Post by idealrain on Aug 29, 2005 16:17:25 GMT -5
~The song is from Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie. I own nothing!!~
~hooch: Alcoholic liquor, especially inferior or bootleg liquor~
“Pass the Hooch”
It was lucky that the staff at Hogwarts could seal entrances with passwords. A wise professor a couple centuries ago added a soundproof charm. This was also very fortune, for Xiomara Zoe Hooch, despite the unanimous opinion of everyone who heard her singing that she should avoid the activity, was singing. Not just singing but drunken singing. Her dearest friends, Minerva, Poppy and Pomona were five seconds away from hexing her.
“…So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long and thanks for all the fish
If I had just one last wish
I would like a tasty fish
If we could just change one thing
we would all have learned to sing….”
I wish she would.” Minerva murmured.
“Do you think we should cut her off of the margaritas?” Pomona wondered, amused by the entrainment.
“…So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long and thanks for all the fish…..” Xiomara finished with grand hand gestures.
“You know for someone named ‘Hooch’ she can’t hold her liquor.” Poppy pointed out the great irony. All three witches paused to ponder this great thought. One could even consider the thought deep. Especially taking account of the fact they were in Greenhouse number three, at two twenty- seven in the morning.
Footsteps were heard outside. Normally everything except for the dorms and hospital wing was off limits after hours. Even the Heads were to be contracted by floo first. This rule was created by Albus after Peter Pettigrew saw Albus getting more than a drunken kiss by his Deputy. Poor Peter was made to suffer by tasting lemon drops for weeks no matter what he ate.
Neville Longbottom couldn’t sleep. Since he saw what Snape would look like as a cross-dresser, horrific nightmares had plagued him. These nightmares were resisted to the usual dreamless drought, so Neville walked out to the greenhouse to work on a project he was helping Professor Sprout with.
He was just getting ready to enter greenhouse when an invisible hand grabbed him and pulled him down. To his horror Professor Snape was outside his hand placed over Neville’s mouth.
“Longbottom, are students allow out on the grounds at night after curfew?” Severus sneered.
“No-o sir. I-I-I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I would check on my extra projects. “ Neville stammered.
“Twenty points from Gryffindor. Well, what are you waiting for, an engraved invitation? Get back to the castle.”
Severus watched with satisfaction when Neville fled towards the castle.
Using an Extendible ear ( Severus had to use Hooch’s name to order), he lend into the crack of the greenhouse roof.
"Yah his hair maybe greasy but he is hung like a horse." A round of giggles greeted this drunken statement.
Thank you, Xiomara. You will be reward later. Severus smirked. With Colin Creevy’s camera, (he actually had to reward the brat five points) Severus muttered a quick slienting spelling and began shooting.
“Severus might be hung but let me tell you Albus’ tongue should be reward a First Class of Merlin by itself. Must be all the lemon drops he sucks…” Minerva’s voice trailed off.
Outside, Severus shuddered and began hitting his head, much like Dobby the house elf.
“Bad image, bad image. I feel the need to throw up.”
Through his nausea, he heard the witches cackled. Poppy suddenly stopped and became serious.
"Does the beard get in the way? It seems like it would scotch."
“It does sometimes but when he shaves it, the hair just grows back in six hours anyway. But sometimes for fun….”
Suddenly Severus heard footsteps behind him. Albus stood looking at the greenhouse.
“It’s a very wise decision to stand guard. I’m here because I know Minerva thinks out drink Poppy because she’s Scottish but really she almost as bad as Xiomara. Mina, are you almost done?” Albus cautiously poked his head into the greenhouse.
“ALBIE! My love, my knight in shinning armor. Come in. We’re having a party.”
“Mina, you’re drunk.”
“I’m not!”
“Really?”
“I’m just happy! Minerva Elizabeth McGonagall does not get drunk!”
“Mina, you are going to be so hung over tomorrow. The only Scot I know that can’t drink.”
“I can!” To prove her point, Minerva pulled Albus into a deep kiss.
“O.k. you can drink. But to prove it I need you to drink this wonderful sobering potion so your head doesn’t spilt open tomorrow.” Any kiss from Minerva was wonderful, but Albus preferred sober ones.
“It tastes like peppermints.” Minerva giggled. “If I kiss you now, you would taste like peppermint.”
Albus nodded. Minerva was so logical even when drunk.
“That’s right, dear. Severus, could you take care of Xiomara and I’ll send Hargid down for the rest.”
Severus nodded and picked up the lightweight formally known as Xiomara.
“I just love peppermints…”
Severus sighed. Spying on Voldemort was easier than working at Hogwarts.
~hooch: Alcoholic liquor, especially inferior or bootleg liquor~
“Pass the Hooch”
It was lucky that the staff at Hogwarts could seal entrances with passwords. A wise professor a couple centuries ago added a soundproof charm. This was also very fortune, for Xiomara Zoe Hooch, despite the unanimous opinion of everyone who heard her singing that she should avoid the activity, was singing. Not just singing but drunken singing. Her dearest friends, Minerva, Poppy and Pomona were five seconds away from hexing her.
“…So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long and thanks for all the fish
If I had just one last wish
I would like a tasty fish
If we could just change one thing
we would all have learned to sing….”
I wish she would.” Minerva murmured.
“Do you think we should cut her off of the margaritas?” Pomona wondered, amused by the entrainment.
“…So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long and thanks for all the fish…..” Xiomara finished with grand hand gestures.
“You know for someone named ‘Hooch’ she can’t hold her liquor.” Poppy pointed out the great irony. All three witches paused to ponder this great thought. One could even consider the thought deep. Especially taking account of the fact they were in Greenhouse number three, at two twenty- seven in the morning.
Footsteps were heard outside. Normally everything except for the dorms and hospital wing was off limits after hours. Even the Heads were to be contracted by floo first. This rule was created by Albus after Peter Pettigrew saw Albus getting more than a drunken kiss by his Deputy. Poor Peter was made to suffer by tasting lemon drops for weeks no matter what he ate.
Neville Longbottom couldn’t sleep. Since he saw what Snape would look like as a cross-dresser, horrific nightmares had plagued him. These nightmares were resisted to the usual dreamless drought, so Neville walked out to the greenhouse to work on a project he was helping Professor Sprout with.
He was just getting ready to enter greenhouse when an invisible hand grabbed him and pulled him down. To his horror Professor Snape was outside his hand placed over Neville’s mouth.
“Longbottom, are students allow out on the grounds at night after curfew?” Severus sneered.
“No-o sir. I-I-I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I would check on my extra projects. “ Neville stammered.
“Twenty points from Gryffindor. Well, what are you waiting for, an engraved invitation? Get back to the castle.”
Severus watched with satisfaction when Neville fled towards the castle.
Using an Extendible ear ( Severus had to use Hooch’s name to order), he lend into the crack of the greenhouse roof.
"Yah his hair maybe greasy but he is hung like a horse." A round of giggles greeted this drunken statement.
Thank you, Xiomara. You will be reward later. Severus smirked. With Colin Creevy’s camera, (he actually had to reward the brat five points) Severus muttered a quick slienting spelling and began shooting.
“Severus might be hung but let me tell you Albus’ tongue should be reward a First Class of Merlin by itself. Must be all the lemon drops he sucks…” Minerva’s voice trailed off.
Outside, Severus shuddered and began hitting his head, much like Dobby the house elf.
“Bad image, bad image. I feel the need to throw up.”
Through his nausea, he heard the witches cackled. Poppy suddenly stopped and became serious.
"Does the beard get in the way? It seems like it would scotch."
“It does sometimes but when he shaves it, the hair just grows back in six hours anyway. But sometimes for fun….”
Suddenly Severus heard footsteps behind him. Albus stood looking at the greenhouse.
“It’s a very wise decision to stand guard. I’m here because I know Minerva thinks out drink Poppy because she’s Scottish but really she almost as bad as Xiomara. Mina, are you almost done?” Albus cautiously poked his head into the greenhouse.
“ALBIE! My love, my knight in shinning armor. Come in. We’re having a party.”
“Mina, you’re drunk.”
“I’m not!”
“Really?”
“I’m just happy! Minerva Elizabeth McGonagall does not get drunk!”
“Mina, you are going to be so hung over tomorrow. The only Scot I know that can’t drink.”
“I can!” To prove her point, Minerva pulled Albus into a deep kiss.
“O.k. you can drink. But to prove it I need you to drink this wonderful sobering potion so your head doesn’t spilt open tomorrow.” Any kiss from Minerva was wonderful, but Albus preferred sober ones.
“It tastes like peppermints.” Minerva giggled. “If I kiss you now, you would taste like peppermint.”
Albus nodded. Minerva was so logical even when drunk.
“That’s right, dear. Severus, could you take care of Xiomara and I’ll send Hargid down for the rest.”
Severus nodded and picked up the lightweight formally known as Xiomara.
“I just love peppermints…”
Severus sighed. Spying on Voldemort was easier than working at Hogwarts.
