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Post by TartanLioness on May 11, 2005 12:24:32 GMT -5
Okay, this is the first time I post a poem here (I already posted it on fanfiction.net) and I'm really nervous about it... at any rate, I'd like you to review and tell me what you think!
Last Goodbyes He looks into her deep green eyes
As they say their last goodbyes
Years were spent without saying
Though he always by her side was staying.
In an age of war they were
And their feelings they must conquer
Now the enemy they have defeated
A life is over, yet uncompleted.
No winning without losing some
Never knowing what’s to come
But as he looks at her right now
He gives her one last vow.
To love her forever and a day
Like he has until today
Love, bond that never bends
Love, a feeling that never ends.
And she breathe her last breath on earth
Her eyes shine with unspoken mirth
They think of all the fun they had
Of good days and of bad.
With a smile she leaves this place
Leaving him with tear-streaked face
Embracing her, just like before
The biggest loss of this war.
Never will he be the same
Flickering is that beautiful flame
That once, in mind, burned so strong,
Now all he wants is to go along.
Meet her in the Promised Land
Where she promised she would stand
Be with her forever and a day
Like he has until today.
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Lily
First-year Student
Haha... Dumbledore's gay...
Posts: 19
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Post by Lily on May 21, 2005 1:54:23 GMT -5
Cammie!!
OMG!! This poem is just beautiful!! You have no reason to be nervous!!This was just absolutly wonderful, as is most everything else you write!! You've got meaning, emotion and soul behind your writing and that's what makes it wonderful and great and just downright beautiful!! I may be biased on what I say but that, for no reason, does not mean I'm not right!!
I'm also proud of you for posting anyways, although you were nervous!! You go girl!!
This was sad, but yet calm and beautiful... I don't know how to explain it... But I don't really have to... You know what I mean anyways...
I hope, and expect, to see more of this sort from you!!
[glow=red,2,300]All my love, always and forever, ~*~Lily~*~[/glow]
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Post by Rikki on May 21, 2005 9:30:10 GMT -5
That was just wonderful! Great one.
Hugs, Rikki
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Post by angeldust on May 21, 2005 11:47:07 GMT -5
you should not be nervous this is fantastic! (does sorting hat impression) 'oh there's talent' !!!!! I love it ;D
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Post by snowcat on Jun 4, 2005 5:19:50 GMT -5
Cammie! That was so good! Great, fantastic, wonderful, brilliant! Is that enouh to tell you that that was a lovely poem? You write wonderfully and I am proud that you posted this poem. *Gives Cammie a hug* Love, Elísabet.
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Post by Herzele on Aug 24, 2005 4:24:05 GMT -5
I found it !! ;D
Like I thought I didn't review it yet, so I'll tell you again how beautiful this is !! It's so sad, but so beautifully written !!
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Post by kate on Aug 29, 2005 10:00:41 GMT -5
That's was lovely! Thank you so much for sharing!
~*~ Kate
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MrCoolio
First-year Student
Yes they are. =)
Posts: 4
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Post by MrCoolio on Nov 16, 2006 21:46:35 GMT -5
That was so good. Keep more of them coming. i will def keep reading ^__^
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Post by ιady ταвz on Nov 17, 2006 23:52:03 GMT -5
omg..beautifull..tears in my eyes
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Post by childminerva on Nov 18, 2006 18:45:54 GMT -5
Wow, great job! I don't always read the poetry on ff.net or here since it's not my favorite style, but this one was amazing! I will definitely check out any of your future poems!
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phoenixntabby4eva
First-year Student
"Now and Forever, I will be your man."
Posts: 12
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Post by phoenixntabby4eva on Dec 28, 2006 0:36:09 GMT -5
OMG! that was really good and really, really sad, i almost cried
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