Post by beMMADfabulous on Oct 23, 2007 16:31:31 GMT -5
A/N:: Well, in my fic “MMAD Fans Attack!”, a few of us MMAD fans went after JK after she sunk our dear ship the first time. Since JK has claimed Albus was gay, I thought someone else needed a “go” at her. 
This is not really that funny, btw, but I had nowhere else to put it except for Humour.
This is all in fun, people! I’m not trying to be rude at JK at all.
FanFic 100 Challenge #:: 43- Square
A loud crack from somewhere outside startled the blonde Muggle sitting on her large, luxurious couch. For some reason, the noise had sounded exactly like someone… No, what was she thinking? People can’t really Apparate, after all! She was the one that made all that up; she should know better. It was probably just the sound of the neighbor’s stupid cat again.
A sudden knock at the door made her jump and gasp.
“I’m losing my mind. That’s all there is to it…” she thought as she walked over to answer the door.
“Ms. Rowling, I presume?”
Rowling’s jaw dropped as she nodded her head feebly. Before her stood an older, stern-looking woman with square-framed glasses and a high bun in her hair. She looked exactly like…
“No,” Rowling said in a shaky voice.
“You’re not?”
“I mean yes, but… Who are you?”
As soon as she had asked, she wished she hadn’t. Rowling gawked at the woman’s strange attire- emerald green robes quite unlike anything she had ever seen, except in her imagination.
“I would be Minerva McGonagall to you,” the woman said sharply.
“I need to sit down,” Rowling exclaimed, staggering back towards the couch.
Minerva entered the house. The door closed behind her, seemingly on its own volition. Rowling rubbed her throbbing temples as Minerva took out her wand and waved it once, presenting herself a simple but elegant chair.
“I’m dreaming,” Rowling said positively.
“You seem perfectly awake to me,” Minerva sniffed as she sat down in her chair. “Of course, I could pinch you just to make certain..”
“No, thank you!”
“I came here today to offer you an ultimatum,” Minerva went on as if nothing previous had been said.
“An ultimatum?”
“Yes, that’s what I said. I’m beginning to believe you need your ears cleaned out, dear.”
“What is this about, exactly?” Rowling asked anxiously.
Minerva sat up straighter in her chair, giving herself a suddenly harsher appearance.
“I was informed that you made recent accusations that Albus Dumbledore is-is…”
“Gay?” Rowling asked.
Minerva’s lips thinned threateningly, and the color flushed from her face.
“Just because you have written about us does not guarantee that you know everything.”
“You sound exactly like… Oh no!”
A shadow of a grin crossed Minerva’s face as Rowling’s eyes widened.
“Those darling Muggle girls who so cleverly call themselves ‘MMAD fans’? Yes. They wanted to come, but I insisted that this was my opportunity.”
“Thank goodness,” Rowling exclaimed with a sigh.
“You underestimate me, Ms. Rowling. I assure you that I cannot be persuaded by the mere offering of cookies.”
Rowling swallowed hard.
“Of course not…”
Another brief smile crossed Minerva’s face.
“They’re charming girls, don’t you think?” Minerva asked.
“Well, I’m not sure charming is the proper word for them.”
“Anyways,” Minerva said, waving a hand in the air. “My advice to you is to be very careful of the claims you continue to make.”
“Claims?”
“Really, shall I see to it that your ears are properly cleaned?” Minerva asked as she raised her wand to Rowling.
“No, no, no! Go on, please.”
Minerva lowered her wand with a sigh.
“As I was saying, first you proclaim that I was never in love with Albus Dumbledore, and now you accuse him of being homosexual! It was terrible enough when you had written that he was dead.”
“So you’re saying-“
“I’m saying, obviously- though I’m not quite sure that any of this is actually registering in your brain- that it will not do for you to continue telling these lies.”
“Dumbledore’s not dead?” Rowling asked. “What am I talking about? He’s not even real!”
Minerva scoffed.
“Not real? Then how, may I ask, do you find that I am sitting here before you? No, he’s not dead- very far from being so. Likewise, Ms. Rowling, neither is he homosexual, but yes, I am in love with him. I have been for longer than you have been born.”
For the first time, Rowling noticed the two rings on Minerva’s left ring finger.
“You’re married?” Rowling asked.
Minerva nodded, a smile blossoming freely on her face now. She stood and waved her wand once more, and the chair vanished. She leaned closer to Rowling’s somewhat fearful face.
“So I warn you now that if we must meet again for another reason such as this, our meeting will not be a pleasant one. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I understand.”
Minerva stood back up to her full height and pushed up her glasses.
“Very good. Goodbye, Ms. Rowling, and don’t forget- you have been warned.”
With one blink and another loud crack, Minerva was gone, her words still hanging thick and threateningly in the air. Rowling shook her head and lay back onto the couch.
“I need therapy.”
THE END
This is not really that funny, btw, but I had nowhere else to put it except for Humour.This is all in fun, people! I’m not trying to be rude at JK at all.
FanFic 100 Challenge #:: 43- Square
Minerva’s Warning
A loud crack from somewhere outside startled the blonde Muggle sitting on her large, luxurious couch. For some reason, the noise had sounded exactly like someone… No, what was she thinking? People can’t really Apparate, after all! She was the one that made all that up; she should know better. It was probably just the sound of the neighbor’s stupid cat again.
A sudden knock at the door made her jump and gasp.
“I’m losing my mind. That’s all there is to it…” she thought as she walked over to answer the door.
“Ms. Rowling, I presume?”
Rowling’s jaw dropped as she nodded her head feebly. Before her stood an older, stern-looking woman with square-framed glasses and a high bun in her hair. She looked exactly like…
“No,” Rowling said in a shaky voice.
“You’re not?”
“I mean yes, but… Who are you?”
As soon as she had asked, she wished she hadn’t. Rowling gawked at the woman’s strange attire- emerald green robes quite unlike anything she had ever seen, except in her imagination.
“I would be Minerva McGonagall to you,” the woman said sharply.
“I need to sit down,” Rowling exclaimed, staggering back towards the couch.
Minerva entered the house. The door closed behind her, seemingly on its own volition. Rowling rubbed her throbbing temples as Minerva took out her wand and waved it once, presenting herself a simple but elegant chair.
“I’m dreaming,” Rowling said positively.
“You seem perfectly awake to me,” Minerva sniffed as she sat down in her chair. “Of course, I could pinch you just to make certain..”
“No, thank you!”
“I came here today to offer you an ultimatum,” Minerva went on as if nothing previous had been said.
“An ultimatum?”
“Yes, that’s what I said. I’m beginning to believe you need your ears cleaned out, dear.”
“What is this about, exactly?” Rowling asked anxiously.
Minerva sat up straighter in her chair, giving herself a suddenly harsher appearance.
“I was informed that you made recent accusations that Albus Dumbledore is-is…”
“Gay?” Rowling asked.
Minerva’s lips thinned threateningly, and the color flushed from her face.
“Just because you have written about us does not guarantee that you know everything.”
“You sound exactly like… Oh no!”
A shadow of a grin crossed Minerva’s face as Rowling’s eyes widened.
“Those darling Muggle girls who so cleverly call themselves ‘MMAD fans’? Yes. They wanted to come, but I insisted that this was my opportunity.”
“Thank goodness,” Rowling exclaimed with a sigh.
“You underestimate me, Ms. Rowling. I assure you that I cannot be persuaded by the mere offering of cookies.”
Rowling swallowed hard.
“Of course not…”
Another brief smile crossed Minerva’s face.
“They’re charming girls, don’t you think?” Minerva asked.
“Well, I’m not sure charming is the proper word for them.”
“Anyways,” Minerva said, waving a hand in the air. “My advice to you is to be very careful of the claims you continue to make.”
“Claims?”
“Really, shall I see to it that your ears are properly cleaned?” Minerva asked as she raised her wand to Rowling.
“No, no, no! Go on, please.”
Minerva lowered her wand with a sigh.
“As I was saying, first you proclaim that I was never in love with Albus Dumbledore, and now you accuse him of being homosexual! It was terrible enough when you had written that he was dead.”
“So you’re saying-“
“I’m saying, obviously- though I’m not quite sure that any of this is actually registering in your brain- that it will not do for you to continue telling these lies.”
“Dumbledore’s not dead?” Rowling asked. “What am I talking about? He’s not even real!”
Minerva scoffed.
“Not real? Then how, may I ask, do you find that I am sitting here before you? No, he’s not dead- very far from being so. Likewise, Ms. Rowling, neither is he homosexual, but yes, I am in love with him. I have been for longer than you have been born.”
For the first time, Rowling noticed the two rings on Minerva’s left ring finger.
“You’re married?” Rowling asked.
Minerva nodded, a smile blossoming freely on her face now. She stood and waved her wand once more, and the chair vanished. She leaned closer to Rowling’s somewhat fearful face.
“So I warn you now that if we must meet again for another reason such as this, our meeting will not be a pleasant one. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I understand.”
Minerva stood back up to her full height and pushed up her glasses.
“Very good. Goodbye, Ms. Rowling, and don’t forget- you have been warned.”
With one blink and another loud crack, Minerva was gone, her words still hanging thick and threateningly in the air. Rowling shook her head and lay back onto the couch.
“I need therapy.”
THE END
x
