that Edward could bring him to school. Teddy then called the doctor, who came over right away. Her labour was much more difficult this time around, lasting nearly twelve hours. Teddy was not allowed to be with his wife, and he could not bear to stay downstairs, listening to his wife’s screams of pain echo through the house. He went over to Edward’s house, and they waited for word of the birth. The baby was not born by the time they had to pick Duncan up from school, so Teddy went to pick up his son while Edward waited for news. Duncan and Teddy had returned before the baby was born, and they sat at Edward’s house, waiting. Finally, at five o’clock in the afternoon, they received word that the baby had been born. They hurried back to the house and up to the bedroom, where Jean was laying, exhausted but happy, on the bed, cradling her son.

Duncan rushed to his mother’s side, and she smiled at him.

“Would you like to see your new baby brother?” Jean asked her oldest son, and Duncan nodded, standing on his toes to look at the baby. His new baby brother was sleeping, his tiny chest rising and falling with each breath. The child’s golden hair glistened in the dim light of the room.

“What’s his name?” Duncan asked.

“William Alistair Lloyd,” Jean said.

William began to stir, his eyes fluttering open. He had large blue eyes, just like Duncan’s and Jean’s. Duncan looked down at his brother and smiled. William smiled back. Jean’s eyes filled with tears of joy as she watched her two sons. A few minutes later, William dropped back asleep, and Jean yawned herself.

“Let’s let your Mummy and your brother get some sleep,” Teddy said, ushering Duncan out of the room, leaving Edward with Jean.

“Congratulations, darling,” he said, kissing her cheek lightly.

“Thank you, Edward,” she whispered, her voice hoarse from screaming in pain during her labour.

“He’s beautiful,” Edward said, a gently finger tracing Jean’s son’s features.

“He is, isn’t he?” Jean replied, her voice full of maternal pride. Teddy came back in.

“Do you want Duncan to stay with me for a few nights?” Edward asked Teddy and Jean.

“That would be grand; thank you, Edward,” Teddy replied.

“I’ll take him back to my house now, then,” Edward said. “Congratulations, Jean, Teddy,” Edward said. “I’ll bring Duncan around tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Edward,” Jean said, smiling softly at him.

Edward returned her smile, then left to fetch Duncan. They stopped by the room to say goodnight, then left for Edward’s house.

“Would you like to hold your son, Teddy?” Jean asked, and Teddy nodded, sitting down on the bed next to her. She handed their son to Teddy, who smiled down at the boy. He was sleeping again.

“He has your hair,” Teddy said.

She smiled down at the baby. “It’s only fair that one of our children should inherit something from me.”

“Duncan has your eyes,” Teddy countered.

“And your talent,” Jean replied, chuckling slightly. The baby began to whimper. “Feeding time, I suppose,” Jean said, opening her nightgown. Teddy handed the baby back to her, and she held him to her breast. He began to suckle hungrily, and Jean smiled down at her new baby boy. Fifteen minutes later, he had fallen back asleep, and Jean handed the baby to Teddy, who put him in his bassinet. When he turned back to Jean, she, too, was asleep. He sat down next to his wife, tenderly stroking her hair.

“I love you, Jean,” he whispered, and she smiled in her slumber, turning towards him. He changed into his pyjamas and joined her in bed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Duncan had been a very easy baby, but, unlike his brother, William had a very difficult infanthood. He was quite a sickly child, which pained Jean, and the doctor visited nearly every week to diagnose the baby with a new illness. He was colicky one week, had the mumps the next, and had a cold after that. Jean and Teddy were very worried about their child, but, by the time he was a year old, William had outgrown his illnesses. Both Jean and Teddy were immensely relieved. By the time that William was a year old, his eyes had changed from the light blue they had been at his birth to a rich chocolate brown identical to Teddy’s.

Duncan was a marvellous big brother – he loved spending time with his young brother, teaching him everything he knew. William was very attached to his brother, even from an early age. Thanks to Duncan’s persistence at talking to William, he began to speak at the remarkably young age of nine months. He also began to walk at nine months, and he got into everything. Jean was forever trying to keep him out of trouble.

Jean was very happy that Duncan loved his younger brother so much – she had been quite worried that he would resent his younger brother’s presence or be jealous of him. The exact opposite was true. Duncan was growing up to be an incredibly generous and loving child, and Jean could not believe that he was her son. She knew that she had been an extraordinarily selfish woman for most of her life, but becoming a wife and a mother had changed her, though she was certainly not as wonderful a person as her son, or, for that matter, as wonderful a person as Edward. She knew that it was Edward’s influence that had made her oldest son such a fine person.

Though Teddy had been so supportive during her pregnancy, once she had given birth, he slipped a bit back into his old ways. No, he was not cheating on her again, but he was back to spending long nights at his studio. He also began to drink again – he had given that up during her pregnancy, but once William was born, he returned to his old habits.

Once more, Edward found himself in the role of surrogate father – not that he minded in the least. He loved Jean’s children as if they were his own. Edward, unlike Teddy, had never had any children. Edward was quite content to be the surrogate father to Jean’s children – and Jean was very happy to have Edward’s influence in her sons’ life.

Jean and Teddy’s seventh wedding anniversary occurred when Duncan was six and William was sixteen months old. Edward had offered to watch the children so that Teddy and Jean could have some time to themselves, for the first time in over a year. Their last anniversary had not been much of a celebration, as William had been quite sick – he had had the mumps at the time – so, as a treat for Jean, he had arranged for them to spend the day entirely to themselves. He had made reservations for them at one of Sydney’s elite restaurants. Jean was so pleased to see that her husband really cared about her – and she was thrilled that they would be able to spend the evening alone with each other.

After dinner, Teddy brought Jean home. He carried her up to their bedroom, just like he had when they were first married.

“I love you, Jean,” he said, smiling down at her.

“Oh, Teddy,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “I love you to.”

He began to undress her, taking pleasure in revealing her skin. “You are so beautiful, Jean; even more beautiful than you were the first time we made love,” he said.

“And you are even more handsome,” she said. He smiled down at her and pulled off the rest of her clothes.

It was her turn to undress him, and she, too, took her time. While she removed his clothes, he caressed her breasts, and it was incredibly hard for her to concentrate on undressing him. She managed it in the end, however, and lay down on the bed, pulling him down on top of her.

They had not made love in months, as they had both been busy with William. Despite their urgency and desire, they took their time, Teddy caressing her breasts first with his hands, then his mouth; Jean kissing absolutely every inch of his body. Finally, he guided himself into her, and she began to come almost immediately, having been so aroused by just his touch.

“Oh, God, Teddy, Teddy my love!” she cried out as she came. “Oh, harder, harder!” she begged him, and he obliged her, thrusting harder and harder within her. She clutched at his back as he moved within her, and she cried out again. He finally climaxed just as her second orgasm peaked, and he collapsed on top of her, rolling onto his back so that he would not crush her.

“I love you, Jean,” he whispered as he cradled her against his chest.

“And I love you, Teddy,” she replied.

The next day, Jean went around to Edward’s house to pick up her children. Teddy had gone to his studio.

“Did you have a nice anniversary, Jean?” Edward asked her.

“Yes, I did,” Jean said, smiling. She looked like a cat that got the cream. “How were the boys?” she asked.

“Perfectly well-behaved,” Edward said. “They’re upstairs.”

“I’ll go fetch them, then,” Jean said.

“I’ll go with you,” Edward replied, and they walked up the stairs. Duncan and William were playing with a few blocks – Duncan was stacking them and William was knocking them over.

“Hello, darlings,” Jean said, and her two sons looked up at her.

“Hello, Mummy!” Duncan said, jumping up and giving her a hug. “Did you have a good anniversary?”

“Yes, dear, I did,” Jean said. She smiled down at her sons before picking up William. “Ready to go home?”

“All right,” Duncan replied.

“Edward, will you help me bring the boys’ things back?” she asked, and he nodded. A half-hour later, Jean, Edward, William, and Duncan were walking back to the house.

“Would you like some tea, Edward?” Jean asked.

“All right,” he replied. Jean rang the bell, and one of the maids entered.

“Can you bring us some tea, please?” Jean asked, and the maid nodded.

“Mummy, can William and I play upstairs?” Duncan asked.

“Of course, darling,” Jean replied. Her two sons walked up the stairs hand in hand. A few moments later, the maid brought the tea in.

“Shall I be mother?” Jean asked, and Edward nodded. She poured out two cups of tea, adding a splash of milk and two lumps of sugar to her cup and a single lump to Edward’s cup. As they sat in comfortable silence, sipping their tea, Teddy burst in.

“Jean, we’re going back to Edinburgh!” he declared.

She dropped her cup of tea as she fainted.

A few minutes later, she awoke.

“Are you all right, Jean?” Teddy asked her.

“Oh, Teddy, please don’t make us move back to Edinburgh!” she cried. “I like it here in Australia – it’s safe here. Please, Teddy...”

“Oh, Jean,” he chuckled. “Not to move back, darling, just to visit. They want to give me an award.”

“For how long?” she asked.

“A month, at most,” Teddy said. “It’ll be fine, Jean, I promise.”

“When?” Jean asked.

“In September,” he said. “We’d have to leave in a month. Come, Jean – it will be wonderful for our children to see Edinburgh.”

“All right,” she acquiesced reluctantly. She did not want her husband to leave her again – she was scared that he would never come back if he did. And she did want her children to see Edinburgh, the city she had loved so dear for so long. She had no choice but to agree, and agree she did.

[Katheryn Mae]

*shiver* Oh dear ... this isn't looking good at all. Great update!

[kissofdeath]

ooh, is it the return of Sandy?

Man, I totally need to update my POMJB fic.

MUST-PULL-AWAY-FROM-VIDEO-MAKING!!!!!

lol.

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Six


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As always, dedicated to kissofdeath and Krista Marie.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A month later, Jean, Teddy, William, and Duncan stood on the deck of the ship, waving goodbye to Edward, who was standing at the pier. Jean was still nervous about returning to Edinburgh, though she was a bit excited as well. She had not been back in nearly seven years, and she had missed it so much. She was also excited that her two sons would see where their parents had lived when they were first married.

As the ship pulled away from the dock, Jean, Teddy, William, and Duncan went to explore their cabin. They had two first-class staterooms adjoining each other; Duncan and Will would have one, and Jean and Teddy would have the other. The staterooms were large, each with their own sitting room. After they had examined their homes for the next three weeks, Teddy took Duncan around the ship while Jean put William down for a nap. Jean settled down for a nap as well, but was stirred out of her slumber by her younger son’s cries. Yawning, she shuffled into the other stateroom and picked up William.

“Are you all right, darling?” she asked him, rocking him back and forth.

“Mummy, I’m scared of being by myself this room,” he said, burying his face in her neck. “Can I stay with you?”

“Of course, darling,” she said, walking back through to her room. She tucked him in her bed, then joined him. They drifted off to sleep.

They woke a few hours later when Teddy and Duncan came back in from exploring the ship.

“It’s so big, Mummy!” Duncan declared. “Bigger than anything I’ve ever seen!”

She smiled at him. “What did you two see?” she asked as he climbed up on the bed to join her.

“We saw the swimming pool and the dining rooms and the staircase and the library...” he trailed off. “Everything, really!” he pronounced.

“Ah, everything?” she asked him, beginning to tickle his stomach. He giggled, trying to roll away from Jean, but he failed, and she continued to tickle him.

“Uncle!” he cried, and Jean stopped tickling him. He lay on his back, trying to catch his breath.

“I’m hungry, Mummy,” William said.

“All right, darling,” Jean said, climbing out of bed. “Let’s get you dressed, hmm?”

She went into the stateroom that William and Duncan were sharing and pulled out his navy blue blazer and khaki pants, along with a white oxford shirt and a tie. Jean dressed William, and, after he was dressed, she got dressed herself while Teddy minded the boys. A half an hour later, the Lloyd family headed to the first-class dining room for dinner.

Both boys behaved like angels. After dinner, Teddy and Jean took their children for a walk on deck.

“Miss Brodie?” a familiar voice called, and Jean turned around.

A tall, strawberry-blonde haired young woman was standing there.

“Jenny?” she asked, and the woman nodded. “Jenny, I can’t believe you’re here!” she exclaimed, embracing her former student.

“How are you, Miss Brodie?” she asked.

“Call me Jean, dear,” she said, and Jenny nodded. “I’ve been very well. How have you been?” she asked her former student.

“I’ve been well; I’m coming back from my honeymoon,” Jenny said. “Why are you on this ship, if that’s not too rude a question?”

“Well, you know that I married Teddy Lloyd, don’t you?” she asked. Jenny nodded. “Well, we moved to Australia seven years ago, after our house was burned, and we’ve lived there ever since. We’re going back to Edinburgh because Teddy is getting an award,” Jean explained.

Teddy approached the two women, his two sons holding his hands. “Hello, Jenny,” Teddy said.

“Hello, Mr. Lloyd,” Jenny replied.

“Please call me Teddy,” he said.

“Jenny, these are our sons,” Jean said. “This is Duncan,” Jean placed her hand on her older son’s hand, “And this is William.”

“How do you do?” Jenny asked, extending her hand to Jean’s older son. He shook it solemnly.

“Pleased to meet you,” Duncan said gravely.

“Jenny was one of my students,” Jean explained to her sons. A man approached them, wrapping his arm around Jenny’s waist. Jenny smiled up at him.

“Miss Brodie – Jean – this is my husband, Richard Quigley,” Jenny said. “Richard, this is one of my former teachers, Jean Brodie, her husband, Teddy Lloyd, and her two sons, Duncan and William.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Richard said, shaking first Teddy’s hand, then Jean’s.

William yawned.

“We’d better go,” Jean said, picking up her sleepy son.

“So soon?” Jenny asked.

“I’m sorry, dear. Perhaps you will join us for breakfast tomorrow?” Jean suggested.

“I’d like that, Jean,” Jenny replied. “Tomorrow at eight thirty in the first-class dining room?” she suggested, and Jean nodded.

“Good night,” Jean said, kissing Jenny lightly on the cheek.

Jenny returned the kiss. “See you tomorrow.”

Jean smiled once more at her favourite former student, and walked back to her stateroom with her husband and two sons.

As soon as they reached their staterooms, Jean undressed her youngest son and changed him into his pyjamas. He was asleep before she could tuck him into bed.

Duncan was far more awake than his brother.

“Mummy, will you read me a story?” he asked her.

“Of course, darling – get changed into your pyjamas first, though,” she said. “When you’re finished, come into my room.”

A few minutes later, Duncan walked through the short corridor to his mother and father’s room, carrying “The Little Prince”, his current favourite book. He knocked on the door to his parents’ bedroom.

“Come in!” he heard his mother call, and he opened the door. She was dressed in her nightgown, a dressing gown wrapped around her. “Hello, darling,” she said. He climbed up into bed with her. “What book are we reading tonight?” she asked. He handed her the copy of “The Little Prince”.

“Once when I was six years old I saw a magnificent picture in a book, called True Stories from Nature, about the primeval forest...”

Three chapter in, Jean looked down at her son and saw that he had fallen asleep. She set down the book and picked up her son, carrying him back to his room. It was quite difficult, as he was getting too heavy for her to carry him easily, but she managed. Once she had tucked her son in, she stayed there for a few minutes, looking down at her two boys. She loved them both so much. Gently kissing each of their foreheads, she went down the corridor to her bedroom. Jean slipped between the covers and picked up the alarm clock, winding it. She set the alarm clock down and snuggled between the sheets, falling asleep almost immediately.

She was woken up a few hours later when her husband joined her in bed. He was naked, and she could feel his erection pressing against her abdomen. She moaned as he woke her up with kisses.

“Mmm, Teddy,” she whispered. He entered her, and she bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out.

“Oh, God, Jean, yes!” he whispered hoarsely as he pumped in and out of her. “Yes, darling, yes!”

She began to come, her nails digging into his back, her back arching as he continued to thrust within her. A few moments later, he too climaxed. Finally, they collapsed in each other’s arms.

“God, I love you, Jean,” he whispered, stroking her hair. She snuggled up to him.

“I love you too, Teddy,” she replied. They drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Jean and her family met Jenny and her new husband for breakfast. Jenny and Jean had a lot to catch up on – after all, it had been seven years since they had seen each other. Jenny filled Jean in with all that had happened to the people from Marcia Blaine.

Miss Mackay had died last year of pneumonia. Jean smiled a bit at this, though she did not wish to be mean-spirited.

Gordon Lowther and his wife, Heather Lockhart, had had a daughter five years ago, whom they named Helen.

Monica had gone on to London, and was now a member of the Royal Court Theatre. Jean always knew that she would go far in the theatre. Jenny had continued to model – that was how she had met her husband – he was an artist himself. He and Teddy got on like a house on fire.

And Sandy, Jean was relieved to hear, had entered a nunnery. Jean was so happy, knowing that her children would be safe while they were in Edinburgh. Jean made a mental note to write a letter to Edward to let him know the good news.

After breakfast, Teddy and Richard took the boys to the pool while Jenny and Jean strolled around the deck.

“Why did you stop teaching, Jean?” Jenny asked her.

“Sandy told the school board that I had been teaching fascism,” she explained. “And the Board of Governors dismissed me.”

“Oh, Jean – I never knew!” she exclaimed. “I stopped by your flat the week after you left, but you weren’t there.”

“I’m sorry, Jenny,” Jean apologised. “I couldn’t stay in the flat any longer – it held too many memories.”

“It’s all right, Jean,” Jenny replied.

“You’ll have dinner with us tonight, won’t you?” Jean asked.

“Of course,” Jenny said.

“I’d best go – it’s almost time for William’s nap,” Jean said. “I’ll see you at dinner?” she asked.

“Of course, Jean,” Jenny replied. “See you at dinner.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the trip passed quite uneventfully for the Lloyds and the Quigleys. Jenny and Jean were able to catch up on the past seven years. They made plans for the Quigleys to come down and spend the next Christmas with them. When the boat docked, Jean and Jenny said their goodbyes. Jenny and her husband flew off to London, where they were now living, while Jean, Teddy, and their two sons checked into their hotel.

It was late, and Jean tucked her sons in to bed. Like on the ship, they had two adjoining suites. Jean stayed with her sons for several hours, just watching them sleep. She loved them both so much, and was so glad that Sandy had joined a nunnery. She was so glad that Sandy would never hurt her or her family again. She began to grow drowsy, and, giving her each of her sons a kiss on their forehead, she returned to her room and crawled beneath the sheets. Her husband was still not back, and she suspected that he would not be back for some time. Sighing in disappointment, she allowed herself to drift off to sleep.

The next morning, she was woken up by her two sons crawling into bed with her. Teddy had come back very late last night, and he was sleeping on the couch.

“Good morning, darlings,” Jean said, kissing her son’s cheeks.

“Good morning, Mummy,” her boys said.

“Would you like to see Edinburgh today, boys?” she asked, and they nodded, wiggling with excitement.

“Let’s get dressed, then, shall we?” she asked, and they nodded, tumbling out of bed. A half an hour later, Jean and her two sons were headed downstairs to the hotel’s restaurant for breakfast. Jean had left a note for Teddy. After breakfast, they headed outside. There hotel was right on the Royal Mile, and Jean was pleased that they wouldn’t have to walk to far to some of her favourite places, especially as it was much colder here in Edinburgh than it was in Australia, but Jean revelled in it.

Jean and her two sons walked up the Royal Mile to St. Giles Cathedral, to Holyroodhouse, and finally to the building where her husband had had his studio. After their long walk, Jean brought her boys back to the hotel for lunch. They stopped off at the rooms to see if Teddy was awake; he was, and, a few minutes later, the Lloyds headed down to lunch.

After lunch, Jean went downstairs to arrange for someone to watch the two boys for the night. Tonight was Teddy’s award ceremony at the museum. One of the maids would watch the children for the night.

A few hours later, Jean and Teddy finished getting ready for the award ceremony. Jean was wearing a long, black silk dress, long white gloves, and the pearl earrings and pearl necklace Edward had given her for her birthday several years ago. Teddy was dressed in a smart tuxedo, with a set of cufflinks that Jean had given him a few years ago. After getting dressed, the Lloyds then got their sons ready for bed. After they were tucked in, Jean and Teddy gave the maid instructions on what to do if their sons woke up. Jean and Teddy then hailed a cab and left for the museum.

There were hundreds of people there, and Jean squeezed Teddy’s arm lightly – she was a bit uncomfortable. On display were seven of the fifteen portraits Teddy had painted of her nearly seven years ago. Jean was quite uncomfortable, seeing her likeness hung on the walls. And she could not even take refuge in her husband’s embrace, as he had been dragged off almost immediately by the curator of the museum, and Jean herself was dragged off by the curator’s wife.

As the evening wore on, Jean was growing more and more uneasy. Teddy, however, was in his element – he loved being surrounded by people, especially women, and there were many beautiful women vying for his attention tonight. The worst thing about it was that Teddy flirted with all of the women who flirted with him, which hurt Jean. She patiently waited for the ceremony to begin – it seemed like years before her husband was finally presented with the award.

Once the award was presented, Teddy had to make a speech. He thanked the museum, the curator, and the guests.

“And none of this would have been possible without my inspiration, my Muse, my wife – Jean Brodie Lloyd,” he said. He gestured for his wife to join him, and she did. “I love you, Jean,” he said, and the room burst into applause as he kissed her. She smiled at him when they broke out of the kiss, and he wrapped his arm around his waist, guiding her off the stage. He stayed by her side for the rest of the evening, though he did continue to flirt with other women. Finally, the celebration wound down, and Jean and Teddy went back to their hotel.

He was very amorous on the ride back to the hotel – kissing her neck, caressing her breasts, despite the presence of the cab driver.

“Teddy,” she whispered, pushing him away half-heartedly. “Wait until we get back to the hotel,” she said.

“I can’t wait, Jean, and it’s all your fault,” he growled lowly. “You look so beautiful in that dress...” he trailed off as he captured her lips with his again, just as they arrived at the hotel.

“Thank you,” Jean told the cabby breathlessly, handing him the cab fare. She and her husband tumbled out of the cab and went up to their room. Jean paid the maid who had watched their sons while Teddy went to the bedroom. Jean joined him, and he undressed her quickly while she helped him off with his clothes. He pushed her down onto the bed and climbed on top of her, continuing to kiss her.

“Oh, God, Jean, I need you,” he whispered hoarsely. He pinned her beneath him and pinned her beneath him, entering her slowly. She stifled her cries on pent-up frustration by biting down on her lip. He began to move in her slowly, thrusting deep within her.

“Teddy,” she moaned, rolling her hips against his. “Oh, Teddy!”

“I love you, Jean, oh, I love you!” he said, kissing her as he pumped within her. He began to come, gripping her shoulders tightly. She climaxed as well, moaning her pleasure. He fell on top of her, and she embraced him tightly. He rolled over onto his back and held his wife to him.

“I love you, Teddy,” she said, kissing his chest lightly.

“I love you, Jean,” he replied. She caressed his chest before rolling out of bed.

“I suppose we should get dressed, just in case the boys decide to wake us up in the morning,” Jean said, rummaging through the drawers. She pulled out one of her nightgowns and handed Teddy a pair of pyjamas. After getting dressed, Jean rejoined her husband in bed.

“I’m so happy you got that award,” Jean told her husband.

“I am too,” he said, stroking her hair.

“Teddy, thank you for saying that I was your Muse, Teddy,” she added.

“You are, Jean,” he said. “You are my Muse – you always have been; always will be.”

Her heart nearly burst with the love she felt for her husband. She rested her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and they drifted off to sleep.

[Katheryn Mae]

OMG. I love it ... only I am scared. *clungs to "Envious"* lol...xD

~tabby¢¾

[kissofdeath]

aww. i loved the return of Jenny!

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Seven


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As always, dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of their month in Edinburgh passed very quickly, and soon it was time for them to board the ship back to Australia. Jean was torn between staying in Edinburgh, the city that she loved, and returning to Australia, where Edward was. Eventually, she decided not to say anything about her wish to remain in Edinburgh to Teddy, but held her tongue, and they returned to Australia as planned.

They were met by Edward at the pier when they returned from Edinburgh. As soon as she saw him, she knew that she had made the right decision not to tell Teddy that she wished to remain in Edinburgh, because she knew that she would not be happy without Edward. She could not believe that she had disliked him so intensely when they had first met. Jean now knew that she had been wrong to dislike him, because he was the one person who loved her more than anything. Yes, Teddy loved her – she knew that – but he did not love her and cherish her above all others, like Edward did. And yes, her sons loved her, and she loved them – but they did not love her in the way she needed – nor did she want them to love her like that. But she needed that love from somewhere, and Edward was there to provide it.

They walked down the gangplank to the pier, Jean’s eyes locked with Edward’s as she walked closer to him. She had not seen him for nearly three months, nearly a quarter of a year, and she had not realised, until she laid eyes on him again, how much she had missed him, and how much she loved him.

“Hello, Edward,” Jean said, smiling as he embraced her, giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek.

“Hello, Jean,” he replied, beaming down at her. “How was Edinburgh?”

“Wonderful,” Jean replied, a wistful expression on her face. “Just wonderful.”

Jean felt a tug at her hand. “Mummy, I’m tired; can we go home?” William asked her.

“Of course, darling,” she said, picking him up. Jean, Teddy, Duncan, William, and Edward headed to Edward’s car, and he drove them back to their house. Jean brought her two children up to bed, while Teddy went out for a drink. Edward helped her with the children, and, once they were asleep, they went downstairs.

“So you enjoyed your time in Edinburgh?” Edward asked her.

“Oh, yes,” she replied. “Especially because we did not have worry about Sandy. Oh, Edward, I hadn’t realised how much I had missed Edinburgh! I wanted to ask Teddy if we could move back there permanently.”

“Why didn’t you, if you missed it so much?” Edward asked her sadly.

“Because I couldn’t leave you, Edward,” Jean said. “And when we arrived back in Australia, and I saw you waiting on the dock for us, I knew that I made the right choice. I hadn’t realised how much I loved you until I saw you waiting for us. Edward, I could never leave Australia permanently unless you were with me,” she said. “I love you, Edward,” she said, leaning into his embrace.

“Oh, Jean, I love you too,” he whispered. She smiled up at him and pulled him down for a kiss.

A few minutes later, she pulled back. “I love you, Edward,” she said again. “I love you so much.”

“Oh, Jean,” he whispered, nuzzling her hair. “I love you. I am so glad that decided to come back,” he told her.

“I came back for you, Edward,” she replied.

“I am glad, Jean,” he said.

She smiled up at him once more before yawning. “Oh, I am sorry,” she said, covering her mouth with her hand.

“It’s all right, Jean; you’ve had a long journey, and I wouldn’t expect you not to be tired,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“All right, Edward,” she said, yawning again. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he replied. She stood up and gave him one final kiss.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

Teddy stumbled in at three o’clock in the morning, waking up his wife.

“Teddy, where have you been?” she asked him.

“At the bar,” he said, collapsing on the bed. “Ugh, I feel rough.”

“Teddy, we’ve got to talk,” she said.

“Can’t it wait until the morning?” he asked, slurring his words.

“All right,” she sighed, agreeing reluctantly.

“Good night,” he said, and rolled over, falling asleep almost immediately.

She could not fall back asleep, but rolled out of bed, rummaging in her locked nightstand drawer for the box of letters from Edward. She walked downstairs to the living room and opened the box, pulling out at random a letter from Edward.

Darling Jean,

Happy birthday, my love. I hope that you have the best day ever. I cannot believe that it has been nearly seven years since we first met, and every day you grow even more beautiful than the day before. You are so wonderful, my dearest, and I am so grateful to be a part of your life.

I love you, and I will love you forever.

Edward

Jean burst into tears. Why did she continue to choose Teddy over Edward? Why did she continue to love Teddy over Edward? Edward could give her everything – love, a home, a stable life... while Teddy only caused her pain. She loved both of them, loved them both so much. She did not know what to do – she honestly did not. She thought that she should leave Teddy and go to Edward – that might be best for the children – but she was not sure. Wouldn’t it be best for her children to have a home with their real father? And Teddy was a good father, he truly was... when he was not drunk. And she knew that he loved their children, and knew that he loved her. But Edward loved her sons as well, and loved her so much, much more than Teddy loved her. She did not know what to do. Sighing, she put the letters from Edward back in their box, and went up to her bedroom. Locking the box in the drawer, she slipped beneath the covers. Teddy turned towards her in his sleep. She smiled down at him, her heart overflowing with love despite herself. She loved him, loved him so much, and she knew, deep down, that she would never leave him.

The next morning, when Jean woke up, her husband was gone. There was a note on the nightstand, attached to a red rose. Jean opened the note.

Good morning, my darling. I am sorry that we’ll have to postpone our talk, but the National Art School rang, wanting me to meet with them immediately. We can talk when I get back.

I love you, Jean.

Teddy.

Jean smiled as she picked up the rose, holding it to her nose. She set it back down again and climbed out of bed. Picking up her dressing gown, she slipped into it and walked downstairs. She could hear her two sons laughing as she entered the living room. They were playing with Duncan’s train set, and Edward was there as well.

“Good morning,” Jean said, and her sons and Edward looked up.

“Good morning, Mummy!” her two boys cried, standing up and rushing towards her to give her a hug.

“Good morning, darlings,” she said, kissing each of them on their foreheads.

“Good morning, Jean,” Edward said, smiling at her.

“Good morning, Edward,” she replied.

“The boys have already had breakfast, and the maids left a tray for you here,” he said, gesturing to a covered tray on the coffee table.

“Thank you,” she said, walking over to the couch. The boys went back to their trains while Edward joined her on the couch, pouring her a cup of tea while she loaded her plate with eggs, bacon, and potatoes. “Thank you,” she said again, taking the cup of tea from Edward.

“Where’s Teddy this morning?” he asked.

“He left me a note, saying that the National Art School rang and asked him to come over immediately,” she said. “I wonder why?”

“Maybe they want him to do an exhibition,” Edward said.

“That would be lovely,” Jean said. “Then he won’t have to travel, like the last time.”

“Yes, that would,” he said, squeezing her hand lightly. She smiled at him.

A half an hour later, Jean had finished her breakfast and went upstairs to get dressed.

“Jean!” she heard her husband call.

“Just a minute!” she called back, and finished getting dressed. Five minutes later, Jean walked down the stairs and into the living room, where her husband, his cousin, and her two sons were waiting for her.

“Jean, darling, the National Art School wants me to do an exhibition for them,” he said.

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” she said, joining him on the couch. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Jean,” he said. “They want me to reprise my earlier exhibition, so I’ll have to set up a studio here at the house. You don’t mind posing for me again, do you?” he asked.

“No, of course not!” she said. “When is your exhibition? How many portraits do they want?”

“The exhibition is in nine months, and they want ten portraits, including the first one that I painted of you,” he said. “So we’ll have to start tomorrow at the latest.”

“All right,” she agreed, smiling. “They don’t want you to travel again, do they?” she asked, suddenly worried.

“No, they don’t,” Teddy replied.

“Good,” she replied.

“I’m going to start moving my things over to the spare room, all right?” he asked, and she nodded. “Edward,” he asked, turning to his cousin, “could I borrow your car?”

“Of course. Do you want some help?” he asked.

“That would be great,” Teddy replied. He turned back to Jean. “We’ll see you in a bit,” he said to Jean.

“All right, darling,” she replied.

The two men left, and Jean watched her sons play with their trains while she daydreamed.

She was so pleased that her husband was going to have another exhibition, and even more pleased that he would not have to travel this time. And they would be spending so much time together, which was wonderful.

“Mummy?” William asked her, and she pulled herself out of her daydream.

“Yes, dear?” she asked.

“When are we going back to Edinburgh?”

Jean smiled wistfully. “I don’t know, darling,” she said. “Maybe when you’re a bit older.”

“Can we move there?” Duncan asked.

“Don’t you like Australia?” Jean asked.

“Yes, but I like Edinburgh too,” Duncan stated. Jean smiled.

“Maybe when you have both finished school, we can move back so that you can go to university there,” Jean replied.

“But that’s so far away!” William pouted.

“We can always go back to visit,” Jean said.

“All right,” William said, pacified. The boys turned back to their trains, and Jean immersed herself in her daydream once again.

The next day, Duncan’s new school year began, and Edward took William out for the day so that Jean and Teddy could work on his portraits of her for the exhibition. For the first portrait, Jean would pose in profile. She had a marvellous, majestic profile, but he had never painted it before. He truly enjoyed painting her – he had meant what he said at the awards ceremony – she was his Muse. Teddy was glad that, once more, his wife was posing for him. He did love her, after all, even though he was attracted to other women at times. He did love her, loved her so much, but it was not in his nature to remain faithful. He was always susceptible to the attentions of women, but no other woman would ever capture his heart the way that she had, so many years ago. Jean was the love of his life, and no one would ever replace her. Painting her was a way for him to show her his love, which was so hard for him to express.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

June came, and with June came Jean’s forty-third birthday. For her birthday, which was on a Saturday, Jean spent the day with her family – Teddy, Duncan, William, and Edward. Duncan and William had helped the cook bake a cake, and they each had made a card for their mother. William and Duncan had also each drawn a picture for her; Duncan’s was of his mother, reading a book, and William’s was of their family. Duncan had also included a short essay he wrote about his mother, and he read it to her.

“My mummy is the most wonderful mummy in the world. She is the prettiest woman I have ever seen, and the nicest. She is good at cooking. My mummy likes to read to us and play with us. She is the best person in the world, and I love her a lot. Without my mummy, I would be very sad. She is my favourite person in the whole wide world, and I am very glad that she is my mummy.”

“Thank you, darling,” Jean said, dabbing away at her tears. “I loved it.”

Edward had gotten her a beautiful diamond brooch. “Oh, it’s lovely,” she said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

Teddy had forgotten her birthday, and therefore did not have a gift.

“I’m sorry, Jean,” he apologised. “I forgot; I suppose that I’ve been too wrapped up in the exhibition.”

She forced herself to smile, though her heart was breaking. “It’s all right, Teddy,” she told him.

He smiled at her, relieved. He did not realise that that hurt her even more.

“Now, when do I get to blow out the candles?” Jean asked her sons, forcing herself to be cheerful.

Later that night, when she was in bed with her husband, she began to sob. Little did she know that her husband was still awake, not asleep as she had thought. He did nothing, but laid still and listened to her cry, his heart aching. He knew that it was his fault that she was crying, but he did not know what to say to make it better. She finally cried herself to sleep, clutching her pillow to her chest. He laid awake the rest of the night.

The next morning, Jean woke up to an empty bed. It was still quite early, so she did not know where Teddy could be. She got dressed and walked to the spare room, the room her husband was using as his studio. He was not there either. Feeling utterly forlorn and forgotten, Jean wandered downstairs, only to find her husband sitting at the breakfast table, waiting for her. A small wrapped box was sitting on top of her plate.

“Happy belated birthday, my darling,” he said, standing up and walking over to her. He bent down and kissed her. Placing his hand on her back, he guided her to her seat, pulling out the chair for her. “Open your present, darling,” he urged her, and she did. The wrapping paper fell away to reveal a golden locket; she opened it, revealing a picture of each of her sons.

“Thank you, Teddy,” she said. “Will you help me put it on?” she asked, and he nodded, fastening the chain around her slim throat.

“I am sorry that I forgot your birthday, my love,” he apologised again.

“It’s all right, Teddy,” she lied.

“I am sorry all the same,” he said.

She smiled sadly at him, and opened her mouth to say something in response, but was interrupted by their children coming down the stairs for breakfast. Jean stood up and embraced her two sons.

“Good morning, darlings,” she said. “Ready for breakfast?”

Her sons nodded and Jean rang the bell. One of the maids came in, bearing a tray filled with their breakfast.

“Thank you,” Jean said as the maid set the tray down. She filled both of her sons’ plates, then her husband’s, and finally hers. Then her family settled down to a nice breakfast.

After breakfast, Jean, Duncan, William, and Teddy went to the studio to work on the next portrait. He had finished four already, and had six more months until his exhibition and five more portraits to finish before then.

For his fifth portrait, she was posing with their sons, reading them a book. Teddy was trying to get the boys painted in first, as neither of them liked sitting still for so long. Duncan was much better at sitting still than his brother, as he was older and had to sit still for hours at a time at school. Still, despite William’s fidgeting, and despite Duncan’s school schedule, the posing went well, and Teddy was able to finish the portrait in less than a month.

The rest of the portraits featured Jean, and they all finished much quicker than the one that also included their sons. Finally, it was time for his exhibition. Jean did not want to attend – she did not want to watch her husband flirt with dozens of women, just like at his award ceremony in Edinburgh. And that was indeed what happened. Jean left quite early on, and her husband did not even notice.

Edward was waiting for her at home, as he had watched the children for her. She collapsed into his arms.

“He doesn’t love me, Edward,” she sobbed, burying her face in his chest. He held her to him, soothing her.

“What happened?” he asked her.

“When, when we were there, he just went off and started chatting up all these other women, not even sparing me a glance. I can’t take it anymore, Edward, I really can’t...” she trailed off, turning her tear-stained face up to him.

He caressed her cheek. “What are you going to do?” he asked.

“I don’t know, Edward,” she whispered, looking utterly lost. “I can’t leave him; I love him too much to leave him. But I don’t know what to do.”

“Whatever you do decide to do, Jean, know that I will always love you,” he said.

“I know, Edward,” she sighed, resting her head against his chest. “Why do you waste your time with me?”

“Because I love you, Jean,” he said.

She looked up at him again. “Thank you.” She stayed in his arms until she fell asleep, when he carried her up to her bedroom. With a final kiss to her lips, he left.

[Katheryn Mae]

I love it dear. Just one question ...

“I’m going to start moving my things over to the spare room, all right?” he asked, and she nodded. “Edward,” he asked, turning to his cousin, “could I borrow your car?”

Isn't Edward Teddy's brother, not his cousin.You used both in this chapter. Otherwise I'm glad.

[dianahawthorne]

Edward is Teddy's cousin, not his brother. Thanks for catching that - I fixed it.

Glad you liked the chapter!