Post by Alesia on Aug 5, 2005 22:30:03 GMT -5
Well I hope this doesn't suck. It was my first attempt at some bits of humor. And of course there is a tad bit of tart at the end.
“…Minerva, go and head her off – tell her any story – “
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (US Hardcover, page 474)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
‘”Tell her any story,” how ironic,’ she thought with a snort. If the situation hadn’t been so desperate she would have laughed at the thought of all there was to tell.
As the staircase transcended down from the Headmaster’s office, the truly random and somewhat dangerous truths she was privy to flitted through her brain. Being known as trustworthy, dependable, and somewhat cold had, over the course of her life, provided her with the opportunity to be not only a confidante but a Secret Keeper of many people and things. The juiciest stories and secrets, of course, were the ones concerning herself and those chosen few she shared a personal life with. These tabloid secrets surfaced with a fury.
‘Let’s see, I could tell her the story of why I have over the last two years been given fourteen matching bra and panty sets ranging from tartan to purple to Gryffindor stripes to a racy black. Or I could tell her about how I discovered the lake is best enjoyed completely starkers in the moonlight. Or how about the tale behind why all the other female professors and I met in Greenhouse Three the first Saturday night of last month to get drunk on tequila? What would she think if I told her I have a beautiful daughter who once dated Bill Weasley during their seventh year at Hogwarts? And of course, there is my most lusciously scandalous story of all…’
Just as her mind’s eye envisioned her most trusted secret - a smile erupted on her face and a twinkle appeared in her eye, the gargoyle slid open. There stood Hogwarts’ Head Inquisitor. Minerva thanked her namesake Dolores Umbridge wasn’t skilled in Legilimency, for her most precious secret was virtually written across her face.
Swallowing hard and preparing to stand her ground, Minerva spoke. “Good evening, Professor Umbridge. What has you out and about this late in the evening?” Minerva hadn’t moved off of the stairs. Squarely in the path of the determined toad, Minerva felt herself plant her feet and prepare to physically block her stockier opponent if necessary.
“I could certainly ask you the same question, <i>Professor</i> McGonagall.” Minerva's title slid from the toad-like mouth with unmistakable contempt.
“I am surprised, Dolores, I would have thought you were aware cats are very nocturnal creatures. I often find I accomplish more marking in the dead of night than any other time. How about you?” Minerva hoped she didn’t sound as defensive as she felt.
“’Marking’ essays in the Headmaster’s office were you? Wouldn’t be hustling some of your precious cubs around after curfew would you?” Squinting at Minerva, Dolores appeared as if she was inspecting a fly before snatching it at with her tongue.
Incensed, Minerva wasn’t sure which accusation required a response first; that there was something between her and Albus or that she would help her Gryffindors break the rules. Putting on the most innocent face she could muster, Minerva responded with a tone of surprise.
“Are there students out of bed? Where? We must go find them, Dolores, surely. Who saw them? Were they by the painting of the fruit bowl? We should find Mrs. Norris. She has a real knack for spotting students out of bed.” Minerva stepped off the landing in hopes of redirecting the toad toward the imaginary fly. The toad remained stuck to her spot.
“I am much more concerned about <i>why you, Minerva</i>, would be coming down from the <i>Headmaster’s office </i>in <i>your nightclothes </i>at this hour!” Dolores put her emphasis in all the right places making it crystal clear to Minerva; the toad wasn’t about to let this particular fly go free.
“Actually, <i>Dolores</i>, I wasn’t in the Headmaster’s office. There are some papers, which will require his attention first thing in the morning.” Minerva’s natural Scottish brogue escaped as her ire stirred. “I simply slid them under the door. I highly doubt the Headmaster is still awake at this hour.” Minerva was desperately hoping Albus wasn’t coming down the stairs at any moment, getting caught in a lie to the ‘High Inquisitor’ wasn’t an experience she wished to have.
“Well, you must understand, <i>Professor</i>, as High Inquisitor it is <i>my duty </i>to verify all of the comings and goings here at the school, <i>even yours</i>!” The Toad moved to push her way past Minerva. Minerva braced. Slowly a familiar warm hand slid against the small of Minerva’s back, while another equally known hand moved to her shoulder pulling her out of the Toad’s way. Umbridge pranced past Minerva on her way up to the now empty office, a look of knowing superiority on her toad-like face.
Minerva simply turned around, exiting the stairwell. The hand remained on the small of her back. She could feel some of the tension ebbing from her body the nearer she got to her rooms.
“Knight’s Tabby” the painting slid aside and the door to her rooms opened. Stepping inside two steps, she turned to see what appeared to be the door closing itself. Albus materialized while scooping her into his arms for a deep searing kiss.
“Thank you, my dear. I didn’t know you could lie well under pressure.” A small smile graced his lips and his eyes.
“How is Arthur, Albus?” her voice full of concern and pent up emotions.
“Found and in St Mungo’s is all I know, my love. I am sure Molly will owl as soon as there is more news. The children are safely ensconced with Sirius at Grimmauld Place.” The hollow look in his eyes showed her how close to despair he was.
Placing her hands on his cheeks, Minerva guided his face toward hers, he wouldn’t meet her eyes. Her voice was a quiet whisper. Minerva’s breath on his face set a fire ablaze within him. She spoke the thoughts in his mind as her finger traced the gentle outline of his aging face.
“Albus, we are at War. We all know there are risks. We got to Arthur in time. He is young and strong. He will be alright.” Her eyes met his, projecting all of the love and desire she felt for him, her mouth drawing up in a smirk. “Come, love, come back to bed and let me remind you why we fight.”
Albus chuckled. “Alas, my dear, I fear someday someone is going to discover why I am always awake and in my office after the students come to get you out of bed during a crisis.” She flashed him a broad smile reserved just for him.
“It won’t be the passage you had the castle create from our bedroom to the back of your office would it?"
He laughed. “Perhaps, that and the fact I can’t sleep without you in my arms.” Picking her up, he carried her to their bedroom to be thoroughly reminded why they fought and why he loved his wife.
The End
AN2: I should never post anything in the middle of the night. I have gone back, now that I am awake, and made some grammer corrections.
“…Minerva, go and head her off – tell her any story – “
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (US Hardcover, page 474)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
‘”Tell her any story,” how ironic,’ she thought with a snort. If the situation hadn’t been so desperate she would have laughed at the thought of all there was to tell.
As the staircase transcended down from the Headmaster’s office, the truly random and somewhat dangerous truths she was privy to flitted through her brain. Being known as trustworthy, dependable, and somewhat cold had, over the course of her life, provided her with the opportunity to be not only a confidante but a Secret Keeper of many people and things. The juiciest stories and secrets, of course, were the ones concerning herself and those chosen few she shared a personal life with. These tabloid secrets surfaced with a fury.
‘Let’s see, I could tell her the story of why I have over the last two years been given fourteen matching bra and panty sets ranging from tartan to purple to Gryffindor stripes to a racy black. Or I could tell her about how I discovered the lake is best enjoyed completely starkers in the moonlight. Or how about the tale behind why all the other female professors and I met in Greenhouse Three the first Saturday night of last month to get drunk on tequila? What would she think if I told her I have a beautiful daughter who once dated Bill Weasley during their seventh year at Hogwarts? And of course, there is my most lusciously scandalous story of all…’
Just as her mind’s eye envisioned her most trusted secret - a smile erupted on her face and a twinkle appeared in her eye, the gargoyle slid open. There stood Hogwarts’ Head Inquisitor. Minerva thanked her namesake Dolores Umbridge wasn’t skilled in Legilimency, for her most precious secret was virtually written across her face.
Swallowing hard and preparing to stand her ground, Minerva spoke. “Good evening, Professor Umbridge. What has you out and about this late in the evening?” Minerva hadn’t moved off of the stairs. Squarely in the path of the determined toad, Minerva felt herself plant her feet and prepare to physically block her stockier opponent if necessary.
“I could certainly ask you the same question, <i>Professor</i> McGonagall.” Minerva's title slid from the toad-like mouth with unmistakable contempt.
“I am surprised, Dolores, I would have thought you were aware cats are very nocturnal creatures. I often find I accomplish more marking in the dead of night than any other time. How about you?” Minerva hoped she didn’t sound as defensive as she felt.
“’Marking’ essays in the Headmaster’s office were you? Wouldn’t be hustling some of your precious cubs around after curfew would you?” Squinting at Minerva, Dolores appeared as if she was inspecting a fly before snatching it at with her tongue.
Incensed, Minerva wasn’t sure which accusation required a response first; that there was something between her and Albus or that she would help her Gryffindors break the rules. Putting on the most innocent face she could muster, Minerva responded with a tone of surprise.
“Are there students out of bed? Where? We must go find them, Dolores, surely. Who saw them? Were they by the painting of the fruit bowl? We should find Mrs. Norris. She has a real knack for spotting students out of bed.” Minerva stepped off the landing in hopes of redirecting the toad toward the imaginary fly. The toad remained stuck to her spot.
“I am much more concerned about <i>why you, Minerva</i>, would be coming down from the <i>Headmaster’s office </i>in <i>your nightclothes </i>at this hour!” Dolores put her emphasis in all the right places making it crystal clear to Minerva; the toad wasn’t about to let this particular fly go free.
“Actually, <i>Dolores</i>, I wasn’t in the Headmaster’s office. There are some papers, which will require his attention first thing in the morning.” Minerva’s natural Scottish brogue escaped as her ire stirred. “I simply slid them under the door. I highly doubt the Headmaster is still awake at this hour.” Minerva was desperately hoping Albus wasn’t coming down the stairs at any moment, getting caught in a lie to the ‘High Inquisitor’ wasn’t an experience she wished to have.
“Well, you must understand, <i>Professor</i>, as High Inquisitor it is <i>my duty </i>to verify all of the comings and goings here at the school, <i>even yours</i>!” The Toad moved to push her way past Minerva. Minerva braced. Slowly a familiar warm hand slid against the small of Minerva’s back, while another equally known hand moved to her shoulder pulling her out of the Toad’s way. Umbridge pranced past Minerva on her way up to the now empty office, a look of knowing superiority on her toad-like face.
Minerva simply turned around, exiting the stairwell. The hand remained on the small of her back. She could feel some of the tension ebbing from her body the nearer she got to her rooms.
“Knight’s Tabby” the painting slid aside and the door to her rooms opened. Stepping inside two steps, she turned to see what appeared to be the door closing itself. Albus materialized while scooping her into his arms for a deep searing kiss.
“Thank you, my dear. I didn’t know you could lie well under pressure.” A small smile graced his lips and his eyes.
“How is Arthur, Albus?” her voice full of concern and pent up emotions.
“Found and in St Mungo’s is all I know, my love. I am sure Molly will owl as soon as there is more news. The children are safely ensconced with Sirius at Grimmauld Place.” The hollow look in his eyes showed her how close to despair he was.
Placing her hands on his cheeks, Minerva guided his face toward hers, he wouldn’t meet her eyes. Her voice was a quiet whisper. Minerva’s breath on his face set a fire ablaze within him. She spoke the thoughts in his mind as her finger traced the gentle outline of his aging face.
“Albus, we are at War. We all know there are risks. We got to Arthur in time. He is young and strong. He will be alright.” Her eyes met his, projecting all of the love and desire she felt for him, her mouth drawing up in a smirk. “Come, love, come back to bed and let me remind you why we fight.”
Albus chuckled. “Alas, my dear, I fear someday someone is going to discover why I am always awake and in my office after the students come to get you out of bed during a crisis.” She flashed him a broad smile reserved just for him.
“It won’t be the passage you had the castle create from our bedroom to the back of your office would it?"
He laughed. “Perhaps, that and the fact I can’t sleep without you in my arms.” Picking her up, he carried her to their bedroom to be thoroughly reminded why they fought and why he loved his wife.
The End
AN2: I should never post anything in the middle of the night. I have gone back, now that I am awake, and made some grammer corrections.
loved Minerva thoughts as she was walking down and all her attempts to head her off hehe ;D
