Post by Taylor on Mar 7, 2005 21:26:35 GMT -5
Ok, I am playing hookie here- I *should* be thinking of something to write for the stories that I am trying to finish, or even getting my dinner started, but this little plot bunny just- um - jumped out of no where.
A shot in the dark.
Minerva McGonagall sighed. Albus had insisted on Muggle this and Muggle that, and frankly, it was easier for her to say "Yes Albus" than to argue about why not wizard things to eat at the upcoming staff meeting? Why subject the teachers to food that they poke at with trepidation? Yes, trying new things was noble, but - in moderation!
He even had the elves disguise the food in a box, and you had to get it into your mouth with a blindfold then guess what you were eating, and it wasn't fun to see Severus spit sheeps brains across the room and splatter poor Prof Flitwick- even if he had taken it in stride after eating raw Wassabie and turned beet red as tears poured down his face.
No. That wouldn't do.
and she would - not lighten up and let her hair down at these functions.
What was the worst of all, was that he had traveled to america for a day, and brought back books that he had given the house elves with ingrediants he had purchased and brought over. they were having muggle american food that night.
Albus was at the Ministry until later that evening and it was up to her to be the hostess until he arrived with the information the ministry wanted to give to the teachers for the meeting.
Why couldn't he just- settle with a nice Haggis? she sighed.
She brushed out her hair and twisted it back up into a bun then put on her evening robe and with great athority, strode into the teachers lounge where she saw the house elves had provided an ample spread. Most of it was in odd shapes and smelt like left over old socks- she realized that was the dishes marked cheese.
Some of it was odd colors, there was a dish that stunk like dead fish, it was small and black and there were crackers around it. - She was able to identify it as fish eggs. Swallowing the bile that rose in her throat she moved down. There was Sheep Eyeball soup that looked back up at you, a dish called biscuts and gravy- why anyone would put the congealed blood of an animal on proper biscuts she would never understand.
at the far end of the table were little green clear things that had a small tartan pattern to them. Curious she picked one up in her fingers. It was cool and wiggled slightly, but not by any spell. She held it to the light and saw it had tiny bubbles that were trapped inside and she recognized it as a geletan form. With great forboding she sighed. A Geletan dish couldn't be that bad- she had some when she visited a friend up north. She remembered it was a clear - packet that you soaked in hot water and then let chill after you added color and flavoring. It smelt of limes and coconut and it slid down her throat with the ease of silk.
The taste was of a tropical drink, some pinapple, some coconut, and it was quite good. Sighing she picked up another and ate it in two bites before looking around. Others were begining to come in, and look at the food. Minerva decided right there and then, from seeing what she had, that she was going to play it safe and stick with the jello. Snagging a bowl, she scooped three cups of it into the bowl and then retreated to the corner to carefuly savor every bite.
Minerva felt a warm glow fill her body. She wasn't sure if she was just please with how she had thwarted Albus about this muggle food nonsense- or if it was because there were so many people in the room.
Prof Flitwick came over to her corner and made a comment about spit happens, and Minerva found herself giggling. She couldn't help herself. Flitwick looked at her and then the bowl that she had, and asked how much of it she had eaten. She shrugged.
"enough that I don't have to leave hungry.." with that she took a spoonful and guided it to his mouth. With a start Flitwick swallowed it- he had not been spoon fed since he was a very young child but the instinct to swallow was inborn. He felt the golden glow fill his body. Abandoning the food he had found on the table he went over to where the geletan was and filled a bowl up for himself, then helped Minerva get seconds.
Severus came over to where the pair were giggling over how they could make their wands spin on top of eachother in opposite directions. Before he could amonish their behavior, Filius Flitwick shoved a spoonful of the geletan into his mouth. Severus's eyebrows went up, and seeing their bowls empty, just brought the bowl over to them.
By the time Albus came with the parchment from the minister he heard laughter from the staff lounge. He entered and saw much of the food hadn't been touched and everyone was sitting at the far end. Minerva was laying on the floor rolling with laughter. her hair was hanging about her face her bun long abandoned. Severus had his face inside one of the geletan bowls licking every scrap out of it. He looked at Albus through the bottom of the bowl and continued to lick a far corner.
The elves had continued to provide new dishes each time a bowl was empty. Sighing Albus counted at least a bowl for every professor in the room.
Rolanda hadn't bothered with a spoon. Her face was covered with the green geletan, and like Severus had she was slurping her new bowl piece by peice.
Filius was using his wand to hover the gelitan over his mouth then catching it as it fell. Snapes face came out of the bowl with a resounding POP as he belched and said quite firmly "MORE GREEN STUFF"
Instead of a bowl, a house elf appeared. He saw it look at Snape and bow, before saying "Wes' hav na more green stuff , but wes av Blue stuff!" before presenting the bowl to Snape who nodded formaly to the house elf. Snapes face went into the bowl with a SPLAT and soft sucking sounds as he inhaled the Geletan. There was a collective pause as they watched him inhale.
Prim and proper Minerva sat up and began pumping her arm in a circle shouting "Whoo Whooo Whoo Whoo Whoo" as Severus ate. The other teachers stopped their eating to follow suit. When Severus's face got to the bottom of the bowl his eyes crossed and he fell back with a loud burp as the bowl clattered to the floor.
"ohhh that looks Wonderful" intoned Poppy who was cleaning her bowl with her fingers.
Albus felt a tug at his robes. It was a young house elf who had a large bowl with blue geletan in it. "Wous Head master likes his owns bowl?"
Albus regarded the bowl, then his teacher.
"do you have any of the red stuff left?" he asked? the house elf nodded and with a wave of his hand the bowl changed from blue to red. Albus sighed and picked up the spoon that was inside of the bowl, In a few moments he was lost in the rapture of the sweet fruit that danced down his throat.
The next morning Minerva felt a gentle scrubbing to her face. She tried to brush it away- but her brain felt welded to the floor.
She heard a groan beside her. She realized she was using prof Flitwick as a pillow, and he was snuggled next to prof Snape.
She managed to pry one eye open and saw Albus past the washing flannel as he wiped her face.
"You- you foul- loathsome evil cockroach. What the bloody hell swill did you present to us as edible fodder?" she managed before closing her eye again against the light that threatened to stab through it. She didn't hear or expect an answer. She felt something being spooned onto her lips that felt horribly swollen as her belly threatened to make the french revolution a walk in hyde park.
"We will discuss that later. What I would like to know is, why you and the others didn't eat any of the other food.?" the memory of the sheeps eye soup looking back up at her made her roll over to her side and empty the contents of her belly into Rolanda's lap. Rolanda was still fast asleep curled up with Poppy and didn't notice a thing.
Albus wiped her mouth again and spooned in another bit from a steaming goblet. Her head felt like the weasly twins were playing exploding snap inside.
" Because it looked back at us when we tried to eat it thats why!" she said groaning, holding her head as she managed to sit up and look at the teachers sprawled all over the floor. Albus waved his hand and dimmed the light in the room so that Minerva could look at him through squinted eyes.
"What did you do to us Albus? what could you possibly do to simple muggle geletan that would make it attack us with such ferocity? arn't we doing a good enough job for you?" she sniffed.
Large tears rolled down her cheaks as the room swam before her.
"the geletan didn't do anything to you, it was the other ingrediants..." he began, then saw she was looking at the table where several dishes of the blue stuff still remained. waving her hand she summoned one over to her and had half a hand ful in her mouth before he gently took the bowl away.
"Yes, dear, I know its very good, and may make you feel better, but trust me, its best if you don't eat any more of it right now." he said as he subsitiuted the bowl for the goblet with the dark steaming brew in it.
"and what is this?" she asked as he guided it to her lips.
" a muggle cure for what you have. " She looked at hm blankly.
"And what do I have?" she asked curious as she tried to edge the bowl toward her.
