A Convenient Fiction

[ginger newts]

Oh no!! It was all going so well before Armando's interruption. I hope things get back on track for Albus and Minerva soon. They need more kissing and less awkwardness.

This was a really excellent chapter. You did an amazing job of blending backstory with emotion and kept me near the edge of my seat wondering what would happen by the end of the chapter. The confrontations with Porus were wonderful, as well as the instinctive way Albus and Minerva needed to comfort each other after being unsettled.

I can't wait for the next update and I hope things start to go more smoothly for our couple.

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

loving it! can't wait for up date- keep up the great work

[zyx]

Oh no...

That was a bit too fast for Min I guess.
I hope he goes after her. What am I thinking, he has to!
wonderful story!

[Gemmie Lou]

please update soon im loving this story xxxxx

[foci]

Hey,

I read the story but never commented because my exams started, now I use the chance to compliment you. One of the best arranged marriage stories that I have ever read. You have a strong vocabulary that makes it a pleasure to read your story. I plan to give you a chapter-to-chapter review when my exams are over, if anyone, you do deserve it.
I'll get straight to the point of this review. While as a stand-alone this chapter was wonderfully written I have some concerns regarding the flow of the whole story...and I dare to mention this because I hold the (mis)conception that you may care about this. You have established an engaging style in the first seven chapters, which consisted of a certain mixture of character and plot-driven elements. This balance of elements has been obviously upset in this chapter. Chapter 8 was thousand times more intense than any of the previous chapters and I don't know how it will fit the "big picture" so to speak. Naturally, each story has its own speed with slower and quicker chapter. I trust you to have your reasons for such a drastic change and that in the end the chapters will make a 'picture perfect'.

I have to admit that besides a wild guess I have no idea why Minerva stormed off at the end of the chapter (I feel real stupid) and I can hardly wait to get a proper explanation from you.
I found the name Porus very funny, your beta can explain why.

The fact that you looked for a beta as soon as a reviewer commented on a possible grammar problem makes me respect you as an author even more.

Keep going and keep the inspiration coming, wherever it is coming from!!!

[morgan72uk]

A/N - I have to confess, I was more than a little tempted to conclude this story here. It fits (more or less) with cannon as far as we know it and would be a great set up for a long, deep friendship. But the romantic in me protested.

Part 9

It was almost dawn. The rain was falling heavily against the windows of the house, which was itself almost as dark and murky as the early Edinburgh morning.

In the study the embers of a fire flickered in the grate, casting shadows across the face of the woman curled into a high-backed chair. There was a tray of food close at hand, but the meal had scarcely been touched. In fact it was unclear if the women sitting gazing into the dying flames was even aware that it had been placed before her.

Minerva didn’t know what she was doing here, she couldn’t really explain the impulse that had carried her to this place when she had fled from Hogwarts. The old house in the heart of Scotland’s capital had been her childhood home. But she never came here now, unless she had to – the empty, silent rooms held few happy memories for her.

She had been an only child, her parents had not exactly been in the first flush of youth when she was born – and she had never been entirely clear that her conception wasn’t an accident. They had not been cruel; just too absorbed by their studies to make room for her in their lives. They had both been so serious, leaving little time for childishness, for silly, joyful games, for being young. Early on she had learnt that her best chance to gain the approval of her parents was by being studious and quiet – and so, throughout her childhood, she had been studious and quiet.

She’d had no friends of her own age until she went away to school – having lived exclusively with adults. In this house she had learnt the basics of transfiguration and of charms, not to mention more about potions than she ever wanted to know, but almost nothing about love and loving. Learning had been the religion here; it had been placed above love, above friendship, above caring. She could still remember the consternation that greeted the news that she, the daughter and granddaughter of noted Ravenclaws, had been sorted into Gryffindor. Bravery and loyalty were, after all, emotions – they were things you felt, they couldn’t be taught. It had made her a stranger in her own family – something that not even her academic brilliance had ever entirely dispelled.

So she’d come here, to this dark and gloomy house where she had spent a gloomy and neglected childhood. A place that matched her mood.

She was still wearing the dress robes she’d worn to the ball – in her headlong flight there had been no time for a change of clothes. A tartan blanket was draped around her shoulders – but she didn’t really remember how it had got there. Perhaps one of the house elves? Her abrupt arrival had thrown them into a flurry of activity – no doubt they were cooking and cleaning in case she was staying for longer than a few hours. She hadn’t told them that she had no idea what she was going to do, where she was going to go.

Albus loved her. It was incredibly difficult to get her mind to move beyond that amazing, dizzying revelation and she clutched it as a drowning man clutches at the hope of rescue.

She loved him back. It had been creeping up on her for weeks, perhaps even for years. The wonder was that it had taken her so long to see it. She thought back to the day she had offered to marry him, now she understood that it had been an offer made out of love.

But it was no good – nothing could come of it, there would be no relationship beyond friendship, no love affair. Loving him did not change the fact that she simply did not trust herself.

Unbidden her mind returned to those painful final months with Porus, when she had tried everything to make him remember that once he had said he loved her. How desperate she had been, how humiliated, how unhappy. She’d hated herself for needing him so much, for not being able to go a single day without speaking to him when he seemed to find even the most basic of conversations with her a chore. She had loathed the way she had clung to him as he had tried to pull away.

She had promised herself once it was finally over and done with, that she would never allow herself to lose her identity to that extent again. She would never betray herself, never again be so desperate for one persons love, that she would cease to think about who she was and what she needed. But she understood the weakness now, knew that she had it in her. The little girl who had grown up without her parents’ unconditional love, had grown into a woman so desperate for love that when it came her way she would do almost anything to keep it.

She wouldn’t allow herself to do that again, she wouldn’t risk the descent into that madness – not even for Albus.

***
The Seer of Islay had awoken to a vision. He knew that Minerva McGonagall would come to him that day, that her arrival would bring distress. He had acted upon the knowledge – sending an owl to her husband immediately. However, he wished he had paid more attention to her demeanour in the vision, since he had clearly failed to notice just how terrifying she was when angry. Now, as they stood on the cliff top, her wand pointing at him, her arm completely steady as she repeated her demand, he was very aware of both her power and her steely determination. He had no doubt that she was capable of inflicting all the pain and discomfort that she threatened. Where was Dumbledore?

The soft pop of an apparition answered his question and he opened his mouth to greet the new arrival, only to shut it abruptly without uttering a sound. It was abundantly clear that Albus Dumbledore wasn’t even remotely interested in him – his gaze was fixed on the woman beside him as she demanded, once again, that the marriage bond be dissolved.

For the first time since Minerva had fled from him the evening before, Albus was able to breathe easily. She was here, before him – safe and sound; although her anger was palpable and he was very glad that he was not the subject of it. He had scarcely slept last night, waiting up to see if she would return. Only in the very early hours of the morning had he fallen asleep, determined that if she did not appear by lunch he would search for her.

The message from the Seer had made the search unnecessary, but there was still the matter of why she had run away from him in the first place. Now he knew he also had to deal with her desire to end the marriage. There was no doubt that if she insisted he would agree to the dissolution – he could do nothing else, the idea of forcing her to remain married to him was repulsive. If he had done something wrong he wanted the chance to redeem himself; but he wanted to understand first.

He breathed her name and although when she heard him her head snapped around, her arm and the wand she held did not waver. “If you want to end our marriage don’t you think you should at least discuss it with me first?”

“How did you know I was here Albus?” He didn’t have to answer that, her gaze returned to the Seer, “the genuine article,” she commented dryly.

“Minerva,” he drew her attention back to him, “tell me what’s going on?”

“He refuses to dissolve our marriage,”

“He can’t – without my agreement and I won’t agree, until you explain.”

“Don’t you think it will be better, easier this way? We wouldn’t have to tell anyone, the Governors and Armando could continue to think we are married,” His heart sank, she sounded so determined, so reasonable; yet it was unlike her to act in haste and anger.

“What about our feelings?”

“Our feelings are irrelevant.”

“I don’t believe that, I don’t think you believe it.” He watched her, seeking understanding, concerned by her behaviour, but also worried about her. He had to get them both away from here, talk to her calmly and quietly – not like this. “Ask him about our wedding,” he said, nodding towards the Seer. “Ask him about the light.”

“Albus – you know we aren’t supposed to explain,” he had expected the Seer to be reluctant to share these most secret of details, especially with one as sceptical as Minerva. But, he could see that she was intrigued by what he had said, that she wanted to know. He hoped that desire was greater than her need to dissolve the marriage.

“Make an exception,” his gaze burned into the Seer’s, “tell her.” With no further comment the Seer asked Minerva,

“What do you remember from the wedding?”

“The sea, the cliffs, the incantation, our wands touching and then the light.”

“What did you see in the light?” Albus almost chuckled at her expression and he could see the Seer wince in fear. Minerva’s wand was still pointing at him – perhaps this was not a good time to ask her stupid questions.

“Nothing – it was a blinding light.”

“Are you sure?”

“Nothing – only Albus.” She followed the looks the two men exchanged, “what? What is this about? What does the light mean?”

Albus knew she had been trying to find the answer to that question, he also knew the reason it had eluded her so far. She’d been seeking to answer the wrong question.

“The light is meaningless,” the Seer said at last, with marked reluctance; “it’s a mechanism, nothing more. Something that cuts away the interference and leaves only the truth, what really matters. In its wake you see what you need to. I saw your path; that one day you would both return here - although I didn’t expect the return to be such a dramatic event. You saw your husband.”

“And I saw you,” Albus took a step towards Minerva, then another. His fingers clasped her arm – drawing the wand away from the Seer – for a moment it pointed at him but he was not afraid. He already knew that she could hurt him far more with words than with a curse. “Do you still want to end our marriage?”

“I don’t know what I want.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, weary and confused, her senses spinning from his proximity. When she opened them again they were alone – and the landscape had changed dramatically. The cliffs and the sea had gone, in their place were gently rolling hills and a dark forest, Albus had apparated them back to Hogwarts. She turned her head and looked at the castle, standing solidly before them, as though it had weathered storms, battles and everything in between. For all she knew it had done exactly that, would continue to stand long after they were both gone.

Albus watched her for a moment – the tiredness and strain evident on her face, he wanted to hold her, to carry her indoors, put her to bed and worry about everything else later. But he knew he could not.

“Will you explain to me what this is all about? I know that last night I may have, taken advantage of the moment – if I made you uncomfortable or…”

“You didn’t. Did you mean it?”

“Of course,” their eyes met and in the warmth of his gaze she could see everything he had not said. His feelings for her were tangible, a warm embrace that wrapped around her. It was unconscionable that she would hurt him – yet she had no choice.

“I was afraid of that. I can’t love you back Albus, I thought if I dissolved our marriage I could run away from my feelings,”

“But it doesn’t work that way. You do love me back Minerva – it isn’t something you can have any control over. What you mean is, you can’t allow yourself to act upon those feelings.” She blinked back tears, with no intention of disputing his analysis of their situation.

“Do you always have to be so insightful, so intelligent?”
“The fact that I can diagnose the problem does not mean I have a solution to it. Will you explain it to me?”

“I’m afraid.” Such simple words, such a complex set of emotions – he deserved a far better explanation. “I’m afraid that if I let myself love you, I’ll lose myself, give myself away willingly. It’s a weakness of mine, it’s what I did with Porus, and I promised myself that I would never let it happen again.”

“I’m not Porus,”

“No – you’re not. You’re a brilliant man, someone many people in our world look to for leadership. You’re a good man, a better and a braver man than Porus. But I am the same; with the same fears, the same weaknesses. I do love you Albus, and I know that if I tell you I am too afraid to take the risk, you won’t ask that I do.”

The previous evening she had stepped into his arms and he had known that, by some miracle she loved him. Now, he held the same knowledge – but it was heart breaking. She was right, he couldn’t make her face her fears, only she could chose to do that. And he understood why she would not.

This time the great Albus Dumbledore had no solution – there was no ancient magic that would save him, no secret plan that would rescue the damsal in distress. The monsters he faced were hers, yet this was not his fight and he had no weapons to aid her struggles.

“I want to wrap you up with love, promise you that I would never let anything so awful befall you – that I won’t treat you the way he did. But, it wouldn’t be enough, would it?”

“No.” They stood together in silence, until at last she stretched out a hand to him; “I don’t know what to do Albus. I don’t know how we can go on like this.”

“Do you want to dissolve our marriage?” She shook her head and he took heart from that at least. He wrapped his hand around hers, the only physical contact he would allow himself. “Then we go on as before. Our marriage is a matter of convenience, the Governors are convinced by it. We are colleagues, I hope we are friends – I will agree not to pursue a deeper relationship with you Minerva; but I refuse to give you up.”

The tears that had been threatening did escape her then; there was a comfort in his pledge as well as the sense of what she was giving up, what she was asking him to give up. But he had understood – which was more than she had expected or hoped for. What he was offering her was a friendship based in love, even though they both accepted that it could go no further.

It was something she didn't believe she deserved; even though she knew herself well enough to know it was what she needed.

With their hands clasped together they began the walk back to the school – both knowing the road they faced was not, by any means an easy one, but that it was the one they had both chosen.

TBC

[Trulyamused]

Oh, wow.

A very moving conversation. Resolute yet fearful.

Hope to read more very soon.

Truly

[zoeteproet]

Oh no oh no *shakes head* how in the world could you let that happen to Min and Albus.
Everything was running smoothly between them, when suddenly ...!
Although the part with the Seer was very funny I didn't want to be in his situation.
An angry Minerva, a wand and no Albus, very dangerous situation. ;D
But as always, Albus saved them.
I hope their relationship will NOT be one of merely friendship, that would be torture. *is all stressed*
They love each other!!!! They should be kissing and stuff like that.
But alas, I'm utterly romantic.
Keep the good work up, I really enjoy your story and I hope there will be a happy ending.
Love,
Sarah xx

[tanja]

this was so sad. Poor Minerva, first that childhood without love, and then a relationship destroying being able to love again after.
I can only hope she´ll be able to face her fear. Soon.

[Miss Q]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting the romantic in you take charge! But I do feel a little sad about the twist of things. I do hope the it will become even more romantic!!!

M

[Hogwarts Duo]

You've managed to break my heart with this update for so many reasons. I can somewhat understand Minerva's reasoning for wanting to dissolve her marriage to Albus but at the same time she's also denying herself happiness based on what happened in the past.

I really do hope that the romantic in you wins out and gives the romantic in me a very happy, fluffy ending with lots and lots of kisses!

Great job!

[Sensiblyquirky]

Oy. My first reaction to this chapter, oy. I understand Minerva on this, I think it is very heart-breaking, but it is very believable to trust yourself least of all. However I appeal to your romantic side to appease my romantic side. I shall plead: it is finals time for me, and I need nice romance to read to make it better that I'm doing nothing but studying.

Excellent job!

Christy

[chell]

I'm glad the romantic in you is protesting!! That was wonderfully written, but if it had stopped there it would also be incredibly sad (so says the romantic in me).

[ismaco]

Hmm... dear!
I love the way you pictured Minerva's family... and well, I hated Min's parents and, obviously, Portus! I understand Minerva's reasons but I expect she realizes that the easy path it's not always the better one.

BTW, You DO remember this story is placed on the "Romance" section, right? *sigh* I can wait to read how Min faces her fears *hoping she will*

Excellent chapter...
Isabel

[zyx]

Indeed that would have been a fabulous ending, but I'm sure the romantic in you made an even better one! (For this one depressed me alittle T_T... )

Can't wait for more!

[Jessabelle]

Beautifully written my dear! You make the emotions so realistic and easy to relate to; I can feel their pain and love. I am very glad that you did not decide to end the fic.here because there are so many ways you could with this story right now that it would be a shame to see it end. I can't wait until your next post!
- Jess

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

love the chapter.....but oh, so sad poor Albus, and min too....lol....cant wait for update- keep up great work

[cnt b bothered 2 log in]

:-*i love this story please give us more xxxxxxxxxxxx

[lemonygingersnaps]

WOW - I can not wait for more excellent story!

[avadagypsy]

have I told you i love this fic? Can't wait for next update!

[morgan72uk]

A/N - thanks for the reviews and support for this story. It took an unexpected turn in this part - I hope you think it works.

Part 10

“That cup has been part of the school’s china collection for over 200 years. The Reparo spell won’t work on it – perhaps you ought to put it down before the worst happens?” Roused from her reverie, Minerva glanced down and discovered that she was clutching the fragile cup just a little too tightly. Sheepishly she placed it back onto the table and looked towards the person who had been so concerned with its safety.

“Thank you Headmaster, although if I were you I’d be more concerned about how the china collection will fare when it has Albus to protect it.”

“I shudder to think.” They shared a quick smile; “perhaps I should warn the house elves not to let him have access to it too often.”

“That might be wise.” Her gaze drifted across the room to where the man in question was still absorbed in conversation with the rather beautiful advisor to the Romanian Minister of Magic. As she stretched out a hand to touch Albus’ arm, again, Minerva entirely failed to suppress her hiss of annoyance. Although she only realised her response had been audible when Armando started to chuckle.

“You have to give her points for persistence Minerva. She’s been trying to seduce him since she arrived. I don’t think she is used to being resisted for so long – in fact I don’t think she is used to men failing to notice when she is offering, well – everything.”

“You think he doesn’t realise? I can assure you Albus is very aware of what is going on.”

“I’m sure he is – I just think he had decided that appearing not to notice is the best strategy for dealing with the matter without creating what would be tantamount to a diplomatic incident.”

Minerva narrowed her eyes – trying to decide if Armando was right. She had scarcely seen Albus in the last few days and there had been no opportunity to quiz him about his latest admirer. “I’m sure Albus wouldn’t object to being rescued if you can think of a pretext.”

“Our guest doesn’t like me much,” she commented and though she didn’t say that the feeling was mutual, she got the impression that Armando already realised that.

“No, well I’m sure she senses a rival.” Minerva knew she must have looked alarmed at this and Armando hastened to reassure her. “She has no idea of the true state of affairs between you and Albus of course – but it’s obvious that you are close friends and that might be enough to mark you as a threat, an obstacle in her attempts to well…”

“Seduce my husband,” she concluded dryly.

She was glad that Armando had no idea just how complicated things were between them. He probably thought the Governors’ requirement that the new headmaster be married had done them a favour – spurred them into formalising their existing relationship. They’d worked very hard to make sure that was what he thought and only occasionally did she feel guilty about just how much they were deceiving him.

Over the course of a long, hard winter she and Albus had struggled to manage their feelings and to find a way to restore their friendship. Spring had arrived just a few weeks ago and with it, finally, had come the feeling that they had survived the worst.

In the long hours before dawn, on the nights when sleep eluded her, she knew that it was her fault, her cowardice. Any other woman would have leapt at the chance of being loved by such a man, of loving him back. Certainly her refusal to allow their relationship to develop made her reaction to seeing him with another woman absurd. But that didn’t change the fact that she was used to being the one who was closest to him and now, for whatever reason, he was absorbed by someone else. And she was unsettled.

She knew they would never have found a way to be at ease with each other again had it not been for Albus’ determination. He had been the one to instigate the chess games, quiet dinners and fireside chats that had lasted into the early hours of the morning. It must have been difficult for him to sit beside her, hour after hour and not talk about their feelings. But he had asked nothing more of her than her company and gradually they had found a way. It had become, if not easier to be together then at least not so difficult.

She felt as though she knew more about him now than before. Though he was naturally reticent, perhaps even secretive, he had talked to her more about his life, his hopes and his fears. For the first time she had realised just how deeply involved he was in the affairs of the Ministry, how important he was to the ongoing peace and security of their world.

She hadn’t exactly reciprocated this candour, but she had spoken a little about her childhood. He was perceptive enough to read between the lines and guess at the details she had omitted. But he had scarcely commented, offering only that he understood now why she had left academia behind to teach a younger age group. The insight was a good one – she’d loved research but hated the insular world of the University; finding it stifling and full of egos. She’d been surprised to feel so at home in an equally closed community. But shaping and guiding young minds had made all the difference in the world.

Their discussion had an interesting side-effect, for the first time in years she was returning to research, gathering material for a series of articles. Her tentative approach to a journal had been met by a surprisingly enthusiastic response. Albus had encouraged her of course, discussing the subject when she had raised it, wary of offering advice unless she directly requested that of him. He had been so careful not to interfere – to ensure that the work was something of her own.

“Is Albus all right?” She looked back at Armando, startled by his question. “He’s been looking tired recently. I know taking over as Headmaster feels like a daunting task, but he is more than equal to it Minerva.”

“I know he is,” she glanced back across the room, taking the time to really look at Albus. Armando was right she decided, he did look tired.

The convenient, easy explanation was that although this was the Easter holidays he’d had little opportunity to take a break. The Governors’ had organised a series of events to mark Armando’s retirement and Albus’ presence at all of these had been mandatory. And that was before the Minister of Magic decided to hold secret, high level talks with a visiting delegation at Hogwarts. It was entirely unreasonable for the school to be at the centre of such political manoeuvrings, for them to be playing host without knowing what was really happening, but there was little they could do to prevent it.

“He has been rather busy in recent weeks,” she said, offering the diplomatic answer.

“Perhaps you could exert your influence to get him to rest.”

“I can try,” she didn’t say that her success would entirely depend on the outcome of these discussions. She wasn’t naive enough to believe that Hogwarts had been chosen as a venue because of the castle’s aesthetics. If politics had come to the school only one reason, or rather one person, had brought it here. “If you’ll excuse me,” she murmured softly to her companion. His eyes flashed with mischief as she stood.

“Should I expect an international incident?” he enquired.

“Of course not,” she replied. “I’m far more subtle than that.”

The conversation was not sufficiently absorbing – so Albus had no difficulty in following Minerva’s progress across the room. She moved with a controlled grace that reminded him of the cat she sometimes became. He felt familiar warmth spread through him at the realisation that, despite an entirely circuitous route, she was heading in his direction.

He noticed with interest that many people stopped her – trying to involve her into their conversations. She didn’t believe it yet, but her appointment as Head of Gryffindor was likely to draw her into the public eye, give her a profile and level of influence that she deserved – even though she might not entirely welcome it.

He was glad to see her smile. It had been a long few months and there had been times when he had feared that she would retreat entirely from him – and from everyone else.

He’d never pursued a woman like this, although, in fact it was scarcely a pursuit. Perhaps he had grown accustomed to women being more interested in him than he was in them. Surely he had never thought so much about his interactions with one person, never tried so hard to peel away his own layers of defences.

For the first time in a very long time he wanted someone to see beyond his strength and abilities. He wanted her to understand what made him vulnerable, what he feared. It was the only way really, the only thing he could do to help Minerva overcome her fears.

There were times when he thought it was working, times when their intimacy, without as much as a kiss or a touch, was staggering. But at other moments he lost hope and believed that things would never change between them. It was some comfort that if they never moved forward they would still have a wonderful friendship – but it wasn’t enough.

“Professor Dumbledore?” the sultry voice at his side reminded him that he was neglecting his current companion. He returned his attention to the woman beside him and trepidation replaced the warm glow.

It was perfectly clear that the Romanians were here for a reason, visiting delegations did not randomly descend upon the School – especially when relations between the two countries had been almost non-existent since the end of the war. He didn’t believe for a moment that this was a spontaneous good will visit; he had no doubt that there must be something very seriously amiss.

“I’m sorry, my attention wandered for a moment.”

“Yes, I can see that.” Lucretia Dragomir allowed her gaze to wander in Minerva’s direction, her eyes narrowed and he could tell that she was annoyed that he had been watching his fellow teacher so closely. “You’ve been doing an admirable job of containing your curiosity.”

“My curiosity about what?”

“Touche Professor.” He knew very well that she would try to use the information she had to entice him. She was intelligent and ambitious and in the political circles she moved in such manoeuvrings were undoubtedly necessary. But this was a different environment and surely, by now, she had realised that he wasn’t going to respond to her.

It was irrelevant anyway – because he would find out the Romanians wanted, probably later this evening. And, just at the moment he was more interested in Minerva.

“Good afternoon Professor McGonagall,” her travels had finally brought her to their corner of the room.

“Professor Dumbledore, Madam Dragomir.” Minerva gave every appearance of being oblivious to the unfriendly look their guest shot her. But he suspected she had given a lot of thought to the way she stepped just a little closer to him, touched his arm and lowered her voice conspiratorially. “Albus, I think the Minister has been trying to find a moment to talk to you for quite a while now.”

“Ah, well, perhaps I should not keep him waiting. Thank you for the warning my dear.”

Minerva watched him cross the room, completely aware that Madam Dragomir was glaring at her. People often described her as cold and stern, while it was true she found it difficult to express her feelings, she had learnt there were times when this was a decided advantage.

“I hope you are enjoying your stay at Hogwarts,” she commented – playing the gracious hostess.

“It is not a question of enjoyment, we are here to deal with a serious matter.”

“Of course,”

“But, I think I have underestimated you. You are a far more challenging opponent than I realised.” Their gaze locked for a moment and Minerva had no doubt that they were talking about Albus now. The gloves were off and she took a moment – wondering how to respond. She actually considered telling her competitor that she was Madam Dumbledore, and damn the consequences. But, she had not spent months being cautious only to lose her composure now.

“Let me assure you that you have, entirely, misjudged the situation.” The words were carefully chosen, and she thought ambiguous. But as she turned away, she realised that Albus had finished his conversation with the Minister and returned to them. The look on his face told her that he had interpreted what he had overheard in a way she had not necessarily intended. She hated how easy it was for her to cause him pain.

But, as though he had realised he had given too much away his expression changed, “Minerva, I am afraid our chess game this evening will have to be postponed. The Minister has asked me to join our Romanian guests for a meeting.”

“I understand,” she dropped her voice to a whisper, “you think they’ll tell you what this is all about?”

“I hope so, will you be awake later if I come to find you?”

“Of course.”

****
Minerva stood in front of the windows in her study. The night was a fine one, the sky a carpet of indigo, in which stars sparkled like diamonds. She had been thinking a great deal about the moment earlier that afternoon, when her careful words in response to Madam Dragomir had caused Albus pain.

She wasn’t used to being in a position where her words or her actions could have such an impact on another person. She had hurt him, he had made her jealous – it had been a complicated few hours. It was scarcely fair to blame him for her response to seeing him with another woman, especially when he had done nothing to make it appear he was interested in their Rumanian visitor. Actually it was scarcely fair to be jealous when she had told him their relationship could progress no further.

The tap on the door roused her and although she wasn’t surprised by the identity of her visitor, she hadn’t been expecting to see him wearing a heavy outdoor gown. Albus looked as though his mind was somewhere else, but he smiled and said, “I feel as though I need some fresh air, will you come for a walk with me?”

“Of course, where are we going?”

“Just to the lake.” They spoke little as they walked through darkened corridors, and once outside they continued in silence until she could stand it no longer. It was a spectacular evening; the colours more intense than she’d realised from indoors, the air sharp and cold, but she was scarcely aware of that. Her companion's silence was becoming more worrying by the second and though he was beside her, everything about his demeanour screamed distance.

“Albus, what is it? Something to do with the Rumanians?”

“I need to ask you a favour.”

“I’ve already married you – isn't that enough of a favour?” For a moment she thought she had said the wrong thing, but then he chuckled, his delighted laughter bubbling forth.

“That’s very true – I promise this favour will not be so onerous.”

“What is it?”

“ I have to go away for a few weeks, perhaps a little longer. I know my Gryffindors will be in the very best of hands with you. I hope you will also cover some of my transfiguration classes – perhaps the sixth and seventh years?” This was not what she had been expecting. It was almost the beginning of term, over the next few weeks there would be exams to prepare for and there was still much to do before he was ready to take over from Armando. And he was leaving?

“Where are you going, why are you going? Albus this is hardly the best time, can’t it wait?”

“I’m afraid it can’t.” He was silent and she knew that he could not, or would not tell her what was taking him away.

“And clearly you can’t talk about it. Is it dangerous, can you tell me that at least?”

“It may be dangerous – but I will not be alone.”

“I am sure Madam Dragomir will be delighted to have you as a companion.” She hadn’t meant to say it, but the words escaped her before she could stop them and once uttered they could not be called back. He sighed heavily,

“Think about what you just said to me Minerva, and why. Think about what it means.” She wanted to notice that he had not denied that he would be with Madam Dragomir. But all she could think about was the tone of his voice and the intense look in his eyes. She shook her head, trying to break the spell he had cast over her.

“If I promise to do that, will you promise me that you’ll be careful?”

“I have every intention of returning.” He didn’t say that he would be coming back to her, for her. But she heard and felt the words anyway. She hadn’t expected to feel like this; frightened, lonely and incredibly vulnerable. She did not want to part from him like this.

“When do you leave?”

“In the morning. I’ll be away for a week, two at the most. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Will you stay with me tonight?” She didn’t think she had ever seen him as stunned as he was in that moment.

“No.” He cupped her face with his hands and pressed a gentle kiss onto her forehead. “If you ever make me that offer again, I want it to be because you mean it, because you want to be with me more than anything, not because you are jealous and confused.”

She closed her eyes and nodded, expecting him to let her go. But, when she opened her eyes again he was still looking at her, still touching her. He had not said that he was worried, but now, up close, she could see the concern in his face. Although he had refused her offer, she was glad that he had not let her go. She didn’t think twice about stepping towards him, about holding him in her arms and offering him the comfort he would not ask for.

She would deal with her own feelings later, for now all she could think about was him.

TBC

[lazy mugglemin]

Man, you do it to me every time! That was another great chapter - a real return to the angst of earlier installments. I loved that she asked him to stay with her, and that he refused. Very Albus, I feel. Please update again soon!
mugs.x

[Trulyamused]

Min getting jealous without really realizing it and then offer and Albus' turn down. Wonderful, thoughtful, and angsty installment.

Hope to read more soon.

Truly

[Hogwarts Duo]

That was a fantastic update, though I do feel so sorry for Albus. I completely agree with his answer to Minerva's question about staying with her. He deserves to be loved for the right reasons and not because Minerva suddenly realized he was jealous.

Hope you update again soon so I can see how all this turns out!

[ismaco]

I love this story... it's absolutely perfect!!
Jeez! I hope you can udapte soon, I can't wait to read what's next.
Bravo!!
Isabel

[Miss Q]

*sigh* WOW! What a wonderful chapter! I do feel sorry for them both, but I think I can hold on to my hope that Minerva is to see the light.

Thanks for this lovely story!!!!!!

M

[zoeteproet]

That was absolutely beautiful. I'm grateful Madam Dragomir came in the picture, she brought Min and Albus closer, although unwillingly. ;D

[Nerweniel]

I'm always so looking forward to an update of this fic... you're doing a magnificent job with it. I loved how this chapter gradually brought Albus and Minerva a bit closer again... great job .

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

loved it!!! oh.....gettign exciting lol Great fic keep up great work!

[Jessabelle]

Lovely update! Just as everyone else has said, I like the reasoning behind Albus' refusal to stay the night with Minerva and I like that he is making Minerva think and aknowledge what her words and feelings mean; mainly her jeaslousy. Please post again as soo as possible!
- Jess