Hole in the Air

[idealrain]

This is so funny. Although what would fun is if Steven and Snape didn't get along. Update soon!!

[gmshed]

The two Snapes were yelling furiously.
Posy Sprout was sobbing quietly, comforted by her double. Apparently the reality of her situation had just hit home.
Mara Hooch was choking on her drink, Filius Flitwick was banging her back with a tiny fist.
Poppy Pomfrey was very pale, sitting very still. Hogwarts’ medi-witch was heaping an amount of sugar worthy of Albus Dumbledore into a cup of tea.
Minerva laid her head on the table, an oddly defeated gesture.
“Albus.” She thought “Help me. I can’t cope.”
She turned her head away from his empty chair and found Minnie’s head on the table next to her.
“I never told him.” She whispered.
Somehow Minerva heard her through the loud panicking around her.
Standing up, she roared “SHUT UP!”
Everyone was shocked into silence- nearly everyone.
“Jesus, I thought she could turn into a cat not a lion.” Mara muttered.
Minerva smiled tightly. “I am the Head of Gryffindor.”
That meant nothing to Mara.
Severus sneered “You should hear how the lioness roars to protect her precious cubs. Especially when she thinks the nasty Slytherins are being mean.”
Minerva ignored him. “Now I understand that you are all upset and worried. But panicking will not do anyone any good. Filius, will you give our guests a tour? Pomona, I’d like you to watch for the hole reappearing. Poppy, can you sort out the Room of Requirement for our guests? Severus, search the library for any record of this happening before please. I’ll go and ask the portraits.”
She hurried away, leaving Flitwick, the designated guide, to be bombarded by questions. Evil perhaps.

“Ah, Minerva. Good to see you. Albus isn’t here.”
“I am perfectly aware of that, Armando. He’s at Langely Wood.”
“Where?”
Minerva pushed her glasses up and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, trying not to cry. She had to be calm and organised; otherwise the lot of them would be running around like headless blast-ended skrewts. She still maintained that she had no intention of decapitating it. She was simply trying to trim her split ends, the creature surprised her and it got hit by the severing charm. And anyway, no creature so vile deserved so much mourning. Hagrid wouldn’t speak to her for weeks. Maybe he had wondered what she was doing trimming her split ends in front of his hut at dinner, when he and everyone else was up at the castle.
“Minerva?”
She took a deep breath. “It’s a long story, Armando. Did a hole ever appear in the grounds?”
Armando’s image frowned. “A hole? We had moles once.”
“No, I mean a hole in the air. A window. To another world.”
“Are you feeling all right, Minerva?”
“I’m fine. Have you?”
“Are you quite sure you shouldn’t see Poppy? You might be hallucinating-”
Something snapped. “Which Poppy? Poppy Pomfrey the Ravenclaw, Hogwarts medi-witch, my friend for fifty years or Poppy Pomfrey, Muggle Nurse from Langely Wood? Am I hallucinating her? And Posy? And Mara? And Steven? And Minnie? Or the fact that the hole sealed and my husband and one of my best friends was on the other side? I AM NOT HALLUCINATING! ALBUS AND XIOMARA ARE GONE! AND XIOMARA’S DOUBLE, MY DOUBLE, POPPY’S DOUBLE, POMONA’S DOUBLE AND SEVERUS’ DOUBLE ARE TRAPPED HERE! THE STUDENTS COME BACK IN A WEEK AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO SORT THIS MESS OUT! I WANT TO KNOW IF I AM EVER GOING TO SEE MY HUSBAND AGAIN!”
Her rant had woken all the portraits. Most looked shocked and/or scared.
“Has she stopped? Maybe I can get some sleep around here.” Phineas Nigellus drawled. “I always thought over-educated females were dangerous. Their brains overheat, you know.”
If Minerva’s glare had been an Incendio spell, he would have been ash in a second.
She dropped heavily into the Headmaster’s chair. So much for calm and organised.
I want chocolate.
Poppy came through the door with a jug that trailed a chocolaty aroma.
“The Room of Requirement is all sorted.” Poppy set the jug down on the desk, accidentally-on-purpose slopping the hot chocolate over the latest missive from the Ministry. “They’ve all got their own rooms, with en-suite bathrooms. And they seem to be decorated and furnished to their tastes. I wonder how similar our doubles are to us. Steven’s room is a dark, bare place. Did you know your double likes to read cheap romance novels?”
Minerva blushed. Thank Merlin for calm, organised Poppy Pomfrey.

“These are the House hourglasses. They register the amount of points each House has. Points are earned by good work and winning Quidditch matches.” That was as much as he managed to say before the storm of questions broke. Each explanation he gave just seemed to raise more questions. He spent at least an hour standing there, explaining Quidditch, the Sorting, the Sorting Hat (twice), the Founders, purebloods, halfbloods and muggleborns and the wizards retreat.
He managed to get them moving just as Posy Sprout opened her mouth. He resisted the urge to whack them over the head with copies of Hogwarts: A History. It wasn’t their fault, of course they were curious. That didn’t stop him wanting to strangle them though. Thanks a lot, Minerva.

Severus closed the book and placed it on the growing no-help-at-all pile of books. His eyelids were growing heavy. He took a small sip of the refreshing potion he had brewed earlier, guessing he was in for the long haul. Thank Merlin for the absence of Irma Pince. She might have been some use finding the right book, but then no potions. They might even have had to put up with her double. Severus shuddered. His own was bad enough. No sense of stylish intimidation at all. Just plain nastiness. A definite lack of billowing robes. He picked another book of the still massive haven’t-looked-yet-but-will-probably-be-another-waste-of-time pile and opened it.

Pomona slumped back in her conjured wreck of a chair. It fell to pieces and left her sprawled on the ground. She’d never been that good at wandwork. She swept the pieces to one side and sat on the ground. At least it had given her a break. Her eyes had become to drift, cross or go fuzzy. It was hard looking at one spot in the dark. The lantern didn’t help much. Pomona picked a blade of grass and practised focusing on the glass blade then on the spot in the air. It might entertain her for a few minutes.

A few feet and a world away from Pomona, Albus and Xiomara stared at the same spot.

[furandfeathers]

Oh, they ARE going to get back, aren't they? Update soon, this is great!

*

[Tabby67]

AAK!! - ness...They WILL return....Right?? *gets crutch read for beating* Nah, I'm not a violent one. But I do want you to update soon. *puppy eyes* I'm hurt from my car wreck. I need a cheering up story. ;D

Oh, and I [heart] Severus' reaction to the double of Irma Pince. LoL...That would have been hilarious.

This is marvtaculously SPANKTACULOUS!!! (Very wonderfully good - in normal languag. )

Update soon!!

~Branda~

[beMMADfabulous]

Aww! *pouts* I hope they come back soon! Great update. ;D

[Jessabelle]

Good update. I love how Min delegates!
- Jess

[kankulex]

goldfishmemoir said:

No sense of stylish intimidation at all. Just plain nastiness. A definite lack of billowing robes.

I LOVE that line... Imagine two snapes.. Yay! *shudder* but two Minervas and Albus' are quite alright of course if Minnie tells her Albus how she feels
Wonderful update, looking forward to more!

[FireBird]

This is quite interesting. Poor Filius, I hope the visitors have finally understood Hogwarts.
Are you going to give us Albus' and Xioamara's POV next? I'd love to see what they're doing.

[angeldust]

Oh I love this it's hilarious! I loved Snapes line about the 'mean nasty slytherins '

[osusprinks]

Oh I just found this story! You have to update! I need to know what is going to happen! And Andrew and Minnie have to get together! This is just too good! Update update update

[childminerva]

"I always thought over-educated females were dangerous."
ha! great line there...we are you know.
I love this fic, I just found it and I hope you update it soon!

[pinkie]

How in the world did I miss this! I adore fics like this! And this one is goooooooooooooooood!

Loving every sentence and I really hope you will update soon: let the MMADness run free!!!

[gmshed]

A/N: I'm alive! I don't think I've been around for a month or so...life is hectic at the moment. Anyway, this is just a short update while I try to pick up where I left off.

Albus woke up and briefly wondered why he had spent the night in his chair without Minerva moving him and why the chair was quite so hard and cold. Before his mind had quite resolved the problem, he made the mistake of opening his eyes. He was confronted by the sleeping face of Xiomara Hooch. His subsequent yelp of surprise, the clatter of his chair as he overbalanced and his subsequent yelp of pain was quite enough to wake Xiomara and Andrew, also slumped in chairs with blankets covering them.
“Do you always wake up so noisily?” Xiomara growled, never at her best in the morning. A night spent in a plastic chair in a school playground in a parallel universe exaggerated the condition somewhat. “I pity Minerva.”
Andrew blinked at the two of them somewhat blearily. “Oh, you’re still here. I was hoping I’d dreamt it.”
“You and me both,” Xiomara muttered, “Do you have anything to eat in this place?”
“There might be some biscuits in the staff room.”
Albus, struck by a sudden fear, began to search frantically through his robes.
“Biscuits? For breakfast?”
“They’re not stale. They’re chocolate digestives. And I don’t know what you two drink…”
Xiomara perked up considerably.
“…but I really need some hot sweet tea.”
Xiomara opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by Albus.
“I have no lemon drops!”

Minerva investigated the plaintive cry for help and found Posy Sprout stuck in the trick step.
“Minnie, thank goodness!”
“My name,” Minerva yanked her out with some effort, “is Minerva.”
Despite her best efforts, her tone clearly said “I am being very restrained, simply because you don’t know better, but call me that again and something unpleasant will happen.” Posy apologised.
They arrived at the Great Hall without further mishaps. Minnie, Mara, Frederick and Filus Flitwick, Poppy Pomfrey, Poppy Pomfrey, Pomona Sprout and Severus Snape sat at the table, already helping themselves from the dishes laid in front of them.
“Where’s Steven, Mara?”
“Yes, that’s a good question.” Minerva eyed Severus closely who appeared supremely unconcerned. “Where is Steven, Severus?”
“Why should I know? Just because he bears a slight physical resemblance to me doesn’t make me his nursemaid. The idiot probably got lost.”
The idiot in question, with impeccable timing, chose that moment to crash through the doors. His borrowed robes were covered in a variety of food stains. Dobby chased after him, holding out a tray of éclairs.
“Professor Snape, sir, has Dobby done something wrong? Dobby is very sorry, sir, Dobby only wanted to ask Professor Snape if he wanted anything.”
“Get away from me!” Steven Snape flailed wildly in Dobby’s direction and somehow managed to trip over the robes and fall flat.
Everyone else found this slightly amusing.

[osusprinks]

That was hilarious! Poor Albus. Waking up with Xiomara must have made him wonder what was going on. lol I loved Steven and Dobby! I can't wait to see what's next! Thanks for sharing!

[beMMADfabulous]

Yay, an update! Wonderful job. Poor Albus. He has no lemon drops. *pouts* hehe

[pinkie]

Imagine: no lemon drops...
Imagine: eclair staines on your robes
Imagine: Dobby running after you

Imagine: me laughing so hard my colleagues think I am insane!

[laundry basket]

ha! This is a wonderful story! ;D

[DaBao]

My goodness... UPDATE!!! Soon, I'm dying to know what's next!
This is such a good story, and it's keeping at the edge of my seat. I'm laughing a lot, I know think my realtives think I'm insane.

[childminerva]

Leave it to Albus to worry more about his lemon drops than getting back to Minerva...and the Steven part was hilarious, thanks for the update!

[Drake]

GASP! Albus stuck in a parallel universe with NO LEMON DROPS AT ALL?

That's unholy.

[tabbykit]

Minerva looked shocked. “Oh no, Severus. Blackmail is a dirty Slytherin word. Gryffindors only persuade.”

This is my favorite line by FAR! Keep going please!

[dianahawthorne]

this reminds me of the book series "His Dark Materials" by Philip Pullman. Have you read them? They are excellent! Great job so far and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

[sonataeternal]

this is excelent, amazing, just pure talent

[bruniges6]

You really should carry on this story it had me hooked and then it abruptly stopped

[mmadfanatic]

I pride myself on reading almost every humorous stories, yet I can't believe I missed this one. Had me LOL in my mind, so please, I'm begging you, continue!!!

[Uhura]

That horrible moment when you start reading an old story, and it's great, but... had no end! NOOOOOO!