Post by ginger newts on Dec 10, 2004 21:02:36 GMT -5
Okay, Sensiblyquirky has been after me to write another Designing Women based story so here goes. It's inspired by an episode from the first season with the same title and I had originally intended it to go in the humor section but I'm not sure it's all that funny, so you tell me. Also, the style is inspired in part by Chapter 21 of Thomas Harris' Hannibal and I'd like some honest feedback on that. All that said here's the beginning....
I Do, I Don't
There exists, in the mountains of Scotland, a very curious establishment. A large castle that has survived over one-thousand years of wars and change and stands today just as strong and proud as the day it was first erected. Within these ancient stone walls pulses the life of a school; over one-thousand students and teachers reside here from September to June each year, practicing the age old tradition of magical education. Not everyone can see the grand castle which houses Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with its tall towers, flagged stone floors, and vaulted ceilings, but luckily today we are among the privileged few for it is here where our story begins.
The headmaster of the prestigious institution is a man named Albus Dumbledore. He is a wise and eccentric wizard, well over one-hundred years old, but with the spirit and energy of his students. His long white, almost silver, hair and beard and the ever present half-moon spectacles perched on his long crooked nose are the only signs of his age. For the last year, Albus Dumbledore has been courting his deputy headmistress, much to the delight of the rest of his staff who had long since grown tired of watching the pair staring dreamily at each other without taking action.
His deputy and lover is a witch who, while much younger in years, possess a maturity and wisdom to match Albus’ own. Her name is Minerva McGonagall and in addition to her duties as deputy headmistress she teaches Transfiguration to the Hogwarts students and is the head of Gryffindor, one of the four houses into which the students are sorted. Minerva’s black hair is nearly as long as the headmaster’s, but very few people realize this as she wears it pulled into a tight bun during the daytime. This bun, along with the stern set of her mouth and the sharp green eyes under square spectacles, gives the impression that Minerva is not a person to cross. Any observer would be correct in this assumption, Minerva does not suffer fools gladly and will not tolerate misbehavior from her students. However, her quick temper is balanced by her large heart, which is capable of such love and passion it would boggle the mind.
Now that you will recognize our protagonists when you see them, let us go and seek them out. Entering the school grounds through the elaborate iron gates we walk across rolling green lawns, past the lake where the giant squid swims lazily in the sunlight of the July afternoon. The large oak doors of the castle open for us and we cross over the spot where Minerva first greets the anxious first year students each fall. Traveling past the Great Hall where the students and teachers take their meals, we climb the wide marble staircase, ignoring the pointing and whispering of the portrait subjects who wonder why we are here. As we travel down many corridors and up staircases concealed behind tapestries, you realize that without me to guide you back out you could become lost here for days. Finally, we arrive at our destination, a portrait of the Roman goddess of wisdom guarding a door in the tallest tower. Pausing in front of the door, I explain to you that we are in Gryffindor Tower. The students’ common room and dormitories are to our right, hidden behind the portrait of a large woman in a pink silk dress. She is currently napping as it is summer and her duties are not required. Quietly giving the password we enter the rooms of the deputy headmistress.
As we watch, Minerva is preparing to go out for the evening. Instead of her usual emerald green teaching robes she is wearing a slightly form fitting set of red silk robes with a decorous amount of decollete and her freshly washed hair is hanging in shining waves down her back. Minerva daubs perfume on the pulse points of her neck and, after a moment’s hesitation, between her breasts. Applying a quick coat of barely noticeable lipstick she is ready to leave when the door bursts open and three more women enter. They seem excited.
Backing toward the window, I whisper to you that the women are Poppy Pomfrey, Rolanda Hooch, and Sylvia Sprout – the school’s nurse, flying instructor, and Herbology teacher respectively and Minerva’s closest friends. Minerva turns to look at them, asking why they have come.
“We came to make sure you wore something appropriate on this date and I for one am pleased to see that you are,” says the one with her graying blond hair pulled into a low ponytail. (The nurse, Poppy, I inform you.)
“Yes,” agrees Rolanda, her yellow hawk-like eyes glinting in the candlelight. “You look wonderful. Now, where is our esteemed headmaster taking you tonight?”
“I don’t know,” Minerva says with a smile. “He said he wanted to surprise me.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet,” Sylvia says dreamily. “Are you giving each other gifts? The first anniversary is an important one you know.”
Minerva’s face positively lights up as she tells her friends she managed to obtain a very old chess set that had been in the Dumbledore family for generations before Albus’ uncle lost it in a ruthless game. Albus has always lamented the loss of the beautiful hand carved chessmen and Minerva can’t wait to see his face when he opens the box.
“What’s he getting you?” Rolanda asks.
“He didn’t tell me of course,” Minerva says, rolling her eyes, “but he did say that it’s small and yellow.”
“Oh my gosh,” Poppy gasps. “I bet it’s an engagement ring.”
Minerva makes a derisive sound through her nose, “Knowing Albus it’s more likely to be a sherbet lemon.”
“I don’t know,” Poppy says thoughtfully. “You have been dating for a year and neither of you is getting any younger, I bet he is going to propose.”
“You know what,” Rolanda says with feverish excitement. “He’ll probably hide the ring in something at dinner. It’s the latest trend in proposals.”
“Oh, she’s right,” Sylvia says. “A friend of mine got engaged a few months ago and her fiancé put the ring in the bottom of a glass of champagne. And I heard about another woman who found an engagement ring inside a rose. It’s so romantic, I’ll wager Dumbledore slips the ring into your food or your flowers somewhere.”
Minerva looks skeptical, “I don’t think Albus would do that. He can be very old fashioned you know. I really don’t think he plans to propose, ladies, I haven’t noticed any signs that he’s even been thinking about marriage. It’s probably the farthest thing from his mind.”
“You’ll say yes, though. Won’t you?” Poppy asks.
“Of course,” Minerva answers without thinking and then shakes her head. “I mean no. Well, I would say yes if he asked, but he’s not going to ask.”
“If you say so,” Rolanda says doubtfully. “Just don’t eat or drink anything before checking for a ring. My cousin accidentally ate a piece of cake with her engagement ring concealed inside. They had to pump her stomach and her boyfriend was so angry at the waste of a twenty galleon meal that he took the ring back and broke off the relationship.”
“Well that won’t happen to Min and Dumbledore,” Sylvia says wisely. “He would never break up with you.”
Minerva looks at the clock, Albus will be here soon. “Would you all just go. He’ll be here any moment and he’s not going to propose,” she says with a note of finality, but there is an odd hopeful look in her eyes.
Before the others can leave there is a knock at the door and Minerva opens it to reveal a very handsome and impressive looking Albus. He is wearing sky blue robes to match his eyes, which are twinkling behind his spectacles. Minerva smiles warmly at him and accepts the arm he offers her. Her friends bid them good night and walk quickly down the corridor, whispering and giggling like schoolgirls.
“Shall we go, my dear,” Albus asks Minerva with a loving smile.
“Lead the way,” she answers and I beckon you to follow them with me.
I Do, I Don't
There exists, in the mountains of Scotland, a very curious establishment. A large castle that has survived over one-thousand years of wars and change and stands today just as strong and proud as the day it was first erected. Within these ancient stone walls pulses the life of a school; over one-thousand students and teachers reside here from September to June each year, practicing the age old tradition of magical education. Not everyone can see the grand castle which houses Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with its tall towers, flagged stone floors, and vaulted ceilings, but luckily today we are among the privileged few for it is here where our story begins.
The headmaster of the prestigious institution is a man named Albus Dumbledore. He is a wise and eccentric wizard, well over one-hundred years old, but with the spirit and energy of his students. His long white, almost silver, hair and beard and the ever present half-moon spectacles perched on his long crooked nose are the only signs of his age. For the last year, Albus Dumbledore has been courting his deputy headmistress, much to the delight of the rest of his staff who had long since grown tired of watching the pair staring dreamily at each other without taking action.
His deputy and lover is a witch who, while much younger in years, possess a maturity and wisdom to match Albus’ own. Her name is Minerva McGonagall and in addition to her duties as deputy headmistress she teaches Transfiguration to the Hogwarts students and is the head of Gryffindor, one of the four houses into which the students are sorted. Minerva’s black hair is nearly as long as the headmaster’s, but very few people realize this as she wears it pulled into a tight bun during the daytime. This bun, along with the stern set of her mouth and the sharp green eyes under square spectacles, gives the impression that Minerva is not a person to cross. Any observer would be correct in this assumption, Minerva does not suffer fools gladly and will not tolerate misbehavior from her students. However, her quick temper is balanced by her large heart, which is capable of such love and passion it would boggle the mind.
Now that you will recognize our protagonists when you see them, let us go and seek them out. Entering the school grounds through the elaborate iron gates we walk across rolling green lawns, past the lake where the giant squid swims lazily in the sunlight of the July afternoon. The large oak doors of the castle open for us and we cross over the spot where Minerva first greets the anxious first year students each fall. Traveling past the Great Hall where the students and teachers take their meals, we climb the wide marble staircase, ignoring the pointing and whispering of the portrait subjects who wonder why we are here. As we travel down many corridors and up staircases concealed behind tapestries, you realize that without me to guide you back out you could become lost here for days. Finally, we arrive at our destination, a portrait of the Roman goddess of wisdom guarding a door in the tallest tower. Pausing in front of the door, I explain to you that we are in Gryffindor Tower. The students’ common room and dormitories are to our right, hidden behind the portrait of a large woman in a pink silk dress. She is currently napping as it is summer and her duties are not required. Quietly giving the password we enter the rooms of the deputy headmistress.
As we watch, Minerva is preparing to go out for the evening. Instead of her usual emerald green teaching robes she is wearing a slightly form fitting set of red silk robes with a decorous amount of decollete and her freshly washed hair is hanging in shining waves down her back. Minerva daubs perfume on the pulse points of her neck and, after a moment’s hesitation, between her breasts. Applying a quick coat of barely noticeable lipstick she is ready to leave when the door bursts open and three more women enter. They seem excited.
Backing toward the window, I whisper to you that the women are Poppy Pomfrey, Rolanda Hooch, and Sylvia Sprout – the school’s nurse, flying instructor, and Herbology teacher respectively and Minerva’s closest friends. Minerva turns to look at them, asking why they have come.
“We came to make sure you wore something appropriate on this date and I for one am pleased to see that you are,” says the one with her graying blond hair pulled into a low ponytail. (The nurse, Poppy, I inform you.)
“Yes,” agrees Rolanda, her yellow hawk-like eyes glinting in the candlelight. “You look wonderful. Now, where is our esteemed headmaster taking you tonight?”
“I don’t know,” Minerva says with a smile. “He said he wanted to surprise me.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet,” Sylvia says dreamily. “Are you giving each other gifts? The first anniversary is an important one you know.”
Minerva’s face positively lights up as she tells her friends she managed to obtain a very old chess set that had been in the Dumbledore family for generations before Albus’ uncle lost it in a ruthless game. Albus has always lamented the loss of the beautiful hand carved chessmen and Minerva can’t wait to see his face when he opens the box.
“What’s he getting you?” Rolanda asks.
“He didn’t tell me of course,” Minerva says, rolling her eyes, “but he did say that it’s small and yellow.”
“Oh my gosh,” Poppy gasps. “I bet it’s an engagement ring.”
Minerva makes a derisive sound through her nose, “Knowing Albus it’s more likely to be a sherbet lemon.”
“I don’t know,” Poppy says thoughtfully. “You have been dating for a year and neither of you is getting any younger, I bet he is going to propose.”
“You know what,” Rolanda says with feverish excitement. “He’ll probably hide the ring in something at dinner. It’s the latest trend in proposals.”
“Oh, she’s right,” Sylvia says. “A friend of mine got engaged a few months ago and her fiancé put the ring in the bottom of a glass of champagne. And I heard about another woman who found an engagement ring inside a rose. It’s so romantic, I’ll wager Dumbledore slips the ring into your food or your flowers somewhere.”
Minerva looks skeptical, “I don’t think Albus would do that. He can be very old fashioned you know. I really don’t think he plans to propose, ladies, I haven’t noticed any signs that he’s even been thinking about marriage. It’s probably the farthest thing from his mind.”
“You’ll say yes, though. Won’t you?” Poppy asks.
“Of course,” Minerva answers without thinking and then shakes her head. “I mean no. Well, I would say yes if he asked, but he’s not going to ask.”
“If you say so,” Rolanda says doubtfully. “Just don’t eat or drink anything before checking for a ring. My cousin accidentally ate a piece of cake with her engagement ring concealed inside. They had to pump her stomach and her boyfriend was so angry at the waste of a twenty galleon meal that he took the ring back and broke off the relationship.”
“Well that won’t happen to Min and Dumbledore,” Sylvia says wisely. “He would never break up with you.”
Minerva looks at the clock, Albus will be here soon. “Would you all just go. He’ll be here any moment and he’s not going to propose,” she says with a note of finality, but there is an odd hopeful look in her eyes.
Before the others can leave there is a knock at the door and Minerva opens it to reveal a very handsome and impressive looking Albus. He is wearing sky blue robes to match his eyes, which are twinkling behind his spectacles. Minerva smiles warmly at him and accepts the arm he offers her. Her friends bid them good night and walk quickly down the corridor, whispering and giggling like schoolgirls.
“Shall we go, my dear,” Albus asks Minerva with a loving smile.
“Lead the way,” she answers and I beckon you to follow them with me.
