For Your Love

[Hogwarts Duo]

Summary: Albus loves Minerva with all his heart but he just can’t take it any longer. She’s always finding fault with him and no matter how hard he tries, it’s never good enough. With his heart broken, he decides to try and move on but does Minerva feel the same way?

Disclaimer: You know better than to think they’re ours!

Rating: M (which we’re assuming would be “R” by old standards) for a little tartness at the end.

A/N: This is a chapter fic so the "R" rated stuff won't be posted until later.

Chapter 1

My Dearest Minerva,

This is, without a doubt, the hardest letter I’ve ever written. Every drop of ink on this parchment represents a piece of my heart as it crumbles to the floor. But always remember this, I will love you with all of my heart until the very last breath I draw on this earth and most likely beyond. But I cannot continue having my feelings hurt and my love for you diminished any longer.

Ever since I saw you, my world became a better place. You filled my life with your smile, brightening even the rainiest of days with a simple grin and your laughter was music to my ears. The gods must have stolen the voices from the songbirds to give you that laugh and I consider myself honored to have heard it so many times. I have never known a more radiant woman and to be near you was always the highlight of my day. I believe I fell in love with you the moment you walked back into Hogwarts as a professor instead of a student and the happiest day of my life was when I first held you in my arms as your lover and not a friend.

But for all of the love I hold for you in my heart, it never seems like enough for you. While I give you everything I have to offer, meager as it might seem, it is all that I am or ever hope to be. I have loved you from a distance, but that was too hard for me and then when I approached you about courting, my mind sprang to life with hundreds of ideas to share with you when you eagerly agreed. Each evening or event was planned with such care and such love that I enthusiastically invited you on more outings just so I could show you my love again and again.

The sad part of my planning was that I always seemed to get it all wrong for you. I chose the wrong day of the week or the most inconvenient time of day. I planned to take you places you had no desire to see. The picnics were always on the hottest days of the year or the bugs were just too overwhelming. Adventures to wizarding villages were also disasters for you felt we could not be ourselves for fear of being recognized. Muggle towns were no better for no matter how hard I tried, I always embarrassed you with my attire and that was never my intent.

Even the quiet nights at Hogwarts proved to be sore spots in our relationship. While you were aware of my duties when we first began to date, frequently you reminded me of how you felt neglected. Despite all of my efforts to set aside time to share with you alone, the fates conspired against us and if it wasn’t an emergency on my end of things, an issue arose with you. At first, I thought we were merely experiencing scheduling problems and that it would all sort itself out eventually. Yet the harder I tried, it seems the worse I made things for both of us.

The blissful moments we did share are among my most cherished memories and will always be in the forefront of my mind. I’ve never felt more alive and happy as I did during those moments but despite all of my efforts, I could not make the feeling last for both of us. I am not sure if you ever saw me in the same light that I still see you. For all of my heartache, I still love only you and would give up my world for a chance of being with you, if I felt you wanted the same thing with me. And yet I remain here, putting ink to parchment, telling you all the things I could never verbalize for it would be too painful and I’m not even sure my voice would cooperate.

I suppose the last straw was tonight. What was supposed to be a romantic night for the two of us ended up, once again, with my feelings hurt and you seemingly unhappy with me, as has become normal for us. How was I to know that you didn’t like basil on your chicken? I thought a nice meal cooked with my very own hands was romantic and something we had never done before. How was I to know that you were not a fan of Frank Sinatra music? Most women, muggle and witch alike, love to hear his voice singing a soft tune. How was I to know that the scents of honeysuckle and vanilla did not blend well to your keen sense of smell? I thought the candles were a nice touch and the scents were relaxing, creating a mood if you will. And how was I to know that you had an early morning planned with the girls, requiring you to be in bed much earlier than normal? I thought watching the sunrise with me on my balcony, as I held you in my arms, was the perfect way to end one day and begin another.

Hearing your comments on each of my failures has finally taken its’ toll and even though I will never find another to love as I do you, I feel that my love for you is not enough. While I do not regret a single moment we shared or any wonderful adventures we had together, I know that for all of my hard work and preparation, I have failed you miserably and that is something I cannot accept. I suppose my love and devotion just wasn’t enough for you and for that I am sorry.

I am taking a few days away from Hogwarts to spend some quiet time alone. By the time I return, hopefully I will have a much better handle on things and will be able to put the heartache of the past behind me and focus on developing our friendship even further. It seemed that you were happiest when we were merely friends and I do not wish to lose you entirely. I hope you will feel the same way about me. I couldn’t bear the loss of you from my life and if we are to remain just friends, then that to me is better than nothing at all.

I sincerely apologize for wasting your time over these past few months. I really thought I could make you happy by just loving you and treating you as the magnificent woman I see when I look at you. I hoped my love and adoration would be enough but obviously I was mistaken. I am not blaming you for needing more. I am just grieved that I am not the man you need. Gods, how I envy that lucky man, whomever he turns out to be! But I’d rather see you happy with another than to be miserable with me.

Please do feel the need to explain your actions or to try and tell me that I misunderstood what happened. I know you too well, Minerva, and you’ll try to make things better in an effort to soothe my soul. That is not what I want. I am doing this because I love you too much to see you unhappy. If in doing that, I make myself discontented then so be it. It is a small price to pay for your brilliant smile and true happiness.

I will always love you!
Albus

To Be Continued...

[Herzele]

That's so heartbreaking !! Absolutely wonderful, but heartbreaking ...
Please update soon !

[Krystal]

Oh, this is truly sad. I was going to suggest it be in the angst section but since I am hoping its all a misunderstanding, I am glad its in this section. Poor Albus! Poor Minerva!

Krys

[Karmin]

This is a new approach! Albus dumping Minerva? I will have to see the next chapter in order to believe the letter is real though. Karmin

[angeldust]

ohhhh That was heartbreaking wondefully written yet so sad... please update soon my tissue box depends on it!

[ginger newts]

Oh, poor Albus...I want to go give him a big hug. I do hope this is all some horrible nightmare or misunderstanding. Update soon!

[Alesia]

Alright Ladies, you have done it again. Great start to a story!

Sounds like this Minerva needs to GET A GRIP though, unless of course Albus is being obtuse, which since he is a man we all know is possible.

Can't wait to see how she reacts to this. Am I guessing correctly when I assume this is set in the late 50's or are we in Harry's 6th year?

Alesia

[QuillofMinerva]

Oh Minerva, you are pushing him away! Silly Tabby Cat.
I am hoping that there is misunderstanding along the way and that it can be resolved.

I already like the take you have on this story so I look forward to more.

Clayre x

[Stoneygem]

Oooooy....now you got me curious. How can Minerva being put off by such accidents?
How can she give Albus the feeling that she doesn't love him? Or why can he ever have this feeling? That's incredible. That's unbelievable. That's impossibles... No it's unfathomable...

Now, I can't wait to see, what is going on....update soon, please...

[griseldalafey]

*gasp*
I am so hoping this is a misunderstanding... Poor, poor Albus...

Love,
Griselda
~hooked~

[Kandice]

Something completely different. I like this. I like this non perfect portrayal of Minerva. (Just don't make it last! ;D)

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

Aaaawww, cant wait for next chapter. Great fic

[Jaya]

Great start!

When do we get more?

Jaya ;D

[tayryn]

oh man... very rare does a story have me tearing up or in tears... but this one did... and even worse... the dreaded TBC at the end of it!!

this was marvelous, ladies.

it pulled at the heartstrings... and made me want to go hug Albus and comfort him.

looking forward to more!

[angharad]

Perhaps I'm in a contrary mood today, but maybe the problem is that Albus never bothered to ask her what she wanted. So far, the story reads as though their relationship was all about him trying to impress her, rather than attempting to find out what she needs. There's a line in the movie "The Four Seasons" spoken by Carol Burnett's character to Alan Alda's that goes something like, "You only bring me flowers when you feel like it, not when I need them." Even after twenty years or so, that line still resonates with me.

In any event, this is a different sort of beginning for an AD/MM story, and I'm interested to see where y'all take it.

[Hogwarts Duo]

Chapter 2

Minerva read the words on the bit of parchment as the tears welled up in her eyes. With each line, her heart cracked until there was nothing left but a fine powder where her love was once stored. It wasn’t until the first of her teardrops splashed upon the flowery purple lettering that she fully comprehended the magnitude of the words.

Her first instinct was to run. Run to his office. Run to his arms. Run away from his truthful yet hurtful words. Run back in time to a place where her heart and head didn’t ache so much. Instead, she found herself running to his private chambers. Surely, it was too early in the morning for him to be up and about. She was certain she’d find him still tucked safely in his bed or sitting up reading the morning edition of the Daily Prophet as he drank a glass of pumpkin juice. But regardless of what he was doing, she knew she had to see him, to talk to him, and the fastest way to reach him was to run.

When she reached the stone phoenix that guarded his chamber door, she took a moment to wipe away the streams of tears which had stained her face. He would be able to tell that she had been crying but there was no reason why he should actually see the evidence as it spilled down her face. No, the pain in her eyes and her ragged breaths should be enough to make him understand.

At first her knock was gentle, as if there was a sleeping baby inside who should not be disturbed. Alas, no reply came. A second knock, this one more forceful yielded no results either and by the third knock, Minerva was pounding on his door, begging for entrance into the rooms she had visited so often. Before she could raise her fist for a fourth knock, the door magically opened, as if inviting her inside the familiar rooms.

She called out to him as she quickly darted from room to room, chair to chair, looking for him. But he was not there. Just as his letter had said, he was gone. The personal items from his bathroom were missing. His favorite quills and the book he had been reading were not there either. Fawkes was even gone from his perch, meaning he truly had though of everything. Sinking to the floor near his bed, a fresh wave of tears spilled from her emerald eyes and a heartbreaking sob ripped through the early morning silence. Little did she understand that it was at that very same spot only a few hours earlier that a similar scene had unfolded with a distraught man and a letter he was about to send.

Gathering her wits about her, Minerva knew that someone, somewhere had to know where Albus had gone. He was too important to just pack up and leave without making certain arrangements in his absence. There must be a way to contact him should something unfortunate and unforeseen arise at the school or at the Ministry. And the only person she could think of immediately was his brother Aberforth.

Throwing a handful of floo powder into the fireplace, Minerva poked her head through the grate at the Hogs Head Bar. At first she felt relieved when she saw the back of a man resembling Albus, only to be disappointed to see Aberforth Dumbledore smile weakly at her.

“Where is he, Aberforth? I have to know,” she demanded. “I have to talk to him, to explain.”

“He isn’t here Minerva and I have no way of contacting him. He owled me early this morning, before the sun was up even, to say that he was going away and that you might contact me. But that’s all I know.” He paused, as if trying to decide whether or not to share this last tidbit of information with her and in the end, he decided it might make sense to her. “I will say this…I’ve never seen his handwriting so shaky and if I was a betting man, I’d say there were teardrops on the parchment he sent me. I don’t need to know what’s going on between you two, if in fact it does have something to do with your relationship, but whatever has happened it’s torn him into pieces.”

“If he contacts you, please give him a message from me.” Aberforth nodded to indicate he was willing to pass along messages for her. “Tell him I’m sorry and that I need to speak to him urgently. It’s about the letter he sent to me.”

“I will but don’t get your hopes up. When Albus puts his mind to something, it’s hard to dissuade him from his plan of action.”

Albus might not have informed his brother of many details but there were those at the school who would need to know of his absence. There weren’t many people left at Hogwarts over summer breaks so his choice of staff members in which to confide was rather limited. Flying from his rooms, Minerva sprinted throughout the halls searching for anyone who might have seen or heard from Albus since late last night.

Most everyone in the castle was still sound asleep or had gone away for the weekend and had not yet returned. She had contacted everyone who might have some idea of Albus’ whereabouts but to no avail. With a heavy heart that wasn’t ready to accept what his letter said, she returned to her rooms, completely forgetting that she had promised to accompany Poppy and Xiomara on their outing.

Sinking into her chair, Minerva read the letter once more. With each reading, a new pain cut through her like a freshly sharpened blade. Steady streams of thoughts flooded her mind, remembrances of the night before as each part of their evening was described as Albus saw it. When a brisk knock sounded on her door, Minerva silently prayed it might be Albus, coming to explain the letter or to let her offer her views on the night before.

“Oh, it’s you Poppy,” Minerva said walking back to her chair and resuming her position as she stared out across the Hogwarts lawn.

“Well, I’d hate for you to get so excited to see me, Minerva!” Poppy bit back before fully grasping Minerva’s mood. One more look, longer this time, and the medi-witch instantly saw something rare on Minerva’s face, tear stains and signs of distress. “Minerva, what’s the matter? You’ve been crying.”

Without saying a word or turning to look Poppy face to face, she handed her the letter, which had shattered her world. As Poppy read line after line of the way Albus truly felt, she found herself not feeling sorry for her best friend, but for the man whose heart has so obviously been torn apart. “Minerva, please tell me that what he says in this letter is not true. Tell me that you did not say these things after he went to so much trouble for you.”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that but you only have one side of it, Poppy. Why will nobody let me explain?” she shouted in anger.

“Minerva McGonagall, do not raise your voice to me! I love you like the sister I never had but even I cannot condone your actions towards Albus. For Merlin’s sake, Min, he spent the entire morning in the kitchens learning how to cook that meal for you! He adamantly refused to let the house elves help in any way, other than to give directions or advice. He rearranged his meeting at the Ministry with Alastor and several aurors in order to have this quiet time alone with you and then you have the audacity to treat him like this?” she said angrily waving the parchment in her hand.

“It’s not as black and white as it seems. Everything he said in that letter is true but it was taken out of context, in a way. But he didn’t even give me the chance to discuss it with him before he disappeared on me.”

“I hate to break this to you but if I were in his shoes, I’d have left you too, Minerva. And if this is any indication of the way you love someone, I’m surprised he hasn’t left you before now.” Poppy turned and walked to the door after handing the letter back to Minerva. “Maybe you need to stay here today and reflect on your time spent with him. If you’re lucky, you’ll find a pattern and begin to see things through his eyes for a change.”

Minerva stared at her friend, a mixture of rage and hurt flashing in her emerald eyes. “And what if I do? What then? He’s made it clear that he’s done with me, Poppy!”

“Nothing is ever really set in stone, Min. He loves you. That much is clear. He was hurt and confused when he wrote that letter. What you have to decide is whether or not you can live without him and then if you can’t, you have to make him believe it too.”

“I already miss him but I’m not sure I can repair the damage I’ve already done.”

Poppy walked back over to Minerva and hugged her tightly. “I have faith in you and in him. It’s just something that you’re going to have to show him. Keep working at it until he truly understands what happened and how things are going to be different.”

Minerva asked Poppy to pass along her excuses to Xiomara without divulging too many details about the real reason she wasn’t tagging along today. Then, she went into her bedroom and pulled out her pensieve and watched as the silvery strands of thoughts swirled around in the large basin. Using her wand, she added some of her memories of times spent with Albus, mainly the ones that had ended abruptly or with one of them feeling hurt at the end of the evening. If she was going to repair her relationship with him, she first had to understand where it had all gone wrong.

[Lady Lavendar]

Wow! That was sad. It seemed like all he wanted to do was impress her, but he just kept screwing up. He probably should have talked to her instead of just guessing what she likes! Hope to see an update soon!
LL

[ginger newts]

Oh, sadness! Update soon, dear, and get them talking...I can't stand to see them hurting like this.

[QuillofMinerva]

Like how Poppy didn't mince her words lol!

Seems to me that it is not just simply black and white what has gone on between Albus and Minerva. Albus shouldn't have ran out on her and his duties and Minerva should try and accpet him for who he is and not try to change him ect.

Update Miss Ang please. I do want to see them talking to another, they need to sort this out for my sake because I can't cope lol

Love
Clayre x

[LadyJolly]

I can see why Poppy can feel sorry for Albus. I hope Minerva does make things better. I really feel sorry for Albus he's really broken but then again so is Minerva but not as much as Albus or is she? heheh Good chapter love to read more. Til then

Lady Jolly

[griseldalafey]

Oh how sad...
It's a very original story. I can't wait to hear Minerva's side of the story.

[Stoneygem]

angharad said:

There's a line in the movie "The Four Seasons" spoken by Carol Burnett's character to Alan Alda's that goes something like, "You only bring me flowers when you feel like it, not when I need them."

I know, I'm going completely off-topic here...but there is a movie with Carol Burnett and Alan Alda? How utterly brilliant is that...wher can I get that one...wheeeee...Oh my Alan....*slurp*

[Jaya]

The second chapter was just as interesting as the first. It will be interesting to get Minerva's POV and to see how they can repair their relationship or if it can be fixed

Jaya ;D

[Kandice]

It seems Minerva has a heads up at least and hopefully she'll figure out all she's done wrong. Kandie

[Kacie]

It's sad but I'm really enjoying this story. I like the original idea. Kacie

[tanja]

that´s really interisting.Hope so much they come together again.

[Adrasteia]

Sad, but interesting.
I can't wait to see Minerva's side of the story.
Wonderful chapter and I hope you'll update soon.

[Hogwarts Duo]

Chapter 3

The swirling mists of silver passed from Minerva’s mind, into her wand, and then settled inside the basin. Unsure of what she would discover, Minerva felt a knot form in her stomach as she watched memory after memory begin to rise to the surface and then sink to the depths of the pensieve. It took every ounce of courage she possessed to plunge her head inside and into the first memory.

It was a bright spring day. She could tell by the way things looked outside the window from her office. She saw herself sitting at her desk, green quill in hand, eagerly reading over the transfiguration essays she had obviously assigned to her sixth year class. Taking a seat at the back of the classroom, Minerva sat back and watched passively as the scene unfolded before her eyes.

A familiar knock sounded on the door and without even looking up, the Minerva grading the papers called for the visitor to enter. It was Albus and he was looking particularly happy this afternoon as he entered her office. He stood still for a moment, staring at the woman before him grading papers, patiently waiting for her to reach a stopping place and properly acknowledge his presence.

Minerva sat on the edge of her seat as she remembered how engrossed she had been in reading this particular essay. Sometimes she had to wonder where these children came up with such wild ideas and then had the bright ideas to put them on paper. She was desperately trying to get them graded so that she could spend some time with Albus later in the evening.

“Albus, what are you doing here this afternoon,” the other Minerva asked, never looking up from her essay to see the pained look in his eyes. “I thought we had agreed to meet at dinner this evening so that I could get some work done for a change.” Her words had sounded harsh but she alone knew the real meanings behind them had not been that at all.

“I thought I’d surprise you,” he said smiling down at her. He still waited for her to look up from her essays but was disappointed when she did not. He walked around the desk and perched on the edge, reaching out to touch her cheek softly with the back of his hand.

“Please, Albus. I’m trying to finish these papers so I can give them back to the students on Monday. I’ll see you at dinner and then we can discuss what you came here to talk about then.” He sat motionless, still waiting for her to look up at least and grant him the pleasure of seeing her rare smile. When she did not, he left the office with slumped shoulders and an obviously saddened expression on his face, a single daisy still clutched in his hand.

From the back of the room, Minerva watched the entire scene. She hadn’t realized how happy he had been to see her nor the dainty flower he held in his hand. When he had arrived, his eyes were twinkling so happily but as she watched him leave, no twinkle could be found, only sadness. Watching the moment play out before her eyes, Minerva couldn’t help but feel ashamed at how dismissive she had been towards him. It would only have taken a few moments from her so called busy day to bring a little enjoyment to him and yet she had been so consumed and worried about something as trivial as grading papers. Surely the students were in no hurry to have their papers returned. She understood now that it was her overwhelming drive for work that had allowed her to hurt him so badly.

Before she had a chance to sweep away the feelings of remorse for treating Albus so carelessly, Minerva found herself walking down the street in Hogsmeade, with Albus and an image of herself on the other side of him. She remembered this day all too well. It had started out wonderfully. Fawkes had arrived in her bedroom early that morning with a note requesting her attendance for an afternoon away from the school. She had dressed quickly and darted down the corridors as rapidly as she dared until she bumped into Albus, on his way to see her.

As they crossed the grounds and took the well-worn path into the village, he offered her his arm, which she graciously accepted and Minerva even remembered stopping once or twice for a stolen kiss. The thrill of being discovered by a student excited them both and only added to the pleasure of lips upon lips as the sun shone warmly upon them.

But that had been before the argument. Before she had left him standing in the middle of the street. Minerva tagged along in the memory and watched as she dragged Albus from store to store. He never complained or even gave the slightest hint that he was growing increasingly bored with the bookshops or quidditch stores. Instead, he followed Minerva willingly and even tried to take an earnest interest in what pleased her most.

After spending over half an hour in the bookstore browsing on his own, Albus found Minerva in a small corner of the store, near the back and away from prying eyes. He managed to sneak up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and drawing her against him. He placed a tender kiss to the side of her neck as she giggled. “Why don’t we leave here and stroll down to the sweets shop before heading back to Hogwarts?”

She raised her hand to cup the back of his head as he continued to nibble on her earlobe. “But I’m not ready to leave just yet. I’ve only just found this section of new arrivals and I want to look through them before he puts them on display in the front of the store.”

“But I can promise you won’t be disappointed. Come on, sweetheart. I’ve gone everywhere you wanted today and all I ask is this one stop. Then I’ll take you home where I can perhaps continue to shower you with my attentions.”

“You go along and I’ll catch up with you later. I really want to scan these titles and see if there’s anything I might like to purchase. I’ll meet you back at the school later. Besides, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be any fun in the candy store so you run along and try not to buy out the shop.”

“Minerva, please. I’ve followed you around all day and done so with a smile on my face. I’m not trying to rush you but I’d really like for you to go with me to Honeydukes. Besides, we can come back later to the bookshop or better still, why don’t we have him send over a list of titles? Then, if something looks interesting, we can make another trip into town and ask to see those books.”

“I’m sorry I’ve dragged you around by the nose today Albus. Feel free to leave me here. I’m sure I know my way back to Hogwarts! Besides, I would hate to bore you to tears while I spend a little of my free time doing the things I like so much.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. You’re taking my words out of context and using them against me,” he tried to reply.

“I understood you perfectly. You’ve been going from shop to shop all day because it’s what I wanted and you’re angry because I have absolutely no desire to spend my time in a candy store, where I have no intentions of spending my money. Maybe it would be best if we just spent the rest of the afternoon apart, Albus. I’m sure you’d much rather go to the stores that interest you rather than being forced to tag along with me.”

As Minerva listened to her own voice as she ranted against Albus, she desperately tried to stop herself from hearing the conversation. Albus had been so good about going with her to all those places she chose and then when it came time to return the favor, she was less then enthusiastic about doing something just for him. For the first time since her childhood, Minerva saw herself as a spoiled brat, only adults used another term for it and one that was not flattering or childish at all.

Feeling worse than before, Minerva watched as the memory of herself turned into the silvery mist and disappeared, leaving her in a blackness the seemed all consuming and frightening. Her train of thought continued from the bookstore to the same evening after she returned from Hogsmeade. She waited for Albus to escort her to dinner that evening but he had yet to arrive. It wasn’t until the tapping at her window startled her that she realized the reasoning behind his request.

[Hogwarts Duo]

The small brown owl looked heavily burdened with its’ large package. Minerva was surprised to see such a tiny bird carrying such a large parcel. Reliving the bird of its’ duty, she noted the tag was from Honeydukes. Thinking that Albus must have bought something and then forgotten it, she sighed as she unwrapped it unceremoniously. But she was shocked to see a box of rare truffles and a note.

Dear Professor McGonagall,
We were under the impression here at Honeydukes, you would be stopping by this afternoon for your package. However, since it is now past our closing time and these are such delicate treats, we felt the need to send them to you as soon as possible. We hope you will enjoy them. The rarity of the items and the expense involved in getting them made us realize just how important the items must be to you and the Headmaster.
Honeydukes Management

P.S. Please tell Professor Dumbledore that we have invoiced his personal account for the items and he should receive a receipt within a day or two. Also, if he should need to place additional special orders, we would be most happy to help our most valued customer.

Minerva remembered unwrapping the brown paper from the box. Inside were the most amazing truffles, dipped in rich Belgian chocolate. The mere aroma wafting through the air made her mouth water and as she popped one into her mouth, her taste buds exploded with excitement. A small card fell from the box and in reading it, she suddenly felt unworthy.

For My Sweet~ Even the richest of candies cannot compare to the taste of your lips~
All My Love~ Albus

Obviously he had wanted to take her with him when he went to retrieve the gift but because of her stubbornness and self-centeredness, which now she could see in the clear light of day, she had once again ruined something which had cost him dearly. It had cost him time, money, and a great deal of influence to purchase such a delicacy for the woman he so apparently loved.

After reading the card, she had tried in vain to contact him but he had been called away to a meeting and the next morning he merely brushed aside her attempts at an apology. He called it water under the bridge but the hurt in his eyes still burned her to this very day.

As much as she wanted to climb out of the pensieve, Minerva knew that was one more set of events she wanted to watch. And these would prove to be the most painful, if the previous two were any indications of her past behavior. It was only last night and was still clear in her mind but seeing it as an outsider merely witnessing things as they happened has already proved to be a valuable tool in understanding a small fraction of Albus’ pain.

The blackness around her began to fade as Albus’ private sitting room came into view. She saw herself walk through the doorway as Albus turned around to greet her with a smile that could melt any woman’s heart. He was standing in the center of the room surrounded by hundreds of floating candles. Music was playing in the background and a table for two had been near the balcony. A warm breeze was blowing in through the opened doors, creating a gentle stir among the deep purple curtains.

She studied her face as she entered. Her eyes roamed over the room, taking in the sights and sounds as she made her way slowly to Albus’ opened arms. Minerva watched as she closed her eyes and sank into his deep embrace and could almost feel the warmth of his breath on her ear as he whispered, “You look stunning” into her ear.

Gallantly, he held her chair for her and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before taking his seat across from her. He told her about making the dinner all by himself, using his own hands and then with a clap of his hands the food appeared on their plates.

Immediately Minerva cringed as she saw her expression change as the first bite of chicken passed her lips. Taking her fork, she instantly began scraping off the seasoning as she struggled to swallow the one bite in her mouth. “Albus, what on earth did you do to this chicken?”

And his face fell. His disappointment was evident as he returned his uneaten bite to the plate and curiously studied her plate as well as his own. “It’s basil. I found the recipe in a book and it sounded delicious. Perhaps I put too much of it on the chicken. I haven’t touched mine. Would you care to switch pieces with me?”

“No, that’s alright. One pinch of basil on anything is too much for me. I’ll just eat the vegetables and leave the basil crusted chicken to you for later.” In looking back, Minerva felt she could have handled that more delicately. After all, he hadn’t known of her aversion to the spice. The house elves rarely used it in their cooking and Minerva had learned long ago to recognize the dishes that contained it, thus avoiding any unpleasant surprises in her mouth.

Watching Albus as a third party in the room, though, she could tell how unsettled he had become. To anyone else, it might appear that he was just not hungry as he began picking at his food but to the woman who knew him best, or at least had assumed she had, he was visibly upset.

Dessert had not been much better. While the conversation over the rest of the meal had flowed smoothly with quiet moments and tender words, the feeling was not to last long. As Albus removed the silver lid which hid the dessert from her view, Minerva informed him that she could not eat another bite, no matter how tempting it was.

Cherries Jubilee was not an easy dish to make, especially for a novice in the kitchen. The combination of the cognac and the rest of the dessert was a delicate balance that must be precise or else the entire dish would literally go up in smoke. Yet as difficult as it had been, Albus had dreamed of watching Minerva’s face light up as a simple wave of his wand set the entire dish on fire as the rich, creamy ice cream began to slowly melt.

“Please, just take a peek and then tell me that you can avoid the temptation. I’m not asking you to eat the entire dish alone. I have every intention of helping you my dear.”

“Really I can’t eat another bite Albus. The vegetables were excellent and I’m afraid I have already overeaten tonight. But I’m sure it can be saved for later. After all, you’re known for your sweet tooth.”

Albus lifted the lid and without saying another word, ignited his creation and waited for Minerva’s response.

A gasp escaped her lips as the blue flame rose high into the air. She had not expected him to set anything on fire and her catlike reflexes caused her to jump back from the table, nearly falling backwards as she reached desperately for her wand. “You should warn someone before you start a fire, Albus!” she yelled more out of fear and confusion than actual anger.

“I’m sorry my dear. I wanted you to get the full effect of my hard work.”

“I think it’s safe to say that I certainly was surprised,” she bit back. “What on earth made you do that? One of us could have been seriously injured if I had knocked over the tray.”

“I highly doubt that would have happened. We’re both capable of putting out a simple fire. Maybe it would have livened things up a bit for us. At the very least, we’d have an amusing story to tell.”

“Yes at my expense. No thank you!” He offered her a bite of the warm sweet coupled with the ice cream but she adamantly refused, choosing instead to leave the table and retire on the sofa.

She watched as Albus cleared away the dishes, his attempts at presenting Minerva with a wonderful meal ruined. Several times he stopped to stare intently at Minerva, obviously noting the unhappy look on her face and by his own expressions, he had no idea what he had done wrong. And what was worse, Minerva could tell that he had been afraid to even ask her.

[Hogwarts Duo]

Minerva desperately wanted to stop the scene before it went any further but in her heart, she knew she had already gone too far to go back now. He was about to finish clearing the dishes and ask her for a dance. It wouldn’t be long now before the entire evening was ruined.

As he took her in his arms, a male voice floated in the air. It was a familiar voice and one that grated upon Minerva’s very nerves. She cringed every time she heard the famed singer, Frank Sinatra, and no matter how popular he was with the world, she was not charmed in the least by his voice. “What made you choose this particular singer, Albus?”

“Ah, he’s all the rage in the both muggle and wizarding circles. I’ve heard of women practically swooning at his feet during his concerts and I thought it would be nice to share a dance or two snuggled in each others arms as we listened to his music.”

“Oh I see,” was her simple answer.

Albus pulled back and looked deep into her eyes, a feeling she could still remember watching it from a distance. “What did I do wrong now?”

“It’s not that you did anything wrong but of all the singers in the entire world, he’s my least favorite. I’d rather listen to a screeching owl for hours than to hear that man belt out one of his songs.”

Suddenly the music stopped and Albus stepped away from her. He sank into the cushions of the couch and stared off into the distance as Minerva settled on the opposite end of the couch.

“I apologize for creating such a disaster for you this evening, first with the chicken, then dessert, now this. I only wanted to make this night special for us.”

“And it is but you’ve managed to combine all the things I dislike most into one evening and it’s a bit overwhelming. Even the candles are giving me a headache.”

“What’s wrong with a few candles to create a romantic atmosphere for the woman I love?”

“Nothing at all but these are scented candles, honeysuckle and vanilla if I’m not mistaken. Those two scents, when combined, are horrid on my delicate sense of smell. Being a cat does have its’ disadvantages.” Another wave of his hand and many of the candles had disappeared and were replaced by the lights flickering from the wall sconces, the romantic mood now gone.

“I suppose it would be too much to ask you to join me outside for a bit of stargazing? I thought we could cuddle up on the bench and watch the stars come out one by one before making our wishes. And if I got my wish, you’d still be in my arms in the morning as we watched the sun rise together.”

“Darling, I can’t. I promised Poppy and Xiomara I’d go with them into London for a bit of shopping. It’s not something I’d normally do but they were adamant and well it’s been a while since I’ve been.” The grandfather clock chimed ten o’clock as if on cue. “Merlin, is that the time? I should have been in my rooms half an hour ago if I plan on getting any sleep at all. They want to leave early so I need to be in bed.”

Minerva noticed how she casually brushed aside Albus’ needs and wants for those suiting her own purposes. Even the goodnight kiss was lacking in its’ usual passion and intensity. As he walked her to the door, Minerva noticed the sadness that had infiltrated his demeanor down to his every movement. But the most telling sign was that kiss. It was more like old friends bidding one another hello or goodbye rather than lovers parting for the night. There was no long hug filled with tenderness and certainly no heart warming, toe tingling passion that had so often accompanied their partings.

With a quick jerk, Minerva pulled herself from the pensieve and collapsed onto the floor in her rooms. Sobs racked her body as she suddenly realized just how terrible she had been to Albus. She had broken the heart of the only man who had every truly loved her so selflessly and it had taken him leaving her to see just how horrid she had been. In looking back now, she came to understand just how right Poppy had been when she said if she were Albus she’d leave too.

The only problem was that Minerva didn’t want Albus to leave. She wanted to make the world right again. She wanted to visit the sweets shops with him. She desperately wanted him to pop by her office unannounced for a quick hug and kiss. And she’d give anything to have a romantic evening just like the one he planned originally. Because of her, his heart had been broken and now, looking back, she couldn’t blame him for not wanting her in his life anymore.

Yet for the first time in her life, she saw herself through another set of eyes, both his and hers. What she saw made her want to run and hide, never to face him again because of the way she had treated him so often in the past. And then, in looking at herself through Albus’ eyes, she knew instantly what she wanted to be for the rest of her life. She longed to be the woman he saw and was willing to do anything under the sun to make him see the change in her. But first she had to find a way to win him back and make him see just how much she had changed.

As she tried to reign in her emotions and tears, she went out onto her balcony. It was now nightfall and a heavy rain had started to fall but she did not care. Her robes were soaked and her hair, which had come loose from its’ bun, was plastered to her face and neck but she did not care. Somewhere out there was Albus Dumbledore, the kindest, gentlest, most loving man she had ever had the privilege of knowing and his heart was aching. “I promise to make this up to you somehow! I swear it and I’ll be a better woman if you’ll just give me another chance. Just one more chance.”

With those words constantly on her lips, Minerva came back inside and readied herself for bed. Just one more chance would be all it would take. The question was whether or not Albus could or would give her the opportunity to win back his heart.

A/N: Thanks to each and every one of you who has continued to read this story. We realize that it's a little different from the 'norm' but stick with us for a little bit longer....please!