Post by Katheryn Mae on Jan 5, 2009 20:31:09 GMT -5
Oxygen
AN: My first attempt at a humor fic – thanks to dianahawthrone for encouraging me that humor isn’t so bad.
The stone halls were deserted and their footsteps made no sound as their slippered feet passed the third floor. Moving as one, they took a nimble step towards the staircase and pushed onwards past one secret passageway and into a second one opposite it. From the exit, they were confronted with a mass of people. Well, to them, not just people, but the worst kind of people they could run into.
They retreated into the passageway and whipped the cloak off, then sprinted up three flights of stairs, stopping outside the portrait hole before they could breathe again. They all leaned wearily against the wall and slid to the floor, and exchanged worried glances.
“We just have to get to the kitchen, or else. We can’t run for Madam Pomfrey – all the staff are at their party or whatever.” Ron moaned.
“Thick,” Hermione laughed, “those were staff – and if I’m not mistaken, all of them.”
“What would the staff of Hogwarts be doing crowded around in a hallway?” Harry asked, pulling the cloak over them as a faint mew sounded a few feet away – “Mrs. Norris,” he hissed.
“Only one way to find out!” Ron tugged both Harry and Hermione’s arms and the trio moved quickly along the halls until they reached the portrait hole which lead to their doom – if they were caught that was. They slipped up behind a woman in a long red gown with curling dirty-blonde hair and Hermione hissed a quiet “shh” to them as they made their way along the opposite wall, all watching their feet and crouching low. Then a drawling voice called out, rather exasperated and partly annoyed.
“Excuse me headmaster, I believe the ministry would like to know why your deputy suffered from a lack of oxygen …”
The voice was Severus Snape’s – which confirmed the trio’s worst fears onto who had attended. They had passed Sprout, Hooch, Flitwick and Binns; Dumbledore and McGonagall had been mentioned and Snape had spoken. Then they looked up – fear and embarrassment filling the three as the scene before them unfolded.
The staff all stood crowded against one wall, and opposite them stood a sight that none of the three students – and many of the staff, as it looked – wanted to see. Harry’s jaw dropped as his eyes widened – Ron gave a tiny “ugh” – Hermione gave a little smile.
In full view of the staff stood the two people that the trio looked up too; Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall – engaged in what, to them, looked like a rather heated snog session. One arm was around Minerva’s waist, the other was tangled in her hair, which to the trio’s amazement, spiraled in deep ebony curls to her waist. Her arms were both around his neck and her eyes were closed in a blissful calmness – both oblivious to the scene unfolding around them.
“Albus, I don’t think you want Minerva to die because of a loss of air do you?” Severus snapped, as Minerva’s cheeks turned to a blush – and the two pulled back. Albus dropped his arms and looked meekly around, trying to find a possible diversion so he could have time to think.
“Let’s not get into this – all I can say is that,” Severus’ eyes had a tint to them that told the trio not to mess with him tomorrow, “I think you two need to get a room and stay away from us for the rest of the evening.” A few murmurs swept through the staff at his comment and Ron gave a second “urgh!” as Minerva’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. Albus nodded, “Then, if you’ll excuse yourselves, then I suggest you all return to the Great Hall. Good night everyone,” he took Minerva’s hand.
As the crowd dispersed towards the Great Hall and numerous other places throughout the school, they heard a distinctive voice that they had come to loathe – “See, I told you that I Saw it in the crystal ball – and you refused to believe me!” A few chuckles followed this and the laughter and whispering died down as the doors of the Great Hall slammed behind them.
“Shall we go up to my rooms then my dear?” The trio jumped, having completely forgotten that the two lovers were present, and their cover was blown as the cloak fluttered and slid sideways off them.
“Potter, Weasley, Granger!” Minerva snapped, her cheeks still faint – “What, may I ask, are you doing out of bed at these hours…?” Hermione and Ron looked at the floor, still too embarrassed to speak and Harry spoke, somewhat bravely to the two.
“Well, we fancied a walk outside the Common Room, it’s awfully loud in there.”
“At eleven o’clock at night?” Minerva sighed, “The things you get up to at these late hours.”
“Off to bed you three, no points will be docked but I can assure you that there will be severe consequences if Minerva or I hear anything of what you three saw tonight.” He put an arm around Minerva’s shoulders and turned, “Good night.”
As soon as they were out of earshot, Ron let out a rather delayed but shocked “Bloody Hell!” and the three knew tonight would definitely be one they wouldn’t forget, no matter what came after.
Please let me know what you think.
AN: My first attempt at a humor fic – thanks to dianahawthrone for encouraging me that humor isn’t so bad.
The stone halls were deserted and their footsteps made no sound as their slippered feet passed the third floor. Moving as one, they took a nimble step towards the staircase and pushed onwards past one secret passageway and into a second one opposite it. From the exit, they were confronted with a mass of people. Well, to them, not just people, but the worst kind of people they could run into.
They retreated into the passageway and whipped the cloak off, then sprinted up three flights of stairs, stopping outside the portrait hole before they could breathe again. They all leaned wearily against the wall and slid to the floor, and exchanged worried glances.
“We just have to get to the kitchen, or else. We can’t run for Madam Pomfrey – all the staff are at their party or whatever.” Ron moaned.
“Thick,” Hermione laughed, “those were staff – and if I’m not mistaken, all of them.”
“What would the staff of Hogwarts be doing crowded around in a hallway?” Harry asked, pulling the cloak over them as a faint mew sounded a few feet away – “Mrs. Norris,” he hissed.
“Only one way to find out!” Ron tugged both Harry and Hermione’s arms and the trio moved quickly along the halls until they reached the portrait hole which lead to their doom – if they were caught that was. They slipped up behind a woman in a long red gown with curling dirty-blonde hair and Hermione hissed a quiet “shh” to them as they made their way along the opposite wall, all watching their feet and crouching low. Then a drawling voice called out, rather exasperated and partly annoyed.
“Excuse me headmaster, I believe the ministry would like to know why your deputy suffered from a lack of oxygen …”
The voice was Severus Snape’s – which confirmed the trio’s worst fears onto who had attended. They had passed Sprout, Hooch, Flitwick and Binns; Dumbledore and McGonagall had been mentioned and Snape had spoken. Then they looked up – fear and embarrassment filling the three as the scene before them unfolded.
The staff all stood crowded against one wall, and opposite them stood a sight that none of the three students – and many of the staff, as it looked – wanted to see. Harry’s jaw dropped as his eyes widened – Ron gave a tiny “ugh” – Hermione gave a little smile.
In full view of the staff stood the two people that the trio looked up too; Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall – engaged in what, to them, looked like a rather heated snog session. One arm was around Minerva’s waist, the other was tangled in her hair, which to the trio’s amazement, spiraled in deep ebony curls to her waist. Her arms were both around his neck and her eyes were closed in a blissful calmness – both oblivious to the scene unfolding around them.
“Albus, I don’t think you want Minerva to die because of a loss of air do you?” Severus snapped, as Minerva’s cheeks turned to a blush – and the two pulled back. Albus dropped his arms and looked meekly around, trying to find a possible diversion so he could have time to think.
“Let’s not get into this – all I can say is that,” Severus’ eyes had a tint to them that told the trio not to mess with him tomorrow, “I think you two need to get a room and stay away from us for the rest of the evening.” A few murmurs swept through the staff at his comment and Ron gave a second “urgh!” as Minerva’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. Albus nodded, “Then, if you’ll excuse yourselves, then I suggest you all return to the Great Hall. Good night everyone,” he took Minerva’s hand.
As the crowd dispersed towards the Great Hall and numerous other places throughout the school, they heard a distinctive voice that they had come to loathe – “See, I told you that I Saw it in the crystal ball – and you refused to believe me!” A few chuckles followed this and the laughter and whispering died down as the doors of the Great Hall slammed behind them.
“Shall we go up to my rooms then my dear?” The trio jumped, having completely forgotten that the two lovers were present, and their cover was blown as the cloak fluttered and slid sideways off them.
“Potter, Weasley, Granger!” Minerva snapped, her cheeks still faint – “What, may I ask, are you doing out of bed at these hours…?” Hermione and Ron looked at the floor, still too embarrassed to speak and Harry spoke, somewhat bravely to the two.
“Well, we fancied a walk outside the Common Room, it’s awfully loud in there.”
“At eleven o’clock at night?” Minerva sighed, “The things you get up to at these late hours.”
“Off to bed you three, no points will be docked but I can assure you that there will be severe consequences if Minerva or I hear anything of what you three saw tonight.” He put an arm around Minerva’s shoulders and turned, “Good night.”
As soon as they were out of earshot, Ron let out a rather delayed but shocked “Bloody Hell!” and the three knew tonight would definitely be one they wouldn’t forget, no matter what came after.
Please let me know what you think.
