Post by maritelske on Aug 1, 2007 5:14:07 GMT -5
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Inspired by the songs ‘9 Crimes’, by Nick Cave and ‘Harry’s Game’, by Clannad.
A/N: I have wanted to write this fanfic forever and a day, and I finally got around to it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.
Looking Forward to the Past
“Homenum revelio”
Nothing happened, but Minerva McGonagall was not surprised. She knew the incantation would not reveal anything, though she had hoped for perhaps one lingering fool...
After all, it was her job to catch dark witches and wizards – and she felt a slight pang of failure after weeks of hard work.
“Are you coming?” Alastor Moody’s growling voice came from somewhere below and Minerva took one final look around the darkened room before re-tying her ebony hair off her face in a sweeping movement as she walked downstairs to meet him.
“Nothing there” She said with a sigh laden with disappointment.
“They wouldn’t have hung around” Tobias Gentrel explained, stating the obvious. Being the eldest of the ministry Auror team, he held himself in great regard – though Minerva held him in hardly any regard at all and spent most of her time defying him.
But in that moment, she had no reply.
“Come on, let’s get back” Alastor, who did not like the feeling of continuously walking into cobwebs in the dark and dusty hallway, was keen to return to his plush desk chair at the ministry – where perhaps lunch might be waiting for him.
Minerva, however, did not seem nearly as keen to return and scuffed her feet slightly as she walked, casting one last look down the hallway before apparating back to the Ministry of Magic.
There was a pop and Minerva found herself walking the familiar halls of her place of work once more, as a singsong voice filled the hallway and subsequent offices, “Welcome to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. We hope that you enjoy your stay”
“Bloody PA system” Alastor muttered as he sauntered back into his office and promptly slammed the door.
“Hello, Minerva, Tobias” Gawian Robards smiled at them both as they walked towards their respective offices – Tobias looking slightly more upbeat than his counter part, “How did you get on?”
“No good at all. Someone had warned them we were coming. They’d cleared out the old Muggle shack before we even had a chance to search it properly”
“Ah well, best get back to the daily grind...” And Gawian walked off, wishing them both a good day as he did so.
Minerva wished him well before she too disappeared into her office, shutting the door behind her and leaning against the heavy, wooden frame. Her shoulders collapsed in her moment of peace, and she tried to regain her thoughts.
It has been a long week. They had been trying to capture three criminals who had been hexing muggles. Alastor was particularly keen to catch them, spending days pouring over the evidence – while Tobias was constantly having to oblivate the effected Muggles memories.
For Minerva, the week seemed to be an endless battle and she relished in the relative peace of her office - before her eyes swept across the mess that covered her desk.
“Oh, fantastic” She muttered, and with a heavy sigh, she sat down behind it – flicking her wand so that all the papers began to neatly arrange themselves into piles.
It was only once the files had finished sorting themselves by order of importance that Minerva noticed a stray envelope with only two words written on it.
Minerva McGonagall
On the back of the envelope, Minerva saw the distinctive red Hogwarts seal and already, she knew exactly whom it was from.
Leaning back in her chair, she opened the letter with care, the piece of parchment shaking ever so slightly with her nervous touch.
Dear Minerva,
I have heard nothing but the highest praise of you from the Minister of Magic. I always knew you were destined for great things.
I am, however, not writing to tell you this. I am writing to ask you to meet me for a chat at a time that is agreeable for you.
With the hope of hearing from you soon,
Armando Dippet.
There was something about hearing from Armando again that made Minerva feel empty – more so than she had three years ago, when everything had seemed so painfully dark.
The thought of going back... it had always plagued her mind.
Holding the letter in her hand, the thought of going back to a life she once had seemed more real, more tangible than ever before.
Her mouth soured, her forehead furrowed – and she felt constricted, unable to breathe – as a thousand thoughts raced through her mind, each a memory of her past which seemed distant, yet so real, that she could hardly think of where to begin.
Her thoughts soon came to rest on one man – on one beginning.
Albus Dumbledore.
After all, it had been three years since she had last seen her husband, and the pain was still entirely real.
- - -
It was just three days later when Minerva found herself walking towards Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the path so familiar under her feet as the castle loomed ahead – an entirely arresting sight after so many years away.
Armando was already waiting at the entrance to the Great Hall when she arrived, and he gave her a warm smile.
“Minerva McGonagall! You’re looking lovely, as always” And with that, he kissed her hand – causing her to blush ever so slightly.
“Thank you, Armando. I see being headmaster agrees with you”
“Oh, yes, yes, definitely my dear, definitely. Thank you for agreeing to see me. I’m afraid that we have much to discuss. Tell me, how is Alastor?” The walk to the headmaster’s office had never seemed to long, and Minerva’s attention was held elsewhere as she desperately searched the corridors, her eyes flicking unnaturally quickly in her anxiety.
“Yes, he is quite well” She tried to smile, but it did not quite reach her eyes – and suddenly she wished she had never agreed to meet him. She knew her arrival at the castle would inevitably lead to the re-emergence of a past she had always simply wanted to forget.
But they did not meet a single person on the journey to the third floor, and Armando continued to talk happily as they walked up into his office, where the portraits instantly pretended to fall asleep. Everard began to snore rather too loudly, and Minerva had the faintest impression that Dilys Derwent was laughing behind her painted hand.
“Now, Minerva – would you like some tea, perhaps?” Armando smiled warmly once more, now standing behind his grand desk as he conjured her a seat.
“No, thank you” She tried to be polite, but her tone defied her. It was in this very room... her thoughts trailed off, to another time, another place when she had been so young - so very young, and so very in love.
“Very well then. Well, you must know why I have called you hear”
“I’m afraid I am quite at a loss to explain it,” She admitted truthfully, as saw Everard shift in his frame – his attention clearly piqued.
“Well, then... Minerva, I would like you to – ” He was cut off by a resolute knocking at the door, and Minerva instantly spun around – her eyes seeming to glare through the heavy wood, “Yes, come in!” Armando called out, and finally – the door opened, and Albus Dumbledore stepped into view.
For a moment, time stood still.
Minerva’s eyes instantly softened, her thoughts slowed, her heart fastened... She could not even begin to find her voice, watching as he too stared at her – his blue eyes seeming to stare right through her very being.
“Ah, Albus. Yes, yes... I was just speaking to Minerva here about... Oh, heavens – what on earth is that noise?” Albus’ eyes had still not left Minerva, yet Armando seemed quite oblivious as Peeves began to create havoc in the hallway below, “Oh, I better see to this... I’ll be back in one moment”
And with that, he was gone – leaving Minerva and Albus alone for the first time in three years.
For the first time in three years, Minerva’s eyes looked upon her husbands and for the first time in three years, Albus found his breath taken away.
She stood, with deliberate slowness, not saying a word – and walked towards him, her left hand rising to meet his face, her palm touching his skin so gently as she looked up at his face, the face she had always known so well.
And then she slapped him.
“What on earth – ” Albus began, but Minerva was wild with fury – her eyes no longer soft, but full of unbridled anger.
“How dare you, Albus. HOW DARE YOU!” She almost screamed, “I waited for you”
“I think Armando had this planned all along” He said with a sigh, and took a step away from her – fearful of her infamous Scottish temper, and the way her eyes seemed to flicker in her anger.
“Probably” Minerva shrugged, not caring in the slightest.
“He thinks that asking you to work here will make everything easy again”
“Nothing about us was ever easy, Albus” Her words were heavy with a pain she could not even begin to describe, and she walked away from him, not for the first time in their relationship, turning her back to the room and the spot where he stood.
“How is the life of an Auror?”
“Busy” She snapped, her anger clearly evident, and Albus found himself longing to reach for her hand, to take her slender fingers in his, “I’m seeing someone... It’s only new, but it feels right”
She wasn’t sure why she felt the need to tell him, but perhaps it was for her own reassurance – her own resolve, rather than his, that she needed to say it.
“I see” His voice was soft, and Minerva felt her eyes beginning to fill with tears she had never had the chance to shed.
“You never owled, you never contacted me...”
Silence filled the room once more, the energy almost as tangible as their pain mingled together in a mix of agony, of hurt and of wrong doings.
“I know” Albus agreed, his head hanging ever so slightly as he watched her shoulders fall, as he watched her hands shake against her hip...
“I waited for so long”
“I know,” He agreed once more, now taking the slow steps to her side. She turned her head ever so slightly, her ebony hair falling over her shoulder as she did so. Her hair was longer now, much more so than it had been on the day they had married and her eyes still shone with a beauty that had always been able to render him speechless.
“I waited” She whispered. He was close now, far too close, his breath tickling her nose, whispering across her cheek...
In a moment of finality, their lips met – an incredible softness that Minerva had almost forgotten after years apart. His hand wound its way through her hair, trailing across her collarbone, slipping down her waist and claiming her hips as his own.
Finally, they broke apart – Minerva’s eyes shining with tears.
For seconds, moments, years – nothing was said, until Minerva finally regained her voice.
“That was our goodbye, the one you never gave me”
“Minerva, if I could turn back time – ”
“But you can’t Albus. There’s too much water under the bridge to go back, and there’s not enough left for there to be a future”
He knew her words were true, but couldn’t quite find the words to tell her exactly how it was he felt, seeing her after all this time, feeling her skin beneath his hand...
He did not have another moment to think, when Armando came bursting back into the room, looking slightly dishevelled.
“Peeves was throwing the armour down the stairs ago... oh, oh... did I interrupt? I’m sorry” But Armanda looked far from sorry, his eyes glittered with his self satisfaction of finally getting the pair into the same room together, and Minerva hurriedly straightened her shirt - seeking a distraction.
“I should be going” Albus offered by way of explanation, walking towards the door, “Good to see you again, Minerva. Goodnight, Armando”
And with that, he was gone.
To be continued
A/N: I have wanted to write this fanfic forever and a day, and I finally got around to it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.
Looking Forward to the Past
“Homenum revelio”
Nothing happened, but Minerva McGonagall was not surprised. She knew the incantation would not reveal anything, though she had hoped for perhaps one lingering fool...
After all, it was her job to catch dark witches and wizards – and she felt a slight pang of failure after weeks of hard work.
“Are you coming?” Alastor Moody’s growling voice came from somewhere below and Minerva took one final look around the darkened room before re-tying her ebony hair off her face in a sweeping movement as she walked downstairs to meet him.
“Nothing there” She said with a sigh laden with disappointment.
“They wouldn’t have hung around” Tobias Gentrel explained, stating the obvious. Being the eldest of the ministry Auror team, he held himself in great regard – though Minerva held him in hardly any regard at all and spent most of her time defying him.
But in that moment, she had no reply.
“Come on, let’s get back” Alastor, who did not like the feeling of continuously walking into cobwebs in the dark and dusty hallway, was keen to return to his plush desk chair at the ministry – where perhaps lunch might be waiting for him.
Minerva, however, did not seem nearly as keen to return and scuffed her feet slightly as she walked, casting one last look down the hallway before apparating back to the Ministry of Magic.
There was a pop and Minerva found herself walking the familiar halls of her place of work once more, as a singsong voice filled the hallway and subsequent offices, “Welcome to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. We hope that you enjoy your stay”
“Bloody PA system” Alastor muttered as he sauntered back into his office and promptly slammed the door.
“Hello, Minerva, Tobias” Gawian Robards smiled at them both as they walked towards their respective offices – Tobias looking slightly more upbeat than his counter part, “How did you get on?”
“No good at all. Someone had warned them we were coming. They’d cleared out the old Muggle shack before we even had a chance to search it properly”
“Ah well, best get back to the daily grind...” And Gawian walked off, wishing them both a good day as he did so.
Minerva wished him well before she too disappeared into her office, shutting the door behind her and leaning against the heavy, wooden frame. Her shoulders collapsed in her moment of peace, and she tried to regain her thoughts.
It has been a long week. They had been trying to capture three criminals who had been hexing muggles. Alastor was particularly keen to catch them, spending days pouring over the evidence – while Tobias was constantly having to oblivate the effected Muggles memories.
For Minerva, the week seemed to be an endless battle and she relished in the relative peace of her office - before her eyes swept across the mess that covered her desk.
“Oh, fantastic” She muttered, and with a heavy sigh, she sat down behind it – flicking her wand so that all the papers began to neatly arrange themselves into piles.
It was only once the files had finished sorting themselves by order of importance that Minerva noticed a stray envelope with only two words written on it.
Minerva McGonagall
On the back of the envelope, Minerva saw the distinctive red Hogwarts seal and already, she knew exactly whom it was from.
Leaning back in her chair, she opened the letter with care, the piece of parchment shaking ever so slightly with her nervous touch.
Dear Minerva,
I have heard nothing but the highest praise of you from the Minister of Magic. I always knew you were destined for great things.
I am, however, not writing to tell you this. I am writing to ask you to meet me for a chat at a time that is agreeable for you.
With the hope of hearing from you soon,
Armando Dippet.
There was something about hearing from Armando again that made Minerva feel empty – more so than she had three years ago, when everything had seemed so painfully dark.
The thought of going back... it had always plagued her mind.
Holding the letter in her hand, the thought of going back to a life she once had seemed more real, more tangible than ever before.
Her mouth soured, her forehead furrowed – and she felt constricted, unable to breathe – as a thousand thoughts raced through her mind, each a memory of her past which seemed distant, yet so real, that she could hardly think of where to begin.
Her thoughts soon came to rest on one man – on one beginning.
Albus Dumbledore.
After all, it had been three years since she had last seen her husband, and the pain was still entirely real.
- - -
It was just three days later when Minerva found herself walking towards Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the path so familiar under her feet as the castle loomed ahead – an entirely arresting sight after so many years away.
Armando was already waiting at the entrance to the Great Hall when she arrived, and he gave her a warm smile.
“Minerva McGonagall! You’re looking lovely, as always” And with that, he kissed her hand – causing her to blush ever so slightly.
“Thank you, Armando. I see being headmaster agrees with you”
“Oh, yes, yes, definitely my dear, definitely. Thank you for agreeing to see me. I’m afraid that we have much to discuss. Tell me, how is Alastor?” The walk to the headmaster’s office had never seemed to long, and Minerva’s attention was held elsewhere as she desperately searched the corridors, her eyes flicking unnaturally quickly in her anxiety.
“Yes, he is quite well” She tried to smile, but it did not quite reach her eyes – and suddenly she wished she had never agreed to meet him. She knew her arrival at the castle would inevitably lead to the re-emergence of a past she had always simply wanted to forget.
But they did not meet a single person on the journey to the third floor, and Armando continued to talk happily as they walked up into his office, where the portraits instantly pretended to fall asleep. Everard began to snore rather too loudly, and Minerva had the faintest impression that Dilys Derwent was laughing behind her painted hand.
“Now, Minerva – would you like some tea, perhaps?” Armando smiled warmly once more, now standing behind his grand desk as he conjured her a seat.
“No, thank you” She tried to be polite, but her tone defied her. It was in this very room... her thoughts trailed off, to another time, another place when she had been so young - so very young, and so very in love.
“Very well then. Well, you must know why I have called you hear”
“I’m afraid I am quite at a loss to explain it,” She admitted truthfully, as saw Everard shift in his frame – his attention clearly piqued.
“Well, then... Minerva, I would like you to – ” He was cut off by a resolute knocking at the door, and Minerva instantly spun around – her eyes seeming to glare through the heavy wood, “Yes, come in!” Armando called out, and finally – the door opened, and Albus Dumbledore stepped into view.
For a moment, time stood still.
Minerva’s eyes instantly softened, her thoughts slowed, her heart fastened... She could not even begin to find her voice, watching as he too stared at her – his blue eyes seeming to stare right through her very being.
“Ah, Albus. Yes, yes... I was just speaking to Minerva here about... Oh, heavens – what on earth is that noise?” Albus’ eyes had still not left Minerva, yet Armando seemed quite oblivious as Peeves began to create havoc in the hallway below, “Oh, I better see to this... I’ll be back in one moment”
And with that, he was gone – leaving Minerva and Albus alone for the first time in three years.
For the first time in three years, Minerva’s eyes looked upon her husbands and for the first time in three years, Albus found his breath taken away.
She stood, with deliberate slowness, not saying a word – and walked towards him, her left hand rising to meet his face, her palm touching his skin so gently as she looked up at his face, the face she had always known so well.
And then she slapped him.
“What on earth – ” Albus began, but Minerva was wild with fury – her eyes no longer soft, but full of unbridled anger.
“How dare you, Albus. HOW DARE YOU!” She almost screamed, “I waited for you”
“I think Armando had this planned all along” He said with a sigh, and took a step away from her – fearful of her infamous Scottish temper, and the way her eyes seemed to flicker in her anger.
“Probably” Minerva shrugged, not caring in the slightest.
“He thinks that asking you to work here will make everything easy again”
“Nothing about us was ever easy, Albus” Her words were heavy with a pain she could not even begin to describe, and she walked away from him, not for the first time in their relationship, turning her back to the room and the spot where he stood.
“How is the life of an Auror?”
“Busy” She snapped, her anger clearly evident, and Albus found himself longing to reach for her hand, to take her slender fingers in his, “I’m seeing someone... It’s only new, but it feels right”
She wasn’t sure why she felt the need to tell him, but perhaps it was for her own reassurance – her own resolve, rather than his, that she needed to say it.
“I see” His voice was soft, and Minerva felt her eyes beginning to fill with tears she had never had the chance to shed.
“You never owled, you never contacted me...”
Silence filled the room once more, the energy almost as tangible as their pain mingled together in a mix of agony, of hurt and of wrong doings.
“I know” Albus agreed, his head hanging ever so slightly as he watched her shoulders fall, as he watched her hands shake against her hip...
“I waited for so long”
“I know,” He agreed once more, now taking the slow steps to her side. She turned her head ever so slightly, her ebony hair falling over her shoulder as she did so. Her hair was longer now, much more so than it had been on the day they had married and her eyes still shone with a beauty that had always been able to render him speechless.
“I waited” She whispered. He was close now, far too close, his breath tickling her nose, whispering across her cheek...
In a moment of finality, their lips met – an incredible softness that Minerva had almost forgotten after years apart. His hand wound its way through her hair, trailing across her collarbone, slipping down her waist and claiming her hips as his own.
Finally, they broke apart – Minerva’s eyes shining with tears.
For seconds, moments, years – nothing was said, until Minerva finally regained her voice.
“That was our goodbye, the one you never gave me”
“Minerva, if I could turn back time – ”
“But you can’t Albus. There’s too much water under the bridge to go back, and there’s not enough left for there to be a future”
He knew her words were true, but couldn’t quite find the words to tell her exactly how it was he felt, seeing her after all this time, feeling her skin beneath his hand...
He did not have another moment to think, when Armando came bursting back into the room, looking slightly dishevelled.
“Peeves was throwing the armour down the stairs ago... oh, oh... did I interrupt? I’m sorry” But Armanda looked far from sorry, his eyes glittered with his self satisfaction of finally getting the pair into the same room together, and Minerva hurriedly straightened her shirt - seeking a distraction.
“I should be going” Albus offered by way of explanation, walking towards the door, “Good to see you again, Minerva. Goodnight, Armando”
And with that, he was gone.
To be continued
