Put Down for being a shipper

[admmityourlove]

If I put this on the wrong board, I apologize.

Ok, I'm really upset right now. I am fairly new to the whole ADMM thing-actually I've only shipped them consciously for about two months. So I wanted some advice from you guys who have been ADMM shippers for much longer than I have; how do you deal with all the fervant opposition?

My parents think I'm insane for being so enthralled with something "fictional and abstract." My friends, who already had a problem with my HP obsession, called me "perverted for liking to see old people in love" and when I tried to tell them that lots of people (i.e. everyone on this board) ship ADMM, they said that we are "freaks without a life". Needless to say I haven't spoken to the "friends" in question since.
Then my roommate, who is even MORE HP-fanatic than I am accused me of "mocking JKR's vision" and "randomely pairing characters for my own amusement".
It's sometimes so hard to deal with that. It's like my religion is under attack or something. I feel like I have to hide this part of myself from the world-I don't tell anyone I'm on this board, show them my fanfiction, or simply say "I ship Albus and Minerva" anymore. I hate this. I know I will never give up my love for ADMM, but I don't think I can take too many more prejudiced comments directed at me. (And for the record, none of the above critics have ever even read an ADMM fanfic).

*sighes and wipes away tears of frustration and hurt*

So once again, I just wanted to know. Has anyone else here suffered for sailing our glorious ship, and if so, how have you coped? Today has been a bad day and I could use a little support. Thank you.

[aphelion]

Never been picked on for being a shipper but I tend not to mention it to non Harry Potter fans, or if I do it's with an embarrassed little smile.

I wouldn't worry about it though. They're the ones missing out! You really shouldn't care about what other people think. I'm guessing you're fairly young so you might not have figured out that the world would be a really boring place if everybody agreed. Being different is cool. Being small-minded is not.

Don't let them get you down. If it makes you happy that's all that matters, k?

Chin up,

aphelion

ps - for the record, we're not "mocking JKR", we're paying tribute!

[monsie]

aphelion said:

Don't let them get you down. If it makes you happy that's all that matters, k?

Absolutely!

My friends are used to my bizarreness, though I admit, there was a time (Years!) when I was too embarrassed to tell them about my fandoms. Then we had like a revelation night. It was fantastic! They told me their quirks and I told them mine but we were older and more mature. I don't know how they would've reacted if I'd told them when I was 15 or something. But I'm glad I did tell them because they have been super cool about it and they've even geeked it out with me at times cos I am by far the geekiest out of the three of us. And I had reached a point in my life when I wanted to have as few secrets with the people I cared for. Secrets make life just that little bit harder and if they're you're real friends they'll accept you as you are. All of you! It seems really cheesy but it really is the truth. Friends, real friends will be there for you.

As for parents, my mum used to be the same, but recently she happened to have a look at some of my music videos and she loved them. Since then the ridicule has lessened significantly. In fact, she's been more curious about how I make them and even encouraged me to seek out a course that will allow me to do that kind of stuff professionally.

I guess I've been lucky, but even when my mother didn't approve and my friends didn't know, that never stopped me from being a complete geek. And I feel comfortable for it because I have never been a big fan of reality. It's usually really disappointing but thanks to my geekness I always have somewhere to escape to when I need it.

That's long. Sorry. I'm working on a essay for class. Procrastination is so much more fun.

[pinnacle]

How immature of your acquaintances. Someone needs to pull their worthless heads out of the gutter. I bet if I told my sister that I 'ship this, she'd call me a pervert, too. But she's a prude as well.

I don't know how one can reason the "wrongness" of enjoying something fictional. Does celebrity gossip not have an element of fiction to it, if it's next to impossible to actually meet those people? Same goes for history and its important figures (though I doubt that many enjoy it, haha).

As for "mocking JKR's vision," that's just ludicrous. You don't read a book and mold your reaction to it to fit the one the author intended. That happens rarely. Everyone interprets things differently; ask your roommate to go take a course in psychology.

Wow. This really grated my cheese, excuse my less-than-amiable attitude. Just totally ignore those people. There used to be a time when the chances of Remus/Tonks occurring was slim to none, after all...

Myself? I tend not to advertise my 'ship leanings. I tend not to advertise my die-hard fanaticism at all, actually. I got tired of the weird looks after a while. And no one understands, so why bother? My parents aren't very familiar with the books (though my mom is currently reading book two... perhaps I could talk her into AD/MM...), I avoid talking to my sister if I can, and I just don't talk about HP much at school with friends. To be honest, I feel like it's a geeky version of celebrity gossip. ;D

[monsie]

pinnacle said:

I don't know how one can reason the "wrongness" of enjoying something fictional. Does celebrity gossip not have an element of fiction to it, if it's next to impossible to actually meet those people? Same goes for history and its important figures (though I doubt that many enjoy it, haha).

I was thinking that! The celebrity bit... Though, I did have a thing for Queen Victoria and Mr Brown after I saw Judi Dench's Mrs Brown. Yes, I am a sad, sad little munchkin. But it was a lovely movie and it was Judi Dench! I would watch just about anything of hers I could get my hands on. *shuts up*

As I said before, I like your point! Ignore the stuff in the middle.

[EloquentPhoenix]

Tell your friends to come back when they're in their sixties and see if they want to be lonely and miserable in a loveless life. See if their attitudes have changed then. Better still, ask them if they think their Grandparents still together and in love is perverted! I bet they open their eyes. It's not perverted it's sweet, and lovely and their characters and personalities just work.... What does it matter if they're old and not teenagers for goodness sakes? You're nto asking them to ship ADMM, you're saying that you do. They need to grow up and be accepting.

Well, it's not a secret that I write fanfiction, though I won't allow anyone to read it. It's also not a secret to my friends that I ship ADMM but it's still not much of a problem since it's something very priavte to me and I don't talk about it to them very often at all. I've never faced such a reaction from my friends as you have from yours, though, mine just have never bothered at all... It's difficult I suppose but they are completely out of order. They are the ones without lives, or they will be if they remain so narrow-minded.

As for your roomate, how dare she?! Random characters?! Say, has she even read the books? Point her to their very first scene together, to The Hot Chocolate scene, to 'He will no be single-handed!", to "Dumbledore would've been happier than anyone to think that there was a little more love in the world" And more! It's not like we're shipping Dobby and the giant squid for heavens sake! *Breathes* Sorry, I'm so furious!

Parents I can deal with, mine think I'm weird, that I have no life and that HP is childish for my age. But they're parents, and they'll never understand, really. I don't mind, because ADMM makes me happy. Failing that you could say what I say to my mum each time we row about this, I don't advise it but it may get your point across. I ask her if she'd rather I was hanging around street corners with a gang of friends getting drunk and arrested. She soon lets it drop.

Just, if you like ADMM and it makes you happy, don't let go. Just ignore your 'friends' and your parents. You'll be okay. You can't make those people more open-minded, you can't help it if you already are. They'll grow up eventually.

[Rachel]

This actually cracked me up,because if they think ADMM is a perverted,random pairing,what does that make their own grandparents who are presumably also old people?
Also,have they even read the books?Or seen the films?They are the blind ones here.

In my own experience,when Bad Girls was on in the UK,I shipped two of the characters obsessively,and still do,actually,and the characters in question are two women,both over 50, and before that I shipped a man and a woman who were both about 60 in Coronation Street,until one of them left,so nothing I ship surprises my mates anymore. lol

[EloquentPhoenix]

Who did you ship on Corrie?

[admmityourlove]

Thank you to everyone who replied. I feel much better now. Hey, at least I can vent to other shippers on here about this.

I'm sorry my post was a bit rambling and sounded a little teeny bopperish. Even though I'm 19, sometimes I still have moments when I sound like a kid. You guys are right, I'm unique and I will ship whomever I want. I hope your awesome replies help anyone else who has a really bad day and needs some reassurance. ADMM is amazing and I am thankful this whole community is so supportive of each other. It really makes this board a nice place to be.

*goes "awww" and wipes eyes with a tissue.*

Once again, thank you everyone who replied. I think I am going to go have a talk with my 'friends' and agree to disagree about my shippiness. Oh, and my roommate who called Albus and Minerva "random characters paired together"? I found out she's a secret Draco/Luna fan. And she's saying that WE are distorting JKR's vision? *shakes head in disbelief*

[Rachel]

eloquentphoenix said:

Who did you ship on Corrie?

Audrey and Archie.I was so peed off when she didn't accept his proposal!

[mcgonagallrocks]

Hon you're not alone. I have an idiot at school who constantly calls me FP(short for Federal Prison) and calls me a pervert because I ship ADMM. My stradgy is just ignore them. It's your bussiness if you wanna ship or not. As for your roommate well you can say to her guess what Maggie Smith herself thinks/thought Min was in love with Albus! There is chemistery between those two it doesn't take an idiot to see it.

[mmadlyinlove]

Okay so I have never been picked on either, but let me tell you this... Don't let anyone make you feel bad for being a shipper of any sorts. It does not matter who you ship... You can ship the MMADness like us.. You can ship SSHG, HGRW, HPCC, or even a slash coupling like HPSS.. It does not matter who you ship as long as you are happy with it. Take me for instance, I write MMAD... My two best friends are slash writers... One likes to write a lot of Harry with another guy, but is partial to Harry/Draco and Harry/Snape.... My other friend writes slash, but not so much Harry Potter.. Now we all write differnt couplings, and yet we appreciate each other for what we do. They, for instance, admitted that they could not write MMADness like me.. They just can't get in that mindset.. I can never write slash.. Well I could but I doubt it would be any good cuz that's not my thing really. So we figure that as long as we are writing with what we like, then who cares what anyone else might say. K?

I know it might sound horrible of me to say "Just ignore them" cuz I know how hard it would be. I've been teased for many things in my life, though admittedly my MMADness is not one of them. I say do what you gotta do. If MMADness is what makes you feel good, then do it. You are not alone. That is why we have this entire board filled with MMAD fans just like you and we all have our areas of specialty... Some are great at humor, others at angst, others at lemons, and others at fluff.... So my advice is to find what you like, in this case MMADness, and do it to the best of your abilities...

Did that help any?

~mmadlyinlove~

PS... Love your name btw.... The first time I saw it a few days ago, I thought "That's cool... Why didn't I think of that?" Hahaha

[Aribeth]

Don't worry I'm always put down for things like shipping. I told my friend I shipped HG/HP she just laughed until she started crying she told me I was crazy. I ignored her we never really were friends again though but it wasn't because of Hermione/Harry it was because her friend didn't like me but it's a long story! I'm an ADMM shipper no matter if people put me down or stuff and I think you are cool and even cooler to be a rebel! And don't worry my friends think I'm weird to because I ship ADMM but I still talk to them and we still have fun! If you are proud about bring an ADMM shipper don't let your friends' rude remarks get in the way of your pride! I'm still a proud HG/HP shipper even though I already know they are not together! and don't worry your friends will come along sooner or later! they can't hate you for life or just think about it like this if your friends dump you just because you are an ADMM shipper maybe they aren't really your friends try finding friends that like you no matter what you believe in because you only have 1 life so spend it well and stay proud!
~Aribeth

[admmityourlove]

Thanks again, everyone. Well, you have all made me swell with ADMM pride, and I love it. I didn't even care when my friends came up the argument that "Why should you be obsessed with a series that is now over and you know that your characters never got together?" I say, the MMADness will live on, even if the books are over. It is just so fun to read and write and ship Albus and Minerva, especially because its romantic and not just another random hook-up kind of thing like on college campus. I swear, the world is deprived of romantic young men nowadays. I can't remember the last time anyone I know has had their boyfriend bring them flowers, snuggle with them after a long day, or make them something really special for a birthday or Valentines' Day. That's the way I would want my relationship to be, which may explain why I haven't had a boyfriend in almost two years. *sighs* Sometimes it seems like I'm living out my visions of romance through ADMM...

[tabbyminerva]

Dont worry my mum thinks that MMAD is pointless too and at a time when I told my friends they also said that I did not have a life. All that you have to do is ignore them and still ship the cutest couple no matter what they say

[sabercute]

I find it really assuring the support that this topic has given me and I'm sure many others, and everyone who's replied seems to have given really good, calm advice.

BUT
I'm here to add my "teenager who is going throughout puberty, school stress and demented friends fights stress" advice. (I'm SO sorry to all those I may annoy with this)

I have been in a similar situation with my friends when I tell them that I ship ADMM and have even been told that I "Like old people s*x" and frankly I find that using the grandparent retaliation shuts most people up (thank you!)

I write fanfiction and am not afraid to scream it to the world but when I had the bright idea to look on the Fanfiction.net Harry Potter ship boards I was confronted with many peoples (crude and insulting) comments about the ADMM relationship. The best therapy for me:
Scream at the computer screen for about half an hour and debate most of the comments with ferocious audacity!!!

As for 'randomly pairing characters' they sit at the same table for about an hour three times a day everyday 70% of each year, they are Headmaster and Deputy headmaster, they have both taught the same subject, they are both extremely powerful, she CRIED when he died (Minnie doesn't seem like someone who cries for anything), they were both in the original order, they have an entire board of people supporting their relationship.

I also think that if they (non-believers) want to seem some real shipper action that they read some of the fanfiction and look at some of the fanart posted on the Internet, and the fanvids!! There are AMAZING pieces of work out there all for this!!!!!!

But seriously, think nothing of it, its their loss and that you will be surprised what a little computer screen screaming can do for your stress level.

well that was my rant for the day AND it helped me let off some steam, please don't take this advice in a negative way, I'm just ranting ok?

[silvertabby]

I go through that just now. Firstly my family, except mum and dad disaprove about me being a hp fan. My friends like hp, but not THAT much as me. Then everyone except my best friend disapproves of me writing fanfics. EVERYONE I know disapproves on ships. My, my family doesn't even know I ship ADMM. Well, mum does. She read hP 1 to me and I exasperated her about ADMM. But I'm sure if the rest of my family know... Me, writing fics about people this old bla ble. I told my best friend, but none other of my friends. She gave me that 'YOU LIKE OLD PEOPLE BEING IN LOVE AND EVEN WRITE BOUT THIS YOU PERVERTED MADWOMAN"look but yea I do. And if that makes me perverted I don't mind in a slight. ADMM is not random, its in the books and in the films. I knew it from the mo I read the first book. His right hand, most trusted adviser, so close to him, always there. It's how she does it it just tells there's so much there, a love of half a century. You just see sparks flying when they work together. And if my fav actrice thinks the same as me...I tend to belive she's wright. The looks... they say soo much, they're not doing anything, actually, but, you can see there's the whole world between them, and at the same time nothing.
I sail ADMM proudly and I would bellow it in anyone's face!

[mmadcrazyfan]

eloquentphoenix said:

It's not like we're shipping Dobby and the giant squid for heavens sake!

do you mean to say thatyou dont ship dobby and the giant squid? because they were MEANT TO BE, PEOPLE!

jkjkjk lololol

anyway, i dont really talk about it with my friends. ill talk about with other crazy harry potter fans. usually they will come around if you present them w. quotes from the book and ask them if they've ever shipped a non-cannon romance (the most likely have)

dont let the man get you down!

(did that just comeout of my mouth....?)

[alter.ego.alana]

aww this is really sad...all my friends at least tolerate my admm obsession. my mom even showed sympathy towards me after the dreaded "live chat," and after Dumbledore's unnecessary push from the closet.

but anywho.
it's like someone said up there, it's not like you're asking THEM to ship ADMM. it's just what YOU do, and they have no right to judge you for it.
...and now I really want to go read fanfiction. lol.

[tabbyphoenix]

Umm, I can't say much, cuz I haven't told everyone, I agree with Elo, it's sort of private with me...but if I tell my mom, she'll probably think I'm crazy....

[Gifted]

It annoys me how people are like that. There's nothing wrong with liking something and I don't know why people are so against something.

I really love Disney and in middle school, I would try to hide this obsession. I just got sick of hiding who I was and pretending to be someone else. So I started telling the truth. I would get weird looks and comments, but I would ignore them. I discovered that if someone doesn't like who you are, it's not worth being their friend if they're constantly going to try to change you or make you feel uncomfortable. Same thing with MMAD and Wrock.

Though I have been lucky with my friends. My other Harry Potter friend (who's more obsessed than me) is really canon-obsessive and narrow-minded. Like so much it's scary at sometimes, but I respect what she likes. At first she thought MMAD was a weird couple. After a few conversions and I think she tried out some MMAD fanfics, she says she thinks it's a possible couple too. My cousin who is probably my best friend used to tease me, but now she's a MMAD shipper too. I was so surprised. And my mom just lets me like what I like without comment.

[MinnieQuill]

I don't tell people I ship ADMM, but that's because I ship other pairings. More often than not I get strange looks for believing Minerva is younger.

Honestly, just keep your chin up and ignore them. If that fails, still keep your chin up and tell them to bugger off.

[Sparrabether]

I tell people I ship ADMM but don't mention any of my other weirder pairings. My friends all think I'm obsessed and have started doing this REALLY annoying nodding thing when ever I start going on about one of my fandoms... But they still put up with me

[Katheryn Mae]

I've never really been picked on ... but I think there's some annoyance. My parents seem pretty easy going about my whole AD/MM love - I've got tons of pics of them in my room. But one of friends literally said - "Why the hell do you ship them? There's gotta be an 80 year difference. What kind of person wants to marry a guy 80 years older than her?" I was so pissed at her, I mean seriously - she's a senior also and she doesn't even read the books (and she hasn't in the past). So really, how the heck is she to tell me not to ship AD/MM?
Besides, I usually chose something sad that made Minerva see that she needs him (not always) but still ... best friends do tend to fall in love.

[GreyTabbyCat]

I don't really tell people I ship ADMM because nearly all of my friends didn't even read the books and those who did just read them and put them away. My family knows that my favorite character is Minerva as I have sewed a whole robe ( it's not so good, but still) for a convention as my costume.

One of my best friends is even more obsessed with HP than I am. She is a huge Snape fan and usually ships Snarry. So, maybe you can imagine how shocked I was when she told me that she believes AD and MM to be a couple because "they are so cute together".

I can live with not telling my friends because they wouldn't understand anyway!

[amandahleigh]

its not worth fighting with your friends about. if they're really your friends, they may tease you a bit then let it go. if they're being malicious about it then you may wish to seek other friends, because they should love you no matter what crazy ship you sail.

:-)

[Katheryn Mae]

Oct 12, 2008 11:03:50 GMT -5 amandahleigh said:

they should love you no matter what crazy ship you sail.

:-)

That is the best thing I have heard in a long time.