Post by McGonagallsGirl on Dec 30, 2008 2:44:16 GMT -5
TabbyHearts' Secret Santa gift for the 2008 exchange.
It's child friendly, don't worry.
I was dared Angst, so I did what I could, but I had to take it out of the season
Still, here it is. It takes place the night before Dumbledore's death.
Seasons greetings to everyone!
***
Minerva sat on the couch by the fire in her husband's office with a cup of tea and a sigh. He joined her after a moment.
"How is your hand?" She asked.
"Better today than yesterday." He replied, looking down at the now decrepit appendage.
She sighed, "And you have no idea how this could have happened? What if someone is jinxing you... What if it's a voodoo doll?"
"Voodoo dolls are such dark magic... they're practically myth, Minerva, you know that."
"Can you think of no one who would resort to such measures?"
"Well, of course Tom Riddle would. But there would be other side effects and--" He paused.
"What?" she asked, concerned.
"...I know why this is happening to me, my dear. I've known all along. No one did this to me, I did it myself."
Minerva blinked. "What? When? ...I'm sorry, darling. What happened?"
"It's not something I'm comfortable with you knowing. In time I'll tell --" He stopped himself. "In time you will be told, but I'm not ready for you to know yet."
She sighed. "What if I can help you? What if you're in danger?"
"I assure you I am in no immediate danger, my dear. I'm fine. So are you. Here we are. Let's not speak of this tonight, I want to hear about your day."
She inhaled, and agreed to let the matter go for the moment. He looked so tired, and the matter of his hand was not a new one. " I had to punish Peeves today. And I'm reasonably certain that means Peeves will soon be punishing me." She sipped. "My morning classes went well. The room did not quite burst in to flames as it has in the past on the day I teach my third years to transfigure pillows into firewood. But there's always tomorrow when I cross the lesson over and allow them to transfigure any item they choose into firewood. So I'm not quite certain that there won't be a catastrophe then."
"You enjoyed last Christmas, didn't you Minerva?"
"...Why of course, Albus. It was perfect. I actually think it was my favorite. Why do you ask?"
" I just wanted to make sure. And your birthday?"
"Albus! What's gotten into you?"
"I'm taking Harry tomorrow. We're going somewhere... I cannot tell you, and I predict it will be immensely dangerous." He swallowed and steeled himself. He was preparing to lie again to those wide green eyes he adored. " I'm sure everything will be fine. I doubt there will be any trouble, but just in case--"
She took a deep drink from her tea cup. In a low, much too calm voice she said "In case I lose you to some mysterious adventure you won't tell me about, in a manner in which I'm not allowed to shield you from? More secrets, Albus? I should have put a stop to this last summer. But I didn't and you returned with your hand nearly destroyed and I--"
"I don't mean to hurt you with these secrets. I despise keeping such things from you."
"Then don't."
"I fear what could happen to you if you knew."
"Don't start that with me."
"It's as true now as it ever has been."
"Then perhaps I should have stopped the secrets at our marriage! Do you understand what it's been like for me to keep our marriage hidden for all of these years?!"
"Of course I do! I'm the only other one who does!" He begged her with his eyes to understand. Then, quietly, he continued. "I want you to make a list."
"No."
"Minerva, I want you to make a list."
"It's utterly out of the question!"
"I won't be able to live with myself tomorrow if you don't do it."
"Well, I'm not going to give you permission to die with yoursef tomorrow, either."
He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Please, Minerva. Make a list."
She slammed her tea cup down. "I'm not playing this game, Albus! I made a list during the last war and it nearly drove me mad. I can't do that again. I ... I can't. I don't... I don't have it in me anymore."
"My dear--"
"I don't know what I would do without you, Albus!!! I can't make a list!!! There wouldn't be anything to put on it."
They sat in silence for several long moments.
"Would you go see a match of Quidditch?"
"No."
"Minerva."
"No."
"Minerva, please."
"No. I'm tired of the secrets, Albus. I've lost more sleep this year than I ever have in my life, worrying myself sick about you. And for what? More lies and bloody secrets. I'm tired of being strung along, Albus. I won't make a list. I couldn't survive it."
"Lies and bloody secrets?" He was so weary.
"Tell me you never lied to me before this year."
"I never did!"
"Tell me you haven't lied to me at all this year."
He said nothing.
Minerva's voice reflected tears she would not let fall. "Go on, Albus. What's one more?"
Albus took her hand and held it tightly. "You know I love you, don't you?"
"I know you do. More than you ever thought possible to love another human being."
"Good. I love you more than the stars."
She repeated this frequent exercise. "And more than the moon."
"More than all magic."
"More than the dawn."
"More than our school."
"And more than your socks." She smiled, completeing the routine.
But he continued, taking her face in his other hand. "And more than this war."
"...Alright."
"You must know that."
"I do now."
"And you believe it?"
She blinked. "In spite of myself, Albus, I will always believe anything you tell me. I always have. That's why it kills me when you lie to me. Because I always believe it. I'm always taken as a fool."
"No!"
"It's true."
"You're not a fool, Minerva. Don't ever believe that of yourself."
"Very well."
"Please make a list. Just so that I might sleep well tonight."
"Will it help you sleep well tomorrow night?" She asked, as she began to conceed.
He winced. "Oh, yes. It will help me sleep very well tomorrow night."
"Alright." She summoned some parchment and one of his quills. "If you weren't here..."
"Yes. Quidditch?"
"I think that sounds fine. I like quidditch. With Rolonda, don't you think? Mhmm... and... let's see..." She wrote down everything. "Breakfast at that small cafe in Italy, overlooking the beach."
"With Poppy, you know how she loves Italy."
"Yes, perhaps we should go there together this summer. You wouldn't mind, would you?"
"Put it on your list."
"Oh, yes." She wrote it. "But, I mean outside of this list."
"I think it's a splendid idea." he swallowed very hard. "And I think I should like to rest here at the school for a while, anyway."
She nodded, adding things like 'go to history museum with Pomona' and 're-allocate school funding to grow Hogwarts fine arts department'. She was just about to add 'Go with Severus to the Potions exhibition again' when Albus stopped her.
"Perhaps nothing with Severus on your list."
"Oh? Why not?"
"Well... the two of you sometimes quarrel, and I think perhaps if that were on your list--"
She stopped him. "But I'll never need this list. I'm not making this to actually use, am I?"
He inhaled, "Of course not. I'm going to be just fine. And this time tomorrow we'll be discussing something much more pleasant. But for now, simply to appease my worrying mind, leave Severus off of your list. May I suggest moving in with Poppy, though? She has a lovely house and she always loves it when you stay with her."
"If you were gone, I suppose I can see that I wouldn't want to return to our cottage for a while."
"I would say a year."
"Do you think so?"
"I couldn't make it any sooner if you were gone."
"I thought perhaps longer."
"No, you're stronge. You could do it in a year." He did not add that he knew she would most likely be in desperate need of their cottage after a year without him. Particularly the year to come.
She added at least ten other things. Like 'read a book' and 'ask Molly to teach me some of her baking recipes'.
"Perhaps even spend some time with the Weasleys." He suggested, for he knew she had a fondness for that entire family, and it did her good to be around children.
At last the list was complete. "Where should I put this?" She asked.
" The desk, I think. Right on top, there." he said, and she didn't notice that he didn't call it 'my desk'.
"I think I'll be going to bed now, darling." Minerva said, walking towards the bedroom. She turned with a grin. "Join me?"
He smiled. "Believe me, I will. But first, I have a few memories of us I would like to put in the pensieve." She turned away again, and he stopped her as he said, "You know, you can look into the pensieve any time you want to."
"Perhaps later. Really, I'd like to make a few memories of us right now. I'll wait for you, but do hurry, darling." She said, and then she was gone.
His eyes were remorseful. Quietly he said,"And I'll wait for you, my dear."
He made a note to add the memories of this night to the pensieve before he left tomorrow. At last he set to finishing the work he had started the previous summer. Making a proper catalogue of their entire relationship, beginning with her time as a student.
He loathed himself just a little bit when he thought that it was all she would have left of him that time tomorrow.
It's child friendly, don't worry.
I was dared Angst, so I did what I could, but I had to take it out of the season
Still, here it is. It takes place the night before Dumbledore's death.
Seasons greetings to everyone!
***
Minerva sat on the couch by the fire in her husband's office with a cup of tea and a sigh. He joined her after a moment.
"How is your hand?" She asked.
"Better today than yesterday." He replied, looking down at the now decrepit appendage.
She sighed, "And you have no idea how this could have happened? What if someone is jinxing you... What if it's a voodoo doll?"
"Voodoo dolls are such dark magic... they're practically myth, Minerva, you know that."
"Can you think of no one who would resort to such measures?"
"Well, of course Tom Riddle would. But there would be other side effects and--" He paused.
"What?" she asked, concerned.
"...I know why this is happening to me, my dear. I've known all along. No one did this to me, I did it myself."
Minerva blinked. "What? When? ...I'm sorry, darling. What happened?"
"It's not something I'm comfortable with you knowing. In time I'll tell --" He stopped himself. "In time you will be told, but I'm not ready for you to know yet."
She sighed. "What if I can help you? What if you're in danger?"
"I assure you I am in no immediate danger, my dear. I'm fine. So are you. Here we are. Let's not speak of this tonight, I want to hear about your day."
She inhaled, and agreed to let the matter go for the moment. He looked so tired, and the matter of his hand was not a new one. " I had to punish Peeves today. And I'm reasonably certain that means Peeves will soon be punishing me." She sipped. "My morning classes went well. The room did not quite burst in to flames as it has in the past on the day I teach my third years to transfigure pillows into firewood. But there's always tomorrow when I cross the lesson over and allow them to transfigure any item they choose into firewood. So I'm not quite certain that there won't be a catastrophe then."
"You enjoyed last Christmas, didn't you Minerva?"
"...Why of course, Albus. It was perfect. I actually think it was my favorite. Why do you ask?"
" I just wanted to make sure. And your birthday?"
"Albus! What's gotten into you?"
"I'm taking Harry tomorrow. We're going somewhere... I cannot tell you, and I predict it will be immensely dangerous." He swallowed and steeled himself. He was preparing to lie again to those wide green eyes he adored. " I'm sure everything will be fine. I doubt there will be any trouble, but just in case--"
She took a deep drink from her tea cup. In a low, much too calm voice she said "In case I lose you to some mysterious adventure you won't tell me about, in a manner in which I'm not allowed to shield you from? More secrets, Albus? I should have put a stop to this last summer. But I didn't and you returned with your hand nearly destroyed and I--"
"I don't mean to hurt you with these secrets. I despise keeping such things from you."
"Then don't."
"I fear what could happen to you if you knew."
"Don't start that with me."
"It's as true now as it ever has been."
"Then perhaps I should have stopped the secrets at our marriage! Do you understand what it's been like for me to keep our marriage hidden for all of these years?!"
"Of course I do! I'm the only other one who does!" He begged her with his eyes to understand. Then, quietly, he continued. "I want you to make a list."
"No."
"Minerva, I want you to make a list."
"It's utterly out of the question!"
"I won't be able to live with myself tomorrow if you don't do it."
"Well, I'm not going to give you permission to die with yoursef tomorrow, either."
He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Please, Minerva. Make a list."
She slammed her tea cup down. "I'm not playing this game, Albus! I made a list during the last war and it nearly drove me mad. I can't do that again. I ... I can't. I don't... I don't have it in me anymore."
"My dear--"
"I don't know what I would do without you, Albus!!! I can't make a list!!! There wouldn't be anything to put on it."
They sat in silence for several long moments.
"Would you go see a match of Quidditch?"
"No."
"Minerva."
"No."
"Minerva, please."
"No. I'm tired of the secrets, Albus. I've lost more sleep this year than I ever have in my life, worrying myself sick about you. And for what? More lies and bloody secrets. I'm tired of being strung along, Albus. I won't make a list. I couldn't survive it."
"Lies and bloody secrets?" He was so weary.
"Tell me you never lied to me before this year."
"I never did!"
"Tell me you haven't lied to me at all this year."
He said nothing.
Minerva's voice reflected tears she would not let fall. "Go on, Albus. What's one more?"
Albus took her hand and held it tightly. "You know I love you, don't you?"
"I know you do. More than you ever thought possible to love another human being."
"Good. I love you more than the stars."
She repeated this frequent exercise. "And more than the moon."
"More than all magic."
"More than the dawn."
"More than our school."
"And more than your socks." She smiled, completeing the routine.
But he continued, taking her face in his other hand. "And more than this war."
"...Alright."
"You must know that."
"I do now."
"And you believe it?"
She blinked. "In spite of myself, Albus, I will always believe anything you tell me. I always have. That's why it kills me when you lie to me. Because I always believe it. I'm always taken as a fool."
"No!"
"It's true."
"You're not a fool, Minerva. Don't ever believe that of yourself."
"Very well."
"Please make a list. Just so that I might sleep well tonight."
"Will it help you sleep well tomorrow night?" She asked, as she began to conceed.
He winced. "Oh, yes. It will help me sleep very well tomorrow night."
"Alright." She summoned some parchment and one of his quills. "If you weren't here..."
"Yes. Quidditch?"
"I think that sounds fine. I like quidditch. With Rolonda, don't you think? Mhmm... and... let's see..." She wrote down everything. "Breakfast at that small cafe in Italy, overlooking the beach."
"With Poppy, you know how she loves Italy."
"Yes, perhaps we should go there together this summer. You wouldn't mind, would you?"
"Put it on your list."
"Oh, yes." She wrote it. "But, I mean outside of this list."
"I think it's a splendid idea." he swallowed very hard. "And I think I should like to rest here at the school for a while, anyway."
She nodded, adding things like 'go to history museum with Pomona' and 're-allocate school funding to grow Hogwarts fine arts department'. She was just about to add 'Go with Severus to the Potions exhibition again' when Albus stopped her.
"Perhaps nothing with Severus on your list."
"Oh? Why not?"
"Well... the two of you sometimes quarrel, and I think perhaps if that were on your list--"
She stopped him. "But I'll never need this list. I'm not making this to actually use, am I?"
He inhaled, "Of course not. I'm going to be just fine. And this time tomorrow we'll be discussing something much more pleasant. But for now, simply to appease my worrying mind, leave Severus off of your list. May I suggest moving in with Poppy, though? She has a lovely house and she always loves it when you stay with her."
"If you were gone, I suppose I can see that I wouldn't want to return to our cottage for a while."
"I would say a year."
"Do you think so?"
"I couldn't make it any sooner if you were gone."
"I thought perhaps longer."
"No, you're stronge. You could do it in a year." He did not add that he knew she would most likely be in desperate need of their cottage after a year without him. Particularly the year to come.
She added at least ten other things. Like 'read a book' and 'ask Molly to teach me some of her baking recipes'.
"Perhaps even spend some time with the Weasleys." He suggested, for he knew she had a fondness for that entire family, and it did her good to be around children.
At last the list was complete. "Where should I put this?" She asked.
" The desk, I think. Right on top, there." he said, and she didn't notice that he didn't call it 'my desk'.
"I think I'll be going to bed now, darling." Minerva said, walking towards the bedroom. She turned with a grin. "Join me?"
He smiled. "Believe me, I will. But first, I have a few memories of us I would like to put in the pensieve." She turned away again, and he stopped her as he said, "You know, you can look into the pensieve any time you want to."
"Perhaps later. Really, I'd like to make a few memories of us right now. I'll wait for you, but do hurry, darling." She said, and then she was gone.
His eyes were remorseful. Quietly he said,"And I'll wait for you, my dear."
He made a note to add the memories of this night to the pensieve before he left tomorrow. At last he set to finishing the work he had started the previous summer. Making a proper catalogue of their entire relationship, beginning with her time as a student.
He loathed himself just a little bit when he thought that it was all she would have left of him that time tomorrow.
