Desperate Housewitches

[mcgonagallrocks]

[glow=red,2,300]

Desperate Housewitches

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Authors: Angeldust and McGonagallrocks

Rating-If you're old enough to be on this bored you can read it. (may go up in the future)

Disclaimer: Neither me nor my co writer own anything. We're making no money what so ever.

Chapter 1

"Honestly Albus why do we have to go all the way to the United States?" Minerva McGonagall collapsed on a chair in her husband's office. "I already told you Tabby it's far enough away from here to actually have a vacation but close enough if Voldemort starts anything that we can come back." he replied with a smile.
"Albus!" Minerva shot him a glare usually reserved for students in detention.
"Surly a sensible person like yourself can say his name."
"Albus I'm warning you. Even if you are Headmaster I will turn you into a mouse."
"You wouldn't."
"Just try me." She glared again.

"Why don't you ask Poppy or Rolanda to come along?" Albus suggested quickly changing the topic, "We could make it a double date get a way." "And the Daily Prophet calls you crazy." Minerva got up to give him a kiss. "I'll ask Rho at breakfast."

*******************************************************

Edi craned her neck over the fence again. Who were these new people moving into the house by the Applewhites? From what she had seen of the furniture they looked like they had taste like Rex and Bree. She rolled her eyes. Wisteria Lane wasn't ready for another Bree.

"Spying on the new neighbors are we Edi?" Bree appeared. As always her shocking red hair was perfect. Today it was pulled back into a low pony tail with a ribbon that matched her blouse. "I'm not spying just curious." Edi was snapped back into reality.
"I know you better than that."
"It looks like we have a new Bree and Rex on the block."
"I resent that comment."
"What? From the furniture they have a lost in common with you and Rex. The beds are HUGE."

"Wow!" Edi exclaimed. A tall man with long grey hair and a beard to match appeared a about 9 yards from Edi and Bree. "I take it that's one of the new neighbors." Bree chuckled at Edi.
"There has to be more the man. Than just him. I saw two beds at least."
"Edi stop being so nosey!"
"Bit me!"

All of a sudden 3 more people appeared next to the man. Any wizard or witch in the world almost could have told you the tall man was Albus Dumbledore. The other three weren’t quite as well known. The black haired witch was his wife Minerva McGonagall. The grey haired witch next to her Rolanda Hooch and the final wizard that looked to be honest like a vampire Severus Snape.

*******************************************************

"Albus we're being watched." Minerva looked at Bree and Edi out of the corner of her eye. "And what of it Tabby?" Albus asked."
"They're muggles!" she said annoyed. "Min calm down." Rolanda said. "I will not! We're not getting exposed." Minerva said harshly. "In heat are we Minerva?" Severus teased.
"Do you wish to spend the rest of this vacation as a mouse Severus?"
"I'm going to the basement in that case." he gave Rolanda a kiss and headed for the basement.

(author's note um there is a little more explanation about the HP characters I know cause this might go on a DH site too)
[glow=red,2,300]Please review!!![/glow]

[emeraldeyes]

This seems really interesting! I really like the idea, and it definitely catches one up! Great job, ladies! All I would improve is the occasional spelling mistake, but we all make them. Can't wait for an update!

[childminerva]

yay...nice ficcy, just as the new Desperate Housewives season is about to begin!!! Life is good.
My entire family watches DH, even my dad which is just funny. We've just moved to a new neighborhood that could very well be Wisteria Lane-there's even wisteria growing.
Nice avatar, btw. Update soon!

[mcgonagallrocks]

Thanks I just found it on a site Kaitlyn showed me. Oh note to everyone Rex is stil alive in this story. George never messed with his medis but George is dead.

[angeldust]

Chapter 2 - By Kaitlyn

At a half past 8 the next morning Wisteria lane was alive and buzzing with activity. Rumours and excitement encircled the new neighbours along with the hopes that they would be nothing alike the Applewhites who had recently vanished from their home.
Minerva McGonagall stood silently in her holiday kitchen starring out across the lane. She found this whole place terribly eerie, for a woman who desired everything in its place and basked in cleanliness and order for her to find a place too perfect was odd. The lawns were just too green, the houses to freshly painted and the women were all stunningly beautiful there wasn’t a place on earth that could be this perfect. Minerva was determined to find out what sordid secrets hid behind those facades of smiles and green lawns.

She couldn’t believe Albus had brought her to a muggle town, an American muggle town no less! She detested not being able to use magic everything was so difficult without it. Only Albus could see such a holiday as therapeutic. Severus and Rolanda had locked themselves away in their basement retreat and she highly doubted they would emerge. Her husband was still in bed and she knew he would not rise till at least lunch-time as was the way of their holidays.

A sharp knock on the front door snapped Minerva back from her thoughts. She was quite surprised and rather horrified to find four stunningly beautiful women standing on the front door step of the house she would call home for the next seven weeks. No sooner had she answered the door one of the women stood in front of her hand extended for a handshake.

“Bree Van De Kamp, it’s such a delight having someone new move onto the lane. Your just going to love it here I know.” Minerva observed Bree Van De Kamp quickly before answering. The woman reeked of elegance and confidence her shocking red hair flowed around her shoulders in an eerily perfect curl. A large smile was plastered on her face and Minerva highly doubted it was possible for most to tell when this smile was genuine and when it wasn’t.
“A pleasure to meet you Mrs Van De Kamp.” Minerva replied curtly before the woman in question was replaced with another of the four women.

“Gabrielle Solise.” Gabby introduced herself with a pretty smile. Gabrielle was much younger then the other housewives Minerva observed, her skin was bronze and her long hair fell in slight curls over her shoulder as if it had been placed their purposely to get attention. Minerva could tell Gabrielle’s clothes obviously followed all the latest fashions, the younger woman reeked of wealth.
“Nice to meet you Mrs Solise.” She chirped knowing she would be very bored of this by the time she reached the fourth woman.

“Hi, I’m Susan.” Susan placed her hands in her pockets raising her shoulders up to her cheeks and beaming. Minerva noted that this woman was a lot more shy then the others, her clothing was more artistic and experimental then the other woman’s she also had no ring on her marriage finger as the others did.
“Hello Susan.” She nodded her head curtly before the last and final woman stepped up.

“Nice to meet you I’m Lynette.” Lynette nodded her head smiling. She looked a lot more run down then the other women her hair was tied up loosely and bags sat under her eyes. She gave off the impression of being extremely stressed and over work but none the less she was just as eerily beautiful as the others.
“The same to you Lynette.” Minerva forced a small smile as she gazed at the four very different women surrounding her, Minerva had never been one to be intimidated or to be self conscious but she was a woman even if her students didn’t believe it and it felt rather daunting to be surrounded by women of such beauty.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all thank you for your warm welcome. I’m Minerva McGonagall.” She introduced herself hoping that, that would be enough to satisfy the other women so she could return to the house.

“Well.” Bree smiled holding herself proudly thinking to herself what an old name their new neighbour had though she knew what Lynette’s answer would be if she pointed it out to her ‘like you can talk’. “We just wanted to welcome you to Wisteria. I’m holding a dinner party tomorrow!” Bree purposely ignored the looks of shock from the other housewives as they turned to stare at her they hadn’t heard anything of this dinner party though they all knew this was an attempt for Bree to satisfy her curiosity of the new neighbours.
“We would all be delighted if you and your husband could come,” Bree thought back to the two other people she had seen entering the house they had been much younger then Minerva and the long haired man.
“Your children are invited as well of course!”

[childminerva]

her children...hehe. Nice update, I can't wait to read more!

[Tabby67]

Marvtaculous yall!! *hugh-faves both* YAY! A nifty little cross. *sad* Now all I have to do is find Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD an dwatch them so I'm not so lost.

Update soon!!

~Branda~

[mcgonagallrocks]

(Branda Kaitlyn and I will help any way we can if you get confused. And sorry about the shortness)

[glow=red,2,300]Chapter 3 by Endora[/glow]

"You seem flustered Love." a kiss landed on Minerva's neck. "What's wrong?" "Minerva turned around in the embrace now around her waist.
"Minerva Katherin McGonagall-Dumbledore I've been married to you for 20 years I know when something is wrong."
"It's nothing that concerns you Albus Percival Wilfric Brian Dumbledore."

His blue eyes twinkled she was so beautiful when she was angry. Albus was one of the few people that weren't frightened of her temper or death glares. "Tabby tell me." he said softly pushing a stray lock of beoney hair away from her face e. "Albus we're in Perfectvill." Minerva said gently. "Some of the neighbors just came over to say hello they're latterly perfect."
"And you arn't?"
"Don't even start that with me!"
"You are the most perfect woman alive Minerva."
"Albus stop." Still after all these years he could still make her blush. "I love you." Minerva planted a kiss on his crocked nose.
*******************************************************

"When did this dinner party come up?" Gabby looked at Bree as they walked back to Bree's house with Lynette, Edie, and Susan. "It's a chance to get to know then." Bree said shortly. "And you called me the spy." Edi rolled her eyes. "Why did you even mention kids Bree? They're liked our parent's age." Lynett chimed in. "So? George still lived with his mother. Who were those other two?" Bree said. "I think I've been the younger guy." Gabby laughed. "In a horror movie." "You are so mean sometimes." Edie giggled.
"He looks like a vampire." "Just a bit Gabby." Susan laughed.

[childminerva]

Nice little update, but I think you need to do some editing...you have a lot of typos.

[Isabelle]

I have to admit this is an interesting idea. I've never actually sat down to watch the show but have seen bits and pieces of it when walking through the living room to get the gist of it. I do look forward to seeing how this party will turn out.

However, as childminerva said there are quite a lot of typos and in the second part of the chapter, you should separate the dialogue of the different characters instead of grouping it all together. It's difficult to keep track of who saying what.

Have you two got a beta reader? If you don't, you can PM me if you like. I've never actually betaed before, but I do shred my own papers to death as well as friends who ask me to edit theirs. School will be starting soon for me, but I can make it work, that is if you're interested.

It would also be nice to see if you could expand the idea more--almost like it's happening to quickly. It seems as though there needs to more. Good luck!!

Liz

[mcgonagallrocks]

Note to all readers we're restarting Desperate Housewitches. The plot and such will stay the same but we're going to write it in Mary Alice's point of veiw(for none fans the woman that shot herself in the first episoide that is the naraitor for the episoides and whos death sets up the first season plot). Angeldust is writing the first chapter over and shoudl have it up by Saturday we think.

**Endora

[childminerva]

okay-cool.

[Tabby67]

*poochy lip* Le sigh... haha.. Nah, it's fine by me. I still have a LOT of catching up to do.

[mcgonagallrocks]

Or maybe by the end of the month. I'm still waiting for Angeldust to post so I can start the next one.

[gryffindorprincess]

I'm loving it, I can't wait to read more.