The Drunken Deputy (newly revised)

[mmadcrazyfan]

Minerva McGonagall was sitting in a coner chair, near the fireplace in the staff room. The staff was having a (rather rowdy, in her opinion) party to celebrate the end of the school year. Minerva sniffed dissapprovingly as Filius Flitwick danced on top of the staff table to a song by "The Weird Sisters" to a happy applause.

Minerva looked around. The only person that seemed more miserable then her was Snape.

Minerva suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. "May I have a word, Minerva?" asked Dumbledore. "Of course." replied Minerva crisply. Anythig to get away from this rowdiness. They had enough of that with the children, why couldn't they just all go home?

Albus led the both of them off to a side chamber near the staff room. He put his hands on Minerva's waist and dropped a light kiss onto her lips.

"What on earth was that for?" Minerva barked. "To try and get you to stop acting as though we're 5th years at a Quittich party. And- you look fabulous tonight, and if we hadn't been keeping our romance hidden, that would've been done when you first walked in."

"I just want to go home. I haven't got a descent night's sleep since September 1st. I want to be at a perfect liberty to hold your hand, or kiss you, or call you darling whenever I want, instead of bottleing all my love up for hours and hours only to see you for a half of an hour right before the staff meeting."

"Min, don't be such a downer. Get a drink and loosen up. It will all be over before you know it."

Minerva gave him a scathing look that soften when he kised her again. "Oh, all right then...." she said.

When they rejoined the party, the staff looked at them expectantly. "Well, our dear Transfiguration Professor has decided to stop treating us like teenagers!" said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkleing over to the love of his life.

Minerva sighed at the over- enthusiastic applause given to her by her best friend, Xia Hooch.

"Sure you won't give us dentention?" asked Xia sarcasticly. "No. Best keep you toes in line." replied Minerva waspishly.

She was poured a scottish brand of fire-whisky, one of her favorites. She quickly downed the glass, pouring herself another. And another. And another. It went on until she couldn't really distinguish who she was, and then everything went black.

[mmadcrazyfan]

Part Two...yay! ;D

"Oh Merlin. She's passed out." said Xia Hooch. "I suppose I can take her back. It's not like I haven't dealt with this before...."

"No need, Xiamara, I shall get her. You and the rest of the staff can get packing." replied Dumbledore.

"Okay, but I warn you, she's really very off when she's like this. Her emotions are rather.....well......she PMS's quite a bit. Oh, and sometimes she looks like she;s completely fine, and then she either curses you into oblivian and passes out, or just passes out."

"I assure you...I can handle this." replied Dumbledore. "I do beleive I know my deputy well enough to handle her in this..delicate state."

Xia looked questionigly at him, and he began to search his pockets rather frantically for a shebert lemon.

"Ah, well, suppose I don't have any, see you tommorw Xiamara!" sid Dumbledore rather quickly.

He lifted Minerva up off of the ground and started up the stair case, not daring to look back at the flying instructor.

Minerva's eyes flickered open. "PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!" she screeched. "I CAN HANDLE MYSELF, YOU ARE TREATING ME LIKE A SCHOOL GIRL YOU STUPID OLD MAN, GET AWAY FROM ME! LEAVE ME, LIKE MY SISTER DID!" Minerva started out shouting and ended up crying. "Oh-oh she left-when I- was a teenager-I looked- up to her- for so very long- and then she was gone-she-went-to-help- Gridelwald!" every word was puntuated with a sob, as Dumbledore lookd confusedly down at his deputy.



COMMENT ARE MUCH APPRIACIATED! UPDATES WILL BE MADE ASAP, PROMISE! <!3

[ιady ταвz]

wow! i want to read more please, its gonna be interesting.

[silvertabby]

nice, but if they weren't together it would've been even more funny.
s

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

oooo interesting, please continue with the great work =]

[mmadcrazyfan]

Yay! i GOT REVIEWS! man, i feel so loved right now, haha.
Okay, well, sorry it's taken me so ve long to update, but school has been absolutly nuts.

Section Three

"Minerva?" said Dumbledore uncertainly. "Min?"

"Don't you "Min" me!" replied McGonagall suddenly looking very angry again.

Dumbledore sighed. "I apologize. Shall I bring you to your chambers? You don't look to well."

McGonagall was beginning to look a bit faint again. "I suppose.." she replied quietly.

Dumbledore took advantage of her sudden vulnurabilty and picked her up, again setting off in the direction to her chambers.

"FREEZE!" shouted Minerva suddenly, her lips thin and her eyes flashing.

Dumbledore quickly put her down and looked at her questioningly.
"Peeks, Coote, what are you two doing out this time of night?" she said, her eyebrows knitting themselves together. She looked expectantly at a span of solid brick wall.

"So..you have nothing to say for yourselves? Out in the middle of the night? Both of you will meet me in detention, and 15 points from Gryffindor. And if you give me that look again, Peeks, it shall be 50." she turned and strode away, stumbling slightly, and then looking back to where Dumbledore was standing, his eyes sparkeling, looking as if he was holding in a laugh with extreme difficulty.

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

lol keep going! =]

[ιady ταвz]

omg! woman is insane . . . ubberly PSYCHO! lol

[tabbykit]

Please update quickly! This is hilarious!!

[mmadcrazyfan]

Dumbledore tried not to smile as he walked quietly toward his wife. "My dear, I do beleive that we should be getting to bed.." he said.

"IS THAT ALL YOU THINK ABOUT?!" screamed Minerva. "UGH!" She stomped off, stumbling, and occasionally taking points away from spans of solid wall and suits of armor.

A very amused Albus stood behind her, as if to catch her if she fell. He found himself thinking how very symbolic that was. They had gotten together at first becasue the world was just so much on the both of them and they needed someone. It turned to love. He smiled to himself as he thought about he and Minerva's love.

"What are you smiriking at? He had no right to throw that dungbomb at poor Xiamora. Although, she did deserve it...." said Minerva, occaisionally slurring her words a slight bit.

Albus smiled gently. "I was simply thinking of our wedding.." he said. He hoped that Minerva would start thinking of that and not of taking points away from students.Well. Walls. It was getting rather difficult to hold his laughter in, and if she worried less about how the children were doing and thought of thier wedding, she ould stop trying to protect them from (the now gone..) Dolores Umbridge by taking points away from them herself.

Which would be why she was extra strict last year. She was afraid that Unbridge would pick on the childen if she didnt feel like they were being disiplined enough. Dumbledore now looked at his wife with more respect then he ever had. If she as disiplining random objects, she must subconsciensly be worrying about the children.

He grabbed her hand, and walked up to the painting that Ariana painted when she was little. "Love" he said to it, and the wall it was hanging on slid open. Minerva stumbled in and Albus was left to clamor in after her. As he did he caught a quick glimpse of the picture that Ariana had painted.

Oh, good heavens. He was a stupid old man. He didn't deserve Minerva. He didn't deserve the love of his pupils. Today was her birthday. It was Ariana's birthday. And he had forgotton. He had a party and drank. And it was her birthday.

Albus gasped and was brought out of his revier from a loud *slam*. He looked around. Minerva had passed out on the coffee table, and was falling off of it as she stood. He ran over, caught her, and laid her down to bed.

She wasn't asleep, but she would be there shortly. He shouldnt bother her..he would kip in his office tonight.

Albus transformed Minerva's robes into her nightgown and covered her up, kissing her softly on the lips. She kissed back, her eyes till closed, her body still relaxed. "I didn't mean to disturb you. Go sleep." said Alus gently. He turned to go, but was held back.

Dumbledore turned to his wife, who was now holding him back. "Don't I get a kiss goodnight?" she asked coyly. Albus could see where this was going, but a kiss wouldn't hurt. He bent down and pecked her lightly, and made to pull up, but Minerva held him there. He didn''t feel love a he usually did when he kissed her. He just felt to alarming overness of it
all.

He seized his wife's hands and pulled them off his neck. "Minerva, I refuse to take advantage of you. You married a gentleman." he turned and walked out, going to kip in his office. She needed sleep to get better, and he didn't trust himself with Minerva when she was like this. He could not take advantage of her, wife or not.

Minerva had never felt this betrayed (or tired..) in her life. "IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED, I AM THROWING MYSELF AT YOU, YOU STUPID OLD MAN! AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?! GODS, WHAT I YOUR PROBLEM?!" She began to cry, and then forgot what she was crying about in the first place. All she knew is that she was very, very tired. She layed down, and everything just went away....

"Fawkes, should I have stayed?" ask Ablus the moment he walked in the door. Fawkes looked indignant that he had even considered it. (Fawkes was also a well-bred gentleman)Albus shook his head. "No I tohught not." he sat down and leaned his head against the back of the chair. Albus was really quite tired..

Poor Minerva.

Poor Ariana.

Albus suddenly opened his eyes, an a bottle of firwhisky. It was going to be a hard night....




REVIEWS? ANYONE? haha. thankyou to the people who have reviewed this already =]

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

ooooogetting more interesting, great work =] keep it up! more please

[tabbykit]

Oooo...such a gentleman! Fawkes too! LOL

[mmadcrazyfan]

haha, yepp.
i shall update soon, but school keeps getting in the way >=0 lol

[mmadcrazyfan]

**looks around shyly**
huh. i havent updated anything in a bit, now have i?
ugh. im sorry. i hope you all havent given up on this story. uhm, review and such.
okay, ill shut up now. on with the last chapter!!!


---------------------------------------------------------

Albus awoke to the sun streaming into his chambers and onto his desk. He had a throbbing headache.

"Fawkes? Please fetch me two hangover potions. The heavy doses, if you will." siad the professor softly.

Fawkes swopped gracefully of his sun-bathed purch to retrieve the objects that his master had asked for, and Albus was left to think.

Last night had not been good. Minerva had gotten completly wasted at his proposel. Then she had throw herself at him. It took every ounce of self control he had to tear himself away from her feiry green eyes and slightly (drunkenly) flushed red cheecks.

And Ariana. Oh, Ariana. Yesterday was his baby's birthday. His little sister, the one who he was supposed to take care of, and he didn't even go to her grave. The grave he might have very possibly put her into.

He slowly sipped one of the potions that Fawkes had layed down next to him and picked the other vial up, inteding on taking it to Minerva. If she wasn't awake, he would sit with her.

He said the password and made his way into their rooms, his eyes falling onto the firgure on the bed. She looked so peaceful, and he was so upset about his sister that he was going to wreck her peace? No. He would simply stay here until she woke up.
Albus pulled a chiar up beside the bed and layed his head onto Minerva's chest, finding her heartbeat and breathing so very soothing. Her smell was all around him, he felt so safe and at home.

He quickly drifted off to sleep in the arms of his beloved.
_____________________
Minerva woke up quite suddenly, as though something had signaled her. She looked at the the sleeping form of her husband. His head was laying on her chest. Minerva ever so gently lifted Albus' head up and sat up, laying his head back down, but this time on her lap, so she could stroke his hair.

Albus woke up shortly after that. "Min, I'm sorry for not staying here last night, but you were a little-- over exhuberent at the party, and-"

Minerva hushed him. "It's fine, dear."

Albus nodded. Suddenly his lips came crushing to hers, and she felt so much need pouring into her.

"What? What is it? What's happened?" she asked when they broke apart. She noticed the faintest trace of tears in his eyes.

"Yesterday was Arian's birthday, Min. I forgot." he said. Minerva heard the devestation in his voice when he siad it.

"Oh, my dear..." she siad as tears began to spill down his cheecks.

"I'm sorry. I should be strong. I shouldn't need to be comforted."
Minerva smiled a bit and signaled for him to lay in the bed next to her. When he did, she took him into her arms and said: "Then what would I be for, my darling?" before kissing him tenderly.

They fell asleep in each other's arms knowing that all ending would somehow end up happy.

*fin*


AN: was that to sappy? i liked it but i wrote for you all, so please read and review.

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

awwww loved that fic =] great work!!!! =]

[tabbykit]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mmadcrazyfan]

Thank-you all.
I'm revising this, because my grammar and spelling is shameful here.

[jkamd18]

You've still got a bit of grammar mistakes but apart from that the story was great. it was a bit sappy but it was really funny too!!

[ladyearth]

Whoa! I'd fallen to the floor laughing like hell! Poor Albus. But hey A drunken Minerva talking to walls...50 points to the Deputy Headmistress!! Oh Gee...lol

[fallingmoon]

Wow, that was great. I'm laughing so hard right now. Excellent job.

[mmadcrazyfan]

thankyou all!

[horcruxhorror]

dang she was totally schnockered

[Mandy McGonagall-Dumbledore]

I looove it!!