Amor Vincit Omnia?

[dianahawthorne]

Amor Vincit Omnia?

Chapter One: Loneliness

“Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate.” Germaine Greer.
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Disclaimer: Don't own HP. This story is a response to tabbyphoenix's challenge on the AD/MM boards, though it's tweaked a bit.
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Does he see me as anything more than his second-in-command, his most loyal follower? she wondered, allowing a tear to slip down her face in a brief moment of weakness. Does he know how much I love him? she asked herself, more tears slipping down her face. As she allowed herself a rare indulgence in showing her emotion, a knock sounded at her door, and the man of her thoughts entered.

“What’s wrong, Minerva?” Albus asked, kneeling beside her.

“Nothing,” she mumbled, pulling a tartan handkerchief out of her sleeve and wiped away her tears.

“I know something’s wrong,” Albus pressed her. “What is it?”

“I don’t want to discuss it, Albus,” she said firmly, hoping this would stop him from pressing. It did not.

“You know that you can tell me anything, Minerva,” Albus said in what was meant to be a soothing voice. It served only to irritate Minerva further.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Minerva ground out from between clenched teeth.

“Don’t lie to me, Minerva – lie to anyone else, but not to me,” he said, and was cut off as her self-restraint vanished.

“I love you, Albus! That’s what’s wrong – I love you, I love you, I love you!” she yelled. She clapped her hands over her mouth when she realised what she said. She backed away from him, horrified, eyes wide and fearful.

“Minerva!” he exclaimed, his voice full of surprise. He stood up and stepped away from her towards the door. She couldn’t bear to see him like this, so uncomfortable, and it was even worse because she had made him uneasy. She did the only thing she could do – she turned around and fled into her bedroom. He did not follow her.


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After her accidental confession, Albus began avoiding her – he stopped spending time with her, sent her on an increased amount of surveillance missions for the Order, and stopped talking to her at breakfast.

She did not go out of her way to spend time with him either: she was too embarrassed. So she took her assignments without complaint, busied herself with her work, and kept more to herself than ever before.

But night after night, whether she was on a surveillance mission for the Order or lying awake in her cold, lonely bed, she regretted telling Albus that she loved him. He obviously did not return her feelings, and her worst fears about telling him had come true: he was no longer comfortable in her company, and she had lost his friendship.

She did not know what to do – she could not bear seeing him every day and know that she made him too uncomfortable to allow himself to be caught alone with her. Every long, lonely night these thoughts ran through her head, and one night, while she was on guard duty in her Animagus form outside of Knockturn Alley, she allowed herself to be sidetracked by her thoughts. In her moment of distraction, a cloaked figure grabbed her and Apparated away with her.

She fought violently with her captor, but she was gripped too tightly to do any serious damage. When they arrived at their destination, she was bound in heavy manacles, enchanted to prevent her from using magic or transforming into her Animagus form, not to mention preventing her from escaping. After being shackled in her manacles, she was brought before Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

“Well, well, well; it seems that Dumbledore hasn’t been taking very good care of his pet,” Voldemort sneered. “He normally keeps you closer to home,” he told her, his eyes flicking over to catch Bellatrix’s gaze. Minerva, ever-perceptive, noticed the exchange, and noted the slight flush of colour in Bellatrix’s cheeks. “What is Dumbledore up to?” he asked Minerva.

She did not answer, but looked down at the ground.

“Answer me!” Voldemort shrieked, casting the Cruciatus curse on Minerva. She dropped to the floor, writhing in agony, though she refused to scream.

He cast the curse again and again, and despite the power behind the curse, she refused to scream in pain. He finally gave up, releasing the spell, and had Bellatrix bring Minerva to her cell.

“You are in love with him, aren’t you?” Minerva asked Bellatrix quietly as she was locked in her cell. Bella stopped in the process of locking the cell and stared at Minerva.

“I know how exactly how you feel,” Minerva continued.

“No, you don’t,” Bella snapped. “How on earth could you know how I feel?”

“Because I am in love with Albus,” Minerva admitted quietly.

Bella finished locking the cell and Conjured up a chair, sitting outside of the cell.

“How long?” Bella asked.

“I can’t even remember when I first fell in love with him,” she said. “It’s been so long, so long, that I’ve been in love with him. How long have you been in love with... with him?” Minerva asked her.

“Twenty years – I joined him because I was in love with him,” Bella admitted.

Despite the odd situation, both women felt a kinship – they were in love with men that they knew they could never have, but loved them despite that.

They could here footsteps approaching her cell, and Bellatrix leapt up, Banishing her Conjured chair. The door flew open and Lord Voldemort entered.

“My Lord,” Bella murmured, sinking to her knees. Minerva looked down at the ground, not wanting to meet Voldemort’s eyes.

“Bella, leave us,” Voldemort said, and she nodded, quickly exiting the room. “So, Minerva,” Voldemort said once they were alone. “How is dear Albus these days?” he asked her sarcastically. She refused to look at him, and he grew angry. He forcibly entered her mind.

...I won’t let Albus down, I won’t let Albus down... He pressed further into her mind.

...Oh, Albus, Albus! Please save me...

“I know how exactly how you feel,” Minerva continued.

“No, you don’t,” Bella snapped. “How on earth could you know how I feel?”

“Because I am in love with Albus,” Minerva admitted quietly.

Bella finished locking the cell and Conjured up a chair, sitting outside of the cell.

“How long?” Bella asked.

“I can’t even remember when I first fell in love with him,” she said. “It’s been so long, so long, that I’ve been in love with him. How long have you been in love with... with him?” Minerva asked her.

“Twenty years – I joined him because I was in love with him,” Bella admitted.

Shocked, he withdrew from her mind in haste. Without a word, he exited the room to search out Bellatrix. He found her in her chambers.

“Bella,” he said, his voice kind.

“Yes, my lord?” she asked him, a bit nervous – she had never seen him like this before.

“You are in love with me?” he asked her. She nodded, averting her eyes.

“I never knew,” Voldemort replied, taking her hand. He brought it to his pale cheek, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he pushed her back against the bed and traced her figure with his eyes. “I want you, Bella,” he said in a low voice.

“Then take me, my lord,” she said quietly, excitedly. So he did.

[tabbyphoenix]

Lol, you did tweak it, didn't you? Oh, all in a 'teensy-weensy' bit, of course. Still I loved it, especially the beginning of the story (the quote fits in beautifully, can I add it to my siggy ), you've done a fine job with Minerva's confused emotions and Albus' response. I was glad you started the story immediately rather than whiling away, though, to be honest, I did not expect Voldemort to take to her so quickly ... yes, I did want a scene between the two witches (again, not expected it to be so early) but like how Minerva comforted her!
I can't wait for more, thanks a lot for the quick reply!
Looking forward to more!
Cheers!
PS- I'd love to know what the title means, sounds nice but I have never learnt any European language other than English.

[dianahawthorne]

Of course you can add the quote to your siggy! Anyway, there will definitely be more scenes between Bella and Minerva in the future. Anyway, the reason I had Voldemort take Bella so quickly is because he is a man (well, not really a man, but whatever) who knows what he wants. He's always seemed very impulsive to me.

Oh, and the title means "Love Conquers All?" It's Latin.

I'm in the process of writing the next chapter!

[tabbyphoenix]

Brilliant title (of course, I don't know Latin, but hope to learn someday). Lol, "(well, not really a man, but whatever)", that made me laugh! Yeah, I suppose that does make a lot of sense.
Thanks!

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Two: Guilt
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“Guilt is the very nerve of sorrow.” Horace Bushnell
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A/N: Thank you so much for the phenomenal response to this story! I hope that you continue to enjoy it!
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Albus arrived at the Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix, located in Lily and James Potter’s house in Godric’s Hollow, for the Order meeting. It went smoothly; James and Lily reported on their surveillance mission in Diagon Alley, Marlene McKinnon reported on the locations of several Death Eaters, Sirius Black told the Order what he had learned from observing his brother. When the meeting was dismissed, Albus returned to Hogwarts.

The next morning, Minerva was not at breakfast. He did not worry; after all, her current mission was from six the previous evening until two o’clock that morning. She had the first period free, so he thought that she would still be sleeping. But when lunch arrived and Albus was told she had not arrived at any of her morning classes, he grew concerned. He sent Poppy Pomfrey to see if she had overslept. She returned a few minutes later, an anxious expression on her face.

“She’s not there, Albus!” Poppy cried.

He leapt up from his seat and ran towards her chambers.

“Julius Caesar,” he said to the portrait of Godric Gryffindor, and the portrait swung open.

Albus entered his Deputy’s rooms, immediately noticing that everything was just as it should be. He saw her chessboard sitting on the table by the fire, two armchairs pulled up to it. Walking over to it, he realised that she still had the last game they played set up on the board. Shaking his head, he moved further into her chambers, entering her bedroom. Her bed had not been slept in, and, seeing that, he began to panic. Running out to the hall, he asked her portrait’s guardian if she had returned last night.

“No, she did not,” the portrait of Godric Gryffindor replied. “She left at about five-thirty in the afternoon yesterday, and has not returned since.”

Albus ran back to his office and Owled all of the members of the Order of the Phoenix, asking them if they had seen Minerva. Within a few hours, he had gotten responses from all of them, all replying in the negative. Despite his concerns, he did not call an emergency meeting of the Order yet. After all, she might be all right... but he knew that something was wrong. He was deluding himself, and he knew it, but he tried to believe that she was safe all the same.

He sat down at his desk and cradled his head in his hands. Oh, Minerva, he thought, where are you?


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Little did he know that she was imprisoned in a cold, dank cell in the aging Riddle Manor in Little Hangleton. She was alone, chained to the wall, and she was thinking about the relationship between Voldemort and Bellatrix. The way Voldemort had reacted, the way he had pulled out of her mind like that after coming across the memory of her talk with Bellatrix, had told her that he was in love with her as well, despite the fact that she had thought him incapable of love.

She was jealous of Bellatrix, something that she never thought she would feel. She was jealous because the man that Bellatrix was in love with returned her love. She had always thought that Albus was better than Voldemort, but it seemed that Voldemort was capable of love, while Albus was not; or, if he was capable of love, he was not capable of loving her.


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Bellatrix was lying in her lover’s arms, and she sighed in happiness.

“What are you thinking, Bella?” he asked, stroking her hair.

“How lucky I am; how lucky we are,” she replied.

“We are,” he replied. “Bella,” he continued, “Minerva told you that she was in love with Dumbledore?” he asked. She nodded. “She is jealous of us, is she not?” he questioned. Bella nodded again.

“I feel sorry for her,” Bella confessed. “I don’t mean to sound as though I’m questioning your judgement, my lord, but can we not move her to a more comfortable cell?” Bellatrix had felt pity for Minerva, despite herself, and she did not want her to suffer any more than she had to.

“No, Bella,” Voldemort said firmly. “She will never give us the information we need if we coddle her.”

“I’m sorry, my lord,” she apologised.

“It’s all right, Bella,” he said, before sitting up and leaving the bed. “I’m going to see if she is more cooperative with us now,” he said, getting dressed. “Stay here; I’ll be back shortly.”

She nodded and watched as he left the room.


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“Are you ready to talk?” he asked Minerva as he strode into the room. He, too, felt a stab of pity for her as he looked at her, huddled in a corner of the cell, but that feeling vanished when she shook her head in defiance to his question.

“Crucio!” he cried, and she collapsed in pain. “Crucio! Crucio! Crucio!”

She finally broke, screaming in pain, as he continued to cast the Cruciatus curse. While he cast the curse, he forcibly entered her mind again.

It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts

Oh, Albus, I’ve let you down; I’m sorry, so sorry

Let me die! Oh, please, just let me die!

He plunged deeper into her thoughts, dismissing the ones on the surface of her mind. He found a memory of an Order meeting, and committed its members to his memory: Albus Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore, Marlene McKinnon, James Potter, Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Gideon Prewitt, Fabian Prewitt, Dorcas Meadows, Frank Longbottom, Alice Longbottom, Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn, Edgar Bones, Mad-Eye Moody, Elphius Doge, and Dedalus Diggle; before releasing the spell and gliding out of the room.

She collapsed, quivering, when he released the spell and left the room. She had failed Albus; she had not been able to maintain her Occlumency shields, she had let Voldemort see the members of the Order. She had failed them all, but she had failed Albus first and foremost. He had trusted her, but she had failed him – she had failed the man she loved...


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She did not know that at the same moment, he was thinking the exact same thoughts. He was feeling so guilty, so incredibly sorrowful and guilty – it was his fault that she was not here, it was all his fault. He had been the one to force her to go on more missions for the Order, because he could not bear to be in the same room with her after she had confessed her love. He loved her, too, but he could not act on it – he could not take her life away from her, when he knew that she could be happier with someone else, someone who would not have to keep their relationship a secret – one of the Prewitts, for instance. It was so dangerous, too dangerous – he could not put her in any more risk by having her be his lover, even though they would have to be secretive. But secrets always come out, and he could not risk her life to satisfy his own desires.

But it seemed that her already close association with him had gotten her into danger after all – how could he get her back? How could he make his mistakes up to her? And how could he live with himself if she was injured in any way?

He couldn’t.

[tabbyphoenix]

Wow, I loved it... I'm so glad Albus returns her feelings!

[tabbyphoenix]

Umm, yes, I'd forgotten that... *broods*

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Three: Regret
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“The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.” Helen Rowland
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Voldemort had nothing more to gain from Minerva, but he kept her in her cell all the same. He was not entirely cruel to her, at Bella’s insistence, so he no longer tortured her. But he was not kind to her either – she was not given blankets or proper meals – he did allow her a bit of bread and some water every day – that was what the prisoners were served in Azkaban, and he certainly was not going to treat her better than them.

He did not know, however, that Bellatrix visited Minerva a few times a week, bringing with her some decent food. Bella also cast Warming charms on her cell to make Minerva more comfortable. Minerva was very grateful for Bella’s kindness.

Despite Bellatrix’s kindness, Minerva had become almost unrecognisable, both physically and emotionally. Her hair was loose and straggly; she was gaunt and even more pale than usual. Despite her physical change, the real change was in her personality – she had withdrawn into herself and refused to speak to anyone.


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Albus had called an emergency meeting of the Order the day after she had disappeared. Many members of the Order were angry that Albus had not alerted them when it became apparent that she was missing. Despite their anger, they all tried to find her, but were unsuccessful.


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After three weeks, Bella finally persuaded Voldemort to release Minerva. Her pleas were bolstered by the fact that Minerva now had horrible nightmares, causing her to scream in her sleep, disturbing the residents of the Riddle Manor in the middle of the night.

He had a few of his Death Eaters deposit her outside of the Hogwarts gates in the middle of the night. He kept her wand, however, for future use.


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She was found by Hagrid in a heap just inside of the Hogwarts gates – she had collapsed while trying to reach the castle. When Hagrid found her, he picked her up and ran to the castle, bringing her up to the Hospital Wing immediately.

Poppy told Hagrid to lay her on the bed in the faculty section of the Hospital Wing, and then told him to fetch Albus to let him know that Minerva had been found. Hagrid found Albus sitting in his office, head in his hands. Albus was regretting denying his feelings for Minerva, regretting sending her on so many missions in order not to see her and be tortured by thoughts of what could have been, what might be, what should be. If he had not denied his feelings, had not rejected her, she would not be gone, she would be safe in his arms, in his heart, in his bed. But no, he denied her, he had rejected her – it was the worst mistake of his life.

“Perfesser Dumbledore, they’ve found Perfesser McGonagall!” Hagrid exclaimed, bursting into the Headmaster’s office. Albus jumped out of his chair and ran down the stairs of his office, headed to the Hospital Wing. When he finally reached the Hospital Wing, Poppy refused to let him see her. Rebuffed, he returned to his office and sent Owls out to every member of the Order, telling them that Minerva had been found.

Poppy did a thorough examination of Minerva before reviving her. She gave her several potions – nutrient potions, vitamin potions, and an anti-Cruciatus potion; before making her eat some food. Minerva was FAR too skinny and undernourished.

Even when Poppy was forcing Minerva to drink the potions, which she despised, she did not put up a fight; in fact, she had not talked at all during the entire examination. Her eyes seemed lifeless, expressionless, hollow; she did not even look Poppy in the eye – Poppy, who was one of her oldest and most trusted friends – but looked down at the floor.

When Poppy had finished her examination, she gave Minerva a Dreamless Sleep potion, which she took without any trouble. When Minerva had drifted off, Poppy left the Hospital Wing to let Albus know the results of her examination of Minerva. She had thought that he would be waiting for her in her office, but he was not there.

She could not leave Minerva, so she Flooed Albus’s office. He was not there. She pulled her head out of the fireplace and wrote a note to Albus, requesting that he come to the hospital wing. Summoning her house-elf, she handed him the note and asked him to deliver the note to Albus. With that out of the way, she Conjured up a comfortable chair at Minerva’s bedside and settled in to wait for Albus’s arrival.

He came several hours later, and Poppy had fallen asleep waiting for him. He gently shook her shoulder, rousing her from her slumber.

“Where have you been, Albus?” she whispered, furious.

“I’ve been meeting with the Order,” Albus replied, an answer that abated her fury. She led him into her office, where she closed the door so they could speak without disturbing Minerva.

“What happened to her?” Albus asked.

“She has been subjected to the Cruciatus curse a number of times; she has also been starved for several weeks,” Poppy told him.

“When can I speak to her?” Albus asked.

“When she wakes up in a few hours,” Poppy said, “But be gentle. She has suffered a lot.”


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A few hours later, as promised, Minerva woke up. Albus was at her side, and he was the first thing she saw when she woke up. She did not say anything, but looked away from him, tears in her eyes.

“What happened, Minerva?” he asked her gently. “Where were you taken?”

She did not reply, but looked down at her hands, letting tears drop down upon them. He placed his hand on top of hers, and she flinched at his touch. He withdrew his hand, injured at her reaction to his touch.

“What happened, Minerva?” he asked again, albeit more coldly. “What happened?”

She refused to answer him, averting her face and closing her eyes. Tears slipped out from beneath her closed eyelids.

“What happened, Minerva?” he asked her again, desperately. She shook her head, bursting into sobs. She turned over; burying her face in her pillow, and her body shook as sobs racked her delicate frame. He wanted to comfort her, and indeed he reached out a hand to smooth her hair, but withdrew it, remembering how she had flinched from his touch.

He extended his hand again, this time placing it gently on her hair, and she turned over, looking up at him. She closed her eyes again, this time leaning in to his touch. She was able to forget the pain of the past few weeks and enjoy the sensation of Albus’s touch. His touches grew bolder as she leaned in to his hand, and he moved his hand from her hair to her cheek. He got out of his seat and sat on the edge of her bed, continuing to caress her cheek.

She placed her hand on top of his, holding his hand against her cheek, and looked up at him with hollow eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Albus,” she whispered, barely audible. “I failed you,” she continued. “I failed you and I failed the Order.”

“What do you mean, Minerva?” Albus asked her.

“He knows who is in the Order,” she replied in a whisper. “I wasn’t able to keep up my Occlumency shields while he cast the Cruciatus on me, and he was able to find a memory of an Order meeting. I’m so sorry, Albus!” she sobbed.

“Oh, Minerva,” he whispered, taking her into his arms. “I’m so sorry – it’s all my fault.” He tightened his embrace, and she burrowed her face in his beard. He felt her breathing grow steadier, and he laid her back against the pillows on her bed, pulling the blankets up over her. He sat down in his chair again and held her hand, kissing the back of it, before he left the Hospital Wing, returning to his office.

[tabbyphoenix]

YAY! Finally, the old coot admits, lol! Loved the chappie and can't wait for more! Poor Minerva, *sniffles* ... hope the ending is happy...
Cheers!

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Four: Confession


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“Faith is confirmed by the heart, confessed by the tongue, and acted upon by the body.” – Unknown


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Albus had fled to his office from the Hospital Wing after Minerva had fallen asleep in his arms – he needed to think about what he would do next. He loved her so much, and he wanted to help her, and it seemed that he could help her if he told her that he loved her. She was worried that she had failed him, and he knew that she would feel guilty about that if he did not alleviate her guilt. She did not fail him; he had failed her. It was his fault – it was his fault that she had been on that mission, because he could not bear to be in the same room with her after she had confessed her love for him but he had denied his love for her. It was his fault – it was all his fault – and he needed her to know that. He needed for her not to blame herself – he loved her so, and he had already caused her so much pain – he could not cause her any more pain.

As soon as he had decided to confess his love for her, he returned to the Hospital Wing. Briefly checking in on Minerva, he made sure that she was still asleep, before continuing on to Poppy’s office.

“Poppy,” he said as soon as he had closed the door and sat down.

“Yes, Albus?” she asked.

“Can Minerva be released when she wakes up?” he asked her.

“I suppose...” she began. “As long as she’s under constant supervision.”

“I’d like you to release her this afternoon, Poppy,” he said. “I can take care of her – I need to take care of her...” he trailed off.

Poppy was filled with sympathy for the man sitting in front of her. “All right, Albus,” she agreed. “But I want her to stay in the castle, and I want to check up on her every day.”

“Thank you, Poppy,” he said, full of gratitude. He left her office and sat down at Minerva’s bedside, taking her hand in his. A few minutes later, she woke up.

“Minerva, dear,” Albus said, stroking her hair. “Poppy’s said that you can be released as long as you stay with me. Is that all right?” he asked her.

“I don’t want to burden you, Albus – I’ve already failed you; I can't allow myself to be a burden to you as well,” Minerva replied quietly.

“You have not failed me, Minerva; and you have never – will never – been a burden. But we need to talk, and the talk that we must have is best done in the privacy of my rooms.”

She nodded. “All right, Albus,” she whispered.

He smiled, and helped her out of bed, Conjuring up a pair of slippers for her. They walked the empty hallways in silence; not the comfortable silence they had been accustomed to, borne out of many years of companionship, but an uncomfortable silence full of unresolved tension.

When they reached his office, he led her up to his private chambers. When they reached the sitting room, he indicated that she should seat herself in an armchair by the fire. She seated herself, and he knelt at her feet, holding her hands in his.

“Minerva, I have a confession to make,” he began. “I am in love with you.”

She pulled her hands out of his. “Don’t torture me like this, Albus, please,” she begged him. “I know that I have failed you, and I can take any torture, any punishment, but this. Please, please, anything but this.”

“Minerva, I am telling the truth,” he said, taking her hands again. “When you confessed your love to me, I could not allow myself to accept it – I could not take your life away from you, when I thought that you could be happier with someone else, someone who would not have to keep his relationship with you a secret. I thought that it was too dangerous to allow myself to accept your love – we would have to keep our love a secret, and will have to keep our love a secret, and secrets come out eventually. I could not allow myself to risk your life if I accepted your love. But I have risked your life by denying the love that I hold for you, and I will no longer deny my feelings.”

Tears filled her eyes, spilling over onto their joined hands. “Do you mean that, Albus?” she whispered.

“I do, with all my heart,” he replied, kissing the away the tears that had landed on the back of her hands.

“Albus,” she whispered, slipping out of her chair and onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Albus, I love you so much.”

“And I love you, Minerva; I love you with my entire heart, mind, soul, body – all that I am, is because you have made me such.”

She smiled, the first smile since her release from Voldemort’s prison, and brought her lips to his.

“Oh, Albus,” she whispered against his lips. “I love you.”

He tangled his hands in dark hair, grateful that it was down so that he could run the soft, silken locks through his fingers, and kissed her lips repeatedly. As he kissed her, he urged her to lie down on the rug in front of the fire. He ran his hands down her body, caressing her breasts, kissing her neck, feeling her breathing and her pulse increase in speed.

“Oh, Albus...” she whispered, half sitting up and running her hands along his chest, opening his robe. She gasped as he began to open her robes as well, baring her skin to the air and his eyes. Finally opening his robe all the way, she sighed in pleasure as he finished opening her robe as well and touched her bare skin for the first time. “Albus...”

“Minerva, Minerva, I love you,” he said, kissing her lips, her jaw, her throat, her collarbone; trailing kisses down her body as he pushed her robe away from her skin.

“I love you, Albus,” she whispered, twining her hands in his silky hair. “Please, please, make us one, at last, at long, long last.”

He nodded, and obeyed her command, finally joining them, making them one; body, heart, and soul.

[tabbyphoenix]

I agree with you, FINALLY, they're together, it was very well written, especially the part where MM is guilty ... but Voldy???
Update soon!
Cheers!

[dianahawthorne]

Chapter Five: Hell


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A/N: The last chapter of the story. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed - I really appreciate all the support - thank you, thank you, thank you!


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“Each of us bears his own Hell.” – Virgil


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When Albus and Minerva woke up the next morning, lying naked in each other’s arms, she looked at him, afraid that he would regret their night together. She did not need to be afraid, however, because he smiled at her, kissing her on his lips and pulling her closer to him.

“Good morning, Minerva, darling,” Albus said in between kisses. “Good morning, my dearest, dearest love,” he continued, trailing kisses down her neck.

“Good morning, Albus,” she replied, returning his kisses. They did not leave the bed for some time after that.

Later that morning, when they finally left the bed, there was an urgent owl waiting for Albus from Alastor at his desk.

“Marlene McKinnon, Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn, Gideon and Fabian Prewitt are dead as a result of a Death Eater attack. They were able to kill twelve Death Eaters before they too died.”

“Oh, no,” Minerva cried, collapsing at his feet. “Oh, no – it’s all my fault – all my fault,” she sobbed.

“No it’s not, Minerva – it’s not,” he comforted her. “It’s not,” he stroked her hair, kissing her forehead.

“Yes it is – if I had been able to keep up my Occlumency shields, then they would not be dead! I will always have their blood on my hands!” she cried out, her heart breaking.

“I need to go, Minerva,” he said. “I need to see what I can do to help. Stay here, my dear, I’ll be back.” He kissed her lightly before striding out the door to Apparate away.

Minerva sat where he had left her, sobbing. Slowly, deliberately, she stood up and took the letter opener from her lover’s desk and slit her wrists, collapsing as she grew light-headed from loss of blood.


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Voldemort was in bed with Bella, celebrating their victory over five of the most important members of the Order. In addition, he had made Peter Pettigrew a Death Eater. Bella had recruited him, and now they had a spy within the Order of the Phoenix. Voldemort’s plans were going just the way he wanted.

Bella was rewarded for her effective attacks against the members of the Order by Voldemort – he was more caring and tender with her than he ever had been; for once, he put her pleasure before his. And they both celebrated the deaths of the Order members.


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Albus and Alastor had notified the families of those killed: the Prewitts, the Dearborns, the Fenwicks, and the McKinnons. They spent several hours comforting the bereaved families, and after they had left them, they sat down to decide what to do next.

“He knows all the members now, Alastor,” Albus said. “What are we to do?”

“I don’t know,” Alastor admitted.

Sighing, Albus Apparated back to Hogwarts, and he made his way back to his office to send some Owls. When he entered, he saw a pool of blood on the floor, Minerva crumpled in a pile in the middle of the sea of blood.

“Minerva!” he cried, rushing to her side. She was barely breathing, her pulse was incredibly faint, and she was pale. He ran to the fireplace, tossing some Floo powder into the fireplace. “Poppy Pomfrey!” he shouted, and she appeared in the flame. “Poppy!” he cried frantically as she stepped out of the hearth. “It’s Minerva – she’s hurt herself – quick!” he ran back to Minerva’s side, holding her hand as Poppy quickly got to work, healing the cuts on Minerva’s wrists before forcing Blood-Replenishing potions down her throat. Slowly her pulse grew stronger, her breathing returned to normal, the colour came back into her cheeks, and she woke up.

“Minerva!” he sobbed, tears falling in her hair. “Oh, God, Minerva – why did you do this?” he asked her.

“Albus?” she asked faintly.

“Oh, my darling, my darling,” he cried, kissing her forehead, her hair, her lips. “Never, never, never, never do this to me again,” he begged her.

“But I don’t deserve to live,” she sobbed. “I don’t – it’s all my fault – it’s my fault that they are dead!” She collapsed in his arms, still crying. “Albus, I will never forgive myself,” she said from between her tears. “Never.”


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The months passed, and Minerva was always by Albus’s side. He refused to let her out of his sight – he did not want her to do anything to herself again. She was a shadow of herself. The death of the Potters’ caused her to retreat even further behind her walls. The fact that one of her favourite former students, Sirius Black, had betrayed them and then killed Peter Pettigrew, one of his best friends, broke her heart, as did Albus’s decision to leave Harry Potter with his awful Muggle relatives.

She withdrew even further into herself when the Longbottoms were tortured into insanity by the Lestranges, and she attended their trial. Bella and Minerva stared at each other throughout the entire trial, Minerva’s gaze a mixture of pity and disgust – pity because Bella had been kind to her during her imprisonment in Voldemort’s manor, and disgust at the depraved acts Bella had committed.


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When Voldemort had fallen, Bella became reckless, sloppy, made careless mistakes. That was how she allowed herself to get caught. She could not bear being in the world without Voldemort, and if she was sent to Azkaban, well, at least she could bide her time waiting for him to return.

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She would never be the same again, would never stop feeling guilty – nor would Albus ever see her in the same way. He now knew her to be more vulnerable, more easily injured than she appeared to be. He was more caring towards her, more considerate of her feelings, because he now knew how easily she was affected.

She had changed for good, never to return to the way she was. And every day she relived her mistakes, the mistakes that had gotten Marlene McKinnon, Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn, Gideon and Fabian Prewitt killed. Albus never stopped trying to persuade her that she was not guilty, that it was not her fault that they died, but he never fully convinced her of her innocence, because she knew that it was her fault. She never forgot that she had their blood on her hands, and she never stopped feeling guilty for causing their deaths.
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The End

[tabbyphoenix]

BRILLIANT! Wow, this was my favourite chapter by far, it ties in perfectly with JK's version of HP, and yet has its originality! I liked the Minerva-slitting-wrists part, it was a nice ... addition to the storyline, overall, I really like this fic.
Cheers!
PS-Wonderous banner there ...

[mercifulheavens]

Goodness, you made me cry. Wonderful story...Albus was so caring, despite the fact he left her, crying on the floor...but then again he had to go. I'll say it again, this story was wonderful.

mercifulheavens

[goldencat]

Well, it's quite hard to blink back the tears.
Wonderful story, although it's sad.