Minerva Gets Her Head Stuck in a Fence

[ginger newts]

The beginning of this one is based on an episode of Designing Women called "Julia Gets Her Head Stuck in a Fence." When the idea of putting Minerva in this situation occurred to me I couldn't stop laughing so I can only hope you enjoy it too, even if you haven't seen the show. This is only the beginning, don't worry there will be much shippiness to come.

Minerva Gets Her Head Stuck in a Fence

“Come on, Min, loosen up a little! You haven’t celebrated at all...oops,” Rolanda Hooch tripped up the stairs toward her friend while their other friend giggled at the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t see the need for celebrations. Besides, you’re both drunk, and don’t call me Min!” Minerva was practically shouting with exasperation. She understood that people were relieved that the threat of Voldemort was gone but really it was no excuse to act so inappropriately. “Would you two please be quiet, what if the students saw you like this? This behavior is completely unprofessional!”

“Oh, Minerva, relax. The students are all sleeping and besides, we’re not that drunk just having a good time. Come on, let go of that McGonagall facade, you haven’t done a single silly thing the entire time we’ve known you.” This lecture was delivered by the school nurse and Minerva’s long-time friend Poppy Pomfrey.

Minerva just folded her arms across her chest and glared at her friends as they proceeded to behave more immaturely than most of the students ever did. Poppy pulled a camera out of the pocket of her robes and started snapping pictures of Rolanda posing with various busts and suits of armor that were lining the hallway. Then they switched and Poppy vogued for the camera for a while. They were laughing and joking, all the while trying to convince Minerva to celebrate a little with them.

“Has she really always been this stuffy, Poppy?” Rolanda had not come to Hogwarts as a student until after the other two women had left and therefore she knew nothing of Minerva before her days as Transfiguration Professor and Deputy Headmistress.

Poppy nodded and pulled a face, “Yes, even as a first year she was little miss prim and proper. Never acted silly and pulled pranks with the rest of us, we used to joke that she would become the youngest prefect in Hogwarts history. She used to stand there, just like she is now, with her back straight and her arms folded, giving us that same disapproving look.” She shook her head, “It’s quite sad really.”

Finally, Minerva had had enough. “I am perfectly capable of having a good time, thank you very much, Poppy. I just don’t need to make a fool of myself to do it!”

“Oh, come on, just once in your life do something fun!” Rolanda pleaded.

Poppy knew how to get to her old friend, and now she used that knowledge to their advantage. “Forget it, Rolanda, I don’t think Minerva’s capable of doing anything silly.”

Minerva glared at them and then looked around to make sure there was no one approaching before she did the last thing either of the other women would have ever expected. She kneeled down on the steps and stuck her head between the posts on the banister. Minerva McGonagall, the stern Transfiguration teacher, stuck her head through the banister like a five year old child. Poppy and Rolanda just stared at her in shock with their mouths hanging open for a minute and then they started to laugh, they laughed so hard they were crying.

“Oh, Ro, take a picture,” Poppy managed to gasp out between giggles.

Rolanda got the camera out again and started to take a series of pictures of Minerva with her head stuck in the banister, pulling faces, and generally acting like a fool. Never tell Minerva McGonagall she can’t do something.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough. Are you two satisfied now?” She asked after a few minutes.

Both the other women nodded that they were, broad smiles on their faces. This was a night they would never forget. Minerva sighed and tried to pull her head back out of the banister, with one slight problem. She was stuck! She pulled and pulled but it was no use, Minerva started to panic.

“Oh my gosh,” Poppy said.

“Come on, Pops, don’t fall for it. She’s faking it to teach us a lesson. Okay, Minerva we get it, you can be silly, now get out of there.”

“I can’t, Rolanda! I’m stuck,” Minerva shrieked.

“Oh my gosh,” Poppy repeated.

“You’re not helping,” Minerva spat. “Get me out of here!”

The nurse and flying instructor climbed up the stairs to where their friend was kneeling and tried to pull her out of the banister, but it was no use.

“We’re just going to end up stretching her,” Rolanda finally said. “Poppy, you’re the nurse, can’t you do anything?”

“This isn’t exactly a medical problem! I know, we’ll get the Headmaster. He can probably get the banister to widen the space between the posts and let you out.” Poppy started to move away but was stopped by an almost desperate cry of “NO!” from Minerva.

“Whyever not? He’s the only one that can get you out of here,” Poppy looked at her friend with concern and confusion.

“I...I don’t want Albus to see me like this,” Minerva mumbled. “How in Merlin’s name did I let the two of you talk me into this. Honestly! Can’t you just cut through one of these posts and make room for me to get out?”
She knew they couldn’t, the banister like everything else in the castle was charmed to be indestructible. The only true hope of getting her out of there anytime soon was to have Albus come and coax the banister into readjusting itself temporarily to release her head, but Minerva could not think of anything that would be more embarrassing than that. She had secretly been in love with Albus Dumbledore for years and while they were good friends she knew better than to ever hope for more, how could she ever face him again if he saw her now. It would be a terrifying enough thought if Albus didn’t enjoy teasing her so much. Sometimes he was worse than Rolanda, and an incident like this would give him ammunition for years, she wouldn’t have an ounce of dignity left. How had this happened?

[Sensiblyquirky]

Excellent! You captured the show so well, and Minerva of course. Writing superb. Cannot wait for more. Hope work is real slow tomorrow

Christy

[TabbyForever]

Hehehehhehe i can see what you mean....the minuet i read the opening lines of you summery i was laughing!!!!!

Thats soooo funny but so unlike min!!!!heheheheehe
I can't wait to see how this turns out!!!
Tabs

[ginger newts]

Part 2

Poppy interrupted Minerva’s thoughts by saying sternly, “Listen, Min, I know you’re embarrassed, but unless you want to spend the rest of your life stuck in this staircase we’re going to have to go get Albus.”

Minerva sighed and said very quietly, “I know.”

Her friend took that as permission to go fetch the Headmaster and she left. Minerva spent the intervening time trying unsuccessfully to free herself and to ignore Rolanda’s comments and picture taking. After about ten minutes, that felt like an eternity, Poppy returned with Albus in tow. He took one look at the situation and couldn’t contain his laughter. Minerva waited impatiently, anger beginning to overtake her embarrassment.

“Are you finished?” she finally asked. “I could use a little help!”

Albus wiped the tears from his eyes and said, “I’m sorry, my dear, it’s just too funny. Can I ask how you got yourself into this predicament?”

“No, you can not. Just get me out of here!”

Albus climbed the steps and sat down next to Minerva, after several minutes he finally managed to get the posts on the banister to slide apart a little farther and he helped her ease her head back out. Assuming that her neck would be sore after such punishment, he began to gently massage it with one hand. Minerva glared at him, said a cool “thank you,” got up, and walked away. He was a little hurt by her abrupt departure, but told himself she was embarrassed and would come around by morning.

Poppy seemed to sense this and she tried to comfort him, “She didn’t want you to see her like that, she’ll be alright tomorrow.”

“Sure she will, maybe she’ll even laugh about it,” Rolanda added as Poppy motioned that they should leave.

The next day was Saturday and nobody saw hide nor hair of Minerva all day, she didn’t even show up to the Quidditch match which was very unlike her. In fact, nobody saw her all weekend. Albus eventually grew concerned and went looking for her on Sunday afternoon.

She wasn’t in her classroom or her office, so he made his way to her rooms. He had to knock quite persistently for several minutes before the door finally cracked open.

“Hello, Minerva, no one’s seen you all weekend and I’ve been a bit concerned –“

She cut him off, “I’m fine. Good day, Headmaster.” Before he could say another word, she shut the door with a decisive click and Albus didn’t know what else to do so he wandered away.

He went back to his rooms and began to pace and talk to Fawkes. On some level, he was angry that Minerva had treated him that way. They had been friends for years and no matter what had passed between them she had never been so openly rude to him before. He didn’t understand her actions at all, if it hadn’t been for him she would still be sitting on those stairs with her head stuck in the banister. As Albus talked, he grew more and more angry with Minerva for behaving the way she had, any understanding he had felt for her embarrassment was overridden by his indignation. After listening to Albus rant for a quarter of an hour, Fawkes gave a loud chirp that sounded as if he were chiding his human for having such thoughts.

“You’re right, as usual, Fawkes. I’m being stupid. It’s just...I miss her, it’s been miserable without her company this weekend. I missed our chess game, her wit, her laughter...I missed seeing her.” This time Fawkes’ chirp was of the encouraging variety. “You always say that,” Albus sighed. “I don’t know how to tell her, especially when she won’t talk to me.”

With Fawkes singing an encouraging song, Albus began to form a plan. A plan to win back Minerva’s friendship if nothing else, though he was secretly hoping to win her affection as more than a friend. He sat down at his desk and by dinnertime the floor was covered with balled up pieces of parchment as Albus read over the note he had written to Minerva, finally deciding that it sounded just right.

My dear,

I am truly sorry if I offended you with my laughter on Friday night, I can only imagine how you must have felt at the time. However, I am also puzzled by your current behavior. I missed you greatly this weekend and you have never before slammed a door in my face. Please accept my apologies and know that I will never mention the incident again. I hope that you will be on speaking terms with me again this week, for the days pass much too slowly when I don’t get to see your beautiful face and hear your lovely voice.

Please be at breakfast tomorrow.

Your friend (I hope),
Albus

Fawkes gladly carried the note to Minerva’s room with instructions to wait for her reaction. Not that he would be able to tell Albus her reaction, but he could give him a general idea as to whether it was positive or not. The red and gold bird burst into Minerva’s room with a small poof of fire and dropped the note in her lap as she sat in a chair reading. She warily unfolded the parchment and read the note over several times, her eyes growing narrower each time and her lips almost disappearing they were so thin.

“Beautiful face,” she snorted, “lovely voice! How can he do this to me?” She crumpled up the note and threw it into the fire as she began pacing. “I hate it when he does this,” Minerva told Fawkes, who tilted his head and looked as if he were truly listening (which he was). “It makes it so hard to stay mad at him, but then this time I’m not exactly mad. Well, I am now. How can he just throw compliments around like that? Never mind the fact that they aren’t true, but he doesn’t really mean them. That’s what hurts,” she explained to the bird. “To know he just says flowery things to placate me. If he had any idea how I wish he meant them.” Minerva sank into a chair, her eyes wet with tears she would not allow herself to shed. “All I’ve ever wanted is to hear him say these things to me and to really mean them. For him to say them from his heart and not his head, not as a tactical maneuver.”

Fawkes flew to her shoulder and rubbed his head against her cheek as he sang a few encouraging notes, then her circled the room once and disappeared in a burst of flame leaving a very flustered witch in his wake.

On Monday morning, Minerva had no excuse to miss breakfast completely, but she entered the Great Hall late and ate quickly, barely sparing a word or a glance for anyone, before leaving again.

[Dewey]

ahhhkakak;D that's SOOO entirely, fabulously funny! (bit 'o' romance goin on, too. AWWW.**melts**)

i do hope it works out all right. hehe. i can't stay serious, the image of minerva getting her head stuck in the banister is too funny.




-Dewey

[Jestana]

Oh, ouch! Talk about your misunderstandings! I hope they get things worked out soon!

[griseldalafey]

MINERVA!!!! YOU IDIOT!!! Oh wouldn't it be great if Fawkes could talk. *shakes head* compared to this, sticking her head through the fences was a smart thing.

But, great story, I'm enjoying this a lot.

[Sensiblyquirky]

reviewing quickly before dinner...i loved it! Great second chapter. Oh Minerva...i really like where you took that. I'm very interested in how Albus will get back on her good side...i know you're working on it!! ;D

Christy

[ginger newts]

Okay, here's the end. I made an attempt to end it on a humorous note since the middle sort of took a swing toward some other genre. Before I let you read it, I have to say many thanks to Christy (sensiblyquirky) for her input regarding the end.

The next three days passed in a similar fashion. Albus kept sending Minerva notes telling her how much he missed her and practically begging her to speak to him again, and Minerva kept avoiding him. By Wednesday afternoon, Albus had never felt so lonely in his life, he couldn’t think of another time he had gone five days without Minerva’s company and he had no idea what to do. As it happened, that was the afternoon he found out what was bothering her. After her last class ended, Minerva sighed heavily and opened Albus’ latest missive. She read his newest declaration of how much her friendship meant to him and how much he missed it, ending as always by complimenting her. Setting the letter down angrily, and idea occurred to Minerva and she picked up her quill and pulled the letter closer.

Why are you doing this to me? Haven’t I been embarrassed enough for one week?

These were the words she wrote neatly in black ink across Albus’ loopy purple writing before sending the note back to him. Minerva passed the rest of the evening in her office grading papers and reading until she decided it was late enough to return to her room without meeting anyone on the way. However, when she got there, she was struck utterly speechless by the site of her sitting room. The rug in front of the fireplace was littered with rose petals and when she drew closer she realized that they spelled out the words 'I meant it all.' Minerva just stood there staring down at the floor until she sensed another person in the room.

Albus had slipped behind her and he whispered in her ear, “I meant every word I wrote to you, Minerva. I really have missed you this week. My days just aren’t the same when I don’t get to see you, talk to you, laugh with you. You’re my oldest and dearest friend and well...I think...that is...I love you. Forgive me for laughing at you?”

Minerva turned slowly and touched his face, “You...love me?” she asked shakily. Upon his nod, she told him “I love you too, Albus. It’s just...I was so embarrassed on Friday. I don’t know what I was thinking!”

Albus cupped her chin and gently lifted her head so she was looking into his eyes. “It will be our secret. I had to threaten Rolanda’s job, but I managed to get something from her I think you might want.”

He produced a small stack of photographs from his pocket, the photos of Minerva with her head stuck through the banister. She blushed and ducked her head into his chest as he wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. Together they destroyed the photographic evidence, except for one picture that Albus claimed he could never part with because Minerva looked so beautiful in it. She agreed to let him keep it as a reminder of the one time she ever did anything foolish as long as he never showed it to anyone. They spent the next few hours cuddled up on the couch exploring their new relationship until Minerva fell asleep with her head on Ablus’ chest. He gently picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, placing her on the bed. When he placed a tender kiss to her forehead, Minerva woke up and looked at him with sleepy confusion.

“Sleep, love. I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow. Oh, and I think I’ve come up with a way to make you feel better about what happened the other night.” Albus kissed her goodnight and took his leave.

The next morning, Minerva awoke in a much better mood, she hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Between the war with Voldemort and the final incident that orphaned Harry Potter, there hadn’t been much reason for a good mood even before she lost her dignity by acting childish. On her way down to breakfast, she encountered quite a crowd on the main stairs. Wondering what had happened, Minerva pushed her way through to the center of the mob of students and came to an abrupt stop when she realized the cause of the disturbance.

Albus was sitting in the middle of the main staircase with his head stuck in the banister.

[ginger newts]

Okay, here's the end. I made an attempt to end it on a humorous note since the middle sort of took a swing toward some other genre. Before I let you read it, I have to say many thanks to Christy (sensiblyquirky) for her input regarding the end.

The next three days passed in a similar fashion. Albus kept sending Minerva notes telling her how much he missed her and practically begging her to speak to him again, and Minerva kept avoiding him. By Wednesday afternoon, Albus had never felt so lonely in his life, he couldn’t think of another time he had gone five days without Minerva’s company and he had no idea what to do. As it happened, that was the afternoon he found out what was bothering her. After her last class ended, Minerva sighed heavily and opened Albus’ latest missive. She read his newest declaration of how much her friendship meant to him and how much he missed it, ending as always by complimenting her. Setting the letter down angrily, and idea occurred to Minerva and she picked up her quill and pulled the letter closer.

Why are you doing this to me? Haven’t I been embarrassed enough for one week?

These were the words she wrote neatly in black ink across Albus’ loopy purple writing before sending the note back to him. Minerva passed the rest of the evening in her office grading papers and reading until she decided it was late enough to return to her room without meeting anyone on the way. However, when she got there, she was struck utterly speechless by the site of her sitting room. The rug in front of the fireplace was littered with rose petals and when she drew closer she realized that they spelled out the words 'I meant it all.' Minerva just stood there staring down at the floor until she sensed another person in the room.

Albus had slipped behind her and he whispered in her ear, “I meant every word I wrote to you, Minerva. I really have missed you this week. My days just aren’t the same when I don’t get to see you, talk to you, laugh with you. You’re my oldest and dearest friend and well...I think...that is...I love you. Forgive me for laughing at you?”

Minerva turned slowly and touched his face, “You...love me?” she asked shakily. Upon his nod, she told him “I love you too, Albus. It’s just...I was so embarrassed on Friday. I don’t know what I was thinking!”

Albus cupped her chin and gently lifted her head so she was looking into his eyes. “It will be our secret. I had to threaten Rolanda’s job, but I managed to get something from her I think you might want.”

He produced a small stack of photographs from his pocket, the photos of Minerva with her head stuck through the banister. She blushed and ducked her head into his chest as he wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. Together they destroyed the photographic evidence, except for one picture that Albus claimed he could never part with because Minerva looked so beautiful in it. She agreed to let him keep it as a reminder of the one time she ever did anything foolish as long as he never showed it to anyone. They spent the next few hours cuddled up on the couch exploring their new relationship until Minerva fell asleep with her head on Ablus’ chest. He gently picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, placing her on the bed. When he placed a tender kiss to her forehead, Minerva woke up and looked at him with sleepy confusion.

“Sleep, love. I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow. Oh, and I think I’ve come up with a way to make you feel better about what happened the other night.” Albus kissed her goodnight and took his leave.

The next morning, Minerva awoke in a much better mood, she hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Between the war with Voldemort and the final incident that orphaned Harry Potter, there hadn’t been much reason for a good mood even before she lost her dignity by acting childish. On her way down to breakfast, she encountered quite a crowd on the main stairs. Wondering what had happened, Minerva pushed her way through to the center of the mob of students and came to an abrupt stop when she realized the cause of the disturbance.

Albus was sitting in the middle of the main staircase with his head stuck in the banister.

[Jestana]

*giggle* That was a wonderful ending. I love the way they resolved it. Bravo!

[TabbyForever]

Hehehehehe ok thats actually quite funny...as i finished reviwing the previous chapter...you posted this one!!!
Ok i loved this story!!!!
Nice touch at the end...having Albus get his head stuck as well!!!!
Fantastic, well done!!!
Tabs

[Sensiblyquirky]

I'm sitting in the undergrad lib. working real hard! I loved it!!! Excellent ending. I'm glad I could help. OH, i'm smiling like an idiot ;D ;D

Christy

[Dewey]

eak. . . yay! i'm so glad it ended happily, ever after. also, brightened up my day. now i've got a great, goofy grin plastered on my face that i never want to get rid of.


**humming The Jell-O Song**

-Dewey

[angharad]

That was grand fun!

[griseldalafey]

Ow... they made up. *goofy grin* Lovely story! Am glad Albus got to keep at least one photo

[ArabellaFiggs]

Haha, what a funny story. Great work.
Go on you.

[Nerweniel]

And the prize for the funniest ending goes to... ;D...
Oh dear, this was SO funny at first, then sad, then sweet, and then sweetly funny again ;D!!! Go you!!!

Love,

Liz

[JoanneM]

That is such a cute story ... and the ending is just pure funny fluff . Surely Albus does everything for her *grin* ;D

[Karlynne]

We were looking for a laugh and we can always do a little designing women. You should do another episode. Karlie

[zannonalexia]

that is something albus would do. hehe. i loved it!

Kri

[nemi]

That was wonderful! Great job ^^

[Drake]

ROTFL!

[Ashlynn Minerva Rose]

lmao!!! albus always knows just what to do!!! that was so sweet && so funny. love it!!!

Much Love,
M. Rose

[Alexannah]

LMAO

I love it, it's so funny and cute at the same time ... And the ending was HILARIOUS!!!

[harmonydumbledore]

This was really cute, I loved it. I've seen this episode of Designing Women as well. Both were absolutely hilarious!!

[Mandy McGonagall-Dumbledore]

That was so cute !!