Post by Orion's Guard on Feb 24, 2008 21:40:15 GMT -5
So I said I would reply, and technically I’m in the time limit for submissions, so I thought I’d throw this is for some last minute entertainment. Fortunately there are lots of others and hopefully everyone has already read and chosen their favorite!
By the way, my first instinct was Aaron Sorkin as well because I absolutely love him, so here’s a scene from not too long after Minerva joined the staff. It’s ripped from A Few Good Men, only because the challenge specifies “movie” and I can’t use West Wing. The dialogue is pretty much word for word, so none of it’s mine.
Minerva McGonagall walked up the stairs to the Headmaster’s office after trying to penetrate the gargoyles five times earlier in the day. If she’d known he was going to ignore her presence in the castle, she wouldn’t have agreed to come to his aid when he begged her to join staff.
The evening sun left the room in dark shadows as she entered the inner door at his command. He didn’t look up from his paperwork as she began speaking.
“Excuse me, professor; I wanted to talk to you about Kara Jordan and Jonathan McNeil.”
“Say again?” The headmaster answered without looking up from his correspondence.
“Jordan and McNeil.”
“Those names sound like they should mean something to me.”
“Jordan. McNeil. Two Hufflepuff students.”
“The Slughorn thing! Yes! Oh, Jordan and McNeil, right.” Albus Dumbledore looked up with his pencil still in his hand when she didn't answer him. “I’ve done something wrong, haven’t I?”
“I was just wondering why two students have been locked in detention in the dungeons since 6:00 this morning without the supervision of the potions professor who assigned the punishment, while the headmaster is sitting as his desk writing a letter.”
He started writing again. “I need to practice my spelling.”
Professor McGonagall stopped for a moment. “That wasn’t funny.”
“It was a little funny.”
“Headmaster, would you be very insulted if I recommended to board of governors that professor Slughorn be investigated for cruel mistreatment of students and obvious favoring of others.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t think you’re fit to handle Slughorn.”
“You don’t even know me. Ordinarily it takes someone months to discover I’m unfit to handle my teachers.” Professor Dumbledore looked up once more at her silence. “Aww, come one. That was damn funny.” He stood from behind his desk and walked to the cabinet to get a drink.
“You’re wrong. I do know you, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, born August 15, 1881 in the town of Godric’s Hollow in southwestern England. Your brother’s Aberforth Dumbledore, barman of the Hog’s Head pub in Hogsmeade. You graduated from Hogwarts in 1899 and joined the Grindlewald fighting force several years later, probably because it’s what the rest of the world wanted you to do. And now you’re just treading water here at Hogwarts, kind of laying low, avoiding what most people would consider absolute power. And if that’s the situation, that’s fine. I won’t tell anyone. But it’s my feeling is that if this boy gets handled in the same arrogant, slick ass, Persian Bazaar manner in which you seem to handle everything else, then something is going to get missed. And I wouldn’t be doing my job if I allowed Jordan and McNeil to spend any more time alone in detention than absolutely necessary because their Headmaster had predetermined the path of least resistance.”
“Wow.” He paused. “I’m sexually aroused, professor.”
Minerva didn’t flinch. “I don’t think those students did anything wrong.”
“And what are you basing this on?”
“There was no reason for the attack.”
He started walking toward the door and answered quickly. “Professor Slughorn described a scene in his classroom that placed Kara Jordan and Jonathan McNeil at the desk where Michael Wilson and James Boor were brewing a Felix Felicis potion when it suddenly exploded and the nature of the explosion strongly suggests a chemical interference with an outside ingredient that neither Slytherin student would have access to. Upon closer inspection, professor Slughorn found sopophorous bean juice residue in the . The two Slytherin students would have no access to this ingredient, however Jordan and McNeil stayed after class the week before helping advance fifth years with a Draught of Living Death. I wasn’t there to see all of this, but it sounds pretty bad.”
“I’m still going to…”
“While I appreciate your interest and admire your enthusiasm, I think I can handle things myself.” He opened the door as a cue for her to exit.
“Know what the Slug Club is?”
He turned back toward his new Transfiguration Professor.
She smirked sardonically to herself as she walked out. “What a pity.”
By the way, my first instinct was Aaron Sorkin as well because I absolutely love him, so here’s a scene from not too long after Minerva joined the staff. It’s ripped from A Few Good Men, only because the challenge specifies “movie” and I can’t use West Wing. The dialogue is pretty much word for word, so none of it’s mine.
Minerva McGonagall walked up the stairs to the Headmaster’s office after trying to penetrate the gargoyles five times earlier in the day. If she’d known he was going to ignore her presence in the castle, she wouldn’t have agreed to come to his aid when he begged her to join staff.
The evening sun left the room in dark shadows as she entered the inner door at his command. He didn’t look up from his paperwork as she began speaking.
“Excuse me, professor; I wanted to talk to you about Kara Jordan and Jonathan McNeil.”
“Say again?” The headmaster answered without looking up from his correspondence.
“Jordan and McNeil.”
“Those names sound like they should mean something to me.”
“Jordan. McNeil. Two Hufflepuff students.”
“The Slughorn thing! Yes! Oh, Jordan and McNeil, right.” Albus Dumbledore looked up with his pencil still in his hand when she didn't answer him. “I’ve done something wrong, haven’t I?”
“I was just wondering why two students have been locked in detention in the dungeons since 6:00 this morning without the supervision of the potions professor who assigned the punishment, while the headmaster is sitting as his desk writing a letter.”
He started writing again. “I need to practice my spelling.”
Professor McGonagall stopped for a moment. “That wasn’t funny.”
“It was a little funny.”
“Headmaster, would you be very insulted if I recommended to board of governors that professor Slughorn be investigated for cruel mistreatment of students and obvious favoring of others.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t think you’re fit to handle Slughorn.”
“You don’t even know me. Ordinarily it takes someone months to discover I’m unfit to handle my teachers.” Professor Dumbledore looked up once more at her silence. “Aww, come one. That was damn funny.” He stood from behind his desk and walked to the cabinet to get a drink.
“You’re wrong. I do know you, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, born August 15, 1881 in the town of Godric’s Hollow in southwestern England. Your brother’s Aberforth Dumbledore, barman of the Hog’s Head pub in Hogsmeade. You graduated from Hogwarts in 1899 and joined the Grindlewald fighting force several years later, probably because it’s what the rest of the world wanted you to do. And now you’re just treading water here at Hogwarts, kind of laying low, avoiding what most people would consider absolute power. And if that’s the situation, that’s fine. I won’t tell anyone. But it’s my feeling is that if this boy gets handled in the same arrogant, slick ass, Persian Bazaar manner in which you seem to handle everything else, then something is going to get missed. And I wouldn’t be doing my job if I allowed Jordan and McNeil to spend any more time alone in detention than absolutely necessary because their Headmaster had predetermined the path of least resistance.”
“Wow.” He paused. “I’m sexually aroused, professor.”
Minerva didn’t flinch. “I don’t think those students did anything wrong.”
“And what are you basing this on?”
“There was no reason for the attack.”
He started walking toward the door and answered quickly. “Professor Slughorn described a scene in his classroom that placed Kara Jordan and Jonathan McNeil at the desk where Michael Wilson and James Boor were brewing a Felix Felicis potion when it suddenly exploded and the nature of the explosion strongly suggests a chemical interference with an outside ingredient that neither Slytherin student would have access to. Upon closer inspection, professor Slughorn found sopophorous bean juice residue in the . The two Slytherin students would have no access to this ingredient, however Jordan and McNeil stayed after class the week before helping advance fifth years with a Draught of Living Death. I wasn’t there to see all of this, but it sounds pretty bad.”
“I’m still going to…”
“While I appreciate your interest and admire your enthusiasm, I think I can handle things myself.” He opened the door as a cue for her to exit.
“Know what the Slug Club is?”
He turned back toward his new Transfiguration Professor.
She smirked sardonically to herself as she walked out. “What a pity.”