Help!!

[StormAngel]

The only thing I don't get so far is: If we are teammates, does that mean you get to boss me around? My friend and I are currently teammates on a project for a competition with a friend of hers and another good friend of mine on board. The thing about doing things with her is that she keeps putting my ideas down; as though as they are not good enough. yeah, I know I may not come up with the best website layouts and stuff, but it is not necessary to tell people that your work is an (and I quote) "Epic Fail". And I find it hard to work with someone who refuses to make concrete decisions, and keeps telling me 'What do you think?'. I understand that she wants to win a prize, but the reasons that she is doing it for is disturbing me. My friend wants to get the top prizes because she could get a place in the annual Research book my school produces. And the problem with that is that I just want to do it because I could enjoy myself and stretch my coding skills to the limits.

And I find THAT hard when she refuses to entertain any of my ideas for layouts, and keeps wanting to copy previous winning entries in order to win. And my other friend (let's call her A and the other B) had a suggestion once, and though I rather enjoyed it, B didn't want to work on it because she said that it lacked global impact. But A's idea is about the different currencies and how it affects us nowadays, which I felt that there was a certain amount of 'global impact' to it. And because B has the 'design' that she wants, and since both myself and A didn't want to be leaders (since A is busy with college and I with nano), I let B be the leader; and thus, I'm getting bossed around by her.

Perhaps it's because I've always let her boss me around, but this time, she tries to do it more often, and even in emails, she complains about me wanting to call myself 'Kat' instead of 'Michelle'. Well, A knows me better as Kat, and since we met on a roleplaying forum and I'm known as Kat there, I rather have her call me Kat. And well, Kat is much shorter than Michelle. And somehow, that issue managed to crop up in msn conversations with B.

I don't get her at all. B just doesn't understand that I don't really like being bossed around anymore, and whenever I try to assert my own opinion, she comes along and for some reason, puts my opinions down. I know that in school, I'm a totally different person from who I am online, but that doesn't mean that just because I laugh a lot, I am a joker. =.= Furthermore, she complains that my coding skills and graphics design skills are not good, just because I don't do neopets pet applications. WTF?

I don't know if I can continue working with her, but since I already managed to persuade A to work with us even though she is busy with college, I feel obligated to continue. Argh. What should I do?

[Gifted]

Ugh. I feel your pain.

I have a friend just like that. She always thinks she's better than me. It's actually quite pathetic at times. We could never work together. Or at least, she thinks we can, but I know we can't. I just learned not to get involved in projects with her. Plus, she usually ends up either ditching me or the project.

But anyway, it's you we're talking about. I think you need to talk to her. Very calmly explain to her how you feel. Then listen to her side of the story. Hopefully, you two can reach an agreement.

I'm sure you will be able to finish it with your team. If not, it really depends on how you feel about your friendships with these teammates and what would happen if you dropped out or stayed in.

Good luck and I hope you find a solution! Let us know how it goes!

[greyeyedgirl]

I agree with Gifted, I think you just need to sit down and talk with your friend. Tell her how these things are bothering you and putting a real strain on your friendship, and if they can't accept that then (and I don't care how cliche this sounds) they probably aren't a good friend. If you have problems with confrontation you could always write her a letter or E-mail. No matter what you do try not to come off hostile or too angry, just stay calm and try to work it out.
I had a friend like the one your describing, so I can totally relate. I hope you work out your problem!