Skinny!

[EloquentPhoenix]

My turn.

This is a rant; I can feel all the emotion bubbling. A lot of it’s anger. So I might swear, it happens when I lose my temper.

Before I forget, there are 14 pounds in a stone.

I find it less media pressure but more society as a whole. For example I don’t care what pop stars look like because they do stupid stuff to their bodies (generalisation but still). But I’m a teenager, and as much as I would love to deny it I am impressionable. And it’s shit. Basically. My friends who are slim annoy me when they say they are fat and they just aren’t. But then I annoy me because everyone has body insecurities. Then I get annoyed at everything because we shouldn’t have to. It’s like this; I am overweight for my height. I’m not saying exactly because I’m embarrassed, should I be embarrassed, no I bloody shouldn’t because it’s just stupid! I want to be attractive, get a boyfriend. It’s my age, it happens. But should it really be that important? No, it shouldn’t matter what I look like, but it does.

I can always tell myself I just want to lose weight to be healthy, so I can run cross-country at school in the middle of the block of people, so I don’t come last. And I can almost believe it. Almost. But the pressure is always there from the way society is, expecting perfection, the pressure to be prettier, skinnier, better. Always better. And it shouldn’t be like that, it shouldn’t matter if I am overweight, I shouldn’t have t o be slimmer. But I do have to be, and it does control me at times. I shouldn’t think about diets, but I do. And I know it only gets worse because after weight it’s age. Just give it a few years, and I hate it.

So I do try, because part of me does want to be healthy because I hate not being. But for all the wrong reasons. I shouldn’t have to be insecure about how I look because of others. I remember prom, just wishing I were thinner, even if I did enjoy it and feel happy about the way I look. And I know it matters to me, and I hate it, but I still diet. Not crash diets mind.

Health should be promoted, not being better looking for other people. Because I know it won’t even make me happy. Grr. And I feel bad thinking about it all. It makes us compare with each other, and want to be as pretty and slim as other people when it’s fine to be different, really. But good to be healthy but they never mention that.

And I don’t even get parental pressure, really, my parents and sister are also overweight, we don’t have *that* much of a healthy lifestyle. So it must be even worse for other people. And my friends are supportive if I need them. But it’s hard when they are slim. And it shouldn’t matter if I’m slim or fat to be like everyone else. But it does. Because all girls must feel at some point if they were like everyone else they’d have a boyfriend/like having their picture taken/fell less insecure. I really hate it and it upsets me too.

You know what’s a bitch? Society…

[beMMADfabulous]

^^^ Wow, you remind me of myself.

[EloquentPhoenix]

Why?

[beMMADfabulous]

Mainly because I can really relate to this:

My friends who are slim annoy me when they say they are fat and they just aren’t. But then I annoy me because everyone has body insecurities. Then I get annoyed at everything because we shouldn’t have to. It’s like this; I am overweight for my height. I’m not saying exactly because I’m embarrassed, should I be embarrassed, no I bloody shouldn’t because it’s just stupid! I want to be attractive, get a boyfriend. It’s my age, it happens. But should it really be that important? No, it shouldn’t matter what I look like, but it does.


I hate it when people (especially when they're thin or whatever) run around saying, "Oh, I'm so fat!!" and then they try to pull at their invisible "rolls" of fat. I was looking at a catalogue the other day of Victoria's Secret clothing. Some of the clothing was beautiful but the models were wwwaaayyy too thin. Now, I'm not the type of person who's usually impressionable like that, but I really got to thinking about the difference between me (I too am overweight for my height) and those models. It really disturbed me. Not because they were "beautiful"- most were average. It was because they tend to be looked up to more because of how skinny they are. It really makes you go, "Gosh, I don't think I need to eat for about a month. Maybe I can catch up." It's foolish thinking and wrong choices that lead people into eating disorders. Trust me- the world is better with more healthy people with slightly more "meat on their bones" than people with eating disorders.

[princessmai101]

ok so after i posted my last reply i went to dinner and my granpa was talking about the way i ate today. i'd like to point out that i am sick. when i am sick i eat comfort food. it makes me feel better. i dont eat it excessivly, but i eat frequently. ok i'm going to go back to bed the room is spinning.

[EloquentPhoenix]

Oh dear. I hope you feel better soon.

And, beMMADfabulous, thank you. I will remember, and defiately healthy, not ill.

You know what would be cool? If no one could see anyone else...

[ravenhaired]

You know what would be cool? If no one could see anyone else...

Or if your body reflected how good of a person you were.

*has known some skinny bitches in her time*

[EloquentPhoenix]

But that's the problem. Why is skinny good and everything else not?! It's like some inbuilt rule that society has made for women and it's crap.

And being bitchy is fun

[ravenhaired]

eloquentphoenix said:

But that's the problem. Why is skinny good and everything else not?! It's like some inbuilt rule that society has made for women and it's crap.

And being bitchy is fun

*shrugs*

Men don't generally go for the skinniest person - men like someone they can get a grip of Its all about curves. Its just the pressure women feel from the media and fashion photographs - who, lets face it, are mostly taken by gay men, who find women who are as boyish as possible attractive.

[EloquentPhoenix]

Perhaps. I don't know, I just hope eventually I won't care either.

[princessmai101]

I hope we all wont care eventually. it will feel good to put on a shirt and look in the mirror and say "wow, i am soo hot" with out thinking, " i'm hot except that on little pooch". And i agree with " And being bitchy is fun"

[ravenhaired]

Being bitchy is fun...do you really think so? What's so 'fun' about it if it hurts other peoples feelings and makes them feel inferior? Bitchiness is, in my opinion, severely overrated.

[EloquentPhoenix]

All of my friends and I are bitchy to each other, but it is harmless and we don't mean it and we all know that.

Being bitchy in general I think is ok, you're allowed to not like other people and not get along afterall. So bitchiness tends to come out in people's dislike of each other. Especially girls. And I enjoy it because it feels so much better to just accept that you don't like someone and deal with it.

I find it better sometimes, to express how I feel about things people do to my friends than cause pointless trouble that does hurt people's feelings and ruin friendships. And then it's just enjoyable to just be opinionated about things. I don't know, maybe because it doesn't bother me or affect me at all I don't realise that it can be bad for people.

Back on topic on the radio at work today it was on about Geri Halliwell who had her baby 6 weeks ago (was it?) and has already lost all of her pregnancy weight and then some. How wrong is that? She used Victoria Beckham's mind over matter type diet where you ignore that you're hungry and only eat carbohyrates every other day. There's so much wrong with that it's unbelievable and so dangerous. I can only think what younger girls get into their heads hearing complete rubbish like that. *sighs*

[emeraldeyes]

I leave it for one day, and the plot.. No, I won't say thickens.

I'm the kind of person that likes to help other people, and the other day, I spent about an hour on Yahoo! msgr trying to convince my friend, who is a beautiful, original young woman, that she isn't "fat." She thinks that, because of what she looks like, she can't get a boyfriend, and so, now, this guy that's hurt her before but is paying attention to her again... She values that, even if she's hurt, because it makes her feel like someone likes her no matter what she looks like. And I think that that is more dangerous than just about anything. As a teenager, I will grudgingly admit, as EP did, that I'm impressionable. I want to look like so-and-so, or act like her, or a million other things.

But I also want to be myself.

And if "myself" has curves and a sweet tooth, that fights a battle between what I think that I want to look like, body-wise. And usually, "myself" wins. But there are all those little times that it seems like something's hinted at, illuded to, and I hate that. Snide comments, flat-out "facts." It's all crap to me. And no matter what people say to me, compliment wise, I just about refuse it every time. Why? I feel like I'm not good enough. If I could just get THAT much better at something, or have done THIS better on that paper.. Also, I've learned fist-hand, this past school year, about how friends can be backstabbers, and it was one of the hardest lessons for me, to realize that maybe I'd misplaced trust in them.

I wish, sometimes, that the world would get a reality check. Seriously. I know so many girls who think that they're ugly and that no guy could like them because of a few extra pounds. And then, they'll take just about anyone who comes along and compliments them. Don't get me wrong, please. I'm not saying that they'll fall for anyone.. Heck, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore..

But it would be nice if the world couldn't see anybody else, or if we all just recognized the best in ourselves and those around us.

princess--I have an uncle like that, too. His way of showing affection is to tease people, mercilessly, and even if his daughter, my cousin Olivia, says she hates it... She teases me, too. About anything, really. And I think that's a bit detremential. Family is supposed to be the group of people you can turn to when the world shuns you, and when you feel unworthy. They shouldn't be the ones that MAKE you feel that way.

(/rant)

[professortabby]

My mum does the same thing to me! I love her more than any one and she says she misses her "skinny princess" I'm not even fat! I suppose she was trying get me angry. - its not as if i'd go run into the loo and see how big i was -
Also outraged,
Min

[osusprinks]

eloquentphoenix said:

Geri Halliwell who had her baby 6 weeks ago (was it?) and has already lost all of her pregnancy weight and then some. How wrong is that? She used Victoria Beckham's mind over matter type diet where you ignore that you're hungry and only eat carbohyrates every other day. There's so much wrong with that it's unbelievable and so dangerous. I can only think what younger girls get into their heads hearing complete rubbish like that. *sighs*

I'm sure she's not breast feeding, but I really hope she isn't. You can't just ignore you are hungry if you are providing for your child too. Heck, you shouldn't ignore when you are hungry when you are just feeding yourself. Your body tells you these things for a reason!

I just found out a few months ago that I have high cholesterol, which isn't a big deal except I'm only 24. I'm also overweight. So I have been watching what I eat and my boyfriend, friends, and I have been taking hour long walks nearly every night for the past 4 months. I haven't lost much weight (which I don't understand) but I feel healthier, which I think is the more important issue. No matter what size you are, you need to be healthy and take care of yourself inside and out.

Anyway, I told you that story to tell you this one...

Adam and I helped my grandparents move from one apartment to another last weekend. I washed every wall in that apartment and even got down and scrubbed all the floors on my hands and knees. The air conditioning wasn't working yet and the highs were in the 90s, so I was wearing shorts and a tank top and still sweating like I was in a sauna. So I'm finally done and my grandmother, after watching me work for her all day, says to my boyfriend, Adam, "well if you keep her working like that, maybe she'll work enough pudge away for you to marry her." Adam just looked at her, dropped his jaw, too shocked to say anything, but I have never come closer to homicide in my entire life. I just left the room. It's bad enough to have magazines and television telling us we have to be a certain way in order to be happy and find love, but when our family and friends treat us that way too, how is a real woman supposed to make it in the real world?

Anyway, I was happy to read I'm not the only one frustrated by society and its ignorance. People are people and they shouldn't be judged by their weight, age, race, gender, religion, or any of that, but by how they act and how they treat others.

...my first AD/MM board rant...sorry about that.

[EloquentPhoenix]

Don't be sorry, rants are so good...

[professortabby]

lol ;D

[princessmai101]

OMG!!!! she really said that. wow.... what did you b/f say? thats a little mean. after you helped her move and eveything, she sould be nice to you.

[emeraldeyes]

Rants are VERY good.

I was up at our family cottage this weekend, and there's this new candy shop in town, and it has the nice little candy-hamburgers that I absolutely adore! Well.. I was feeling kind of bad about my weight (-guilty look-) and so I only got one I showed my Dad, in a very little kind like way.. and he said, "Only one?" And I was kidding, but with a straight face said, "Yes. I'm on a diet."

He pinched the little skin I have on my "generous" hips and said, "That might not be a bad idea." And walks off.

I was NOT pleased.

After that, we went to get fudge.. And I love the fudge up there to death.. But I didn't get any, because of above comment, and he kept trying to pressure me into getting some! I don't get it; they say one thing but try and foist food on me!

Another thing... Up there, I don't eat very regularly, because I hate the food up there and I just don't feel like food, but Mom confronted me and was all, "You know, not eating actually tricks your body into thinking it's starving and you gain weight." I was like, "Mom. I'm okay, I'm just not hungry." However, I finally decided.. Screw it. I was on fricking vacation and I was going to enjoy it!

..I did go jogging though. Twice. ^_^

[EloquentPhoenix]

Yay, I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation afterall

You knwo what we need, ear plugs...

[emeraldeyes]

Ear plugs would be very, very nice, m'dear.
....Ductape might work, too..

[osusprinks]

I am in favor of duck tape also! ;D

In answer to your question princessmai, my boyfriend didn't say much in response to my grandmother. We have been dating for almost 7 years and we were friends for over a year before that. After all this time I just told him it isn't worth it to argue with the crazy lady. Even when I was at my thinnest (about a size 12 my senior year of high school) she seemed to think it wasn't enough, so I just try to not listen and ignore her. It isn't worth arguing about because when I (or Adam) call her on it, she just asks like she only wants me to be healthy and happy...riiiight... This is why I say we just start passing out duck tape!