Can't Repeat the Past (Teacher or a Leader sequel)

[kissofdeath]

Aww. That was a sweet chapter.

Ugh, Must. Break. Free. From. Movie. Maker. And. Finish. POMJB. Fic!

lol.

Btw: Are you planning on making an ADMM vid?

[dianahawthorne]

Yes, I'm dying to see what happens next in your POMJB fic!!! LOL

Anyway, I'm planning to make a fanvid, not AD/MM by Jean/Teddy. Perhaps I'll make an AD/MM vid next, though

[kissofdeath]

aww! That would rock!

Dude, it'd be like the first Teddy/Jean vid ever! Epicness!

You are like creating a new POMJB trend!

Curiosity is killing me, what song are you going to use?

[dianahawthorne]

Not sure what song I'm going to use yet - I was leaning towards using "Jean", but EVERYONE uses that song for Maggie videos. I'll let you know once I figure out a song

[kissofdeath]

yeah, 'Jean' is becoming to cliche.

Is it strictly Jean/Teddy or pushing into Maggie RL with bits of Maggie/Robert?

Because "My Immortal" by Evanesence would be a good one to use, especially for Jean/Teddy.

[dianahawthorne]

That's a good idea for a song

I think that it's just going to be Jean/Teddy, but I might add some Maggie/Robert in it.

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Eight


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As always, dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

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Her husband stumbled into bed at three o’clock the next morning. Even though Jean was typically a light sleeper, she was not woken up this time, as she had exhausted herself from crying earlier that evening. Teddy collapsed into bed before he had even taken off his shoes.

The next morning, Jean woke up first, and looked down at her husband. Despite herself, she felt her heart melting again as she looked down at him. He looked so peaceful and perfectly harmless when he slept, and she tore her eyes away from him, not wanting to lose her resolve before she could speak to him about his recent behaviour. She placed her hand on his shoulder and shook him slightly; he stirred, waking.

“Good morning, Jean,” Teddy said, his voice still hoarse from last night’s escapades.

“Teddy, we need to talk,” Jean told him.

“Can’t it wait until after breakfast?” he asked her.

“No, Teddy, I’m sorry, but it can’t wait,” she replied. “Teddy, please, won’t you stop staying out so late and stop flirting with every single woman who crosses your path?”

“Jean, you know me,” he sighed.

“Yes, I do, Teddy – and I would never presume to try to change you. But please, darling, please! Can’t you come home earlier a few times a week? And not flirt with as many women?” she asked. “Please Teddy; I love you so much, I need you so much,” she said. “I beg you, Teddy – please love me.” She could not believe that she was now relegated to begging her husband for his love and fidelity.

He was overcome with guilt as he watched his proud wife beg him to love her.

“I’m so sorry, Jean,” he whispered. “I do love you.”

She smiled sadly at him, tears in her eyes. “I know, Teddy,” she said. “And I love you; I love you so much.”

He reached out a hand to caress her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. He kissed her, rolling her onto her back, and continued to kiss her.

“I do love you, Jean,” he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. “I do. I know it might not seem like it at times, but I do love you, have loved you for years.”

“Oh, Teddy, I love you too,” she whispered, her lips caressing his. He pushed up the skirt of her nightgown as her fingers fumbled with his belt buckle. She pulled down her knickers as he pulled down his trousers, and he took his erection in hand as she wrapped her legs around his hips.

“Mmm, Jean, my darling,” he moaned as he entered her. “Oh, you are so wonderful.”

She clutched his back tightly, her nails digging into his back, the slight pain causing him to climax.

“Yes, Jean, yes!” he yelled.

“Oh, Teddy; Teddy, Teddy, my one, my only!” she cried out. He collapsed on top of her, resting there for a few moments.

“I love you, Jean,” he said.

“I love you, Teddy.”

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Teddy took Jean’s pleas to heart. He began coming home in time for dinner at least twice a week. He made more time for his family, and he stopped flirting so much with other women.

The rest of the year passed quietly, uneventfully, with Teddy not forgetting their sons’ birthdays or his and Jean’s anniversary. William began school, attending Riverview just like his brother. He, too, was a bright student.

When December came, Jenny and her husband arrived in Australia to spend the month with Jean and her family. It was wonderful to have Jenny there – she was no longer a student, and she and Jean became close friends and confidantes.

“Jean, do you ever regret having to leave your job?” Jenny asked her as they strolled through the streets of Sydney.

“Sometimes,” Jean replied. “Though it never was the same after you girls left my care, I still miss teaching. But I would not trade my family for a chance to go back to teaching.”

“Are you happy, Jean?” Jenny asked her.

Jean stopped and looked at Jenny. “No, I’m not happy,” Jean admitted. “I’m not happy at all.”

“Why not, Jean?” she asked.

“Oh, Jenny... married life is difficult. And Teddy... well, Teddy is not really suited to being a husband,” Jean explained. “He’s more suited to being a lover.”

“What do you mean?” she asked her former teacher confusingly.

“Well, he’s not very, well, stable,” Jean explained. “He enjoys flirting with other women, you see.”

“Does he have affairs?” Jenny asked Jean.

“He did,” Jean replied. “He was away for nearly three years on an exhibition,” Jean said. “Travelling through Europe. And he had many affairs in Europe, and when he returned he continued them, at least until I became pregnant the second time.”

“What did you do while he was away?” Jenny asked. “Did you just stay and wait for him?”

“No,” Jean replied, looking wistful. “I began an affair with Edward, Teddy’s cousin.”

“Do you love him?” Jenny asked.

“Oh, yes,” she said. “I do love him, but not as much as I love Teddy. I don’t know, Jenny... I don’t know why I love Teddy when he doesn’t love me as I need to be loved, while Edward does love me in that way.”

“I am sorry, Jean,” Jenny said.

“It’s all right,” Jean said. “I am used to complications in my life. I just hope that your life is far smoother and peaceful than mine.”

“Thank you, Jean,” Jenny said. Jean smiled down at her former student, and they walked back to Jean’s house.

The rest of the month passed quickly, and Christmas came. Early in the morning, Duncan and William woke up their parents, and they all went downstairs. Jenny and Richard were woken up by Jean’s sons as well.

They all gathered around the Christmas tree, the boys beginning to unwrap their presents while the maid brought in a tray laden with breakfast.

William opened the first present, from Jenny and Richard. It was a copy of Winnie-the-Pooh.

“Thank you!” William exclaimed.

Duncan opened their present next, a set of paints. “Thank you,” Duncan said with enthusiasm.

Jenny and Richard opened their present from Jean and Teddy next – a pair of tickets for them so that they could visit in two years’ time.

“Thank you, Jean,” Jenny said, leaning across to kiss her former teacher on the cheek.

Jean then opened her present from Jenny and Richard – it was a reproduction of John William Waterhouse’s painting “The Lady of Shalott”.

“Thank you, Jenny; it’s wonderful,” Jean said, setting the painting aside.

An hour later, the doorbell rang, and Jean stood up to answer the door. It was Edward, his arms loaded down with parcels.

“Happy Christmas, Edward,” Jean said, taking some of the parcels out of his arms.

“Happy Christmas, Jean,” he replied, stepping into the house. He bent down and kissed her on the cheek. She beamed up at him.

“We’re all in the living room,” Jean said, leading the way.

“Look who’s here!” Jean called out.

“Uncle Eddy!” the boys exclaimed, scrambling towards him. They swamped him with hugs.

“Happy Christmas, boys,” Edward said, ruffling their hair.

“Are those presents for us?” William asked. Edward laughed.

“Yes, they are,” he said, handing each of the boys a few presents.

Duncan received a set of books about painting and a child-sized easel; William got a building set and a set of toy soldiers.

After the boys had finished opening their presents, they played with their new toys while the grown-ups had tea and watched the boys play.

After tea, Jenny and Richard went upstairs to pack – they were leaving the next day. Jean picked up the wrapping paper that was strewn about and then tidied up her sons’ toys, while Teddy and Edward talked.

The day passed quietly, and their big Christmas dinner was the main event of the day. Jenny found the sixpence in the Christmas pudding. After their Christmas dinner, Jean tucked her boys into bed. Jenny and Richard said good night, as they had to get up early the next morning. Teddy and Jean said good night to Edward, who pressed a small present into Jean’s hand before he left.

Jean and Teddy went up to their room to exchange their personal gifts to each other. Jean hid the present from Edward in her nightstand and got out Teddy’s present. He joined her on the bed and handed Jean her present, and she handed him his present.

Jean opened her present first, revealing a beautiful new watch, the face of which was set about with diamonds. Engraved on the back were the words “To my darling wife, love Teddy.”

“Thank you, Teddy,” Jean said, carefully placing the watch back in its box before kissing him.

After they pulled back from the kiss, Teddy opened his present. Jean had bought him a nice new set of paints and a fine set of sable paintbrushes.

“Thank you, Jean,” Teddy said, kissing her again. “Happy Christmas, darling.”

“Happy Christmas,” Jean replied, snuggling into her husband’s embrace. He kissed her lightly.

“I love you, Jean darling,” he said, smiling lovingly down at her.

“I love you, too,” Jean replied.

The next morning Jean woke up early to drive Jenny and Richard to the dock. Jean and Jenny promised to write to each other, and Jenny and Richard would return in two years to spend Christmas with the Lloyds.

“Goodbye, Jenny,” Jean said, embracing her former student.

“Goodbye, Jean,” Jenny replied. “See you in two years.”

“See you in two years,” Jean repeated. She waved as she watched the ship depart, then drove back home.

Her husband was still asleep when she returned, so she took the present Edward had given her last night out of her nightstand. She walked downstairs to the living room and opened it.

It was a beautiful charm bracelet, each of the charms representing something special in her life. There was a charm representing Scotland and a charm shaped like Australia. There were two locket-like charms that held pictures of her two sons. There was a tiny charm with a portrait of the Mona Lisa, another shaped like a paintbrush and palette, and, finally, a heart. There was a tiny clasp on the heart-shaped charm, and she opened it.

“All my love, Edward,” it read. Tears came to Jean’s eyes. She had never received a gift that had so much thought put into it. She immediately fastened the bracelet around her wrist – it looked wonderful. Edward was so marvellous – and she did love him, even though she loved Teddy more.

“I love you, Edward,” she whispered, even though he was not there. “I love you.”

[KristaMarie]

awww! That was so incredibly sweet! Great job , as always

[kissofdeath]

awwww! Fluffyness!

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Nine


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Happy holidays! As always, this story is dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie.

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New Years’ came. Though both of their boys wanted to stay up to celebrate, Duncan was the only one who did, as William fell asleep long before midnight. Jean and Teddy had invited Edward to join them, but he had declined.

Later that night, after the clock struck midnight, they were quite surprised to hear the doorbell ring, just as she, her husband, and her elder son were just finishing singing “Auld Lang Synge”. Jean walked to the door and opened it, revealing Edward.

“Edward!” she exclaimed. “Happy New Year,” she said, stretching up to kiss his cheek. “Won’t you come in?”

“Thank you, Jean. These are for you,” he said, presenting her with a bag. She opened it, and found it held a small container of salt, a bit of coal, some shortbread, and a small bottle of whisky. She smiled happily up at him. “It is good luck for your first visitor to be a dark-haired man, isn’t it?” he asked her.

“Yes, it is,” she said as he stepped over the threshold. “Especially a handsome dark-haired man.” She smiled up at him, and he returned her smiled, before she led him into the living room. He joined Duncan and Teddy on the couch.

“I’ll get some glasses, shall I, and then we can have the whisky?” Jean suggested, and the men nodded. She went into the kitchen and came back bearing three whisky glasses and a glass of milk for Duncan. Jean set the tray on the table and handed the glass of milk to her son while her husband poured the whisky into the glasses. Once the whisky had been poured out, Teddy handed the glasses to Edward and Jean, keeping one for himself.

“Slàinte,” Teddy said.

“Slàinte,” Jean, Edward, and Duncan replied, clinking their glasses together. They drank to their continuing health and happiness in the New Year.

After the toast, Duncan began to nod off.

“Up you get,” Teddy said, picking his son up. He carried him up the stairs, leaving Jean and Edward downstairs together.

“Thank you for the gifts, Edward,” Jean said, placing her hand on his cheek.

“You’re wearing the bracelet,” he said, holding her other hand.

“Of course, Edward,” she said, smiling at him. “It was the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given to me. I love it – I love you,” she said, caressing his cheek.

“I’m glad,” he replied.

“Happy New Year, Edward,” Jean whispered as the clock struck one.

“Happy New Year, Jean,” he replied. She kissed him lightly on the lips before pulling back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jean said. “Well, later today.”

“I’ll see you then,” Edward said, standing up from the couch. Jean walked him to the door.

“Good night, Edward,” she said, stretching up to kiss him lightly on the lips.

“Good night, Jean,” he replied, and walked out into the night.

Jean went upstairs to join her husband in bed.

“Happy New Year, darling,” he said, once she had changed and climbed into bed with him. He kissed her lightly.

“Happy New Year, Teddy,” she replied, returning his kiss. She snuggled up in his embrace and drifted off to sleep.

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1945 was both the happiest and the saddest year of Teddy and Jean’s marriage. The Second World War ended, Hitler and Mussolini were overthrown, and everything settled down. Teddy and Jean’s marriage had never been stronger, and Jean had never been happier, at least until Edward was asked to reinstate his role in the Australian Parliament. He accepted, and thus would be spending most of the month in Canberra, returning to Sydney for a week every month.

“Why are you leaving?” Jean asked Edward, just before he boarded the train to Canberra.

“I know that I’m in the way between you and Teddy,” Edward confessed. “I need to stay out of your way, my dear.”

“Oh, Edward,” she sighed unhappily. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

“It’ll only be for a few years,” he reassured her. “And I’ll be back once a month.”

The train whistle blew, and Edward looked down at her. “I must go, darling,” he said. “I love you.”

She clung to him. “I love you, too, Edward,” she whispered, kissing him. Tears fell down her face. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I must, darling,” he said. He bent down and kissed her again. He stepped out of her embrace and, with one final kiss to her lips, boarded the train. He waved as the train departed, and she waved as well, standing there until she could no longer see the train. She slowly walked back to the car and sat there for a few moments, composing herself, before she drove back home.

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That night, Teddy was more amorous than he had been since they had first married. Jean, though she enjoyed making love to her husband – well, enjoy was an understatement – missed Edward. But that night, as soon as they had tucked their sons into bed, Teddy took his wife’s hand and led her into their room. He pulled her down on top of him on her bed, and she placed her hands on his chest, smiling down at him.

“I love you, darling,” she said as he trailed his hands down her back, pulling down the zipper of her dress.

“And I love you, Jean,” he said, her dress pooling around her waist. She could feel his erection pressing against her, and she shivered with excitement. He reached up to unfasten her bra while her nimble fingers made short work of the buttons on his shirt. He tossed her bra behind them and pulled her down for a kiss.

She broke out of the kiss as she felt his erection press insistently against her abdomen.

“Mmm, Teddy,” she whispered as she unfastened his trousers. She rolled off him for a moment to discard her dress and her knickers, while he pulled off his trousers and let them fall on the floor, before pulling his wife back on top of him. He kissed the side of her neck as she smiled happily, bringing her hand down to his erection, stroking it as he moaned against her neck.

“Jean, my darling,” he whispered, and, rolling her onto her back, continued to kiss her neck, trailing lower and lower as she gasped beneath his touch.

He rolled onto his back, holding her on top of him. She took his erection in hand once again and guided it into her.

“Oh, yes!” Jean moaned as she moved on top of him. He gripped her hips tightly and pulled her down on top of him repeatedly. “Oh, God, yes, Teddy, yes!” she cried out as she began to come, her head dropping back in her ecstasy. Once more he rolled her onto her back and pumped into her. A few moments later, he joined her in rapture.

They lay there, recovering, their limbs entangled, as Jean rested her head against his chest.

“Oh, God, I love you, Jean,” he whispered, stroking her golden hair softly. He wrapped one shining lock around his index finger. Her hair had grown so much longer since they first married – it now cascaded down around her shoulders.

“I love you, too, Teddy,” she replied, looking up at him lovingly. “I love you so much.” She yawned slightly.

“Tired, love?” he asked her, and she nodded sleepily.

“Mmm, yes,” she replied, yawning again. “Good night, Teddy.”

“Good night, Jean,” he replied. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said, snuggling up to her husband and falling asleep, wrapped warmly and safely in her husband’s arms.

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Edward had a difficult time adjusting to not seeing Jean and the boys every day. He longed for Jean, missed seeing her beautiful face; he missed hearing her voice and feeling the texture of her skin against his. Though he enjoyed his work, he looked forward to his week in Sydney more than anything.

He wrote to her every day, and she wrote back just as frequently.

My dearest, most darling Jean,

I miss you so much. Canberra, while a lovely city, does not have you, and, as such, is the most dismal place in the world. Oh, God, Jean – I miss you, I miss you so much. I wish that I had never left, but I felt called to serve my country. Jean, I cannot wait until next Saturday, when I will hopefully be able to return to Sydney for a week.

How are you, my darling? How are the boys? And how is Teddy? I hope that you all are well. I hope that your relationship with Teddy is well and hopefully helped by my absence. I hope so, darling – I just want you to be happy, after all.

I love you, Jean.

All my love,

Edward.

Dearest, darling Edward,

Why did you have to leave me? Oh, why did you have to leave me? Edward, I miss you so much – and I’m not the only one. The boys miss you terribly as well, especially Duncan. You do know that he is closer to you than he is to Teddy, after all.

The boys are fine, and both of them are doing well in school, though they miss you. Teddy is doing well too. And yes, our marriage is fine right now – in fact, it’s better than it has been in years. Well, at least he is remaining faithful to me, and is coming home more often. And he has been much more amorous than usual. But every time he touches me, Edward, I think of you.

I hope that everything is well in Canberra, and I hope that you will be able to come home next week, as planned. I miss you, darling, and I love you so much.

I love you,

Jean.

Unfortunately, Edward was not able to return to Sydney that month, nor for the next three months. Jean missed him terribly and longed for him every day. She lost a bit of weight as a result of her longing for Edward. Other than her slight weight loss, she hid her longing for Edward quite well. Her husband was quite unaware of her yearning for his cousin.

Teddy, on the other hand, was quite happy to have his cousin in Canberra, and very happy to have his wife all to himself. He did love her, and without Edward in the picture, he felt freer to express his love to Jean.

They made love with far more frequency than they had in the past five years of their marriage. Now that their children no longer woke them up in the middle of the night, Jean and Teddy had far more energy and time to make love, which they took advantage of. Jean loved being so intimate with her husband, but every time she closed her eyes when he touched her, she thought of Edward.

She was torn between the two men, and she did not know what to do. She loved them both, after all. But she knew that she would never leave Teddy, no matter how much she loved Edward.

[KristaMarie]

Aww poor Jean Fabulous as always dear!

[kissofdeath]

Aww, ditto what Krista said. Kickass fic as always.

Anyways, I'm glad you liked the vid. It was a real challenge to create but totally fun. I might do another one but I'm not sure yet.

[dianahawthorne]

kissofdeath: I loved your video, and I hope that you do make another one - but not before you write the next chapter of your Jean Brodie fic!! LOL.

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Ten


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As always, dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie. Don’t worry – this is not the last chapter!

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A few weeks before the winter term began for their boys, Teddy was offered a job at the National Art School. He accepted, and taught a class on portraiture Wednesdays through Saturdays.

After Teddy began his new job, Jean took the boys down to Canberra for a few days to visit with Edward. He met them at the station late in the evening on the third Wednesday of November.

“Hello, Edward,” Jean said, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

“Hello, Jean,” he replied, beaming down at her. He tore his gaze away from her to look down at her sons.

“Hello, boys!” he said, tousling their hair. “Welcome to Canberra.”

“Thank you,” they replied, and Edward took their bags and led them to the car. He drove them to his house, a beautiful, stately townhouse near the Parliament building.

Edward brought the boys up to their room first, and Jean unpacked for them while Edward helped to bathe the boys. An hour later, when the boys had been tucked into their beds and were fast asleep, Edward showed Jean to her room.

“Why don’t you freshen up and then join me downstairs for a nightcap?” Edward suggested.

“All right,” Jean said, kissing him lightly. “I’m glad that we’re here.”

“As am I,” he replied, kissing her again. “I’ll be downstairs.”

She nodded and he left her bedroom.

Thirty minutes later, Jean joined Edward downstairs, clad in her thin silk dressing gown.

“What would you like to drink, Jean?” Edward asked her.

“Whatever you’re having,” she replied, and he nodded, pouring out two scotches, before joining her on the couch. He handed her the glass, and she smiled at him, taking a sip from her glass. They sat there in comfortable silence, just gazing at each other. Once they had finished their drinks, Jean yawned.

“Tired, Jean?” he asked her, and she nodded. “I’ll walk you up to bed, then,” he said.

“Thank you,” she replied, yawning again. Once they had reached her bedroom, she crawled between the sheets.

“Good night, Jean,” Edward said, kissing her lightly. She caught his hand before he stepped back.

“Won’t you stay with me, Edward?” Jean asked him.

He smiled down at her. “All right,” he said. “Let me just get changed.”

“Don’t be long, darling,” she said, and he nodded, walking into his bedroom. He returned fifteen minutes later, and was greeted by one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen – Jean Brodie Lloyd, sitting up in bed, her golden-blonde hair falling about her shoulders, her blue eyes twinkling, her lips curled into a smile. He returned the smile and climbed between the sheets, joining Jean in bed.

“What time should we set the alarm for tomorrow morning?” Edward asked.

“Hmm, I suppose seven o’clock,” Jean replied. He nodded and wound the alarm clock, setting it down on the nightstand again.

“Good night, Edward,” Jean said, stretching up to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her and returned the kiss.

“Good night, my darling,” Edward replied. She smiled up at Edward and snuggled into his arms.

“I love you,” Jean said.

“I love you, too,” Edward replied, kissing her forehead lightly. They drifted off to sleep.

Their time in Canberra passed very quickly. Edward had taken them all around the city, and the boys had truly enjoyed their time with Edward – so did Jean. She slept in his arms every night, warm and safe in his embrace. They did not, however, make love while she stayed with him. Neither of them wanted the boys to accidentally walk in on them making love, nor have them inadvertently tell Teddy about their sleeping arrangements. But it was enough just to lie in his arms at night; feel the steady beat of his heart against her cheek; smell his unique, manly scent; feel his body against hers; hear the deep, soothing tones of his voice. Their relationship was based on far more than just sex, quite unlike her relationship with her husband. Their relationship, after all, had begun with them falling into bed with each other, and was, at times, only sustained by sex. She knew that Teddy loved her, but it seemed that the only time he showed her his love was in bed. Edward was so different – their physical relations were only a meagre portion of how he showed her his love.

Saturday came, and Jean and the boys left for Sydney once more. Jean and Edward had said their goodbyes early that morning, before they had woken up the boys.

“I don’t want to go,” Jean said, clinging to him.

“And I don’t want you to go,” Edward said, caressing her cheek. “I love you so much, Jean.”

“And I love you, Edward,” she replied, burying her face against his chest. She began to cry. “I’ve been happier here with you than I have in quite some time.”

“And I haven’t been happier since Teddy came back,” Edward said, stroking her hair. “I love you, Jean.”

She pulled back from him and smiled up at him sadly. “I suppose we should wake up the boys and get ready to go.”

“All right, Jean,” he replied. He bent down and kissed her once more. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Teddy met them at the train station, and they drove back to the house, the boys asleep in the backseat of the car.

“How is Edward?” Teddy asked Jean.

“He’s doing well,” Jean replied. “He took a few days off and showed us around Canberra.”

“That’s nice,” Teddy replied. He looked over at her lovingly and placed his left hand on her knee. She looked at him. “I’m glad you’re back, Jean – it’s been lonely without you.” She smiled up at him.

“It’s good to be home,” she said, and she even believed it to be true.

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Edward was only able to come back for Christmas and New Year’s, and had to go back to Canberra on the second of January. Once more, however, he declined to spend the New Year with them so that he could be the First Footer. This year, William had stayed up as well, and Edward joined them in singing “Auld Lang Synge”.

He had to leave the next day, to return to Canberra. He was quickly becoming disenchanted with his work – he did not like being away from Jean so much, and he missed the boys as well. But he was committed to his country, and was committed to serving his country as long as he could, even at the expense of his own happiness. And he could not bring himself to return to Sydney and possibly damage Jean and Teddy’s happiness. He wanted Jean to be happy, and if his absence meant that her marriage was safe, then he would stay away from Sydney.

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The years passed quietly for the Lloyds. Teddy was very happy teaching at the National Art School, and, now that he had a steady job once more, Jean did not worry about him starting another affair. He did flirt with many of his female students, however, but Jean pushed that aside. His drinking, at least, had stopped being so excessive, as he would not be allowed to show up drunk for work.

Duncan and William progressed very well at school, both of them topping their forms. Jean, incredibly lonely at home, began to write short stories about her life in Edinburgh. They were published in Meanjin magazine, where they were received with great acclaim.

Jenny and her husband Richard visited the Lloyds for Christmas every two years. On their third visit, they brought their eighteen-month-old daughter, whom they had named Jean Helen Quigley. Their daughter was beautiful, with red-gold hair just like Jenny’s. The boys were quite fond of her – William, now eight, and Duncan, now twelve, were quite mature for their age, and enjoyed spending time with the baby. Jenny and Richard enjoyed the extra help that Jean provided in looking after the baby – they were able to get a good night’s sleep. Teddy was not much help, but then again, he never was much help with the children. And he was busy with work.

Edward, unfortunately, was still working in Canberra; though he had thought that he would resume his retirement after a year – two at the most – he was still needed in Canberra four years after he returned to Parliament. And he was not able to return to Sydney nearly as often as he would like – he was only able to return during the holidays. As was now tradition, Edward was their First-Footer.

Even though Edward was only able to return to Sydney during the holidays, Jean took the boys to visit once a month for a weekend, and took them for two weeks during their summer holidays. Jean was not worried about her husband having an affair while she was gone, though he did flirt quite a lot with women.

During these visits, Jean and Edward never made love, though they were both incredibly tempted. They did spend every night in each other’s arms.

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One day, when Duncan was thirteen, after they returned from a weekend in Canberra, he asked Jean if they could talk.

“Mum, can we talk?” Duncan asked her one afternoon.

“Of course, darling,” Jean said.

“Can we go for a walk?” he asked.

“Of course,” she replied, standing up from the couch. They walked outside and began to walk to the park.

“Now, what do you want to talk to me about, dear?” Jean asked as they strolled through the park.

“Do you remember, when I was about four, coming to the park and seeing Daddy kissing another woman?” Duncan asked his mother.

She stiffened. “Yes, I do.”

“Did Daddy have a lot of affairs?” he asked.

“Yes, he did; at least until I became pregnant with William,” Jean said. She had never believed in lying to her children, and so she was perfectly frank with Duncan.

“Are you in love with Daddy?” he asked.

“Of course I am, darling,” Jean said. “Why don’t we sit down?” she suggested, leading her son to a bench. “Now, Duncan, why are you asking all these questions?”

“Mum, are you also in love with Uncle Edward?”

She smiled sadly at him. “Yes, I am.”

“I thought so,” he replied.

“I love your father more, Duncan,” Jean explained. “But I do love Edward.”

“Does Daddy know that you are in love with Uncle Edward too?”

“Yes, he does,” Jean admitted. Her son took the news calmly.

“Why don’t you divorce Daddy and marry Uncle Edward, then?” Duncan asked her coolly.

She looked at him, utterly shocked. “I could never leave your father, darling – I love him so much.”

“It’s not because of us, then, is it?” Duncan asked. “Because you know that William and I are more fond of Uncle Edward than we are of Daddy – I’m sorry, Mum, but it’s true.”

“I know it is,” Jean said sadly. “I’ll never forget when you told me that you were scared of your father a few months after he returned from Europe.”

“I remember that, too,” Duncan said.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes.

“Duncan, I want you to know that I do love you and your brother so much,” Jean said. “I hope that you know that.”

“We do know that, Mum, and we love you too,” Duncan replied, kissing her on the cheek.

“Shall we go home?” she suggested, and Duncan nodded. They took the long way back to their house.

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A few months after Jean and Duncan’s talk, Edward retired from Parliament for the second time and moved back to Sydney. Jean was thrilled – of late, her husband’s behaviour had become increasingly erratic. He was drinking far more than usual and was flirting with many more women. He was also feeling quite ill. For nearly a year, Jean tried to convince him to see a doctor, but he kept on postponing his appointments. Finally, Edward got involved, and Teddy agreed to see a doctor. He was diagnosed with liver cancer, and, at the age of sixty-one, was given only three more months to live. Had he gone to the doctor earlier, the cancer would have been operable, but, as he had refused to see a doctor, the cancer had gone unchecked and had metastised.

He quit his job at the National Art School and ensconced himself at home, surrounding himself with his family. For the first time, he actually spent substantial amounts of time with his sons. He spent much of his time painting as well, finishing one final portrait of his wife. And, of course, he spent much time in bed with Jean.

Two months after his diagnosis, they made love for the last time. Teddy was quite sick by that point, and no longer had the stamina to make love to Jean long into the night.

Jean and Teddy took their time, Jean on top, as he could no longer support himself over her. She moved on top of him slowly, being careful not to hurt him. They came simultaneously, Jean collapsing on top of her husband. They lay there quietly, and Jean began to cry.

“Oh, Teddy,” she sobbed. “I don’t want you to die!”

“I don’t want to die either, Jean,” he replied, letting his own tears drip down his face. He stroked her long golden hair, now with a few strands of white interspersed amongst the gold. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you, Teddy,” she said. “Oh, God, how I love you.”

After they had made love for what they knew had been the last time, Teddy’s health declined rapidly. He refused to be brought to the hospital, wanting to spend his last month with his family.

A few days later, Teddy telephoned Edward when Jean was out to pick up the boys and asked him to come over for a talk. He came over right away.

“Edward, I want to talk to you about Jean,” Teddy began.

“Yes?” Edward asked.

“When I die, I want you to marry her,” he said bluntly.

“Teddy!” he exclaimed, shocked.

“I know that you love her, Edward, and, despite my behaviour, I love her too. I want her to be happy, and I know that she still loves you. I know, Edward, that you will treat her better than I ever did, as much as it pains me to admit it. And I know that Duncan and William are far closer to you than they are to me. It will be best for everyone if you two get married. Please, Edward – do it for me, for Jean, for the boys.”

“If that’s what you want, Teddy, then I will,” Edward said.

“I do want you to,” he replied.

“I will, then,” Edward said.

“Thank you,” Teddy sighed, relieved. The boys and Jean came in.

“Hello Edward; hello Teddy,” Jean said, walking over to her husband and his cousin. She kissed Edward on the cheek and kissed Teddy on the lips. The two men smiled at her, and she joined Teddy on the couch. Duncan and William went upstairs to set down their school things. They rejoined the adults a few minutes later, and the Lloyds spent a very happy evening together in front of the fire.

Later that night, Jean and Edward helped Teddy up to bed.

“Thank you for everything, Edward,” Teddy said gratefully.

“You’re welcome, Teddy,” Edward replied. They exchanged a smile, and then Edward left the room. Their sons came in a few moments later.

“Good night, Daddy; I love you,” Duncan said. William repeated him. Each of them kissed their father on his cheek.

“I love you, boys,” Teddy said, tousling their hair. “Sleep well.”

A half an hour later, Jean joined her husband in bed.

“Jean,” Teddy began. “When I die, I want you to marry Edward.”

“Are you sure, Teddy?” Jean asked him.

“Yes, I’m sure,” he replied.

“Then I will,” she said simply.

“I am sorry for not being a good husband to you over these years,” he apologised. “I love you, darling.”

“I love you, too, Teddy,” she replied, kissing him. “I love you so much.”

They fell asleep.

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Eight hours later, Jean woke up for the morning, and turned to her husband. He wasn’t breathing.

“Teddy?” she asked him, feeling for his heartbeat. There was none. “Teddy?” she asked again, growing more panicked by the moment. “Teddy?!” she screamed. She had known that it was coming, but she had not wanted to believe it.

Her sons came rushing in.

“Mummy, what’s wrong?” William asked. His mother was bent over his father’s body, sobbing.

Duncan went out of the room and telephoned Edward; five minutes later, Edward arrived and went up to the bedroom, where he gently pulled Jean away from the body.

“Duncan, telephone the doctor; William, help me bring your mother downstairs,” Edward said. They did as they were told.

Two hours later, the doctor came downstairs after examining the body.

“I’m very sorry for your loss, Mrs. Lloyd,” the doctor said, filling out the death certificate. He handed it to Edward, who showed him out.

Three days later, Teddy was buried in the Sydney cemetery. After his funeral, Jean was a bit relieved. She had loved Teddy, loved him for the best years of her life, but she would no longer have to put up with his infidelities or his moods. But she had loved him, loved him so much, and now he was gone.

A week after Teddy’s death, Jean and the boys moved in to Edward’s home. That night, after the boys had been put to bed, Jean and Edward sat down for a nightcap.

“When are you going to propose to me, Edward?” Jean asked him.

“Right now,” Edward said, pulling a small black box out of his pocket. He knelt in front of her. “Jean, will you marry me?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, crying as he slipped a large diamond ring on her finger. She had removed the engagement ring Teddy had given her after his funeral, and had put it away. She had also taken off her wedding ring, and had placed the rings in her jewellery box. She could not bear to look at them – the sight of them made her long for her husband.

“I love you, Jean,” Edward said, stroking her cheek.

“I love you, too, Edward,” she replied, smiling through her tears.

[kissofdeath]

awww.

Dude, that would scare the s*** out of me if I was sleeping with my husband and woke up to find him dead. *shuddders*

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Eleven


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As always, dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie.

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Three months after Teddy’s death, Jean and Edward were married in a small private ceremony at the courthouse. Jean’s sons were their witnesses.

After the ceremony, they returned to Matlock Island for two months. Edward’s housekeeper, Mrs. Finlay, would be looking after the boys while Jean and Edward were away.

They had decided to return to Matlock Island, the place where they had first made love, the place where their romance had first begun, over twelve years ago. Rob Walter, the manager of the resort, was still there, and he had given them the same cabin they had all those years ago.


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Jean had coped with Teddy’s death remarkably well – after the first week, at least. But the first week was awful for her – she would not leave her room, and curled up on the bed, weeping into one of Teddy’s old shirts, clutching it to her chest. She refused to eat, except for a few pieces of toast, refused to leave the room, refused to talk to anyone, even Edward. But after the funeral, she began to pull herself together, and she had accepted the fact that her husband was dead by the time she and Edward married.

She loved them both, and, even though she missed Teddy, that chapter of her life was over. She was ready to move on with Edward, who loved her, whom she loved.

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As soon as they reached their cottage, Edward and Jean unpacked their things and went to bed. Both of them were very tired from their long journey.

A few hours later, Edward woke up, and, looking down at his wife, smiled. He could not believe that he was married to the love of his life, Jean Brodie Lloyd. To him, she was even more beautiful than the first day they had met, even though Time had left its mark. She had a few wrinkles now, and a few strands of white in her otherwise shining gold hair. Age had been far less kind to him; at sixty-five, he now had a full head of grey hair and quite a few wrinkles, but then he was fifteen years older than her.

Jean began to stir, opening her beautiful blue eyes.

“Hello, Edward,” she said, smiling softly up at him.

“Hello, Jean,” he replied, kissing her lightly. She wrapped her arms around him, encouraging him to lie on top of her. She broke out of the kiss with a gasp as she felt his erection growing firm against her abdomen.

“Oh, Edward, I love you,” she whispered as he kissed her neck. She reached down to stroke his erection, and he pulled back from her, looking down into his wife’s eyes.

“I love you, Jean,” he said, and entered her.

He had not been inside her for nearly thirteen years – they had consciously refrained from having sex before they had married, even though they were sleeping together, in the more traditional sense, at least – and it took all of his willpower not to lose control.

“Oh, God, Edward!” she cried, rolling her hips against his. She wrapped her legs around his hips, urging him to thrust harder within her. “Oh, yes!” she yelled as she began to come. He climaxed as well, falling on top of her.

She snuggled up in his arms, resting her head against his chest, her legs entangled with his. She tried to catch her breath – making love with him now was infinitely better than it had been the last time they had made love, nearly thirteen years ago.

“Oh, Edward,” she sighed happily. “That was wonderful.”

“Mmm, yes, it was,” he replied, nuzzling her hair.

“I love you, Edward,” she said, kissing his chest.

“And I love you, darling,” he replied, stroking her hair.

“You don’t regret waiting for me for nearly thirteen years?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Of course not, Jean,” he said, looking down at her, shocked. “Why would you think that?”

“I know that I’m not pretty anymore,” she told him. “I’m old – fifty! I can no longer have children. Would you really have married me if Teddy had not asked you to?”

“Jean, you are more beautiful to me now than when we first met. And your age doesn’t matter to me in the slightest – I’m fifteen years older than you, after all. As for children, you know that I love your boys as though they were mine. I would have asked you to marry me even if Teddy’s last wishes were for me to never see you again. I love you, Jean – I’ve never loved anyone else.”

“I love you, too, Edward,” she replied, kissing him again. She smiled up at him, then rolled out of bed. “I’ll make us some tea, all right?”

He got out of bed as well. “Why don’t we go for a swim afterwards?” he asked.

“All right,” she smiled at him, and they walked through to the kitchen.

After their tea, Jean and Edward went for a swim, making love in the ocean, on the beach, back in their room... They had not been together for so long, and both of them wanted to make up for their lost time.

Jean loved making love with Edward – he was so considerate, so wonderful – he pleasured her first before allowing himself release. He was so wonderful, so loving, so caring – but sometimes she just wanted him to take the initiative when they made love, not always seek her permission. She wanted him to step outside of the box, like Teddy had. But they had time, and, with time, he would hopefully lose his inhibitions.

Edward was careful when he made love to Jean, always restraining himself. She was such a treasure to him, and he never wanted to hurt her or make her feel like she was not the most precious thing in his life. He always wanted her to know that she came first for him, before all others. He loved Jean, loved her with all his heart, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

Later that afternoon, after lunch, they called the boys. Both Duncan and William were well, and they each talked to Jean and Edward for a few minutes.

After their phone call, Edward made them a simple dinner of pasta. They ate it outside on the verandah, overlooking the ocean.

After dinner, they washed up together and then went for a walk along the beach.

“I can’t believe we’re here again, after nearly thirteen years,” Jean said, looking up at her husband lovingly.

“Nor can I,” Edward replied, squeezing her hand lightly. “I have loved you for so long, darling, and I am so glad to be your husband.”

“As am I,” Jean replied. “I love you, Edward.” She stepped into his embrace, and they watched the sun set.

After their walk, Jean went to bed – she was still quite tired from planning their wedding, even though it had been very small and private. Her husband’s death had taken quite a toll on her strength, and she was still recovering, even three months later. She fell asleep almost immediately.

Edward sat out on the verandah for a bit, smoking a cigarette. He stared out at the ocean and thought of his wife.

He loved her, he did, and he could not believe that they were married at long last. He wanted nothing more than to take care of her, love her, and cherish her for the rest of their lives.

He reached the end of his cigarette and stubbed it out. He then walked into their bedroom and got undressed, slipping into bed next to his new wife. She turned towards him in her sleep, seeking out his warmth. He smiled tenderly down at her and enfolded Jean into his embrace. He fell asleep, his head resting against hers, their arms wrapped around each other.

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Edward woke up first once more and slipped out of bed to make breakfast. Jean woke up while he was in the kitchen.

“Edward?” she called out, sitting up in bed.

“I’m in the kitchen!” he called back. She got out of bed and shrugged into her dressing gown, then padded into the kitchen. He was standing at the oven, making an omelette. She came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She rested her cheek against his upper back.

“Good morning,” she said. He turned in her arms, bending down to kiss her nose lightly. She smiled up at him.

“Good morning, Jean,” he replied, turning back around to take the omelette off the gas. He split the omelette in half and put half on each plate.

“Shall we eat outside?” Jean suggested, going to the drawer to pull out two sets of silverware and two napkins. He brought the plates outside and she followed him. They had a quiet, simple breakfast outside.

“Edward?” she asked her husband later that afternoon as they lay on the beach.

“Yes, darling?” he asked, rolling onto his side to look down at her.

She blushed. “I don’t know how to say it,” she said.

He smiled down at her. “You can tell me anything, darling – I hope you know that,” he said.

“I do,” she replied, smiling again, though she was still blushing. “Edward, when we make love, I was wondering if you would... well, if you would... take more initiative in bed, I suppose,” she said, her face flushed.

“What do you mean?” he asked her, confused.

“I love it when you make love to me, Edward, I do – I was just wondering if you would, well, not seek my permission for everything. I appreciate it, I do,” she said, reassuring him, “But you don’t need to. I love you, Edward, and more importantly, I trust you, and I know that you love me and won’t hurt me. Please, won’t you take me the way you want to?” she asked him.

“Are you sure, Jean?” he asked her, caressing her cheek.

“Oh, yes, Edward,” she replied, her breathing growing faster as his hand slipped down to her breasts. He spread her legs, kneeling between them, and lifted her ankles up to his shoulders.

He guided his erection into her, beginning to pump within her. Jean’s head dropped back and she moaned. Opening her eyes, she watched his face as he thrust. His eyes were closed and his face bore an expression of utter concentration. She began to come, and she could no longer see his face. She was lost in a state of utter bliss and could only feel the waves of pleasure that washed over her. Finally, she drifted down from the heights of ecstasy and looked down at her husband, whose head was resting against her chest. She stroked his hair lightly, and he looked up at her.

“Edward, that was wonderful,” she whispered, “Absolutely marvellous.” She had never reached those heights of pleasure with Edward before, and only rarely with Teddy in the later years of their marriage.

“It was,” Edward agreed, propping himself up on his elbow. He stroked her hair, smiling down at her.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, pushing himself up off the sand. He extended a hand down to Jean, and she took it, standing up.

She stepped into his embrace and kissed him. “I love you, Edward,” she said.

He smiled down at her. “I love you, too.”

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Jean and Edward spent the rest of their honeymoon making love and making up for lost time. They called the boys once a week and Jean wrote to them three times a week, mailing the postcards from the general store.

In addition to their love-making, Jean and Edward walked along the beaches, went swimming, and just enjoyed their time together. It was the first time in nearly thirteen years they were alone together, and now they had two months together. Jean loved spending time with her husband – she and Edward got along so well, much better than she and Teddy had.

In 1930, she had seen Noel Coward’s play “Private Lives” at the King’s Theatre in Edinburgh. She and Teddy were just like the two main characters, Elyot and Amanda, while Edward was like Victor – the stable, reliable husband.

A certain line of Amanda’s clearly highlighted the ups and downs of their marriage: “I think very few people are completely normal really, deep down in their private lives. It all depends on a combination of circumstances. If all the various cosmic thingummys fuse at the same moment, and the right spark is struck, there's no knowing what one mightn't do. That was the trouble with Elyot and me, we were like two violent acids bubbling about in a nasty little matrimonial bottle.” That quote almost perfectly described her first marriage – wild, tempestuous, passionate – but also unstable. Edward was so loving, so caring, and he was stable, reliable, and utterly, utterly wonderful to her. Edward just wanted to take care of her, protect her from the world, and shelter her. She loved that he thought that she was precious enough to love her in such a complete and caring way.

And she loved him too, loved him so much. He was her white knight, rescuing her from the ashes of her former marriage. But she was terrified that he had put her on a pedestal, that he only loved the image of her and not who she actually was. She hoped that this was not the case, for she did love him, did want him, did need him.

Later that day, after dinner, Jean talked to Edward about her past.

“I was engaged to a man named Hugh Carruthers during the Great War,” Jean began. “He was six years older than me, and we met in Ayrshire, where we both grew up. He was the first man I ever kissed and the first man I ever slept with. I loved him so much, and I thought that I would never be able to move on after he died on Flanders’ Field.

“The next serious relationship in my life was with Teddy. We fell in love as soon as I started at Marcia Blaine, and at the end of my first year of teaching, he asked if I would model for him. I agreed, and we tumbled into bed later that night. I fled to Italy and refused to return to the studio, at least until a few days before I was dismissed from Marcia Blaine.

“After Teddy there was Gordon Lowther, the music teacher. I had persuaded him to invite me to his home one weekend so that I would have an excuse not to join Teddy at the studio, and I seduced him. We were together for nearly four years, and then we slowly drifted apart. He married one of the other teachers, and the night that his engagement was announced, Teddy and I began our affair again.

“In between Gordon and Teddy, I had a few liaisons during my summer holidays. The longest one lasted two months, and that was my affair with a man in Italy. I also had a brief relationship with my dragoman during my holiday in Egypt in 1932.

“I thought that you deserved to know this, Edward,” she said. “I know that I should have told you before we married, just in case you don’t want me anymore. But I didn’t, and I am sorry.”

He smiled down at her. “I love you, Jean, and nothing will change that – not even if you slept with a hundred men,” he said. “Thank you for telling me, though.”

She smiled back at him. “You’re not mad?” she asked hopefully.

“These affairs happened before I met you, darling – I won’t judge you for decisions you made years before I knew you.”

“Thank you,” she sighed in relief, stepping into his arms. “I love you, Edward.”

He kissed her on the forehead. “In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you about my personal life,” he said. “My first real romance was during my time at the London School of Economics. Her name was Moira Wharton, and she was my first love. We saw each other for about four years, but we ended our relationship because I wanted to return to Australia and she wanted to stay in England.

“My next relationship was with Heather Tenant. She was the younger sister of one of my friends from Parliament. I courted her for five years, but she ended the relationship when she realised I was not in love with her.

“I had three more relationships, each lasting about two years, and they all ended the same way, when they or I realised that the relationship would never progress to the marital stage. I had never thought that I would love anyone until I met you, my darling. I love you so much.”

She smiled up at her husband. “I love you, too,” she said and took his hand, leading him to bed.

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Though it seemed as though time stood still on Matlock Island, their honeymoon eventually came to an end. Two months after they were married, Jean and Edward took the ferry back to Townsville and then flew back to Sydney. Edward hailed a cab, which drove them back to the house.

It was just after dinner, and the boys were seated in the living room, working on their homework.

“We’re back!” Jean called out as they entered the house. The boys rushed into the hallway and swarmed their mother with hugs. “Hello, darlings,” Jean said, laughing as they squeezed her tightly. She kissed their heads lightly. “Let me look at you two,” Jean said, holding them back from her. They had both grown – William was nearly as tall as she was, and Duncan was a few centimetres taller than her. “You’ve both grown so much,” she said, smiling at them. “Let’s go into the living room, shall we?”

Edward came up behind them, carrying their bags. “Duncan, can you help Edward bring the suitcases upstairs?” Jean asked, and her older son nodded. Jean and William went into the living room.

“It’s good to have you back, Mummy,” William said, giving her a hug.

“It’s good to be back,” Jean said, returning her son’s hug. Duncan and Edward came downstairs, and Edward joined Jean on the couch, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into his embrace, smiling up at her husband.

“What are we supposed to call you now?” Duncan asked Edward. Jean looked up at Edward.

“You can call me Edward,” he said.

“All right, Edward,” Duncan said, testing his stepfather’s name out. Jean yawned.

“Sorry, darlings,” Jean apologised.

“That’s all right, dear,” Edward said, stroking her hair lightly. “Why don’t you go up to bed?” She nodded and stood up from the sofa.

“Good night, my darlings,” Jean said, kissing her sons’ foreheads lightly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night, Mummy,” William said, standing up to give her a hug.

“Good night, Mum,” Duncan said as well, kissing her lightly on the cheek. She smiled lovingly at her two sons, then turned to her husband, kissing him lightly on the lips.

“Good night,” she said once more and went up to bed.

Edward and the boys stayed downstairs for another hour or so, then went up to bed. Jean was fast asleep, her golden hair shining in the dim light. Edward stood there for a moment, just looking at her. She was so beautiful, and he loved her so much. A few minutes later, he got changed into his pyjamas and slipped into bed next to his wife. She turned to him, still asleep, seeking out his warmth. He wrapped his arms around her and, with one final kiss to her lips, fell asleep.

[kissofdeath]

aww they're finally married!!

omg, is this near the end of the story? *tear*

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Twelve


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As always, dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie.

Lines marked by an asterisk (*) are paraphrased from Robert Stephens’ autobiography, Knight Errant.

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Jean and Edward woke up early the next morning and got dressed, joining her sons for breakfast. After breakfast, Jean and Edward drove the boys to school, then drove into town to talk to the estate agent about selling Jean’s house. They put the house on the market. Jean and Edward had decided to place the money from the sale of the house in trust for the two boys, so that they would have something to rely on when they grew up.

After their stop to the estate agent, Edward and Jean went to the bank to see the state of Jean’s finances. Teddy had handled them, so Jean had no clue about the state of their economic affairs. She was quite shocked by the state of her finances. Teddy had squandered most of their money, leaving her with barely £100 in the bank. Jean was absolutely stunned. How could Teddy have done this – left his family with barely enough to live on for a month?

“Oh, my God,” Jean murmured, her hand at her breast.

“Don’t worry, Jean,” Edward soothed her. “It will be fine. I have plenty of money for us to live comfortably.”

“I can’t take your money, Edward,” she said, looking at him.

“We’re married now, Jean – it’s not my money, but our money,” he replied, taking her hand. “I love you, Jean, and I want to take care of you and the boys.”

She gave him a watery smile. “I love you, Edward,” she said, squeezing his hand.

The banker returned to the room, carrying a safe deposit box. “Mrs. Lloyd, your husband also had a safe deposit box. I’ll leave you to examine its contents.” The banker exited the room.

With trembling fingers, she opened the safe deposit box. She withdrew a bundle of letters, addressed to her, to Edward, to her sons, to Deirdre, and to their six children. Jean gathered them together and put them in her handbag. A sheaf of papers was beneath the letters, and Jean rifled through them. They seemed to be his memoirs. And beneath the memoirs were a stack of photographs, all of them of Jean – Jean with their sons, Jean at Marcia Blaine, Jean on the boat from Edinburgh to Australia, Jean in Australia, Jean in Edinburgh with their boys... dozens of pictures of Jean. Jean placed the memoirs and the photographs in her bag as well, then rang the bell. The banker came back in.

“We’d like to close the safe deposit box, please,” Jean said. “And we’d like to have the remaining balance of my accounts transferred to Mr. Lloyd’s account.”

“Of course,” the banker said. A half an hour later, Edward and Jean left the bank and went back to their house.

When they returned, Jean and Edward went into the living room to read the letters. They were written a month before Teddy died.

“Dear Jean,

I am sorry for all the pain I have caused you. I know that by the time you read this, you will realise that there is very little money left in our account, a result of poor investment decisions. I am sorry, my darling – and I feel so guilty for not telling you about them. I just did not want you to worry.

Jean, I have loved you for years, and these past sixteen years have been the happiest years of my life – well, except the three years we were separated. I love you so much, Jean – you have been the true love of my life. You are so wonderful, my darling, my dearest love, and I love you so much – and I will love you forever.

I know that Edward will take care of you, and I hope that you will be happy with him. I love you so much, Jean, and I hope that you and the boys will be happy. I know that I was not the best father to them, or the best husband to you, and I apologise. I am glad that they are so close to Edward – it will be easier for them to move on.

Jean, I want you to know that I have never stopped loving you, and I will never stop loving you. You are my Muse, Jean Brodie Lloyd, and the one true love of my life.

I love you, forever and always.

Teddy.”

Jean looked up from her letter, tears in her eyes. Edward was still reading his letter.

“Edward,

I am sorry to tell you that, as a result of very poor investments on my part, Jean and the boys have almost no money. I will admit that part of my motivation to make you promise to marry Jean, to make sure that she and the boys will be all right. I love her, Edward, even though my actions have often made her doubt it. I have loved her for over twenty years and I will never stop loving him.

I know that you love her too, Edward, and I hope that you can make her happy in the way that I never could. She does love you, Edward – I’ve heard her murmur your name in her sleep. Please take care of her and the boys for me – and I know that you will.

Could you please mail the letters to my first wife and our children? Thank you.

Thank you for everything,

Teddy.”

Edward looked up from his letter and looked down at his wife. “Are you all right, Jean?” Edward asked. She nodded, a bit shaky. “Why don’t you go up to bed, dear, and I’ll bring you a nice, hot cup of tea,” he suggested.

“All right,” she said, standing up. She walked upstairs as though she was in a trance. Edward looked down at the seven letters he held in his hand, and walked outside to mail them. He went back inside and entered the kitchen, ordering a cup of tea for his wife. Five minutes later, he brought the tea upstairs to his wife. She was sitting up in bed, clutching a photograph to her chest, and crying. He placed the cup of tea on the nightstand and sat down next to her, embracing her.

“Oh, Jean,” he sighed, rocking her back and forth. She clutched at him, sobbing. “Oh, my darling.” Slowly her sobs stopped, and she looked up at him.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Jean, it’s all right,” he soothed her. She gave him a small, trembling smile, and set the photograph back down on the nightstand – it was a photograph of Jean and Teddy’s wedding day. “Here, have some tea,” he suggested, and she nodded, taking the cup and drinking it slowly. “A bit better?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Thank you, Edward,” Jean said, curling up in his arms. He leaned back against the pillows, his wife in his arms, and kissed her forehead lightly. “What did your letter from Teddy say?” Jean asked.

“He asked me to take care of you and the boys,” Edward said, stroking her hair. “And I will, I promise.”

“Thank you, Edward,” Jean said, smiling up at him.

Just then they heard the door slam downstairs.

“Mum, we’re home!” Duncan called.

Jean sat up in bed. “I suppose we should give the boys their letters,” she said, getting out of bed. They walked downstairs, hand in hand.

“Hello, darlings,” Jean said, kissing her sons hello.

“Hello, Mum,” Duncan said.

“Hello, Mummy,” William said as well.

“We need to talk, dears,” Jean said, sitting down on the couch. She picked up her handbag and pulled out the letters to the boys.

“What is it, Mum?” Duncan asked.

“Edward and I went to the bank today to see the state of our finances,” Jean began. “We don’t have that much money left – only £130.”

“How are we going to live?” William asked, worried.

“I have plenty of money,” Edward interjected. “And we are selling your old house. The money will go into trust for you both, so you will have something to rely on when you grow up.”

“Thank you,” Duncan said, sighing in relief.

“Your father had a safety-deposit box, too,” Jean said. “He left you both letters.” She handed them to her sons, who opened them and began to read them. Both were very short.

“Dear Duncan,

I am sorry that I never spent much time with you or your brother, something that I greatly regret. I am sorry, also, that you knew about the affairs I had when you were young. That was not something that you should have known about, and I am sorry that you had to find out. I always loved you, your brother, and your mother – my affairs did not stop me from loving you.

I am very proud of you, Duncan – you are growing up to be a marvellous person – a much better person than I ever was.

Your father,

Teddy.”

“Dear William,

As I wrote in your brother’s letter, I am sorry that I never spent much time with either of you, something that I truly regret. But know that just because I was never around did not mean that I don’t love you – I do. I am sorry, William.

But know that I am very proud of you – I will always be proud of you.

I love you, William.

Your father,

Teddy.”

The boys looked up at their mother and stepfather.

“Was there anything else in the safe deposit box?” William asked curiously.

Jean nodded. “Your father’s memoirs and some photographs,” she replied.

“Photographs?” Duncan asked. “Can we see them?”

She nodded again, pulling them out of her handbag. Her sons sat on either side of her.

“I’ll make some tea,” Edward said, standing up from his seat on the couch.

“Thank you,” Jean said, looking up at her husband. She shot him a brief smile and then turned back to the pictures.

Jean and her sons looked through the pictures, starting with the earliest ones – her at Marcia Blaine. She hadn’t known that he had taken these photographs.

“When was this, Mummy?” William asked, pointing at a picture of her sitting under a tree with a group of girls – her girls.

“That must have been in... hmm, 1934,” Jean said, smiling softly. “That’s Jenny,” Jean said, indicating the girl to her right.

“Jenny? Really?” Duncan asked.

“Yes, when she was twelve,” Jean said. “That’s Monica, that’s Mary, and that’s Sandy,” Jean said. Finally, after sixteen years, she was able to say Sandy’s name normally.

“What happened to them?” William asked.

“Well, you know that Jenny married Richard,” Jean began. “Monica is now a member of the Royal Court Theatre in London, and Sandy entered a nunnery.”

“What about the other girl – Mary?” Duncan asked.

“She died when she was sixteen. The train that she was on was blown up,” Jean said sadly.

“Oh,” William said.

Jean set the picture aside – she did not want to dwell on the past – and picked up the next one. It was of Jean, sitting under the oak tree at their old home while she was pregnant with Duncan.

“Where is this?” Duncan asked her.

“This was at your father’s and my house in Edinburgh, in the back yard,” Jean said. “This was when I was pregnant with you, Duncan,” Jean said. They turned to the next picture, which was of Jean standing at the bow of ship heading to Edinburgh, smiling at Teddy. Jean smiled at the memory of happier times. The next picture of note was of Jean holding Duncan, just after he was born. She smiled at that picture – that had been one of the happiest days of her life.

There was a gap of nearly four years between that picture and the next one – though Teddy had only been away for three years, he had not spent a lot of time around the house, and had not taken any pictures. The next picture was of Jean and Duncan smiling in the park. There were about fifty more pictures after that one, which included pictures of Jean and William right after his birth, Jean and the boys in the park, Jean and Duncan walking to school, and Jean and the boys in Edinburgh. The final picture was not one that Teddy had taken, but was of them kissing at their wedding. Tears came to Jean’s eyes – the looked so happy. She brushed them away, exasperated with herself. She had already spent too much time crying over her husband – when he was alive and when he was dead.

They finally looked up from the photographs – there was a tray full of tea things, a note propped up against the teapot. She opened it.

“Jean, I went to the store to get the groceries. I love you, Edward.”

“Edward went to get some groceries,” Jean said, looking up from the note. “Duncan, will you pour the tea? I need to get a box from upstairs to put the photos in.”

Her older son nodded and poured the tea while Jean went upstairs, returning a few minutes later with a small wooden box. She placed the photographs in it and placed the box on the bookshelf near the fire.

She and her boys drank the tea, talking about their day at school. It was very cosy and homelike, and Jean revelled in it. She loved them both so much.

Six hours later, Jean was waiting in bed for her husband, who was in the bathroom, taking a shower. She rummaged through her nightstand drawer and pulled out the sheaf of papers that consisted of her husband’s memoirs.

“I fell in love with Jean Brodie when I was thirty eight years old, when I had been married for seven years and had four children with my wife. Deirdre was a stable, reliable woman, the perfect wife for anyone, but Jean was passionate, fiery... alive.* I had never met anyone like her before.

She was so beautiful, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and she was not only beautiful, but smart – truly a woman in her prime, as she loved to declare. Jean was dedicated to her students, dedicated to a fault, which separated us for so many years. But she was wonderful, absolutely wonderful, such a breath of fresh air, striking across my bows like a splash of seawater.*

I was obsessed with the desire to paint Jean, and she finally agreed to model for me. She came to my studio at the end of her first year teaching, and we fell into bed later that night. When we woke up the next morning, we both knew that we would never be the same again.”

Edward entered the room and Jean set the manuscript down.

“What are you reading, Jean?” he asked her curiously.

“Teddy’s memoirs,” Jean replied, setting the sheaf of papers back in her nightstand drawer.

He smiled down at her and climbed into bed.

“It’s very good,” Jean said.

“Does it have a title?” Edward asked.

She pulled the manuscript out of her dresser drawer and turned to the first page, smiling sadly as she read the title. “It’s called ‘The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie’,” Jean said, tears coming to her eyes. “Let’s go to sleep, shall we?” she suggested, not wanting to cry again. She set the memoirs aside.

“All right,” Edward replied, leaning over to kiss her good night.

“I love you,” Jean said.

“I love you, too,” he replied. He smiled down at her and turned off the lights. She snuggled up to him, resting her head against his chest, and fell asleep.

[kissofdeath]

awww. That was so sweet!

How is Robert Stephens' bio? Anything interesting in it? Is that the book that mentions how Maggie beat him up when she found out about his affairs?

[dianahawthorne]

Dec 31, 2008 17:15:04 GMT -5 kissofdeath said:

awww. That was so sweet!

How is Robert Stephens' bio? Anything interesting in it? Is that the book that mentions how Maggie beat him up when she found out about his affairs?

It's a good book, but FULL of his affairs. It does give a lot of insight into his relationship with Maggie, though, and it has some great pictures.

Anyway, it does talk about the rumour that Maggie beat him up when she discovered he was having an affair with Vanessa Redgrave, but she did not beat him up. He fell or was injured in a play (can't remember which), and there was an article published saying that Maggie hit him. She never did, though.

[kissofdeath]

LOL!

Did you order it online through amazon or something? Because I've looked through barnes and noble but they don't have it.

[dianahawthorne]

The only reasonably priced copies are on amazon.co.uk - it's $65 on amazon.com.

Anyway, no, I don't own a copy - I borrowed it from my college library.

[kissofdeath]

ooh, ok.

65 bucks? Screw that! I got my Maggie Bio for 10 bucks!

[Katheryn Mae]

I readed. I got time while being distracted about five times.

I love it.

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Thirteen


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As always, dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie

Lines marked with an asterisk (*) are paraphrased from Muriel Spark’s book “The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie”.

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Over the next few days, Jean finished reading Teddy’s memoirs, which were about the two of them. The book was a tribute of love to her, but what saddened her was that he had never shown her that much love when he was alive. The book was wonderful, though it did include enormous amounts of personal details. Jean wanted to have the book published, as it was wonderfully written, but she did not want the public to read about their love-making or her affair with Gordon Lowther.

After she finished the book, Edward read it. Jean wanted his opinion on whether or not she should try to get his memoirs published.

“When her second year of prime began, I tried to get her to come visit me at the studio so that she could see her portrait. She refused, citing an outing with Gordon Lowther as an excuse. She claimed that they were going sailing, which they did. The Monday after Jean went to Lowther’s estate at Cramond, I saw them kissing in the corridor. When they broke apart, he looked down at her with love, while she looked at him possessively.* I knew that she did not love him, but it still hurt me that she was with him and not me.

I was angry with Jean, angry that she would not come back to me. It was my fault, I knew – after we had spent the night together, I had left early in the morning to return to my family, as I knew Deirdre would be expecting me. She must have felt betrayed, abandoned, and as though she meant nothing to me, but she did – I was just denying it to myself.

Later that summer, while she was in Italy, I received a brief, impersonal postcard from her: “The incomparable Giotto frescoes; how triumphantly his figures vibrate with life! Yours truly, J. Brodie.”

Was she really mine truly? I wanted her to be, but I knew that it was my fault for not showing her that I loved her, that she was more than a casual fling. I did love her – she was the most beautiful, most sensual, most beguiling woman I had ever known. Making love to her... it was marvellous. The feel of her bare skin against mine, her scent – like lilacs and roses – the silkiness of her hair, her warm body snuggled against mine... she was wonderful, and I loved her, loved her more than I had loved anyone before or since.”

Edward was even more uncomfortable than Jean when he read Teddy’s quite explicit descriptions of their love-making – Jean, at least, had been there, so it was not too embarrassing for her to remember those times. But Edward felt like a voyeur.

“Finally, after five years of separation, Jean and I began our affair again. I had confronted her with the news that her former lover, Gordon Lowther, was getting married to Heather Lockhart, one of our colleagues. She fled, running into the garden, where I confronted her again, ripping the veils of romance from her view of life. I offered her my love once more, for the final time, and though I did not expect her to accept it, she did.

That night, we went back to the studio so that she could see her portrait after five years – it was the best work that I had done until then.

“It’s perfect, Teddy,” Jean breathed.

“It’s the best work I’ve ever done,” I said proudly, beaming as she smiled at me.

“Can I see the portraits of my girls?” she asked me curiously. I nodded, leading her over to a stack of paintings. There were several paintings of Jenny, a portrait of Monica, and one of Sandy. And all the portraits did indeed look like her.

“I love you, Jean,” I said, kneeling at her feet.

“And I love you, Teddy,” she replied, pulling me up off my knees. She took my hands in hers and encouraged me to embrace her. Stretching up to kiss me, she began to step back to the bed even as our tongues danced with each other. She fell back onto the bed, and I released her from my embrace so that I could undress. She pulled off her knickers and threw them to the ground before unfastening her dress and shimmying out of it.

Finally naked, I sat on the edge of the narrow bed I kept in my studio and reached out, caressing first her cheek, then her neck, breasts, stomach, hips... she parted her legs for me and I slipped a finger into her. Her breathing began to come in gasps, and I grew more aroused as I watched her writhe with pleasure. She began to come as I slipped another finger inside of her. I lowered my mouth to her breasts and began to tease her nipple with my tongue.

When she had drifted down from her climax, I withdrew my fingers and brought them to my mouth, tasting her juices, grinning impishly as she watched me.

“You are such a naughty boy, Teddy!” she exclaimed, and my grin grew wider.

“Would you like to be naughty with me?” I asked her.

She nodded, her eyes growing darker as she rolled me onto my back and straddled my legs. Giving me one last smile, she took my penis into her mouth, running her tongue around the head, one hand giving my balls a gentle massage.

I groaned, a deep, primal sound, and allowed her to continue until I was on the brink of orgasm, when I pulled her up.

“Now, Teddy?” she asked me, positioning herself so that my cock was pressing against her entrance. I nodded, and she let herself sink down onto me. “Aah, yes!” she cried out as I filled her completely.

“Jean!” I shouted her name as she rode me. She began to come again, and I rolled her onto her back, encouraging her to wrap her legs around my hips. I continued to thrust in her, prolonging her orgasm. I finally climaxed when she peaked for a third time, collapsing on top of her.

“Oh, Teddy, how could ever have lived without you?” she whispered in my ear as we lay together in bed.

“When you were not with me, Jean, I was not living – I was just going through the motions of life. But it was not living – only when I am with you am I living,” I told her.”

Yes, scenes like that – which occurred quite frequently in Teddy’s book – made Edward very uncomfortable – and jealous. His and Jean’s love life was very fulfilling, but he was reluctant to make love to her in those ways, though he wanted to. His very strict upbringing had made him hesitant to try anything new, though he wanted to. Jean had already helped him to leave behind so many of his inhibitions, and for that he was grateful. He loved her so much, and he wanted to make her happy – both in and out of bed.

Jean did want him to take her the way that Teddy used to, but was too nervous to ask him to. He had already lost so many of his inhibitions, and she did not want to push him too far too fast. And she did love him as he was, and while she did not love him as much as she had loved Teddy, it was close, and she liked him, liked spending time with him, far more than she had liked Teddy. She had loved Teddy, but she hadn’t liked him very much, especially in the last years of their marriage.

But Edward was a completely different story – they had many of the same interests (yes, she and Teddy had had the artistic temperament in common, but while that was all well and good for fuelling the flames of their love, it was not conducive to spending a quiet evening by the fire) and he truly cared about her. He remembered everything that she said and often surprised her with a flower, a small box of her favourite candies, a new book that she had wanted to read – little things that Teddy never did.

While she and Teddy had been lovers more so than husband and wife, Jean and Edward were partners and companions. Jean loved to spend time with Edward, and not just in bed (though she enjoyed that too), but enjoyed spending her leisure time with him.

And Edward was a wonderful stepfather to the boys – he truly loved them as though they were his own. He went out of his way to make sure that they were happy and doing well at school – when Duncan was struggling with maths, Edward spent hours going over the problems with him. When William tried out for the squash team, Edward practised with him, and William made the team.

And he got them the most thoughtful birthday gifts – he always had, even before Teddy had died and Jean and Edward had married – but even more so after he became their stepfather. He always made time for them, and Jean loved him for that.

“Jean was dismissed from Marcia Blaine on the grounds of teaching fascism, betrayed by one of her own girls, the one that she had trusted the most – Sandy Stranger. The girl that I had had an affair with. Jean was devastated – teaching was her life – that was the reason that she had refused to be with me for so many years.

I handed in my resignation the next day, and we were married two days after she was dismissed. My wife had discovered our affair, and she had applied for and received an annulment, so I was free to marry the love of my life, Jean Brodie. We had a very quiet, private wedding at the courthouse, two clerks as our witnesses.

After our wedding, we walked the two blocks to my house – well, our house.

After I unlocked the door, I scooped her up into my arms and carried her over the threshold as she giggled girlishly.

“Would you like the grand tour, Mrs. Lloyd?” I asked Jean, whose face lit up at the sound of her new name.

“Later, Teddy, later – right now I just need you,” she told me, looking up at me adoringly.

I smiled at her statement and carried her up the stairs to the bedroom.

“Teddy, please do be careful!” she giggled as I spun her around at the top of the stairs. I smiled down at her, and brought her in to the bedroom.

“Oh, Teddy,” she whispered when I finally set her down. I pulled her to me.

“Jean,” I breathed, unzipping her dress. “My darling, darling Jean; my dearest love; my darling, darling wife...”

She began to unbutton my shirt.

“Teddy, my husband,” she said, smiling widely. “Oh, how good it is to finally be married to you!” she exclaimed, and I smiled down at her, pausing in the act of undressing her to lead her to the mirror that hung across from the bed. I stood behind her, wrapping my arms around her, and we looked at our reflection.

“Mr. and Mrs. Teddy Lloyd,” she whispered, smiling up at me.

“Mr. and Mrs. Teddy Lloyd,” I repeated, kissing the back of her neck. I resumed the process of undressing her, and she turned in my arms, which allowed her to continue undressing me as well. When we were finally naked, she pulled me onto the bed. I entered her almost immediately, such was the strength of my desire. When I entered her, we gasped at the completeness we felt, infinitely more so than the other times we had made love. Our bodies moved together as one, and together we reached the heights of passion we had never known to exist. In perfect concert with each other, we came simultaneously, calling out the other’s name.

“Oh, Jean, Jean,” I whispered into her ear.

“That was absolutely incredible,” she said softly, stroking my chest.

“Yes, it was,” I replied, holding her close to me.

A movement across the room caught her eye, and she looked over her shoulder at it – it was their reflection in the mirror. She twisted around in my arms so that she could stare at our reflection in the mirror that hung across from the bed. She smiled at our reflection – we looked so happy.

“Look at us, Teddy,” she whispered, pointing at the mirror. I did, sitting up against the pillows in our bed and pulling her back into my embrace.

“You look so beautiful, Jean,” I said, my eyes focussed on her reflection. “Absolutely radiant.”

She smiled and blushed. “No, not at me – at US. We look so perfect together,” she said, continuing to stare at our reflection, transfixed at the sight of herself in my arms.

I tore my eyes away from her reflection and looked at us. We did indeed look perfect together – she fit in my arms like she was made to go there. My own dark head was resting against her golden one, and our naked bodies were pressed against each other. We fit together so perfectly – we completed each other. I was dark, she was fair; I was tall, she was small and delicate. We were two halves of a whole – and we were meant to be together forever. She scooted down to the edge of the bed and perched on it; I joined her.

“Yes, we do,” I whispered to her. I could feel myself becoming aroused. She could see my growing erection in the mirror, and she tore her eyes away from our reflection, turning to me.

“Turn back around, Jean,” I whispered, placing my hands on her shoulders, turning her so that she faced the mirror again. I stood, pulling her up with me, and stepped behind her. Sitting down on the edge of the bed again, I held my erection in one hand as I pulled her down onto his lap with the other. She moaned with pleasure as she lowered herself onto me.

We kept our eyes on our reflection as we made love. She watched me as I moved within her, and once more we cried out as one as we reached the heights of passion together.

As we recovered, we lay back on the bed, snuggled in each other’s arms.

“That was amazing,” I whispered to her, stroking her hair.

“Yes, oh yes,” she said. “It was marvellous.”

We moved back up the bed, getting under the covers, leaning back against the pillows. Jean stayed curled up in my arms, her eyes closed, smiling as I stroked her hair.

“I love you so much, Teddy Lloyd,” she said. “I am so glad to be your wife.”

“And I love you, Jean Brodie,” I began, but Jean interrupted me.

“No, no, no; it’s Jean Lloyd now,” she told me, smiling up at me. I kissed her lips.

“I love you, Jean Lloyd,” I said seriously, looking into her eyes, taking her hands and entwining my fingers with hers. I brought our joined hands up to my lips, kissing her fingertips lightly. She placed her other hand on my cheek and smiled at me; I closed my eyes and held her hand to my cheek. “I love you, Jean Lloyd,” I repeated, opening my eyes to look down at her. She smiled once more up at me before closing her eyes again and placing her head against my chest, listening to my heartbeat, letting the steady rhythm lull her to sleep.

I stayed awake, looking at our reflection in the mirror. We really were perfect together, absolutely perfect. We had been made for each other, were destined to be together. As I looked at our reflection, I smiled, placing a kiss on top of my wife’s head.

Wife. It used to be such an ugly word to me, at least when I was married to Deirdre, because it had kept me and Jean apart. But now, now that I was married to the woman I loved, it was one of the most beautiful words in the world.

“I love you, Jean Lloyd,” I whispered to my sleeping wife, before going to sleep myself.”

“I don’t think that we should try to get the book published,” Jean said to Edward one night while they were in bed.

“Why not?” Edward asked. “It is very good.”

“Edward, I know that reading the manuscript has made you uncomfortable. It’s made me uncomfortable. I don’t want details of my sex life with Teddy out in public for the boys to see – it’s not right.”

“It’s your decision, Jean,” Edward said. “I won’t lie to you and say that reading Teddy’s book hasn’t made me uncomfortable – it has. But it is a good book.”

“You don’t have to finish it, Edward,” Jean said. “I’m sorry for asking you to read it in the first place,” she apologised, stroking his cheek lightly. “It was not very considerate of me.”

“It’s all right, Jean,” Edward said, smiling down softly at her.

“I love you, Edward,” Jean said.

“I love you, too, my darling,” he replied, kissing her lightly. She smiled up at him, eyes full of love. She curled up in his arms and rested her head against his chest, pulling his arms tighter around her.

“Never leave me, Edward – please, never leave me,” she begged him.

“If I ever leave you, it won’t be by choice, darling,” he said.

“Thank you,” she murmured, kissing his chest. “I love you.”

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Fourteen


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As always, dedicated to kissofdeath and KristaMarie.

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Two weeks after Jean and Edward decided not to publish Teddy’s memoirs, Jean received a telegram from Teddy’s first wife, Deirdre.

Jean STOP The children and I are coming to Australia for a month STOP We will be arriving on March 13th on the HMS Monmouth STOP Deirdre Lloyd STOP

They received the telegram on March 5th, and Jean immediately panicked. The boys still did not know that they had three half-sisters and three half-brothers. They did not know that their father had been married before he had married Jean.

Later that evening, Jean and Edward sat the boys down.

“Duncan, William, I have something to tell you,” Jean began, incredibly nervous. Edward squeezed her hand reassuringly. “And I’m sorry that your father and I didn’t tell you this before, but we never thought that we would have to.”

“What is it, Mum?” Duncan asked.

“Your father was married to someone else when we met,” Jean said, closing her eyes. “A woman named Deirdre. And your father and Deirdre had six children – your half-siblings.”

“What?!” William exclaimed, standing up from the sofa. “We have brothers and sisters that you never told us about? Why?”

“Deirdre never wanted to see your father again, and she took your brothers and sisters to Ireland,” Jean explained. “We never thought that you would need to know. I’m sorry, darlings.”

“Why are you telling us about this now?” Duncan asked her calmly.

“Deirdre and the children are arriving on the thirteenth,” Jean said. “They’re staying for a month.”

“How old are they? What are their names?” William asked curiously, though he was still angry at his mother.

Edward jumped in. “You have three half-sisters – Siobhan, who is twenty-seven; Kathleen, who is twenty-four; and Aileen, who is nineteen; and three half-brothers – Connor, who is twenty-five; Brendan, who is twenty-three; and Kieran, who is twenty-one.”

“Do you know them?” Duncan asked Edward.

“I know Siobhan and Connor, but I don’t know the other four,” Edward said.

Jean looked up at him, surprised. She did not know that Edward knew Teddy’s oldest children.

“Why are they coming?” William asked.

“I’m not sure,” Jean admitted. “I know that your father wrote them letters before he died, and I assume that he asked them to come to visit us.”

“Where are they going to stay?” asked Duncan.

“I’ve booked several rooms at the Dunkirk Hotel two blocks away,” Edward replied. “I’ll also have the guest rooms prepared, in case they would rather stay here.”

“I can’t wait to meet them,” William said, excited. It seemed that he had forgiven his mother for keeping the existence of his half-siblings a secret – at least he had forgiven her for the time being.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’ve met Teddy’s oldest children?” Jean asked him later that night.

“Yes, when I went to Edinburgh twenty five years ago,” Edward said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jean asked.

“I didn’t think that it mattered,” he explained. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Jean forgave him. “Did you know them well?”

“No, not particularly,” Edward said. “I only met them a few times.”

“What is Deirdre like?” Jean asked, changing the subject slightly.

“She is a very kind woman, very dedicated to her children – not particularly religious,” he said.

“Is she beautiful?” Jean asked. “I only met her once, very briefly, when she discovered that Teddy and I were having an affair.”

“Yes, she is,” Edward replied. “But not nearly as beautiful as you.”

Jean smiled up at him and pulled his arms tightly around her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Jean,” Edward said, kissing her on the forehead. “I love you, too.”

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Eight days later, Jean, Edward, Duncan, and William waited for the H.M.S. Monmouth to dock. Edward recognised Deirdre first and called out to her. She and her six children made their way over to the Lloyds.

“Hello, Deirdre,” Edward said, embracing her.

“Hello, Edward,” Deirdre replied.

Jean was standing nervously behind Edward, Duncan’s arm wrapped around her shoulder protectively, William standing beside her.

Deirdre turned to Jean.

“Deirdre, this is Jean,” Edward said, and Deirdre turned to her. She really was a beautiful woman, with long brown hair slightly streaked with gray; large green eyes; and a slender figure. She was about Jean’s height.

“Hello, Jean,” Deirdre said cordially. Jean was quite shocked by this friendly greeting – she had assumed that Deirdre would hold the fact that Jean had stolen Teddy away from her against her. After all, she had discovered them both in Teddy’s studio all those years ago.

“Hello, Deirdre,” Jean said, shaking herself out of her reverie.

“This is Siobhan, Connor, Kathleen, Brendan, Kieran, and Aileen,” Deirdre said. Each of them smiled slightly.

“This is Duncan and William,” Jean introduced her sons to Deirdre and their half-siblings. There was a very clear familial resemblance among all of Teddy’s children.

“Why don’t we go back to the house?” Edward suggested, and they all agreed. They piled into Edward’s car and drove back to the house. They all gathered in the living room, and one of the maids brought in tea and sandwiches for everyone.

“I’ve booked rooms for you all at the Dunkirk Hotel, and we’ve also prepared the guest rooms for you if you’d prefer to stay here,” Edward said.

Deirdre and her children exchanged glances. “We’ll stay here, thank you,” Deirdre said.

“I’ll show you to your rooms,” Jean said, standing up. Deirdre and the children followed her.

“Siobhan and Kathleen, this is your room,” Jean said, opening the door. “Aileen, this is yours; Connor and Brendan, this is your room; Kieran, this is your room; and Deirdre, this is your room. I’ll have one of the maids bring up your luggage,” Jean said. “I’m sure that you all would like to freshen up.”

“Thank you, Jean,” Deirdre said.

“We’ll have supper ready when come back down,” Jean said, smiling nervously. Deirdre’s children went into their rooms to freshen up.

“Jean, could I speak to you for a moment, please?” Deirdre asked.

“Of course,” Jean said, stepping into Deirdre’s room. Deirdre closed the door behind them.

“Please, sit down,” Deidre said, and Jean sat down on the chair in front of the vanity.

“Deirdre, before you say anything, I want to apologise for taking Teddy away from you,” Jean said, looking down into her lap. She was embarrassed.

“It’s all right, Jean – I’ve forgiven you for that a long time ago – so have the children,” Deirdre said, and Jean looked up at her.

“Thank you,” Jean said, letting out a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much.”

“I wanted to show you the letter I received from Teddy,” Deirdre said, pulling the envelope out of her handbag.

Jean opened the envelope and read the letter.

“Dear Deirdre,

By the time you read this, I will be dead. I want to apologise for not being a good husband to you over the years, and not being a good father to the children. But I am sorrier for not telling you right away that I was in love with Jean Brodie – it was not fair to you.

I want you to know that after our divorce, I married Jean Brodie and we moved to Australia to live near Edward. Jean and I had two children – Duncan and William. I think that our children should meet their siblings.

Again, I am sorry, Deirdre. I always loved you, my dear. I hope that you have been happy.

Teddy.”

Jean folded the letter back up and handed it to Deirdre. “Thank you for sharing the letter with me,” Jean said.

“You’re welcome,” Deirdre replied.

“Deirdre...” Jean began.

“Yes?”

“Just so this isn’t awkward, I want you to know that Teddy asked me to marry Edward after he died, and we were married four months ago,” she explained.

Deirdre’s eyes widened slightly. “Thank you for telling me,” she said. “I had wondered about that.”

“I’ll let you freshen up now,” Jean said, standing up.

“All right,” Deirdre replied. “I’ll be down shortly.”

Jean nodded and went back downstairs to join her husband and two sons.

A half an hour later, Deirdre and her children joined Jean, Edward, Duncan, and William downstairs in the dining room. Surprisingly, everyone seemed to be getting along – as soon as dinner began, Siobhan, Kathleen, Brendan and William began a conversation about squash, while Aileen, Connor, Kieran, and Duncan talked about world affairs. Deirdre, Edward, and Jean were involved in their own conversation.

“Jean, why did you and Teddy move to Australia?” Deirdre asked Jean.

“Well, before Teddy and I began our affair,” Jean blushed at that, looking down at her plate, “He had been having an affair with one of my former students, Sandy Stranger. She ended it, but she was angry that we were happy. Anyway, she threw a rock through the living room window, and it struck me in the head, causing me to go into a coma – I was five months pregnant with Duncan at the time,” she said.

“Oh, Jean!” Deirdre exclaimed.

“I emerged from the coma a month later, and Teddy and I stayed in a hotel for a few days. We decided to move to Australia to get away from Sandy, and when he returned to the house to pack up our things, she burned it to the ground. Teddy barely got out alive. We left for Australia a few days later,” she finished.

Deirdre sat there, mouth open. “I’m so sorry, Jean,” she said.

Jean smiled forlornly. “It’s all right – it all happened a long time ago – nearly seventeen years ago.”

Dinner finished, and they all retired into the living room for nightcaps. The children went up to bed first, because while they were no longer children in any sense of the word, they were all exhausted.

Deirdre and Jean stayed downstairs, talking – Edward had gone up to their bedroom.

“Did Teddy ever cheat on you?” Deirdre asked Jean.

Jean smiled sadly. “Yes, he did – quite often, in fact. He had an exhibition of paintings in Europe, which lasted for nearly three years, and during that time he slept with dozens of women. Deirdre, when you were married to Teddy and he had an affair, would you have one too?” Jean asked, changing the subject slightly.

“No, I didn’t, though I was tempted to. Why, did you?” she asked, and Jean nodded.

“Yes, with Edward,” Jean said. “For nearly two years. I told Teddy, of course, and he was very upset about it, but it was his fault, really, leaving me alone with a new baby for nearly three years. And I did love Edward – I do love him – not as much as I loved Teddy, but close to it. Deirdre, did you ever remarry?”

“No, I didn’t – I didn’t want to worry about another husband cheating on me,” she said, and Jean blushed with embarrassment.

“I am sorry,” Jean said.

“It’s all right. You certainly weren’t the only woman he slept with over the years. I was tired of his constant affairs, and I knew he wasn’t in love with me anymore. To tell you the truth, I was no longer in love with him – that’s why I applied for an annulment.”

The clock in the corner struck eleven.

“Is that the time?” Deirdre said, looking down at her watch. “I must be off to bed.”

“Good night, Deirdre,” Jean said, spontaneously embracing the woman, who returned her embrace.

“Good night, Jean,” Deirdre said. “I think that we will be great friends – we understand each other.”

Jean smiled. “As do I,” she said, and they walked up the stairs to their respective rooms.

[kissofdeath]

Wow, I was kind of waiting for Deirdre or one of her and Teddy's kids to be a major bitch to Jean, but this works too.

[dianahawthorne]

Jan 3, 2009 13:51:21 GMT -5 kissofdeath said:

Wow, I was kind of waiting for Deirdre or one of her and Teddy's kids to be a major bitch to Jean, but this works too.

Yeah, I was leaning towards that route, but then I figured that no one (at least no one that I know) would travel 3 weeks on a ship to get their revenge.

Also, Deirdre and Jean have had the same experiences, so I feel that they would understand each other.

[kissofdeath]

True, but wouldn't her children, at least the younger ones, feel some resentment towards Duncan and William? After all, they'd assume Duncan and William had a better life compared to theirs.

[dianahawthorne]

Jan 3, 2009 14:10:01 GMT -5 kissofdeath said:

True, but wouldn't her children, at least the younger ones, feel some resentment towards Duncan and William? After all, they'd assume Duncan and William had a better life compared to theirs.

There's an idea! I'll work that into the next chapter.