Post by Hogwarts Duo on Jan 24, 2007 17:24:24 GMT -5
When My Light Is Low
Summary: At the end of Harry’s first year, Albus tells him Nicholas Flamel is going to destroy the stone, thus sealing his own demise. As any friend would do, Albus is there for him in the end and someone special is there for Albus when he returns to Hogwarts.
Rating: Safe for Everyone!
A/N: The title of this story comes from an Alfred, Lord Tennyson poem entitled Be Near Me When My Light Is Low
“Albus? Are you there?” she called softly through the fireplace, hoping she would be lucky in her first attempt to contact him.
Fear gripped his heart when he heard her voice, causing him to drop his quill. The large purple splotch on the parchment gave a lasting testament to his startled state. With dread, he rose from his chair and knelt before the fireplace, surprised to see the calm façade of the woman he had known for decades.
“Yes, I’m here.” His voice was timid and shaking, nothing at all like the strong man he was heralded to be to the wizarding world. He knew what she was about to say but it didn’t make it any easier to hear.
“It’s time,” was her simple statement. “If Hogwarts can spare you, it would be much appreciated if you could come now.” Her eyes held a sadness, the likes of which he had never seen on another persons face. In truth, he silently hoped never to see this expression again on anyone he considered friend or foe. Her dilemma now was one that he would not wish on even his worst of enemies for the lasting effects would be felt long after this night was over and all was said and done.
“I’ll be right there. I need a moment to send Fawkes with a message.” He had written the letter over a month ago, when things had taken a turn for the worst. In his mind, it was the next logical step and one that could save him invaluable time should he need to leave quickly. This was the moment he had been dreading since the end of the school term. That seemed ages ago but still not enough time to grow accustomed to the facts at hand.
“Dear friend, please take this letter to her and stay with her until I return. It may be an hour or a day but I won’t leave until this is over and all is well.” Albus’ familiar sang a mournful note and rubbed his head gently against the man’s cheek, sensing a need to offer some sort of comfort and reassurance. They had been friends for most of Albus’ life and no doubt the intelligent bird could sense the darkening mood of his companion, even when others were blinded by the world around them to his deepest feelings.
Albus smiled gratefully at his friend, knowing the bird felt pain at the events unfolding yet still offering what little support he could. “All will be well, Fawkes. And thank you for your kindness.” He stroked the phoenix’s head for a moment then turned back to look at the fireplace, his mission awaiting him. He never saw Fawkes disappear from sight, but heard the burst of flames behind him. Having assured himself that he was strong enough to face these next few hours, he stepped through the fireplace and into a more somber atmosphere than even he imagined possible.
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Minerva was startled by the sudden appearance of Fawkes in her presence. She had promised to meet Albus in less than half an hour for a brandy and some alone time with him before they retired to bed that evening. They had reluctantly parted after dinner in the hopes of getting some much needed work accomplished before turning their attentions back to each other during the winter holidays. However, with the sudden arrival of Albus’ familiar and a note held reverently in his beak, she knew their plans had been unavoidably altered this evening.
My Darling Minerva,
The time has come and I have been summoned. I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye, though I’m sure you will understand that time was of the utmost importance. While I am not certain how long I will be away, please know that you are always in my heart and mind, giving me strength and support even when we are parted. Fawkes will stay with you until I return and can see to you properly. I love you and I miss you already.
All My Love,
Your Albus
Minerva read the letter through twice before looking at Fawkes again, this time with tears streaming from her face. She knew this day would come but like Albus she had assumed it would be much further down the road. Still, it was inevitable and something they had discussed at length in recent months.
“Thank you, Fawkes. You have been a wonderful friend to Albus and for that I am grateful.” She gave the remarkable bird a ginger newt and a sherbet lemon before motioning for him to take a place of honor in Albus’ vacant chair.
Just as he had done for Albus, Fawkes sang a few notes and rubbed his head against her cheek before taking the offered seat. He ruffled his feathers and stretched his neck slightly, making himself comfortable, for what could be a long stay in Minerva’s study. While he would have preferred that she retire to the rooms she shared with Albus, he also understood that it was important for her to stay busy, to keep her mind occupied.
Minerva tried her best to focus her attention on the work still piled on her desk but her mind kept wandering away. Her daydreams at the moment were no longer pleasant ones featuring herself in Albus’ arms. They now drifted to the darker part of life; the side she hoped would be ages away from her happy life now. She tried placing herself in this situation, having to contact someone with this sort of news but that only caused more pain and a longing to be there with Albus, just to be at his side.
When the situation first arose, Albus and Minerva had cuddled on their balcony on a summer evening and discussed how events would unfold. He had, on numerous occasions, assured her that he would prefer that she stay behind at the school instead of accompanying him on his journey. He had explained that her support and open arms when he returned would be more important to him than subjecting her to hours upon hours of sitting around waiting.
Yes, waiting, she mused. That is truly the worst part of it all. The not knowing what’s happening. If he’s alright. If he had secretly wished I would defy him and follow him into the sadness. She shook her head of those thoughts. She had to believe he had been truthful with her and if he needed her, she would be right where he expected her to be when he called.
The hours ticked by slowly at first and then seemed to crawl as the night turned into the first rays of light again with the sunrise. She had found it hard to sleep without his arms wrapped around her. It only made the events grimmer, realizing that one day this would be her fate as well. She thought of writing a short note to him and sending a school owl to deliver it, but she stopped herself before ever reaching for quill and parchment. He would contact her or come home when it was time, and not a moment before.
Taking his framed picture from her bedside table, she stared down at the image of a happy Albus, one whose eyes could charms the stars from the heavens. Her slender finger lovingly traced his visage, wishing she could do that in reality. Oh Albus, I love you and hope all is well, she spoke to the smiling man in the picture.
A weary Albus stepped from the fireplace in the sitting room and shook the remnants of the floo powder from his robes. His eyes were red and swollen, no doubt from the sorrow of the prior night. Deep lines formed across his brow and his lips curled downward in a frown. He was tired, exhausted would have been a more accurate word. Yet his mind continued to demand he stay awake, though for what he wasn’t sure. Stealing a glance at Minerva’s grandfather clock, he sighed. Perhaps she is still in bed and I can seek comfort there, he prayed.
The noise from the other room startled Minerva from her melancholy thoughts. She was about to investigate when the bedroom door opened to reveal her husband looking so much older than she had ever seen. Without speaking a word, she rose from the bed and rushed to his side, helping him shed his outer robes then leading him to a chair. Silently, she unlaced his boots and pulled them from his feet along with his bright orange socks. She summoned a cloth and a basin of water to her side and lovingly washed his face and hands then with a few swishes of her wand, changing his clothes into his favorite purple pajamas.
“Come to bed, love,” she whispered against his lips. The kiss was intended to be a quick brushing of her lips against his but he deepened it before she had a chance to pull away, not that she minded at all. He seemed to be pouring all of his emotions into their kiss, holding nothing back from her, for which she was grateful and slightly comforted.
She could feel the wetness of his tears as they slid down his face and onto her lips. The saltiness mingling with the taste of lemon on his lips nearly broke her heart. The stark contrast between the jubilant Albus and the heartbroken one was so powerful that it brought tears to her own eyes. But reluctantly, she pulled away and took his hand, leading him into their bedroom.
“It was so beautiful and sad at the same time, Minerva. Pernelle was so strong and yet I could practically hear her heart shattering at the moment he left this earth.” Minerva drew him into her arms and cradled his head to her breast, stroking his hair as he spoke. “He was able to talk to me for a bit before he lost consciousness and then he was gone. One minute he was breathing and the next he wasn’t.” His voice was barely above a whisper but loud enough for Minerva to hear and feel the impact of his words.
“I’m sure they were both happy you were there with them. You were always like a son to them and he knew how hard it was for you to ask him to destroy the stone. Pernelle knew too. She’s told me so on many occasions.” She pressed a tender kiss to the top of his head. “And what’s important is that he knew you were there and could comfort his wife when she needed it most. I can only hope I am as strong when it comes time to sit with her as she embarks on her next journey and you are left here to wait for my return.”
“She doesn’t look well, Tabby. I don’t think she’ll be long for this world. I almost expected to have to contact you at one point last night.” And it was true. Pernelle had nearly collapsed as Nicholas’ breathing grew shallow and she fully understood that in a few hours the love of her life would slip into the next world, leaving her behind. Albus had contemplated contacting Minerva, though he wasn’t sure if it was more for himself or for Pernelle. In the end, she had asked him not to burden Minerva and that her time for assistance would come soon.
“Shhh, no more talking. Close your eyes and concentrate on nothing but me holding you. We will deal with everything else when you wake. You need your strength and a clear head for tomorrow. I went ahead and pulled the eulogy you had written from the cabinet and placed it on your desk. When you’re feeling up to it, we’ll go over it together and I’ll start working on Pernelle’s.”
“I realized something tonight, Minerva.” He turned his face upwards so he could look into her calming green eyes. “I saw a glimpse of what it’s like to lose the person you love most in the world and it’s so incredibly hard. To watch Pernelle sit idly by and watch as the life drained from him…yet all I could think about was getting back here to you. I wanted to hold you in my arms, to make love to you so that you’d always remember what our love feels like, tastes like, everything about being together. It felt like an odd sort of desperation settling in my heart and the only calming force was you.”
She tightened her arms around him and kissed him slowly and passionately on the lips. “I understand what you mean for I too had similar thoughts and feelings. One day our time will come when we are parted but for now, let’s just make the most of the time we have and not worry about the future.” Her long fingers skimmed over his eyes, forcing them shut and she raked her nails gently through his hair. “I’ll be right here when you wake, I promise. Try to relax and things won’t seem so bleak. I won’t let anything happen to you, love. And I’ll be here for you. If you need to cry or just sit quietly while I hold you, know that I will be more than happy to do so.”
Minerva began humming a soft Scottish tune her mother had often used to lull her to sleep after a nightmare and she was pleased to see that it had the same effect on Albus. Soon his breaths grew deeper, his tears ceased, and his entire body relaxed against her. She knew the next few days and weeks even would not be easy but they would face them together. No doubt she would have to lean on him once Pernelle passed to the other side and he would hold her just as she was holding him, providing a silent yet palpable strength.
“May this day be years and years from now for us, my darling Albus,” she whispered into his hair. “But wherever you go, so will I soon follow. I love you,” she told him as a fresh wave of tears began to slip from her eyes and into his hair. His arms tightened around her in his sleep and she smiled, knowing that was his way of comforting her as well.
The End.
