Post by mercifulheavens on Nov 22, 2008 4:26:40 GMT -5
A Trip to the Zoo
A class from Hogwarts is going on a field trip to a muggle zoo...with no magic much to the chagrin of their professors. Will they all make it home alive? Maybe not between Albus' driving and hot dogs.
+10
Disclaimer: I do not own HP and really neither does JKR as she ruined characters that many people greatly liked…cheers to those authors who have succeeded in not ruining their characters to get a little publicity…Tolkien, Lewis, Austen, Eliot, and the list goes on…I am rambling now so on to the story…
Chapter 1- Getting to the Zoo
The class sat in their chairs not so patiently dreading the arrival of their strict but nonetheless good professor. Enchanted quills were scribbling notes that were being passed from one silently giggling girl to the next and many students sighed and dreamily gazed off into space. Several boys were whispering about a prank that they planned on doing against an unsuspecting fellow student and more than one charmed paper airplane flew in slow circles around the room.
It was the epitome of a class of average teenagers.
A rapping on the desk in front caused most of the student body to face the front but many continued to play, talk and giggle. Those who had been fortunate enough to notice their transfiguration professor enter the classroom sat up in their chairs and were immediately silent.
“Mr. Potter, kindly remind Mr. Weasley that this is his transfiguration class not charms.” Ronald Weasley just happened to the only student left who was keeping the paper airplanes circling above the class. Professor McGonagall’s voice, which was unmistakable due to its Scottish lilt, caused the remaining class members to be silent.
Harry leaned over and whispered to Ron to stop the airplanes. With cheeks flushing red with embarrassment at just noticing McGonagall, the red head dropped his wand. Finally rolling her eyes, Hermione whispered the counter charm for the airplanes and they ceased their delicate loops.
“Now, class. The Headmaster has an announcement to make and I expect you to pay close attention.” The professor glanced over toward the doorway and the students watched as the Headmaster entered with a sour looking Professor Snape in tow.
“Students, today is known as field day. Your class will be going on a field trip to a Muggle Zoo.” He paused as the murmur of voices came from the students and then continued. “Many of you are muggleborn so you know what a zoo is. But for those who don’t…a zoo is a place that muggles keep their muggle animals. Like lions, bears, anteaters and zebras.” He smiled, as the class seemed quite happy about the prospect of going to the zoo.
“The field trip will be used to help you pick an animal that you wish to write a research paper on.” Professor McGonagall added, causing moans to ripple through the room. “Now, the following list is essentials for this trip and you must pay attention. Mr. Potter do not point your wand at Mr. Malfoy’s head.” The class roared at the look on Draco Malfoy’s face and it took several minutes for them to calm down.
“Pay attention to the list, class!” Snape thundered, silencing the giggly teenagers immediately. Professor McGonagall threw him a silent thank you before continuing.
“A bag per student, a notebook for taking notes about animals, muggle clothing, and…”
“No wands!” Dumbledore interjected, causing both Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape to stare at him. “So very sorry, my dear. But to make it a full muggle experience, nothing magical will be going on the trip, including transportation. I intend to travel in a bus I had Aberforth rent for us.” He popped a lemon drop into his mouth as if to end his sentence.
A pin could have dropped and been heard all the way to Hagrid’s hut. McGonagall stood with her eyes wide in horror while the students had their mouths open. Suddenly as though they had waited for an off stage cue, the students all began to talk and whisper.
“No magic with a class of third years, Headmaster?” Snape said disbelievingly his eyes wide with disturbing visions of what was to come. “You can’t be serious!”
Dumbledore smile widened and he nodded.
“I am serious, Severus and I think it will be a good experience for the students.”
“Albus, it may be a good experience for the students, but what about us!” McGonagall sounded ill with dread.
“No need to fear, my good professors. I am sure everything will go just fine.”
2 hours later---
Professor Minerva McGonagall had done many things in her life, but nothing compared to what she about to undertake. There in front of her sat a large grey and yellow bus decorated with purple streamers that Dumbledore had found the best thing that the bus had. Students were filing into it and taking their seats; laughing and talking as if they were simply sitting down to eat in the Great Hall. Only a few students looked nervous about the odd looking bus and even they seemed to be willing to try it out for the fun of it.
Professor Snape nodded as the last students boarded the bus and turned to Minerva.
“They are all in,” he announced somewhat stiffly. He was wearing a perfectly horrid shirt that Albus had given him to wear as part of his muggle apparel and was obviously not enjoying it. That added to his usual attitude and a pair of somewhat stiff jeans, Severus Snape was no happy camper.
“Why do muggles wear such things?” Snape asked her, gesturing down at his clothing. The bright tye die shirt he wore was yellow and green, which reflected the light terribly. Minerva couldn’t remember ever seeing a worse shirt on anyone other than Albus Dumbledore, who had an unhealthy obsession with the most unfashionable clothing.
“All ready?” asked Dumbledore from behind the two professors. They both turned slowly to prepare themselves for the shock they knew they would receive. Sure enough the esteemed Headmaster was dressed in clothes that made Severus look fit for a ball. A Hawaiian shirt covered with pineapples and palm trees covered his torso as the green of the trees and the yellow of the fruit contrasted brightly with the red of the background. Words were written across the chest of the shirt and from what Minerva could make out stated “Microcerebrum Possessor” which caused her to smile. Only Dumbledore could wear a shirt that said he was an idiot with as much pride as a Merlin Honor robe.
Underneath the hem of the wacky shirt was a pair of orange and purple shorts that completed the outfit making Albus look like a lost Marsian from Jupiter. Minerva’s eyes soon hurt from glancing at the outfit and she turned away. Severus was hooked however on the shirt and his mouth had fallen open.
“Headmaster!” he managed. “You can’t go out in public dressed like that.” Dumbledore looked confused as he pulled a pink baseball cap on over his hair. He had charmed it to appear short for the day and his beard was also greatly reduced in length.
“Why not?” He exclaimed smiling good-naturally. “You are.” And nothing the two professors said afterward could convince the man to change.
Severus folded his arms as he boarded the bus just after losing the argument with Dumbledore and plopped into an empty seat near the front of the bus. Turning his head so he couldn’t see Dumbledore eye-popping outfit or his own terrible ensemble, he noticed that Minerva had let to board the bus or even change out of her tartan green robes and pointed witches hat. Jealousy raced through him as he noted that she had no intention of changing and would be able to convince Dumbledore to leave her behind.
Albus could not possibly imagine what his deputy was thinking. She had not changed, had not boarded the bus and her wand was gripped firmly in her hand. Either she had plans to take over and become Headmistress or she had no intention of joining the field trip. He severely doubted the first so that left only one option.
“Minerva.” He said softly, pointing at her hat. “You haven’t changed yet.” He let the “yet” hang in the air as a hopeful gesture that she had plans to change.
“No I haven’t and I will not be either.” She assured him, her mouth setting into a thin line that warned him not to argue. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and prepared himself for the battle of the century.
Harry Potter yawned as he leaned against the bus windowpane. They had yet to leave the school and the students were becoming restless. Professor Snape had discouraged any roughhousing with several well-aimed glares and most of the students were talking softly or playing various games that they had smuggled aboard the bus. Ron was fast asleep in the seat next to Harry and a bit of drool was hanging from his mouth. Hermione was deeply entranced in a book she had brought and Harry didn’t really want to lean over and read the cover to know what it was.
Suddenly he and several other students noticed that Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore were arguing back and forth with a great deal of volume. Harry pushed the window open a bit and tried to listen in on the fight. From what he could hear it was obvious that McGonagall had no intention of taking the field trip and Dumbledore had no intention of leaving her behind. He chuckled softly to himself as Dumbledore called her a “scaredy cat” and bet she couldn’t survive one day without magic.
It was a humorous picture of McGonagall without her usual robes dressed in something muggle sitting in a bus, but Harry figured that if Dumbledore could defeat Grindleward and be the Headmaster of Hogwarts, he could force one Scottish woman to change her clothing.
“Get a load of Dumbledore’s shorts!” Ron shouted, pointing at the man. Harry nodded and joined in the laughter that was circulating from the Headmaster’s garments.
“He looked like an idiot.” Snorted Draco, from the seat across from the trio’s. Both Ron and Harry turned to face him.
“He does not!” Ron protested, defending the beloved Headmaster. “You just wish you had taste like his.” Ron finished with an immature gesture of sticking out his tongue, which caused Draco to stand up.
“You little toad! Keep your tongue inside your mouth or I’ll rip it out!” Professor Snape was now making his way toward the two boys and Draco’s words caused him to scowl deeper.
“Mr. Malfoy, take you seat. Weasley sit down!” He happily noted that both boys instantly obeyed and turned to regain his seat. A Slytherin whose name slipped his mind addressed him though.
“Professor, why aren’t we going?” she asked softly. Snape glared at her but softened it slightly when she looked close to tears.
“Our Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress are having a debate on fashion and since you are a girl I am sure that you understand how time consuming that can be.” Laughter exploded through the bus as the students heard him and he suddenly wished he had joined the two professor’s debate.
Finally the bus doors opened again and Dumbledore entered with the key hanging from his wand hand.
“I was victorious!” He exclaimed, earning the applause of the assembled students. With a low bow, Dumbledore sat down behind the wheel and inserted the key into the ignition; Snape swallowed hard as he hoped he would live to regret this trip and crossed his fingers.
The bus roared to life, causing several more sensitive students to scream. But Dumbledore assured them all that it was a normal thing for a muggle vehicle to do.
“Now we just wait a while for Minerva, and off we go!”
“Oh joy!” the Slytherin Head of House muttered.
Hermione had missed out on most of the fun since she had been imbedded so deeply into her book; however she did not miss out on the chance to see Professor Hooch drag Professor McGonagall toward the bus. McGonagall was transformed, to say the least and she dropped her book out of surprise. The crash her falling book caused most of the students to look up and soon they were all staring at their transfiguration professor.
Rolanda Hooch had done a marvelous job at turning the witch into a muggle and on the way had also managed to turn the professor into a woman, which was no small feat in itself. Professor McGonagall was wearing a lovely lavender summer dress that dropped down decently to mid calf and spread out to form wings at her elbows. It clearly showed off a figure that no one on the bus had ever imagined the woman having and did a wonderful job at making it look perfect but at the same time not seductive.
Her hair cascaded down her back in perfect waves and a clip held it elegantly back from her face. Her eyewear had been removed and replaced with smaller glasses that gave her a more gracious appearance. All in all she looked heavenly, that was except for the daggers her eyes were shooting at Hooch and the frown that was firmly etched into her face where a smile would have most welcome.
Hooch dragged her up to the bus door and signaled for Dumbledore to open them, which he did; then she shoved the woman in and shut the doors with a flick of her wand. Finally the last person needed to send them on their way was on the packed bus and they could now leave. However fate has a sense of humor and it seemed that Dumbledore did not know how to drive well enough to make it a boring trip.
The students and professors sat in their seatbelt less seats holding on for dear life as the crazy man behind the steering wheel sped them around corner after corner and through road lights shouting, “Almost got me, Red Light!” Professor Snape was looking a bit green due to carsickness and Professor McGonagall’s eyes were tightly closed and she looked more than a bit pale. Two other students were carsick as well, but other than the four everyone else was shouting for joy at the exhilarating ride.
The bus lurched to a halt as Dumbledore slammed on the brakes sending everyone flying from their seats. Turning slightly the guilty driver called a brief “Sorry!” over his shoulder before roaring off again. Professor Snape didn’t move from his position on the floor and decided then and there that he got car sick and never wanted to ride in a vehicle of transportation other than the Floo system again. From the appearance of things Professor McGonagall agreed with him with all her heart.
“This is so much fun!” Ron shouted as Harry and Hermione sat back down in their seat and smoothed down their fluffed hair and collars. Hermione nodded, but her smile just about split her face.
“Yeah, Another curve everyone!” Harry shouted, getting ready to let the bus throw him to the other side of the bus. “It’s a loooonnnggg one!” Cheers and whooping erupted from the overjoyed students as the bus began to round the curve and for the hundredth time that day all the seat’s occupants were tossed to the floor.
“This is going to be a long day!” Snape moaned. McGonagall shook her head in agreement as the bus came to a halt and “powered down”.
“We’re here!” Albus shouted. “That wasn’t too bad was it?” he asked helping a very carsick, dizzy and disheveled transfiguration professor to her feet. If looks could kill, Dumbledore would have been six feet under, dead and buried.
A class from Hogwarts is going on a field trip to a muggle zoo...with no magic much to the chagrin of their professors. Will they all make it home alive? Maybe not between Albus' driving and hot dogs.
+10
Disclaimer: I do not own HP and really neither does JKR as she ruined characters that many people greatly liked…cheers to those authors who have succeeded in not ruining their characters to get a little publicity…Tolkien, Lewis, Austen, Eliot, and the list goes on…I am rambling now so on to the story…
Chapter 1- Getting to the Zoo
The class sat in their chairs not so patiently dreading the arrival of their strict but nonetheless good professor. Enchanted quills were scribbling notes that were being passed from one silently giggling girl to the next and many students sighed and dreamily gazed off into space. Several boys were whispering about a prank that they planned on doing against an unsuspecting fellow student and more than one charmed paper airplane flew in slow circles around the room.
It was the epitome of a class of average teenagers.
A rapping on the desk in front caused most of the student body to face the front but many continued to play, talk and giggle. Those who had been fortunate enough to notice their transfiguration professor enter the classroom sat up in their chairs and were immediately silent.
“Mr. Potter, kindly remind Mr. Weasley that this is his transfiguration class not charms.” Ronald Weasley just happened to the only student left who was keeping the paper airplanes circling above the class. Professor McGonagall’s voice, which was unmistakable due to its Scottish lilt, caused the remaining class members to be silent.
Harry leaned over and whispered to Ron to stop the airplanes. With cheeks flushing red with embarrassment at just noticing McGonagall, the red head dropped his wand. Finally rolling her eyes, Hermione whispered the counter charm for the airplanes and they ceased their delicate loops.
“Now, class. The Headmaster has an announcement to make and I expect you to pay close attention.” The professor glanced over toward the doorway and the students watched as the Headmaster entered with a sour looking Professor Snape in tow.
“Students, today is known as field day. Your class will be going on a field trip to a Muggle Zoo.” He paused as the murmur of voices came from the students and then continued. “Many of you are muggleborn so you know what a zoo is. But for those who don’t…a zoo is a place that muggles keep their muggle animals. Like lions, bears, anteaters and zebras.” He smiled, as the class seemed quite happy about the prospect of going to the zoo.
“The field trip will be used to help you pick an animal that you wish to write a research paper on.” Professor McGonagall added, causing moans to ripple through the room. “Now, the following list is essentials for this trip and you must pay attention. Mr. Potter do not point your wand at Mr. Malfoy’s head.” The class roared at the look on Draco Malfoy’s face and it took several minutes for them to calm down.
“Pay attention to the list, class!” Snape thundered, silencing the giggly teenagers immediately. Professor McGonagall threw him a silent thank you before continuing.
“A bag per student, a notebook for taking notes about animals, muggle clothing, and…”
“No wands!” Dumbledore interjected, causing both Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape to stare at him. “So very sorry, my dear. But to make it a full muggle experience, nothing magical will be going on the trip, including transportation. I intend to travel in a bus I had Aberforth rent for us.” He popped a lemon drop into his mouth as if to end his sentence.
A pin could have dropped and been heard all the way to Hagrid’s hut. McGonagall stood with her eyes wide in horror while the students had their mouths open. Suddenly as though they had waited for an off stage cue, the students all began to talk and whisper.
“No magic with a class of third years, Headmaster?” Snape said disbelievingly his eyes wide with disturbing visions of what was to come. “You can’t be serious!”
Dumbledore smile widened and he nodded.
“I am serious, Severus and I think it will be a good experience for the students.”
“Albus, it may be a good experience for the students, but what about us!” McGonagall sounded ill with dread.
“No need to fear, my good professors. I am sure everything will go just fine.”
2 hours later---
Professor Minerva McGonagall had done many things in her life, but nothing compared to what she about to undertake. There in front of her sat a large grey and yellow bus decorated with purple streamers that Dumbledore had found the best thing that the bus had. Students were filing into it and taking their seats; laughing and talking as if they were simply sitting down to eat in the Great Hall. Only a few students looked nervous about the odd looking bus and even they seemed to be willing to try it out for the fun of it.
Professor Snape nodded as the last students boarded the bus and turned to Minerva.
“They are all in,” he announced somewhat stiffly. He was wearing a perfectly horrid shirt that Albus had given him to wear as part of his muggle apparel and was obviously not enjoying it. That added to his usual attitude and a pair of somewhat stiff jeans, Severus Snape was no happy camper.
“Why do muggles wear such things?” Snape asked her, gesturing down at his clothing. The bright tye die shirt he wore was yellow and green, which reflected the light terribly. Minerva couldn’t remember ever seeing a worse shirt on anyone other than Albus Dumbledore, who had an unhealthy obsession with the most unfashionable clothing.
“All ready?” asked Dumbledore from behind the two professors. They both turned slowly to prepare themselves for the shock they knew they would receive. Sure enough the esteemed Headmaster was dressed in clothes that made Severus look fit for a ball. A Hawaiian shirt covered with pineapples and palm trees covered his torso as the green of the trees and the yellow of the fruit contrasted brightly with the red of the background. Words were written across the chest of the shirt and from what Minerva could make out stated “Microcerebrum Possessor” which caused her to smile. Only Dumbledore could wear a shirt that said he was an idiot with as much pride as a Merlin Honor robe.
Underneath the hem of the wacky shirt was a pair of orange and purple shorts that completed the outfit making Albus look like a lost Marsian from Jupiter. Minerva’s eyes soon hurt from glancing at the outfit and she turned away. Severus was hooked however on the shirt and his mouth had fallen open.
“Headmaster!” he managed. “You can’t go out in public dressed like that.” Dumbledore looked confused as he pulled a pink baseball cap on over his hair. He had charmed it to appear short for the day and his beard was also greatly reduced in length.
“Why not?” He exclaimed smiling good-naturally. “You are.” And nothing the two professors said afterward could convince the man to change.
Severus folded his arms as he boarded the bus just after losing the argument with Dumbledore and plopped into an empty seat near the front of the bus. Turning his head so he couldn’t see Dumbledore eye-popping outfit or his own terrible ensemble, he noticed that Minerva had let to board the bus or even change out of her tartan green robes and pointed witches hat. Jealousy raced through him as he noted that she had no intention of changing and would be able to convince Dumbledore to leave her behind.
Albus could not possibly imagine what his deputy was thinking. She had not changed, had not boarded the bus and her wand was gripped firmly in her hand. Either she had plans to take over and become Headmistress or she had no intention of joining the field trip. He severely doubted the first so that left only one option.
“Minerva.” He said softly, pointing at her hat. “You haven’t changed yet.” He let the “yet” hang in the air as a hopeful gesture that she had plans to change.
“No I haven’t and I will not be either.” She assured him, her mouth setting into a thin line that warned him not to argue. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and prepared himself for the battle of the century.
Harry Potter yawned as he leaned against the bus windowpane. They had yet to leave the school and the students were becoming restless. Professor Snape had discouraged any roughhousing with several well-aimed glares and most of the students were talking softly or playing various games that they had smuggled aboard the bus. Ron was fast asleep in the seat next to Harry and a bit of drool was hanging from his mouth. Hermione was deeply entranced in a book she had brought and Harry didn’t really want to lean over and read the cover to know what it was.
Suddenly he and several other students noticed that Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore were arguing back and forth with a great deal of volume. Harry pushed the window open a bit and tried to listen in on the fight. From what he could hear it was obvious that McGonagall had no intention of taking the field trip and Dumbledore had no intention of leaving her behind. He chuckled softly to himself as Dumbledore called her a “scaredy cat” and bet she couldn’t survive one day without magic.
It was a humorous picture of McGonagall without her usual robes dressed in something muggle sitting in a bus, but Harry figured that if Dumbledore could defeat Grindleward and be the Headmaster of Hogwarts, he could force one Scottish woman to change her clothing.
“Get a load of Dumbledore’s shorts!” Ron shouted, pointing at the man. Harry nodded and joined in the laughter that was circulating from the Headmaster’s garments.
“He looked like an idiot.” Snorted Draco, from the seat across from the trio’s. Both Ron and Harry turned to face him.
“He does not!” Ron protested, defending the beloved Headmaster. “You just wish you had taste like his.” Ron finished with an immature gesture of sticking out his tongue, which caused Draco to stand up.
“You little toad! Keep your tongue inside your mouth or I’ll rip it out!” Professor Snape was now making his way toward the two boys and Draco’s words caused him to scowl deeper.
“Mr. Malfoy, take you seat. Weasley sit down!” He happily noted that both boys instantly obeyed and turned to regain his seat. A Slytherin whose name slipped his mind addressed him though.
“Professor, why aren’t we going?” she asked softly. Snape glared at her but softened it slightly when she looked close to tears.
“Our Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress are having a debate on fashion and since you are a girl I am sure that you understand how time consuming that can be.” Laughter exploded through the bus as the students heard him and he suddenly wished he had joined the two professor’s debate.
Finally the bus doors opened again and Dumbledore entered with the key hanging from his wand hand.
“I was victorious!” He exclaimed, earning the applause of the assembled students. With a low bow, Dumbledore sat down behind the wheel and inserted the key into the ignition; Snape swallowed hard as he hoped he would live to regret this trip and crossed his fingers.
The bus roared to life, causing several more sensitive students to scream. But Dumbledore assured them all that it was a normal thing for a muggle vehicle to do.
“Now we just wait a while for Minerva, and off we go!”
“Oh joy!” the Slytherin Head of House muttered.
Hermione had missed out on most of the fun since she had been imbedded so deeply into her book; however she did not miss out on the chance to see Professor Hooch drag Professor McGonagall toward the bus. McGonagall was transformed, to say the least and she dropped her book out of surprise. The crash her falling book caused most of the students to look up and soon they were all staring at their transfiguration professor.
Rolanda Hooch had done a marvelous job at turning the witch into a muggle and on the way had also managed to turn the professor into a woman, which was no small feat in itself. Professor McGonagall was wearing a lovely lavender summer dress that dropped down decently to mid calf and spread out to form wings at her elbows. It clearly showed off a figure that no one on the bus had ever imagined the woman having and did a wonderful job at making it look perfect but at the same time not seductive.
Her hair cascaded down her back in perfect waves and a clip held it elegantly back from her face. Her eyewear had been removed and replaced with smaller glasses that gave her a more gracious appearance. All in all she looked heavenly, that was except for the daggers her eyes were shooting at Hooch and the frown that was firmly etched into her face where a smile would have most welcome.
Hooch dragged her up to the bus door and signaled for Dumbledore to open them, which he did; then she shoved the woman in and shut the doors with a flick of her wand. Finally the last person needed to send them on their way was on the packed bus and they could now leave. However fate has a sense of humor and it seemed that Dumbledore did not know how to drive well enough to make it a boring trip.
The students and professors sat in their seatbelt less seats holding on for dear life as the crazy man behind the steering wheel sped them around corner after corner and through road lights shouting, “Almost got me, Red Light!” Professor Snape was looking a bit green due to carsickness and Professor McGonagall’s eyes were tightly closed and she looked more than a bit pale. Two other students were carsick as well, but other than the four everyone else was shouting for joy at the exhilarating ride.
The bus lurched to a halt as Dumbledore slammed on the brakes sending everyone flying from their seats. Turning slightly the guilty driver called a brief “Sorry!” over his shoulder before roaring off again. Professor Snape didn’t move from his position on the floor and decided then and there that he got car sick and never wanted to ride in a vehicle of transportation other than the Floo system again. From the appearance of things Professor McGonagall agreed with him with all her heart.
“This is so much fun!” Ron shouted as Harry and Hermione sat back down in their seat and smoothed down their fluffed hair and collars. Hermione nodded, but her smile just about split her face.
“Yeah, Another curve everyone!” Harry shouted, getting ready to let the bus throw him to the other side of the bus. “It’s a loooonnnggg one!” Cheers and whooping erupted from the overjoyed students as the bus began to round the curve and for the hundredth time that day all the seat’s occupants were tossed to the floor.
“This is going to be a long day!” Snape moaned. McGonagall shook her head in agreement as the bus came to a halt and “powered down”.
“We’re here!” Albus shouted. “That wasn’t too bad was it?” he asked helping a very carsick, dizzy and disheveled transfiguration professor to her feet. If looks could kill, Dumbledore would have been six feet under, dead and buried.
