Mummy's Boy

[Miss Q]

This is one of the funniest stories I've read in a long time. But couldn't someone please hit Albus (or his mother) in the head with something hard!?!

Please keep up the good work!
M

[laundry basket]

bwahaha. The underwear bit was priceless. Somebody needs to smack Alvina upside the nead, in my opinion.
Update soon, please!

[ιady ταвz]

MAN, IM DYING FOR AN UPDATE LOL

[oldestadmmshipper]

I agree. You should update soon. Albus's mother reminds me very much of my late wife's mother.

[PiER]

Oh Gosh! I would just die if my mother in law walked in on me in the shower. That Alvina seems at right busybody! But she does make for some hillarious writing!
I'm looking forward to an update!

PiER

[bethj4013]

what I want to see more great story and I think I have broken up with guys like how albus is acting right now for alot less he really needs to snap out of it

[kissofdeath]

~Matchmaking~


Back at the party, Albus was having an awful time. He felt horrible for leaving Minerva. Not to mention the fact that he was completely drawing attention from the celebrant. It seemed that every 5 minutes Alvina was dragging him to meet more of her “friends”

Albus had finally broken free from the crowd and was sipping some punch, enjoying the silence when Alvina approached him with an attractive blonde haired woman.

“Albus dear, this is Sylvia Kelly. Sylvia, this my son Albus.”

“How do you do, Mrs. Kelly?” asked Albus politely as he kissed Sylvia’s hand.

“ It’s an honor to meet you Albus, and please, call me Sylvia. Mrs. Kelly is my mother.”

“I think I’ll leave you two alone.” Said Alvina as she glanced back and forth between Albus and Sylvia mischievously.

“I really admire your work, Albus. How is it like to be the world’s greatest wizard?” asked Sylvia curiously.

“Well um, it’s-” he began but was cut off as a slow waltz began to play.

“Ooh, its my favorite tune. Care to dance, Albus?”

“Oh, I’m not really much of a dancer.”

“Oh rubbish." said Sylvia as she dragged Albus onto the dance floor.

Sylvia held one of Albus's hand in her's and took his other hand and let it slowly slide down from her shoulder, through her chest, and finally to her hip. She then let her hand rest on the back of his neck which she began to lightly stroke.

Albus was beginning to feel very uncomfortable. Sylvia was an attractive woman, but he felt she was being far too forward. Especially since they had just met. Not even 10 minutes ago. He was quite sure of this when Sylvia snuggled closer to him and he felt her hand on his neck drift farther south, then he was comfortable with. He was about to excuse himself when Sylvia looked up to him.

"Has anyone ever told you Albus, that your eyes are just like sapphires?" asked Sylvia as she looked into them.

Minerva had often said that to him. He'd say she had emerald eyes and she'd say he had sapphire ones. " Yes, actually. My wi-. Actually no. No one has ever said that to me." he said quickly.

"Well they are. They're just like two twinkling stars shining at me." With each word, Sylvia inched closer and closer to Albus, until her lips finally met their destination.

Albus gasped, which Sylvia misinterpreted as a sign of deepening the kiss, which she did immediately. Albus tried to pull away but was unsuccessfull. Sylvia wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed him against the wall, wrapping her legs around his waist. When she stopped to breathe, Albus quickly pulled away.

"Sylvia, stop. I can't do this. I'm sorry but I'm married."

Sylvia stepped back, shocked. "What? But your mother said you were single. And lonely."

Albus grew angry. "She what?"

"Yes. She said you were single and lonely. And that you had a bit of an -erm-"

"A bit of a what, Sylvia?"

Sylvia turned scarlet." A crush on me."

Albus immediately felt guilty. "I'm sorry Sylvia. But my heart belongs to someone else. I love my wife very much."

Sylvia gave a small smile. "Well whoever she is, she's very lucky. I'm sorry for all this trouble Albus. I really am."

"It's alright. You know, if you're still trying to find that one special someone, my brother Aberforth is still single."

Sylvia's smile grew wider. "Really? Well you'll just have to introduce me sometime. It was lovely meeting you Albus." Sylvia walked away to rejoin her friends.

Albus smiled. She really was a nice woman. She and Aberforth would make a lovely couple. There was no time for that now though. Now he had to find his mother, which wasn't going to be very difficult since after witnessing the scene that had just taken place, Alvina was walking toward Albus quickly.

"Albus Dumbledore, what is the matter with you. I finally find someone decent and suitable for you, and you ruin it!" scolded Alvina

"What, and Minerva isn't suitable and decent?"

"No! She is not!"

Albus was just speechless. He was already angry at his mother for trying to set him up. But to say that his wife, the woman whom he loved more than anything else wasn't right for him, there was just no words to describe what he felt right now.

"And why is that mother? Is it because I picked her out instead of you? Is it because I chose my own wife instead of letting you choose for me? Mother, I can't take it anymore. What is it that you have against Minerva?"

"Albus, she just isn't right for you. You could do so much better with someone else. If you would only let me help you. I could find the perfect woman for you."

"I don't care! I love Minerva! She is my soul mate, my one true love, my destiny! And who do you think you are telling me who is or isn't right for me?"

"I'm your mother Albus and you will do as I say! Aren't you tired of being in the middle between Minerva and I? If you just listen to me, there won't be a middle anymore. We'll just be one big happy family with your new wife."

Albus stared at her, emotionless for a while. "You're right mother. I'm tired of being in the middle between you too."

Alvina smiled victoriously.

"I'm going back to Minerva and I never want to see you again." Albus walked past Alvina, and left the party.

Unfortunetly, this was only the beggining of Albus' problems for little did he know that Rita Skeeter was at the party and had managed to get a shot of him and Sylvia in a position that would give many the wrong idea and impression. At least, those who would read tomorrow's Daily Prophet.

"This will make a marvelous front page." said Rita Skeeter as she looked at the picture of Albus and Sylvia kissing with Sylvia's legs wrapped around his waist and Albus's arms around her waist.

[mmadlyinlove]

Oh HHHHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOO! *covers mouth.. glares at you and slaps your arm* Look what you made me do! You just made me curse.... *glares at you* I will only forgive you if you clean this mess up RIGHT NOW! *turns to leave* Oh look, my ride is here, and it's a huff, I think I'll leave in it! *leaves in a huff.... like Jack McFarland* ~mmadlyinlove~

[childminerva]

I have been going crazy while reading this latest chapter...first, "I'm going to kill his mother!" Then, "I'm going to kill Albus!" Then, "finally he does the right thing!" Then..."oh sh**."

I am definitely looking forward to an update...though I'm a little worried about Minerva's reaction!

[osusprinks]

OH NO OH NO OH NO

....

....

I just don't know what to say.

....

....

Oh gosh, this has... oh so bad. I can't even begin to say how much I want to physically hurt Alvina. I am going to strangle her. And that bloody Skeeter woman. Poor Min. AAAAHHHH.

Please update soon.

P.s. you are amazing. I just thought you should know that.

[jayejaye]

*Queues up to hurt Alvina*
then Rita...and maybe Albus if he doesn't shape up soon.

How did I miss this fic??? I have to insist on a slow painful death for Alvina...I have lots of ideas :-)
I can't wait for an update. Jaye :-)

[laundry basket]

Oh, no she did not!

That b*tch.... I swear, I want her gone....

ERG, update, NOW!

[Hogwarts Duo]

Hmm, let's see...first Minerva needs to immobilize Albus and stuff him in a corner. Second, she needs to transform into her animagus form and scratch the living daylights out of his wretched mother. Then, she can switch back, giving Albus the worst rant she could possibly imagine before sitting back and letting him finally try to make amends.

And let me say there had better be some serious fluff-age and romance involved in his weeping apology!

Great update btw!!!

[kissofdeath]

Thanks for the reviews guys. I won't say how this story will end exactly but I promise that Albus and Minerva won't split up. At least not permenantly. Sylvia's gonna have a happy ending too. Both her and Aberforth. I used Sylvia as both a little joke which you'd understand if you've ever read the play. "The goat"

[osusprinks]

I'm glad Sylvia will be okay. I was seconds away from wanting to kill her too, until she explained and I turned the rage toward Alvina. GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

[furandfeathers]

Yeah, Sylvia was almost the victim of an unfortunate accident....efforts will now be directed at Alvina, Rita, and Albus...in that order I love this please update soon!!

[kissofdeath]

It's actually pretty interesting, because when I started this story I really disliked one of my teachers and wanted to include her in my story as a sort of trampy character who everyone would hate, but now I don't dislike her anymore so I decided to make Sylvia just a victim of Alvina and give her a happy ending with Aberforth.

Chapter 8 ~Explanations~


Poppy, Alastor, Pomona, and Rolanda had spent hours trying to calm Minerva down and assure her that her marriage with Albus would work out. It wasn't until around 5 A.M. that they got Minerva completely calm down. Unfortunetly, it was around 5 a.m. that the Daily Prophet was delivered.

"Alastor darling, would you be a dear and grab the daily prophet out off the fireplace?" asked Poppy.

Alastor obediently picked up the newspaper and gaped when he saw the front page. He was about to hide it when Rolanda saw him.

"Here, let me say that for a minute. I wanna see the commentary for last week's quidditch-BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!" Rolanda yelled as she saw the front page

"What? What is it? What's wrong?" asked Minerva as she got up from the couch and made to grab the newspaper.

Rolanda hid it behind her. "Oh um, um, um, the Chudley Canons made it into the finals." she quickly made up.

"Really? Here, let me see that." Minerva tried to get the newspaper.

Rolanda hid it behind her back. "It's really nothing, Min. You know, you've been up all night. You really should take a rest."

"Ro! What is it? Let me see that paper!" Minerva grabbed it out of Rolanda's hands.

Minerva turned the paper over and collapsed to her knees. Her face was blank except for the tears filling in her eyes threatening to spill down her face.

Pomona and Poppy glanced over Minerva's shoulder and gasped at the sight.

"Oh Minerva, this all a big misunderstanding. I'm sure of it." said Poppy comfortingly.

"How could it be a misunderstanding? He's kissing her, and by the looks of it, he's enjoying himself." sobbed Minerva

"Min, you don't know that. You should just let him explain himself." said Pomona

"No. I'm done. I just can't take it anymore. First, he leaves me to go with his mother, then he goes and snogs another woman. And for all I know, he could have done more than just snog her!"

"Min! You can't be thinking that Albus cheated on you!" exclaimed Rolanda

"I don't know what to think anymore." Minerva said softly.

"Minerva, Albus loves you. He wouldn't do something like that to you." said Alastor.

"Aye. He loves me. Just not as much as I thought -hoped I should say- he did."

Just then, Albus came into the room and knelt beside Minerva.

"Minerva, my love, I am so sorry. I never should have left you. I never should have let her stay with us. From now on I'll always be on your side. Please say you forgive me." Albus begged her

Minerva stayed silent for a while. "Is that all you're sorry for Albus?"

Albus was puzzled for a minute. "Well, yes. Is there something else?"

Minerva showed him the article. It had a picture of him and Sylvia snogging rather intensely. The headline read "Grindlewald's defeater has found love at last!" underneath was a few paragraphs about him and Sylvia's "relationship" which was confirmed by none other than Alvina. One of Alvina's quotes in bold read "I am absolutely thrilled that Albus has found his true love at last. Sylvia is absolutely perfect for him and I am certain that they will be absolutely happy with each other. Why, judging by how they're going at it right now, it shouldn't be long until I'm a grandmother."

"Minerva, I can explain. Mother set me up I-"

Minerva held her hand up to silence him. "I really don't care anymore, Albus. You know something funny? Alvina has never said anything nearly as nice as what she said anout Sylvia to me. I guess you and Sylvia really are meant to be." Minerva got up to leave the room, but Albus got up and grabbed her by the arm.

"Albus let me go."

"No. I'm not letting you or this marriage go."

"It's a little late for that now, Albus. This marriage is already gone. I love you but I just can't take it anymore. I'm done. I really do hope you make Sylvia as happy as you've made me. goodbye albus."

"Minerva, No! I love you. I swear. Nothing happened between Sylvia and me! It was all mother's fault."

"Albus do you have any idea what a marriage is? It's something between 2 people. A man and a woman. Not a man, a woman, and that man's mother. From the very beginning, she's been part of this marriage. We couldn't even go on our honeymoon because of her "chest pains". Not to mention how she objected at our wedding because she was "afraid she was forcing you to do something you didn't really want to do" .She has always made everything a living hell for me, with all her hurtful remarks. And what did you do while she did this to me? NOTHING! You just sat there and watched!"

Albus took a step back from shock. Everything Minerva had said was true. He had let his mother do everything to torment Minerva without doing so much as lifting a finger to try and help the situation. Well, not anymore. From this moment on, he was going to do everything to make Minerva happy. He let Minerva know this.

Minerva took a deep breath. "There is only one thing you can do to make me happy."

"Anything." Albus said eagerly.

Minerva raised her left hand. Albus watched her curiously until he realized what she was doing. Slowly and shakily Minerva slipped her engagement and wedding ring off and to Albus' horror, handed them to him.

"And is that what would make you happy, dearest?" asked Albus despite the tears streaming down his face.

Minerva nodded.

"Well, as long as your happy. That is all that matters. Good bye Minerva." Albus turned and walked away, as tears rolled down his face.

As soon as he walked out the door, Minerva collapsed to the floor in tears.

[furandfeathers]

WHAT! OMG. Talk about a communication gap. Someone needs to tie them to chairs and make them talk to eachother.


great story, though ;D

[lemonygingersnaps]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - Two great updates and an evil cliffie! :-(

[osusprinks]

This isn't my computer so I am trying to restrain myself from throwing it out the window!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

How could she have done that? How could he have done that? How could they have not gone after Alvina and strangled her? Oh my goodness. I don't even know how to fix this. Oh my.

Excellent job by the way!

[Hogwarts Duo]

I am so mad at Albus right now that it's not even funny. He has been a jerk since the beginning and now he's just walking away without any sort of effort to make things better???

I know you'll fix this but I don't know how...I just hope it's soon because I'm dying of suspense over here!

[childminerva]

"Why, judging by how they're going at it right now, it shouldn't be long until I'm a grandmother."

*silent scream*
OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

I do hope they work things out soon...poor Min.

[LadyJolly]

noooo!!! I hope Minerva comes to her senses!! and Albus' mother feel extrememly guilt!!! because she should!! though I do think this is more of drama now than humor because just the thought of them seperating is quite well...depressing anyways they better work this out!
Keep up the good work!

Lady Jolly

[mmadlyinlove]

ALRIGHT THAT IS IT! I HAVE A SHOVEL AND A NIGHTLAMP! I SAY UNDER THE COVER OF DARKNESS WE FIND, KILL, AND BURY ALVINA AND RITA SKEETER! Well, perhaps not kill them, but bury them alive. You know? That would be great. And then smack Albus around a few times until he realizes what a mistake he made by letting Min go so easily, and then talk some sense into Min..... Bleh! Good job. ~mmadlyinlove~

[Deleted]

It is really not funny!

This is sad, poor Min.

I hope you get everything happy again.

[ιady ταвz]

what the mother effing just happened??? OMG!!!!!!!!! im having "CHEST PAINS!!!"

this better get better =S

[osusprinks]

You know, you are right Mynix, this isn't funny. But our reactions have been hilarious, so I have hope that it will turn to happiness soon!

[Ivy_Wize]

Ye gods, this Alvina lady is scaring me. She reminds me a wee bit of a certain psychopath I know... But I digress. I love this story, and Sylvia is priceless. And the play in question is really funny, if anyone who isn't Aberforth cares to read it.

[Drake]

Ohmugush!!!!

KILL KILL KILL!!!!!!! KIIIIIIIIILL!!!!

Ahem. I'm ok now.

*kills Alvina ded*

[laundry basket]

THAT'S IT, ALVINA, I'VE GOT A FORK AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!

Ergggg, evil cliffies! Update NOW!