Post by nemi on Apr 21, 2006 10:20:07 GMT -5
This came as a fleeting inspiration when browsing through the “30minutefics” community on livejournal. I saw the “Angry Voices” challenge and this popped into my head and wouldn’t go away… I shouldn’t be writing this, I should be writing my other fics, but I wanted a change and it wouldn’t leave me alone till I wrote it.
I know it’s only short, but… Enjoy!
Title: (You and Your) Sneaky Ways
Rating: PG
Summary: Albus and Minerva are having an argument about chess. Harry, Ron and Hermione overhear, get the wrong end of the stick, and find it very amusing… But how can some teasing on the part of three mischievous pupils lead to love?
---
Minerva McGonagall stood up straight, shaking with fury, picked up the chessboard and threw it so hard across her office that it crashed into the wall and broke into thousands of tiny pieces, despite being made of recently carved wood. It also narrowly missed Albus Dumbledore’s head.
‘Minerva!’ Albus exclaimed, mocking hurt. ‘You nearly scarred me for life!’
‘I don’t care!’ Minerva screamed. ‘I’m absolutely sick of this! For the past three weeks now you’ve been using unacceptable tactics! I’ve had enough! It’s not a battle, Albus, it’s not designed to hurt anyone! It’s supposed to be enjoyable and you and your sneaky ways are spoiling it!’
‘But I only wanted to feel in control for once,’ Albus protested. ‘I just wanted to win at least once.’
‘You shouldn’t do it in that way!’ Minerva shouted, although she seemed to be calming down a little. ‘That’s cheating!’
‘But I didn’t know how otherwise,’ Albus complained. ‘I’m not as experienced as you are.’
‘Well then practise, Albus!’ Minerva said exasperatedly.
Albus shook his head. ‘No, my dear, I only like playing with you. It’d spoil it otherwise.’
‘Oh, Albus, don’t be silly. I’m not that exciting.’
‘Everyone else will provide nothing but absolute boredom then,’ Albus stated smugly. ‘Can’t you just teach me?’
‘That’d defeat the object! I’d never be able to surprise you! Go and find a book about it!’
‘I never thought to buy one,’ Albus said regretfully. ‘I didn’t know you’d be so good. And they don’t have that sort of book in the library. Madam Pince doesn’t think anyone would read it. She’d tell all the staff if I asked her to order it.’
‘Then go to Flourish and Blotts, Albus!’ Minerva exclaimed. ‘Surely you have enough time on your hands?’
‘I’d look like a fool,’ he moaned. ‘Everyone would think, He’s such a birdbrain he has to buy books about that sort of thing! Or, maybe even, The Headmaster of Hogwarts, with all those titles, buying that sort of book? I’d never live it down.’
‘Albus,’ Minerva said severely. ‘No one knows everything.’
‘But they think I do!’ Albus insisted. ‘Imagine the snide comments!’
Minerva sighed. ‘Let’s just forget about it, Albus, and go to lunch. It’s a nice day outside, we can go and take a stroll around the grounds after we’ve eaten. Let’s not spoil the Easter holidays. The way we’re going, we’d probably end up sending each other “to Coventry”, as the students say.’
‘That would never do,’ Albus agreed. ‘I’d die of boredom if I couldn’t speak to you for a week.’
‘Come on then, let us put that behind us and start anew tonight,’ Minerva smiled, and they linked arms.
---
‘I think I’m gonna throw up,’ Ron Weasley mumbled, turning away.
‘Oh, Ronald!’ Hermione moaned, a faint blush on her cheeks. ‘Everyone does it.’
‘Yeah, Ronald,’ Harry teased, ‘you and Hermione will be practising soon enough! Goodness knows you’ve argued for too long, you need to catch up. I think Ginny have shot ahead since she turned sixteen.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with me and Hermione,’ Ron said weakly, flashing what he hoped was a reassuring smile at his girlfriend. ‘But Dumbledore and McGonagall?’ He slid down the wall buried his head in his hands, only looking up to add, ‘And Harry, you are using condoms, right?’
Harry snorted and covered his mouth. ‘Well, duh, Ron,’ he laughed. ‘I’m not that stupid. Don’t start the protective thing again. I love Ginny. I won’t hurt her.’
‘Good,’ Ron said quietly. ‘But I don’t have the energy to start the protective thing. I feel sick.’
‘Ron!’ Hermione chided. ‘Professors have lives, you know.’
‘Yeah, and wrinkles,’ Ron muttered. ‘What’s the point? She probably went through the menopause years ago.’
Hermione shook her head. ‘No, Ronald,’ she contradicted. ‘Witches don’t go through menopause until they’re about one hundred and twenty.’
Ron groaned and Harry stifled a guffaw. ‘Oh, Hermione, he’s going to be haunted by the images of that. Then again, it means you can have more children, doesn’t it, Ron?’ Harry said teasingly, nudging his best friend with his foot.
‘Harry, you’re missing the point,’ Ron whined. ‘It’s Dumbledore and McGonagall, I mean, seriously! They’re old!’
Harry shrugged. ‘Dumbledore’s always acted like a child. And besides, for a witch, McGonagall’s only middle-aged. At least we can be certain she has a soft side.’
‘I’d feel better knowing she was always as strict as in lessons,’ Ron remarked.
‘And Ronald,’ Hermione said thoughtfully, ‘Professor McGonagall wears a bun in class. It makes you appear older. She probably looks a lot younger in real life. And she wears loose robes, doesn’t – ’
Harry burst into laughter just as Ron roared, ‘DAMMIT, HERMIONE, SHUT UP BEFORE YOU SCAR ME FOR LIFE!’
The door of Professor McGonagall’s office opened and the headmaster and deputy headmistress stepped out, looking confused. Harry stifled more laughter, Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth and turned bright red, and Ron looked away, his face a sickly pale colour.’
‘Mr Potter! And Miss Granger, and Mr Weasley!’ Professor McGonagall exclaimed. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘We were just passing, Professor,’ Hermione mumbled shamefully.
‘And what, do tell, is so funny?’ Professor McGonagall demanded.
Harry grinned. ‘Is the headmaster a disobedient pupil, Professor?’ he asked daringly.
‘…Disobedient pupil?’ Dumbledore repeated slowly.
‘Yes, Professor,’ Harry smirked. ‘You and your sneaky ways. But we didn’t think you’d have to be taught, we thought you’d be the one doing the teaching!’
Professor McGonagall’s mouth dropped open and her cheeks flushed bright red, and she tried to stammer something but couldn’t get it out.
Dumbledore looked more flustered than Harry had ever seen him, but managed to half-say, half-cough, ‘You three had better be outside, it’s such a lovely day. Perhaps you could get some lunch from the dining hall and take it into the grounds…’
Ron didn’t need to be told twice. He stood up and covered the length of the corridor as fast as one could when staggering with shock. He was followed by an extremely embarrassed Hermione and a still laughing Harry.
‘Albus,’ Minerva whispered when they’d gone. ‘They thought we were having sex.’
‘Mmm,’ Albus replied distractedly. ‘What they assumed is much more preferable,’ he muttered.
‘What was that?’ Minerva asked.
‘Oh, nothing,’ Albus said quickly, pulling a lemon drop out of his pocket. ‘Would you like – ’
‘No thank you,’ Minerva interrupted, pushing his hand down before he could finish. ‘What did you say?’
‘I said,’ Albus said slowly, ‘that what they assumed is much more preferable.’
Minerva was astounded. ‘…What?’
‘Minerva…’ Albus trailed off, before turning to look at her apprehensively. ‘I love you,’ he said quietly. ‘I didn’t want to tell you in case it ruined everything. I’ve loved you for fifty years, since you stormed into my classroom for that first lesson, ten minutes late, but I didn’t think you’d ever…’
‘Albus, shut up,’ she interjected. ‘I love you too. You don’t know how much and how long I’ve wanted you to say that you love me in return.’
They stared at each other for a moment, before engaging in a soft, gentle kiss. No one in particular started it, it just happened. It gradually became more passionate before they finally pulled away for air.
‘Shall we give lunch a miss?’ Minerva whispered.
‘Yes,’ Albus replied right away. ‘Let’s go somewhere more private… somewhere that Mr Potter and his friends can be proved right.’
I know it’s only short, but… Enjoy!
Title: (You and Your) Sneaky Ways
Rating: PG
Summary: Albus and Minerva are having an argument about chess. Harry, Ron and Hermione overhear, get the wrong end of the stick, and find it very amusing… But how can some teasing on the part of three mischievous pupils lead to love?
---
Minerva McGonagall stood up straight, shaking with fury, picked up the chessboard and threw it so hard across her office that it crashed into the wall and broke into thousands of tiny pieces, despite being made of recently carved wood. It also narrowly missed Albus Dumbledore’s head.
‘Minerva!’ Albus exclaimed, mocking hurt. ‘You nearly scarred me for life!’
‘I don’t care!’ Minerva screamed. ‘I’m absolutely sick of this! For the past three weeks now you’ve been using unacceptable tactics! I’ve had enough! It’s not a battle, Albus, it’s not designed to hurt anyone! It’s supposed to be enjoyable and you and your sneaky ways are spoiling it!’
‘But I only wanted to feel in control for once,’ Albus protested. ‘I just wanted to win at least once.’
‘You shouldn’t do it in that way!’ Minerva shouted, although she seemed to be calming down a little. ‘That’s cheating!’
‘But I didn’t know how otherwise,’ Albus complained. ‘I’m not as experienced as you are.’
‘Well then practise, Albus!’ Minerva said exasperatedly.
Albus shook his head. ‘No, my dear, I only like playing with you. It’d spoil it otherwise.’
‘Oh, Albus, don’t be silly. I’m not that exciting.’
‘Everyone else will provide nothing but absolute boredom then,’ Albus stated smugly. ‘Can’t you just teach me?’
‘That’d defeat the object! I’d never be able to surprise you! Go and find a book about it!’
‘I never thought to buy one,’ Albus said regretfully. ‘I didn’t know you’d be so good. And they don’t have that sort of book in the library. Madam Pince doesn’t think anyone would read it. She’d tell all the staff if I asked her to order it.’
‘Then go to Flourish and Blotts, Albus!’ Minerva exclaimed. ‘Surely you have enough time on your hands?’
‘I’d look like a fool,’ he moaned. ‘Everyone would think, He’s such a birdbrain he has to buy books about that sort of thing! Or, maybe even, The Headmaster of Hogwarts, with all those titles, buying that sort of book? I’d never live it down.’
‘Albus,’ Minerva said severely. ‘No one knows everything.’
‘But they think I do!’ Albus insisted. ‘Imagine the snide comments!’
Minerva sighed. ‘Let’s just forget about it, Albus, and go to lunch. It’s a nice day outside, we can go and take a stroll around the grounds after we’ve eaten. Let’s not spoil the Easter holidays. The way we’re going, we’d probably end up sending each other “to Coventry”, as the students say.’
‘That would never do,’ Albus agreed. ‘I’d die of boredom if I couldn’t speak to you for a week.’
‘Come on then, let us put that behind us and start anew tonight,’ Minerva smiled, and they linked arms.
---
‘I think I’m gonna throw up,’ Ron Weasley mumbled, turning away.
‘Oh, Ronald!’ Hermione moaned, a faint blush on her cheeks. ‘Everyone does it.’
‘Yeah, Ronald,’ Harry teased, ‘you and Hermione will be practising soon enough! Goodness knows you’ve argued for too long, you need to catch up. I think Ginny have shot ahead since she turned sixteen.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with me and Hermione,’ Ron said weakly, flashing what he hoped was a reassuring smile at his girlfriend. ‘But Dumbledore and McGonagall?’ He slid down the wall buried his head in his hands, only looking up to add, ‘And Harry, you are using condoms, right?’
Harry snorted and covered his mouth. ‘Well, duh, Ron,’ he laughed. ‘I’m not that stupid. Don’t start the protective thing again. I love Ginny. I won’t hurt her.’
‘Good,’ Ron said quietly. ‘But I don’t have the energy to start the protective thing. I feel sick.’
‘Ron!’ Hermione chided. ‘Professors have lives, you know.’
‘Yeah, and wrinkles,’ Ron muttered. ‘What’s the point? She probably went through the menopause years ago.’
Hermione shook her head. ‘No, Ronald,’ she contradicted. ‘Witches don’t go through menopause until they’re about one hundred and twenty.’
Ron groaned and Harry stifled a guffaw. ‘Oh, Hermione, he’s going to be haunted by the images of that. Then again, it means you can have more children, doesn’t it, Ron?’ Harry said teasingly, nudging his best friend with his foot.
‘Harry, you’re missing the point,’ Ron whined. ‘It’s Dumbledore and McGonagall, I mean, seriously! They’re old!’
Harry shrugged. ‘Dumbledore’s always acted like a child. And besides, for a witch, McGonagall’s only middle-aged. At least we can be certain she has a soft side.’
‘I’d feel better knowing she was always as strict as in lessons,’ Ron remarked.
‘And Ronald,’ Hermione said thoughtfully, ‘Professor McGonagall wears a bun in class. It makes you appear older. She probably looks a lot younger in real life. And she wears loose robes, doesn’t – ’
Harry burst into laughter just as Ron roared, ‘DAMMIT, HERMIONE, SHUT UP BEFORE YOU SCAR ME FOR LIFE!’
The door of Professor McGonagall’s office opened and the headmaster and deputy headmistress stepped out, looking confused. Harry stifled more laughter, Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth and turned bright red, and Ron looked away, his face a sickly pale colour.’
‘Mr Potter! And Miss Granger, and Mr Weasley!’ Professor McGonagall exclaimed. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘We were just passing, Professor,’ Hermione mumbled shamefully.
‘And what, do tell, is so funny?’ Professor McGonagall demanded.
Harry grinned. ‘Is the headmaster a disobedient pupil, Professor?’ he asked daringly.
‘…Disobedient pupil?’ Dumbledore repeated slowly.
‘Yes, Professor,’ Harry smirked. ‘You and your sneaky ways. But we didn’t think you’d have to be taught, we thought you’d be the one doing the teaching!’
Professor McGonagall’s mouth dropped open and her cheeks flushed bright red, and she tried to stammer something but couldn’t get it out.
Dumbledore looked more flustered than Harry had ever seen him, but managed to half-say, half-cough, ‘You three had better be outside, it’s such a lovely day. Perhaps you could get some lunch from the dining hall and take it into the grounds…’
Ron didn’t need to be told twice. He stood up and covered the length of the corridor as fast as one could when staggering with shock. He was followed by an extremely embarrassed Hermione and a still laughing Harry.
‘Albus,’ Minerva whispered when they’d gone. ‘They thought we were having sex.’
‘Mmm,’ Albus replied distractedly. ‘What they assumed is much more preferable,’ he muttered.
‘What was that?’ Minerva asked.
‘Oh, nothing,’ Albus said quickly, pulling a lemon drop out of his pocket. ‘Would you like – ’
‘No thank you,’ Minerva interrupted, pushing his hand down before he could finish. ‘What did you say?’
‘I said,’ Albus said slowly, ‘that what they assumed is much more preferable.’
Minerva was astounded. ‘…What?’
‘Minerva…’ Albus trailed off, before turning to look at her apprehensively. ‘I love you,’ he said quietly. ‘I didn’t want to tell you in case it ruined everything. I’ve loved you for fifty years, since you stormed into my classroom for that first lesson, ten minutes late, but I didn’t think you’d ever…’
‘Albus, shut up,’ she interjected. ‘I love you too. You don’t know how much and how long I’ve wanted you to say that you love me in return.’
They stared at each other for a moment, before engaging in a soft, gentle kiss. No one in particular started it, it just happened. It gradually became more passionate before they finally pulled away for air.
‘Shall we give lunch a miss?’ Minerva whispered.
‘Yes,’ Albus replied right away. ‘Let’s go somewhere more private… somewhere that Mr Potter and his friends can be proved right.’
;D 
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