|
|
Post by Nerweniel on Jul 20, 2005 9:55:44 GMT -5
A/N: La di da, Lies goes weird poetry again. HBP-influenced, obviously, Minerva's PoV.
The Day Ahead
Just another day ahead
just another hour to see,
one who used to live is dead,
and what’s now still left for me?
Just a world that doesn’t fight,
people numbed by pain and woe,
darkness more than lack of light
that’s the way it is, and so
I remain, alone, behind,
tears don’t answer when I cry,
life is never very kind
but I will fight before I die.
|
|
|
|
Post by Herzele on Jul 20, 2005 10:08:51 GMT -5
That's so sad ... Wonderfully written, but so sad ...
|
|
|
|
Post by emeraldeyes on Jul 20, 2005 11:27:34 GMT -5
aww, poor Min!! I liked how you portrayed her, though, ready and willing to fight before she dies..wonderful
**kate**
|
|
|
|
Post by Dewey on Jul 20, 2005 13:25:42 GMT -5
Once again another piece of ingenuity comes from you! I liked it very much. Thanks a million. -Kathy
|
|
|
|
Post by TartanLioness on Aug 3, 2005 13:34:58 GMT -5
Awww!! Lies, this was great!! so sad!! I love how you portrayed Min...
Love,
Cammie xx
|
|
|
|
Post by snowcat on Aug 3, 2005 14:06:41 GMT -5
Awww....
made me go all teary...
Love,
Elisabet xx
|
|
|
|
Post by palanfanaiel on Aug 5, 2005 7:33:41 GMT -5
Well, you should go all weird-poetry more often... ;D
Loved it...
Pal
|
|
|
|
Post by kate on Aug 29, 2005 10:27:59 GMT -5
Really loved it!
Thanks a lot!
~*~ Kate
|
|
|
|
Post by tanja on Aug 29, 2005 14:04:05 GMT -5
you really have the talent to make me cry with every line you write...great poem !!!
|
|
|
|
Post by beMMADfabulous on Apr 8, 2006 9:39:59 GMT -5
That was really good! It tore at my heart quite a bit. Great job.
|
|
|
|
Post by nemi on Apr 8, 2006 11:32:33 GMT -5
I can't believe I missed this! Great job, you write poetry really well, I can't rhyme or get the rhythm right for the life of me. Wonderfully portrayed, but so sad! I agree with Pal, you should go all weird-poetry more often!
|
|
|
|
Post by aphelion on Jan 4, 2007 22:32:08 GMT -5
Sad is my favourite kind of poem and this is really lovely.
I know some people hate to receive any constructive criticism but I shall dare your wrath and offer an honest opinion anyway.
The last line of the first stanza doesn't scan as well as the others but it would if you put 'what is' instead of 'what's'.
*ducks and covers*
Either way, it's still a heartbreaker. Well done.
aphelion
|
|
