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Post by zoeteproet on Apr 1, 2006 14:48:25 GMT -5
Very good new chapter! The last sentence made me laugh ;D But still... they didn't kiss! If they continue ignoring each other and there feelings like this, I think I'll go crazy, even more crazy than I already am  Wonderful story so far, I hope to read the next chapter soon! Love, Sarah xx |
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chell
Gryffindor Seeker
Whenever one door closes, another one opens
Posts: 41
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Post by chell on Apr 1, 2006 15:35:25 GMT -5
I just wanted to say that I've been lurking for a while, but this chapter made me come out of hiding and register so I could leave feedback. I think that this whole story is wonderfully written and I'm really loving it thus far. I recently went through a situation similar to the one you described for Minerva in this chapter, and you were so accurate with the feelings that it was scary. Keep up the good work. I can't wait for your next update, and I agree with posts before me - - I hope there is kissage soon!!!
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Post by EloquentPhoenix on Apr 1, 2006 16:10:50 GMT -5
Wow what an amazing chapter. So drawing and informative, showing everything, how they would work, hwy they work now, why they feel what they feel. I loved it. It's so full of depth. I agree with nerva, the last three paragraphs are immensely powerful. And this line: 'Knowing yourself beloved by him might just be enough comfort for all of the times when the rest of the world demanded his time.' Of course it would Min! I'm hoping now they're both beginning to realise we might get more flirting and maybe kissing soon... And more developments. I love thsi story and I especially love the pace that it goes at  |
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Post by Isabelle on Apr 1, 2006 16:21:25 GMT -5
<He was in love, with his own wife, and had absolutely no idea what to do about it.>
This line made me smile, but I am still waiting for Minerva to reciprocate!! hint/nudge...
Anyway, this was a lovely chapter. I always enjoy reading your updates because I never know what's going to happen. I look forward to the next part!
Liz
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Post by Hogwarts Duo on Apr 1, 2006 20:58:39 GMT -5
I can't tell you how excited I was to see an update from you for this story. And then to have it turn out to be the chapter where Albus finally get a clue about how he really feels was just the icing on the cupcake. The way he described his first marriage gave me the image of a chivalrous knight on a white horse saving the poor damsel in distress. But, like Albus and even Minerva too, I don't see Minerva as the damsel type. I can't wait to see how he handles his new feelings and when Minerva will come to the same conclusion as Albus. |
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Post by avadagypsy on Apr 2, 2006 5:35:16 GMT -5
He was in love, with his own wife, and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! Very powerful, very moving, can't wait for teh next installment! |
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Post by ginger newts on Apr 3, 2006 9:50:21 GMT -5
Oh excellent! I'm so happy that Albus has realised he's in love. I hope Minerva wakes up soon as well and they do something about it. It was so nice the way they opened up to each other about painful chapters in their past and it's so obvious that they can help heal each other if only they'll open up a bit more. Update soon. |
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Post by helpful alias on Apr 4, 2006 11:31:08 GMT -5
Just found this and have read only the first three chapters but it is excellent. Best fic around at the moment. You do a marvellous job at mixing elements that make us all addictive to this story. Congrats! I have read a fair share of arranged marriage stories but this is by far the best. Wow.
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Post by morgan72uk on Apr 17, 2006 12:49:52 GMT -5
A/N - so, this is Part 8, I have to confess it's longer than I had intended it to be. And, er I do believe someone asked for kissing...
Part 8
“This is not a good idea,” Minerva hissed as she stood in the doorway of the ballroom. She looked almost exactly like a cat – disdainful and petulant and it was all Albus could do not to chuckle at her resemblance to her animagus form. However, he knew her well enough to realise that his amusement at her expense would not be well received.
He understood and to some extent shared her dismay. He would have preferred it if the Minister of Magic had decided to celebrate his appointment as Headmaster of Hogwarts with a smaller, quieter reception – but he did understand why instead the wizarding authorities had felt the need to hold a large, lavish ball. Minerva on the other hand had been reluctant to concede the necessity of such a public event.
She flicked back an unruly wave of hair – again reminding him of an irritated cat. “It’s all right Albus, I have no intention of causing a scene.”
“It never crossed my mind that you would, I was merely wondering what it is about the ball that is making you so, testy?”
“You mean apart from the half a dozen people in there who know we’re married and are no doubt expecting some indication of intimacy from us? Which we’ll only have to find a way to get past the other several hundred guests who have no idea, but who won’t hesitate to gossip or spread rumours about us given the slightest opportunity?”
“Yes, apart from that.” Her sigh was decidedly irritated.
“Why must there be something else?”
“Because I know you – and I know that it takes more to unsettle you.”
“Well, you’re wrong.” He wanted to tell her that he knew he wasn’t – he wanted to tell her that whatever it was it wouldn’t be so awful if they faced it together.
Alternatively, he was quite keen on the idea of giving into the temptation that had been plaguing him ever since laying eyes on her in dress robes – and apparating them both far away from here to a place a lot quieter, with a roaring fire – and possibly a large bed.
Reluctantly he reined in his fantasies, reminding himself that as far as he knew his feelings were one-sided. Which wasn’t to say he was planning to let the moment pass.
“Very well, I won’t interfere, I will only tell you that the somewhat complicated situation you describe is one that I am sure you will handle with consummate skill.”
“Thank you,” the hint of colour on her cheeks was very becoming.
“You look lovely Minerva,” to his delight the blush deepened, and this time he didn’t resist the temptation to brush away an errant strand of hair from her cheek, his touch lingering, before trailing down her neck, over her shoulder and travelling down her arm.
“Albus!” Her exclamation was startled, but there was a flare of heat in her eyes that gave him the courage to continue.
“I’m jealous,” he said quietly, “of whatever it is that’s bothering you, I wanted to be the one thing on your mind tonight.”
“Well, if it helps, you certainly have the capacity to confuse and confound me,” she rallied superbly, her dry comeback an example of her refusal to allow him the upper hand, one of the things he admired most about her.
“I suppose that’s a start, although I’d prefer it if you said your dreams were filled with me, your waking hours…”
“What are you doing?” He didn’t really think he needed to answer that, it was all too clearly a case of actions speaking louder than words. He’d guided her into a dark corner of the anteroom, where the guests who’d already arrived couldn’t see them. His gaze drifted to her lips and reflexively she moistened them in response. It was perfectly clear that at some level, they both knew he was going to kiss her.
“This is not a good idea,” she said for the second time but this time in a voice that was little more that a whisper, her position somewhat undermined by the hand she was already tangling in his hair.
He lowered his lips towards hers, wanting to draw the moment out, not completely certain that she was going to allow this – but she showed no sign of pulling away and just as they were about to touch…
“There you both are!” Armando grinned broadly at the realisation that he had obviously interrupted an intimate moment. “Do I have to remind you both how, difficult the situation would have been if anyone else had interrupted you?”
“No, you don’t” Albus knew his voice was stiff with anger – but for once he didn’t care. Minerva was already moving away from them, her lips set in a thin line of displeasure.
“You have my apologies Headmaster,” she said, “I can assure you it won’t happen again,” and then she stepped into the ballroom and was lost in the throng of people.
****
To say Minerva was confused would be an understatement. At least, in the crowded ballroom there was an opportunity to get lost – although there was something ironic about seeking refuge in the one place she had been dreading going to. But, she had been somewhat out of options and given the choice between the ballroom and remaining to face Albus, her current location had won by an unexpectedly significant margin.
Albus’ behaviour lay at the heart of her current confusion – he’d been extremely attentive recently, more so than ever before. Just days ago on Christmas morning he had showered her with countless small, thoughtful gifts; a book she’d mentioned wanting to read, a pair of gloves that matched her robes, her favourite biscuits, a blend of tea she enjoyed. All evidence that he knew her very well and was prepared to go to a great deal of trouble on her behalf.
Christmas day itself had been special – they’d exchanged gifts early in the morning and then spent the day supervising the students who’d remained at school for the holiday. But, with perhaps a little prompting from his Deputy, the Headmaster had arranged the day to leave their evening free. So, they’d had a quiet supper in front of the fire in her rooms. They’d played chess, with Albus accepting his defeat with good grace and then they’d sat and talked for hours. Their conversation had drifted, she’d asked him to tell her stories and he had obliged, recounting wondrous tales of adventures in far away places – some of which she had actually believed. And she had been lulled almost to sleep with the peace and warmth of his presence – so much so that when he’d stood to leave she had wanted to ask him to stay.
Perhaps then she should have realised that they had become too close. But, it had been so long since anyone had lavished such thought and attention on her – and she had enjoyed it. The problem was she was still enjoying it; she just wasn’t sure what any of it meant. Until just a few moments ago he had been infuriatingly vague about his intentions – and she hadn’t pushed him. But then he had almost kissed her, she’d almost kissed him; he’d been so, compelling and she’d let the moment wrap her up, let the slow sweep of his fingertips across her body cast a spell over her.
But as wonderful as it felt to be the subject of his interest, his pursuit even – she knew she had to put a stop to it. She collected a glass from a passing waiter, and took a meditative sip as she wondered just why she was so sure it was a terrible idea. Would it be so frightful to let her heart rule her head – and find out what she felt for the man who’d been her closest friend for a number of years?
Still arguing the pros and cons with herself she turned and came face to face with the reason she had been so reluctant to attend this event in the first place and the most convincing argument possible for why a relationship with anyone would be a terrible idea.
“Minerva – I was wondering if I would see you tonight.”
****
Albus had been looking for her ever since her abrupt departure from the anteroom – but it was surprisingly difficult to search for one person at a ball where you are the guest of honour. With every step he took there was someone he didn’t know, desperate to tell him how delighted they were at his appointment – when all he wanted to do was talk to Minerva and tell her, well, tell her what he should have told her weeks before.
But she was elusive, or else the ballroom was crowded and his well wishers tenacious – either way, whenever he thought he had caught a glimpse of her she disappeared just as quickly.
He turned his head and scanned the ballroom, sighing with relief when all the way across the room he recognised a gown and a cascade of long, dark hair. He eased his way through the crowd – praying that she wouldn’t disappear before he reached her side. Every time someone stopped him he had to grit his teeth and summon a degree of patience he didn’t quite know he possessed.
But, the closer he got, the more he felt that something was wrong – tension was radiating off her in waves and the last part of the distance between them was covered with scant attention to those who were in his way. He paused, just before he reached her to observe the scene. Her fingers were gripping the glass she held, so tightly that he was concerned that she might break it. She looked pale and far more fragile than he’d ever seen her – what on earth could have discomposed her to such an extent?
He recognised her companion as a senior figure in the Department of International Magical Co-operation, but he had never heard Minerva mention an acquaintance with him, yet alone one that was liable to cause her such distress.
“Professor Dumbledore,” Porus Quintillus saw him first, but Minerva’s eyes widened in shock as he reached her side.
“Porus,” the two wizards shook hands – only marginally sizing each other up.
“Congratulations on your appointment, I was just telling Minerva that she must stand a very good chance of being appointed Transfiguration Professor in your place.”
“I didn’t realise the two of you knew each other.” The comment was addressed at the woman beside him, who was uncharacteristically silent. But it was Porus who answered,
“Minerva and I have known each other for years – although I must admit we haven’t met for some time, I’ve been overseas a great deal and she has been tucked away at Hogwarts. We were very close for a while, before I met my wife of course.” Albus didn’t need the look Minerva shot him to confirm his suspicion that this was the man who had done such damage. And now he understood why she had been so reluctant to attend an event that she must have known was likely to bring her face to face with her former lover.
He wished he could say that Porus was a deeply unpleasant individual – but it wasn’t true. He was intelligent, well-respected, perhaps a little boring; in essence he was a typical Ravenclaw, with the entirely typical Ravenclaw flaw of finding it difficult to deal with emotions. It just so happened that his difficulty had caused pain and distress to the woman Albus cared about.
“If you’ll both excuse me,” he supposed he couldn’t blame Minerva for trying to slip away, but Porus wasn’t going to allow that.
“Minerva – you have to wait to see Cassiopeia, she’d never forgive me if she didn’t have the chance to say hello.” The look on Minerva’s face said that she would rather the ground opened and swallowed her whole, but she wasn’t going to be that lucky.
“Darling, over here!” The woman who glided over to meet them was glowing with pregnancy; an effect that was somewhat spoiled by the malicious glint in her eye as her gaze rested on Minerva.
“Gracious Minerva, it’s been ages!”
“Cassiopeia,” Minerva’s voice was as brittle as spun glass and all four of them lapsed into an uneasy silence. It was Porus who finally filled the silence – introducing his wife to the guest of honour, Albus responded, desperate to find a way for both of them to get out of this situation. But, inevitably Minerva took matters into her own hands – just as Cassiopeia was relating some adventure of their first child she said, quite calmly, “excuse me, I believe Headmaster Dippet is looking for me,” and strode off into the crowd in the general direction of Armando. Albus didn’t know whether to be amused or affronted by the fact that she had abandoned him.
****
This time she wasn’t difficult to find, the balcony was quiet and dark – exactly the place to go if you needed a few moments to retrieve your composure. Albus didn’t speak at first, he took a moment to watch her, shoulders slumped, arms wrapped protectively around her stomach – she was a picture of misery and he wondered if it would be kinder to let her leave. “Don’t just stand there, say something,” she snapped at last.
“I was wondering if you wanted me to tell people you’d been taken ill, you could leave then and…”
“No,” the word was distinct and certain. “I won’t run away like a frightened child, I didn’t want to see them, I knew I probably would – but now it’s happened. And, to be honest, it wasn’t as awful as I feared.”
“You should have said something – if you’d told me who it was we could have found some way to avoid him, or made sure his invitation got lost.”
“Which is exactly why I didn’t tell you. It was a long time ago, but Porus and Cassiopeia are happily married, they were meant to be together – he and I obviously were not. You should go back to the party, everyone will be wondering where you are.”
“When I’m sure you are all right.” She smiled, still a little shaky, but there was more than a hint of her old self in the curve of her lips.
“Well, perhaps a few more moments out here won’t hurt. Are you enjoying the party Professor Dumbledore?”
“Actually – not much. People keep congratulating me, it’s very disconcerting – especially when all I want to do is ask a certain witch I know if she’d like to dance.”
“Well, perhaps if you asked her, you’d find that she’d like to dance with you as well.”
“You make it sound alarmingly simple, will you dance with me my dear?”
“I will.” He took her hand in his and guided her back into the ballroom, determined not to let her out of his sight for the rest of the evening.
****
Luck, it seemed – was definitely not on his side tonight. After several dances Minerva had evaded him again – although perhaps it was for the best, since they had been starting to draw looks as they swirled around the dance floor together. The moment when he had come close to kissing her was tucked away for another time; now he was concerned about how she would react if she came into contact with Porus again. She’d said herself that the anticipation was far worse than the reality so, perhaps, it wouldn’t be so bad, but still he was certain that it would be better if the meeting could be avoided.
His efforts to find Minerva were fruitless – however, his search did reveal Porus, sitting alone at a table – and Albus’ curiosity got the better of him. “May I join you?” The other man gestured to a seat, and then surprised him by asking,
“Is Minerva all right?”
“I think so,”
“Once she’d got over the shock of seeing us you mean?” Albus wasn’t quite sure how to reply to that, not that Porus seemed to need a response. “It was strange, seeing her again after so long. I’m not a terrible person Professor Dumbledore, I thought I loved her,”
“I don’t think this is any of my business, I…”
“And you came and sat down beside me to discuss the finer points of international relations? She obviously told you about our relationship, about how it ended. I didn’t mean to do such damage, I know I was a coward but I couldn’t find the words to tell her; so in the end…”
“She found them for you?”
“Of course, and then Cassie came along and decided I was the one for her and she was right. I just wish Minerva hadn’t been the one who introduced us.” Albus winced and wished that Minerva hadn’t left out that particular detail in her recounting of the tale. “Cassie was new, a little out of her depth and Minerva took her under her wing, looked after her. My wife is a wonderful woman Professor – but she was very clear in her pursuit of me, and I needed that. Everything I did to Minerva seemed to diminish her, I seemed to make her less sure of herself, less confident. I hoped that when our relationship ended she would be given back the confidence she lost – but she just left.”
He knew Porus wanted to hear that it hadn’t been his fault, but it wasn’t in Albus’ power to grant him absolution. Whether it was deliberate or not, Minerva had felt his contempt for her – and that was what had done the damage.
“She doesn’t trust anyone else with her heart – even now.”
“I’m sorry for that – but you can’t make someone love you. Minerva knows that better than anyone. The harder she tried to make me love her, the less I felt for her.” He couldn’t have known, couldn’t have meant it deliberately, but the words hit Albus like blows. He’d been trying to make Minerva fall in love with him for weeks and now he realised that all he ran the risk of doing was destroying their friendship. He’d been behaving as though all he had to do was show her what the great Albus Dumbledore could give her, then snap his fingers and she would fall into his arms. Feeling slightly nauseous he pushed himself to his feet and muttered a few words to Porus. All he wanted to do now was get away – to straighten his thoughts out.
****
“Oh my!” Armando’s exclamation made very little sense and certainly didn’t seem to fit in with their conversation. Minerva followed the direction of his gaze and couldn’t quite believe the sight of Albus, cutting a swathe through the guests, looking more shaken than she had ever seen him before.
“Headmaster, I…”
“Go, I’ll make your excuses,” he agreed without her even needing to finish, although following Albus turned out to be slightly difficult. The ballroom was still crowded and even though she pushed her way past the other guests with a cold ruthlessness, still she only reached the entrance in time to hear the pop of his apparition.
If he hadn’t returned to Hogwarts she would have no way of finding him, but it seemed his most likely destination. All she could think about was the shattered look on his face as he walked out of the ball and what could possibly have affected him like that.
Apparating to the edge of the school grounds she was relieved to see him ahead of her, but he was moving rapidly, his long stride one she was certain she would never catch. She transformed swiftly and the small cat bounded after him, moving more quickly than Minerva ever could, closing the distance between them.
Still he reached the entrance before her and it was only by transforming back and calling out to him that she managed to attract his attention. He came to a halt just inside the entrance hall, looking as though even that was too much of an effort.
“What’s wrong? She reached out to touch his arm, astonished when he flinched, “you stormed out of the ball, Armando and I were worried. Albus?” His face was a storm of rapidly changing emotions, she’d never seen him like this before – power crackled around him and for once she feared his ability to contain it. “For Merlins sake – what happened?”
“Someone reminded me of something, something that in my arrogance I’d completely forgotten about.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It doesn’t matter,”
“Of course it matters, you’re upset.” Upset was, she thought somewhat of an understatement – but it would have to do. “Tell me, I want to help.” His response was a harsh bark of what might just have been laughter.
“Well, I suppose if nothing else you understand how I feel – in a roundabout way.” Now she was more confused than ever, taking a step closer to him, ignoring for now the sparks of magic crackling around him, she grasped his arm.
“Tell me!”
“I’ll never make you love me, will I?” For a moment she reeled, shock rendering her speechless. “I’ve been trying so hard, these last weeks to make you see; to make you care for me. But love doesn’t work that way – it has to be freely given.” This was horrible, not the confrontation she had expected at all. Yet there was some relief in the knowledge that she was the one who had caused this, that what ailed him lay within her power to heal.
“And suppose it is freely given? What then?” His eyes widened for a moment, but he didn’t respond with words. Instead strong arms clasped her to him and desperate, feverish lips sought hers. She held him as tight as she could, needing to soothe him with kisses, with caresses, using everything she felt for him to ease away the pain, even though she still didn’t quite understand what had upset him.
Albus wasn’t going to question what exactly had brought her into his arms, he wasn’t going to worry about anything other than the look in her eyes when she had asked him about love freely given and the feel of her body against his. Dimly he knew that it probably was not a good idea to be sharing heated kisses in such a public location – but on the other hand, he needed this. He had been so sure that he was risking their friendship by pursuing her, so certain that he was going to have his heart broken by the knowledge that she wouldn’t allow herself to return his feelings.
“What on earth!” The doors crashed open, bringing the desperate embrace to a sudden halt. He felt every muscle in Minerva’s body stiffen and it was all he could do to hold her there. “Haven’t we already had one conversation this evening about being discrete?” He could tell that Armando wasn’t really annoyed, it was well after one am and the few students still in the school were safely tucked into bed.
“It was my fault,” he told the Headmaster, “I reacted to something someone said to me at the ball, and decided to leave. Minerva came after me – and we couldn’t help ourselves.”
“I am not accustomed to falling over my staff behaving like our teenage students. You both have perfectly adequate rooms – please try to confine your, expressions of affection to them.”
“We will,” he looked down at the woman he was still holding, but her eyes were unreadable, a cold chill settled on him – she should be laughing, she should be…
Still mumbling to himself Armando turned on his heel and began to walk towards his study. As soon as the headmaster’s back was turned, Albus felt the air change around him - the woman he was holding disappeared abruptly and a small tabby cat ran from him – as though pursued by the hounds of hell.
TBC
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Post by EloquentPhoenix on Apr 17, 2006 14:33:34 GMT -5
I don't quite know what to say. In fact I have no idea, the rapid changes of emotions in that chapter... I'm rather speechless. I'm really enjoying the developments with Minerva's past and the way they linked in with the developments in their relationship. How could he let her go? I'm beginning to think they're stupider than I ever thought. They quite simply cannot see, they all but said 'I love you' and still they fight it. I can't wait for more on how Minerva's past has affected her and what Albus will do about it. The beginning was so beautifully described with a flirtatious(sp) edge that fitted exactly with the developing mood as it was forebording of what was to come. It's more than obvious they love each other, I just wish they'd see that it was meant to be. And kisses Huge plot developments in a way that fitted the story and reflects the way Minerva told him he could marry her at the end of chapter 1. Evil cliffhanger I will admit. So please do update soon, I can't wait! That was a lot saying I started off speechless... |
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Post by Nerweniel on Apr 17, 2006 15:16:13 GMT -5
How absolutely great! I love how you painted Minerva's emotions, they're very believable and realistic and all... though of course I do hope that Albus and her can be happily together at some point in the near future . Looking forward to a next chapter! Love, Lies |
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Post by zoeteproet on Apr 17, 2006 15:28:03 GMT -5
Well, Lies said it all, I hope Min and Albus will get happily together. Thanks for the good chapter, I'm (as usual) looking forward for more. Love, Sarah xx |
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Post by Sensiblyquirky on Apr 17, 2006 15:33:28 GMT -5
Oh I just love this story...I was very bad and read it at work. I loved how it all happened rather quickly, as in this last chapter specifically.
I would really love to read more of Minerva's internal musings, perhaps if there is more than just the damage from the last relationship or if that is all of it.
Christy
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Post by Hogwarts Duo on Apr 17, 2006 15:41:53 GMT -5
Words fail me at the moment. This chapter was exceptinally well written and I think I ran the roller coaster of emotions with both Albus and Minerva in each paragraph. The way you described Albus' feelings and intentions seemed exactly like something I would expect him to do or think. And upon realizing his 'error' towards the end of this chapter, I honestly think you nailed that one. I can see him being physically sick at the thought of pushing her away as he was bound to do should he continue on his current path. As for Minerva...another accurate and well thought out set of events for her. I believe she acted just as we would expect our strong Minerva to react to the current situation. But in the end, having them share a moment, a rather heated and passionate moment, can only mean wonderful things for the future. I just hate that Armando is so clueless that he would interrupt them, causing Minerva to dash away. Grrr at him for being so rude  I, too, look forward to the next update and one more thing...don't ever worry about how long a chapter is when they're this well written and emotional. |
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Post by Isabelle on Apr 17, 2006 16:05:32 GMT -5
I agree with Christy. More from Minerva's POV would spice things up a bit.
This was a very well written chapter. I liked the irony between Porus and Minerva's relationship and Albus and Minerva's relationship. It tied up some loose ends. There were some places where you placed commas that didn't seem necessary so the flow seemed a little awkward, but other than that it was a very good chapter.
I also really think the tension struggles in their developing relationship are well characterized. Albus trying to be an ever-doting husband, while his bride is reluctant when set up in an arranged marriage. But I do like how Minerva comforts him at the end. It was a nice touch and added just that much more to the scene where it shows Albus has his own flaws as well.
I hope to see more soon!
Liz
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Post by ismaco on Apr 17, 2006 19:52:39 GMT -5
You left me speechless... this is a wonderful chapter!
Tension... tension... tension!! WOW!
This story is awesome! You pictured them SO well that I'm impressed and also intrigued with the last paragraph... I hope you can update soon!
Isabel
PS. I'm going to send Armando a yo-yo... so he has something else to do than interrupting interesting moments!
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