Post by Kalex on Apr 11, 2005 3:39:05 GMT -5
Dedicated to Karlie, the most beautiful woman in my world.
Winners and Losers
Minerva stared out over the grounds of Hogwarts looking for any sign of Albus. The Order meeting ended over an hour ago and he had not arrived yet. She chewed on her lower lip as her eyes tried to glimpse an owl flying in the darkened skies.
She was still banned from any and all Order activities until Albus deemed her fit for duty. He had allowed her to finish her duties as Deputy Headmistress after she insisted she would not have been released from St. Mungos if she weren’t fit but he had pulled rank on Order activities and she found herself worrying over his safety several times a week.
Four stunners to the chest and she was out of commission until he deemed her recovered from last springs debacle. When had the tables turned and she became the protected and he the protector? She had looked after him for years and aided him in every possible way imaginable but now he was watching over her. He was helping her complete her duties. He was the rock she leaned on when she was tired.
Minerva moved to the couch and took a seat. Staring out the window was useless as he would more than likely floo back to his office. She leaned back against a pillow and lost herself in her memories of her life with Albus.
She didn’t remember hearing his name while she was a student at Hogwarts. Along with her best friend, Jocelyn, most of their days were spent learning and practicing spells. Quidditch filled most of their free time and weekends in Hogsmeade rounded out the rest of her free time.
Student Minerva was headstrong and bold, passionate and kind, studious and mischievous. Jocelyn was even braver than she and Minerva gladly accompanied her on their adventures through the castle. For six years Minerva readily stood her ground beside Jocelyn against bullies. Jocelyn was the perfect friend. She was quick to lend a hand and even quicker to defend you. Minerva’s lonely life was finally filled with giggles and smiles and secrets shared with her best friend.
By the end of sixth year Minerva expected Jocelyn to return to Hogwarts as an adult ready to leave Hogwarts in a blaze of glory. Minerva was anxious to finish school and move on to the university. She was unsure of her career choice, even then, but she was definitely going to write. Jocelyn was a natural writer and the two of them decided a career in journalism possibly might be for them.
It wasn’t until seventh year that Minerva realized their roles had changed. Surprisingly she had been named Head girl. She had become the leader and Jocelyn the follower.
The day before the leaving feast they sat on their beds in the Gryffindor seventh year girls’ dorm room.
“Jocelyn, are you sure you want to get married right away? You don’t have to do it immediately.”
Jocelyn’s eyes had lowered and she blinked away tears before looking at Minerva. “He loves me, Minerva. I never thought anyone would.”
Those simple words had touched Minerva deeply. She had spent a lonely childhood wondering why her parents bothered having her if they didn’t care to have her around. She had turned away from Jocelyn then. She felt like crying. Was this the price you had to pay for someone to love you? Did you have to give up your dreams? She didn’t want this new Jocelyn that felt loved. She wanted the old Jocelyn that cursed up a storm and was ready to march into the world and set it on fire.
Minerva had gone to Jocelyn’s wedding a week later and stared as the one true friend she had in the world marched down the aisle. Jocelyn appeared smaller, almost frail and Minerva wanted to shout at her to follow her dreams but she remained quiet.
Jocelyn wouldn’t join her at the university. They weren’t going to be roommates sharing a flat in muggle London. A year later, Jocelyn was with child and making plans to furnish the nursery. Her dreams of becoming a writer set aside. Jocelyn’s promises to keep in touch were slowly broken.
Three years later Minerva was preparing to leave again, this time the university. She was being pushed into the world, ready or not. She had majored in Transfigurations and the papers she wrote on the subject were hailed by most of the renowned Professors of her chosen field. That was how she met Albus Dumbledore.
The handsome and charming Albus had requested her presence at a conference and within a week they were old friends.
Unfortunately the war encroached on their happiness and Minerva found herself saying goodbye to her dearest friend once again.
“Minerva, I’ll return. I promise. I’ll come back and we’ll be together. I have to do this.” Albus pleaded with his eyes for her to understand. He knew the loneliness she felt. He knew her fears, her joys.
Minerva nodded. She understood. As much as she wanted to tell him to stay, don’t go. She couldn’t. For all the power pulling them together, there was another force pulling them apart. Like a pair of migratory birds, they could feel the urgings, a signal telling them there were places to go, things to do, and there was an answer to find.
Minerva had gone with him to the platform in Hogsmeade to see him off. She had been surprised at his kiss goodbye. It was the first they had ever shared and it was filled with passion and promises. She watched the train leave but she didn’t cry. Some things hurt too deeply for tears.
She walked home passing by Hogwarts as she did so and was surprised to find the school appeared diminished. She remembered thinking the school so huge. Had it shrunk? She stared at the castle and remembered classmates and professors that shared seven years of her life.
She took in a deep breath. A new era was dawning. She could feel it and she wondered if she was ready for it. The empty castle was a remnant of her past. The school had prepared her for the world. It had taught her that the world was larger than the castle and taught her the tools of survival but what of the others?
Minerva rose from the couch to end her reverie. Albus had returned from the battlefield. He had returned to her and that’s what mattered. She had learned later that Jocelyn and her husband had supported Grindelwald during the war and it had saddened her. What had become of the girl that burned the candle at both ends? Albus had destroyed their hopes and Minerva’s childhood friend suffered a fate worse than death. Her soul was robbed by a dementor’s kiss and Minerva couldn’t stop wondering if it was Jocelyn’s beliefs or if she was simply following her husband.
The quiet opening of the door signaled Albus’ entry and Minerva hastily wiped her face.
“Jocelyn?” He asked as he took Minerva in his arms. She nodded her head and buried it deeply into his neck. He rubbed her back soothingly and placed kisses in her hair.
“She had been so strong.”
“You are not Jocelyn. You are strong, Minerva.” He moved away to look into her eyes. He supported her head with both of his hands and spoke softly.
“You are my world. I love you and you love me back. I will not leave you.” He led her to the couch and settled beside her. “I never thought anyone would love me.”
Winners and Losers
Minerva stared out over the grounds of Hogwarts looking for any sign of Albus. The Order meeting ended over an hour ago and he had not arrived yet. She chewed on her lower lip as her eyes tried to glimpse an owl flying in the darkened skies.
She was still banned from any and all Order activities until Albus deemed her fit for duty. He had allowed her to finish her duties as Deputy Headmistress after she insisted she would not have been released from St. Mungos if she weren’t fit but he had pulled rank on Order activities and she found herself worrying over his safety several times a week.
Four stunners to the chest and she was out of commission until he deemed her recovered from last springs debacle. When had the tables turned and she became the protected and he the protector? She had looked after him for years and aided him in every possible way imaginable but now he was watching over her. He was helping her complete her duties. He was the rock she leaned on when she was tired.
Minerva moved to the couch and took a seat. Staring out the window was useless as he would more than likely floo back to his office. She leaned back against a pillow and lost herself in her memories of her life with Albus.
She didn’t remember hearing his name while she was a student at Hogwarts. Along with her best friend, Jocelyn, most of their days were spent learning and practicing spells. Quidditch filled most of their free time and weekends in Hogsmeade rounded out the rest of her free time.
Student Minerva was headstrong and bold, passionate and kind, studious and mischievous. Jocelyn was even braver than she and Minerva gladly accompanied her on their adventures through the castle. For six years Minerva readily stood her ground beside Jocelyn against bullies. Jocelyn was the perfect friend. She was quick to lend a hand and even quicker to defend you. Minerva’s lonely life was finally filled with giggles and smiles and secrets shared with her best friend.
By the end of sixth year Minerva expected Jocelyn to return to Hogwarts as an adult ready to leave Hogwarts in a blaze of glory. Minerva was anxious to finish school and move on to the university. She was unsure of her career choice, even then, but she was definitely going to write. Jocelyn was a natural writer and the two of them decided a career in journalism possibly might be for them.
It wasn’t until seventh year that Minerva realized their roles had changed. Surprisingly she had been named Head girl. She had become the leader and Jocelyn the follower.
The day before the leaving feast they sat on their beds in the Gryffindor seventh year girls’ dorm room.
“Jocelyn, are you sure you want to get married right away? You don’t have to do it immediately.”
Jocelyn’s eyes had lowered and she blinked away tears before looking at Minerva. “He loves me, Minerva. I never thought anyone would.”
Those simple words had touched Minerva deeply. She had spent a lonely childhood wondering why her parents bothered having her if they didn’t care to have her around. She had turned away from Jocelyn then. She felt like crying. Was this the price you had to pay for someone to love you? Did you have to give up your dreams? She didn’t want this new Jocelyn that felt loved. She wanted the old Jocelyn that cursed up a storm and was ready to march into the world and set it on fire.
Minerva had gone to Jocelyn’s wedding a week later and stared as the one true friend she had in the world marched down the aisle. Jocelyn appeared smaller, almost frail and Minerva wanted to shout at her to follow her dreams but she remained quiet.
Jocelyn wouldn’t join her at the university. They weren’t going to be roommates sharing a flat in muggle London. A year later, Jocelyn was with child and making plans to furnish the nursery. Her dreams of becoming a writer set aside. Jocelyn’s promises to keep in touch were slowly broken.
Three years later Minerva was preparing to leave again, this time the university. She was being pushed into the world, ready or not. She had majored in Transfigurations and the papers she wrote on the subject were hailed by most of the renowned Professors of her chosen field. That was how she met Albus Dumbledore.
The handsome and charming Albus had requested her presence at a conference and within a week they were old friends.
Unfortunately the war encroached on their happiness and Minerva found herself saying goodbye to her dearest friend once again.
“Minerva, I’ll return. I promise. I’ll come back and we’ll be together. I have to do this.” Albus pleaded with his eyes for her to understand. He knew the loneliness she felt. He knew her fears, her joys.
Minerva nodded. She understood. As much as she wanted to tell him to stay, don’t go. She couldn’t. For all the power pulling them together, there was another force pulling them apart. Like a pair of migratory birds, they could feel the urgings, a signal telling them there were places to go, things to do, and there was an answer to find.
Minerva had gone with him to the platform in Hogsmeade to see him off. She had been surprised at his kiss goodbye. It was the first they had ever shared and it was filled with passion and promises. She watched the train leave but she didn’t cry. Some things hurt too deeply for tears.
She walked home passing by Hogwarts as she did so and was surprised to find the school appeared diminished. She remembered thinking the school so huge. Had it shrunk? She stared at the castle and remembered classmates and professors that shared seven years of her life.
She took in a deep breath. A new era was dawning. She could feel it and she wondered if she was ready for it. The empty castle was a remnant of her past. The school had prepared her for the world. It had taught her that the world was larger than the castle and taught her the tools of survival but what of the others?
Minerva rose from the couch to end her reverie. Albus had returned from the battlefield. He had returned to her and that’s what mattered. She had learned later that Jocelyn and her husband had supported Grindelwald during the war and it had saddened her. What had become of the girl that burned the candle at both ends? Albus had destroyed their hopes and Minerva’s childhood friend suffered a fate worse than death. Her soul was robbed by a dementor’s kiss and Minerva couldn’t stop wondering if it was Jocelyn’s beliefs or if she was simply following her husband.
The quiet opening of the door signaled Albus’ entry and Minerva hastily wiped her face.
“Jocelyn?” He asked as he took Minerva in his arms. She nodded her head and buried it deeply into his neck. He rubbed her back soothingly and placed kisses in her hair.
“She had been so strong.”
“You are not Jocelyn. You are strong, Minerva.” He moved away to look into her eyes. He supported her head with both of his hands and spoke softly.
“You are my world. I love you and you love me back. I will not leave you.” He led her to the couch and settled beside her. “I never thought anyone would love me.”
Like Krys I can't help but wonder what the message is so I will have to ponder awhile also. Kandie
I'm glad you were able to write something before you joined the workforce again. Kim
