Post by Kegan on Sept 24, 2005 2:13:39 GMT -5
This is what happens when I’m in a chat with Kandie, Karmin, and Kelsey at two in the morning. We were reading plot bunnies and our conversation deteriorated but here’s my challenge response.
Warning: Innuendoes
Size Does Matter
“Albus, if you don’t stand still you will get a pin stuck in your bum,” scolded Minerva.
A tape measure and pincushion was flying around Albus, measuring various limbs and trying to obtain his exact measurements for the new robe Minerva was sewing.
Albus had come home from shopping in Diagon Alley thoroughly disappointed. None of the shops carried robes in what he considered fashionable colors and fabrics. It had been so long since he had new robes.
Minerva had offered to make him some new robes and he happily took her up on her generous offer.
“Minerva, I’ve been standing here for hours,” he whined as he shifted on his feet again.
Minerva sighed. Three year olds could stand still longer than Albus. “It’s only been ten minutes, Albus. Now please stand still just a few minutes longer.”
“You didn’t tell me it would take so long,” he complained.
“You didn’t inform me that you had such big feet either. Your robe needs to be wide enough to meet your foot before your toes or it will look like a gown,” she explained patiently. “I have never seen such long toes before.”
Albus wiggled his toes. “You know what they say about men with long toes…” he smiled suggestively.
Minerva lifted her head. “No, what do they say?”
“Er…um…” stammered Albus uncertainly. He thought she had heard the saying. “The same things they say about men with long noses.” He smiled in relief.
Minerva stared at him curiously. “Your nose is certainly long,” she commented offhandedly. “You pack a long wand too.” She began cutting material and missed the look on his face.
“You sound impressed,” he said smugly.
“I am. Most people don’t know how to handle a wand properly but you seem pretty capable.” She paused to pick up some pins and began sticking them on the edges of the fabric. “I’ve handled a few wands in my day and I must say I prefer long ones.”
Albus puffed his chest out and beamed.
“Have you compared your wand to others?” she asked.
Albus’ stature deflated. He wasn’t sure what he should say but Minerva kept speaking.
“I know most men are quick to pull it out just to show off. I hope you aren’t one of those?” She narrowed her eyes at his flushed face. “When I was younger seven and eight inch wands were the norm but now everyone is bragging about ten and eleven inch wands.”
“Are you feeling okay, Albus?”
“I just need some water…and to rest for a few minutes. Could we finish this later?”
“Certainly, Albus, I’ll see you after dinner.” Minerva began gathering her sewing things and putting them in her sewing basket. She assured him she would return at eight that very evening and left his quarters.
I couldn’t resist since so many men seem to think with their “wands”.
Warning: Innuendoes
Size Does Matter
“Albus, if you don’t stand still you will get a pin stuck in your bum,” scolded Minerva.
A tape measure and pincushion was flying around Albus, measuring various limbs and trying to obtain his exact measurements for the new robe Minerva was sewing.
Albus had come home from shopping in Diagon Alley thoroughly disappointed. None of the shops carried robes in what he considered fashionable colors and fabrics. It had been so long since he had new robes.
Minerva had offered to make him some new robes and he happily took her up on her generous offer.
“Minerva, I’ve been standing here for hours,” he whined as he shifted on his feet again.
Minerva sighed. Three year olds could stand still longer than Albus. “It’s only been ten minutes, Albus. Now please stand still just a few minutes longer.”
“You didn’t tell me it would take so long,” he complained.
“You didn’t inform me that you had such big feet either. Your robe needs to be wide enough to meet your foot before your toes or it will look like a gown,” she explained patiently. “I have never seen such long toes before.”
Albus wiggled his toes. “You know what they say about men with long toes…” he smiled suggestively.
Minerva lifted her head. “No, what do they say?”
“Er…um…” stammered Albus uncertainly. He thought she had heard the saying. “The same things they say about men with long noses.” He smiled in relief.
Minerva stared at him curiously. “Your nose is certainly long,” she commented offhandedly. “You pack a long wand too.” She began cutting material and missed the look on his face.
“You sound impressed,” he said smugly.
“I am. Most people don’t know how to handle a wand properly but you seem pretty capable.” She paused to pick up some pins and began sticking them on the edges of the fabric. “I’ve handled a few wands in my day and I must say I prefer long ones.”
Albus puffed his chest out and beamed.
“Have you compared your wand to others?” she asked.
Albus’ stature deflated. He wasn’t sure what he should say but Minerva kept speaking.
“I know most men are quick to pull it out just to show off. I hope you aren’t one of those?” She narrowed her eyes at his flushed face. “When I was younger seven and eight inch wands were the norm but now everyone is bragging about ten and eleven inch wands.”
“Are you feeling okay, Albus?”
“I just need some water…and to rest for a few minutes. Could we finish this later?”
“Certainly, Albus, I’ll see you after dinner.” Minerva began gathering her sewing things and putting them in her sewing basket. She assured him she would return at eight that very evening and left his quarters.
I couldn’t resist since so many men seem to think with their “wands”.
