Hope (moved from angst)

[goldencat]

I have moved it because my plans for the story have changed.

It’s my first English fic and as English is not my first language there are maybe a few mistakes. It was written in Germany and I post it from France.
So, I hope you like it. Please tell me.






Love. A feeling, an emotion that was well known in the world but at the same time a deep mystery. It connected people. It made people do strange things. And it hurt people. Nevertheless the world and the people living in it knew: it was one of the most important things in the world.
But Briseis knew nothing of it. She looked at herself in the mirror. Long black hair, green eyes that seemed to be dark. The eleven year old girl looked away. A lot of people thought she was beautiful. ’’Maybe I am ’’, she thought, but this beauty caused even more trouble. She turned and looked around. A bed, a cupboard, a mirror, a chair. That was all. It wasn’t a typical ’girls room’ but she wasn’t a typical girl. She went to the window and looked out. How often has she been standing in front of that window, looking outside, hoping. Hoping for a change; a better life.
A life with love.

A bird sitting in a tree was singing. Today the weather was lovely. Many people would spend it outside playing, swimming or just enjoying their lives. But she had to stay in the house, in her room; in her prison.
Everybody who would look at this house would probably think it was beautiful. A big house with a big garden and probably a loving family living in it.
But Briseis knew better.
They had adopted her about 10 ½ years ago. So was she told. Here, she had two sisters: Nancy, nearly as old as her and Maya who was two years younger. Her ’mother’ and her ’father’ were both psychologists. ’’What a fate’’, she thought. Maybe it would be a bit different if they were maybe a teacher or a doctor. But this way it was even worse.
The family had a good name, not just in the village but in the whole area and one had to wait a long time to get an appointment. They had a lot of friends and admirers and were seen as the perfect family. However, every family had a secret and their treatment and behavior towards her was theirs. She was the black sheep, the one who did everything wrong, every time. No matter what she achieved, it wasn’t enough.
It wasn’t that often that she was beaten yet it wasn’t the thing that hurt most. They used their knowledge in psychology against her and even encouraged her ’sisters’ to do so. For that reason it wasn’t the physical pain that hurt the most.
It was the psychological cruelty that tore her apart.

How long can someone stand this? Briseis had to bear it for about 10 years now. It still hurt every time but she tried to ignore it. She tried to put up a wall to protect herself from the cruelty. Nevertheless, they could often break through it. Had she ever thought to end all this torture? Yes, she had. And she had nearly done it. Not once, not twice but several times. She had held the knife in her hand, ready to hurt herself. She had stood on the windowsill, ready to jump. Or she had hold her breath.
However, it had always been the same thing that had stopped her to end all this:
Hope

[mercifulheavens]

Ohh! It is very suspenseful! Please continue it! I can hardly wait for more.

[goldencat]

Thanks for the review.
And here comes the next part. Hope you enjoy.




’’ Briseis, come down at once!’’, her mother screamed. Briseis knew what it meant: punishment. She went donwstairs into the kitchen. Her hands were trembling. She didn’t want to go but she had to. Otherwise it would be much worser.
Her mother and Maya were there. Her sister was grinning. ’’Look at this!’’Her mother pointed to the floor where a broken glass was lying. ’’But I….’’ ’’No, stop it.’’ She was furious. ’’Maya has seen you so don’t deny it. Again a glass. Why do you do it again and again? It’s clear why you’re parents didn’t want to keep you. You’re a plague!’’ And she gave her two slaps. Briseis did not want to cry but she could not hold the tears that were now running down her face. ’’Stop crying’’, her mother shouted. She took her arm and pulled Briseis behind herself. She opened the door to her room and threw Briseis in it.
’’We should have never adopted you! You won’t get anything to eat for one day!’’, and with these words she slammed the door and locked it.
Briseis was still sitting on the floor. The tears were still running down her face. No, she hadn’t done it. But that did not matter to her family. It happended several times a week that she was punished. It seemed to her as if her sisters liked to see her suffer. ’’The apple never falls far from the tree’’, she thought.
Slowly the tears stopped to fall. She looked at her window. ’’Why are they always so cruel? What have I done?’’, she thought. New tears were running down her face.’’Can’t someone help me?’’ And with this thought in her mind she lay down to sleep on the floor.
Half-asleep she felt how somebody lifted her. And suddenly instead of the cool floor she could feel the warmth of her bed. Listening to a sweet melody she drifted away to a peaceful sleep.
The beautiful bird stopped singing and looked at the girl once more. A glass of cacao and a plate with sandwiches were now standing next to her bed. Finally he opened his wings and flew back to his friend.

Albus Dumbledore was furious. The powerful and well-known wizard was angry because someone had stolen something from him. Again his cacao and his plate with sandwiches was gone. And it had not been the first time. He had been in a ministry meeting nearly all day long. Afterwards he had asked the house-elves to prepare something for him. They had done so and he had just been in the bathroom for a few minutes. The plate and the cacao that had been standing on the desk were gone. But who would steel such things at Hogwarts? He was staring at his desk. It was a mystery.
’’Have you lost something?’’, came the amused voice from Minerva McGonagall from behind. He turned around. She was grinning. ’’Someone has stolen my cacao and my sandwiches!’’ ’’Oh Albus’’, she said going towards him ,’’ don’t you think you’re getting a bit old?’’ ’’It’s not funny! That has been the fifth time that someone has stolen my lunch. And I’m hungry!’’ Minerva looked at him. ’’Always behaving like a child’’, she thought. She looked around. ’’Maybe Fawkes has stolen it and he’s having a little picnic with a friend.’’ ’’Don’t be ridiculous’’, he said going towards his desk and sitting behind it. ’’Well Albus, you can ask him. There he comes.’’ Fawkes flew through the window and sat on his place. He drank some water. Albus looked at his old friend. He could go wherever and whenever he wanted but during the last weeks he had been away a lot and also longer than normally. Could it be? ’’Fawkes, have you stolen my cacao and my sandwiches?’’ Minerva had problems not to laugh while Fawkes looked at him innocently. ’’Fawkes, have you done it? It’s just a question.’’ Albus and Fawkes looked at each other. Finally Fawkes opened his wings and left a confused Albus and a laughing Minerva behind.
Albus looked behind him. Minerva went to his side. ’’I think your friend has a secret’’, she said amused. ’’I have an idea. I order some sandwiches for us, a cacao for you, a tea for me and we’re having lunch. Afterwards we can play a game of chess. So’’, she held out her hand,’’ what do you think of it?’’ He smiled. ’’That sounds lovely, my dear.’’ He took her hand and together they went upstairs to their privat rooms.

[Junora]

wundervoll meine Liebe.

Ich kanns kaum erwarten wie es weiter geht.

Liebe grüße Lottie

[goldencat]

Danke fürs Review.
So here comes more. Hope you enjoy it.



At first she didn’t know where she was. No light could be seen. It was completely dark. Rain drops that were falling let her shiver. Suddenly lightning lighted up the area. Slowly she could see something. She was standing on a field and she could see the big shadows of trees that were standing behind her.
There, far away in the distance was something. She couldn’t really say what it was because it was too dark. But it had an effect on her. It made her moving towards it. She realized that she was no longer walking on grass but on a track that was leading directly towards it. It was still raining yet it wasn’t the rain anymore that let her shiver. She had recognized the track and she knew where it lead her. It let her to the house where she was born and where she had spent her childhood. And at the same time to her darkest memories. The big house was no longer dark. She saw light coming from the windows and heard people talking and laughing.
And suddenly she remembered. She wanted to run, to warn the people, to rescue them. But she couldn’t move. The house that had pulled her was now keeping her away as if an invisible shield was between them that she could not pass.
And then it happened. The house with all the people in it exploded in front of her eyes. She sank onto her knees. She could have saved them all. But she hadn’t done it.
And now everybody was dead.
Again.

He was running through the green grass that was tickling him on his feet. In the distance he saw a lake. That was where he wanted to go so he ran directly towards it. It was a sunny day and no clouds could be seen.
At the shore of the lake he knelt into the green grass and looked at his mirror in the water. A 10 year-old boy with auburn hair and a smile across his face looked back at him. But something was moving deep in the water. Slowly he could see something. Little fish were swimming in there. The smile on his face widened. Why not trying to catch one? Very slowly he stretched out his hand and held it a few inches over the surface of the water. Now he had to wait. But he was too impatient. With a splash his hand shot into the water to catch one. But he had no luck.
Sadly he came to his feet. He wanted to go but he hesitated when he suddenly heard a noise. He came to the conclusion that he was not the only one here as he had thought. His gaze wandered over the lake and the shore. There, on a stone in the low water was sitting a grey tabby cat. Like him she was trying to catch one or two fish. On tip-toes he creeped towards her. Just a little joke, he thought.
Splash! By just having the cat in sight he had not watched where he went and so he was now sitting in the water. He looked up. The cat was now looking directly at him. The fish was forgotten.
However, he could swear that she was laughing but as he knew cats normally don’t laugh. It wasn’t fair, he thought. The cat should be in the water and he should laugh at her. His jokes went always wrong!
Suddenly a fish jumped out of the water. For a moment the cat was unattended yet for him it was enough. He came to his feet, grapped the cat and held her tight in his arms. The cat resisted and tried to get out of his arms. He tried to hold her until….


….until Albus woke. He opened his eyes and saw who wanted to get out of his arms. It was Minerva who was moving. Albus looked at her closely. She was not only moving but also takling and she breathed heavily. Yet he couldn’t understand a word.
´´Minerva? Minerva, wake up´´, he said trying to wake her. He touched her shoulder and suddenly she was sitting upright in bed. Tears were running down her face. Albus sat beside her trying to comfort her. With his hand he was gently stroking her back but it didn’t stop her tears from falling.
´´ I’ve….I’ve seen them….it; I just….´´, she was stuttering under tears. Albus was now holding her. Her head was leaning against his chest. ´´I know my dear, I know.´´ One single tear escaped from his eyes.
Still, after all these years it was hurting them. And it would never stop. They would never forget the day that had almost destroyed their lives.
Slowly Minerva was calming down. They laid down again Albus still holding her. With her head resting on his chest and his arms around her they went back to sleep.
While Minerva had a dreamless sleep Albus couldn't go back to his sweet dream.
He now dreamed of the future that was never meant to be.

[goldencat]

As Albus woke he was alone in bed. On the other side where Minerva was supposed to lie was just her nightgown. He listened yet he heard no noise.
Probably she’s having a walk around the lake as always after these nights, he thought. It wasn’t that often anymore that she dreamed of it, however it affected her more than she admitted. He went out of bed, took a shower and went down to the Great Hall, hoping to find her there. He entered and found her sitting on her usually seat next to him.
While nearly the whole staff table was talking she drank her morning tea in silence. He sat beside her, took his hot chocolate and a toast but hesitated.
From the corner of his eye he observed his wife a bit more closely. She seemed to be a bit tired and more quiet than normally otherwise, for everyone else, she seemed to be as always.
However, Albus was the only one who could look behind her teacher’s mask. Her normally warm green eyes were blank and nearly cold and each time she hold the spoon to stir her tea he could see that her hand was trembling.
This morning, as it was a warm sunny day, nobody seemed to notice except for Albus. She suffered and nobody not even her husband could end it. He knew how this pain felt, how she suffered. Somehow he had learned to deal with this pain, to live with it as he often said to himself.
In reality also nowadays sometimes the pain overcame him. Normally to others it seemed as if he had finished with it and sometimes even Minerva. But he knew better.
She never had.
And she never would.
Suddenly she rose and without looking at somebody she left. Looking at her plate he noticed that she hadn’t eaten anything at all for breakfast. He looked after her and sighed. Maybe she would eat something at least for lunch, he thought. Yet, he wasn’t sure.
Lost in thoughts he didn’t notice the big brown owl that flew directly towards him and landed next to his plate. The owl dropped the letter she had carried and looked at Albus intensively. As he didn’t react she turned towards his toast and started to eat. Finally, he noticed her.
''Stop it! That’s my breakfast!''
But it was too late. His toast was now lying in her stomach and with her big dark eyes she regarded him strangely as if she waited for more.
''Don’t look at me like this! You’ve had already something. Maybe Alastor should give you a better education'', he reprimanded the owl after he had recognized her. She let out a shriek, opened her wings and flew back to her master.
Albus shook his head. That had been quiet friendly of her, he thought and looked at the scar on his left hand where this owl had bitten him one time as he hadn’t been quick enough giving her something to eat for the delivery.
He opened the letter, leaned back in his chair and started to read the letter curiously.

The students had left the room several minutes ago but one lonely figure was still in it. Minerva was sitting behind her desk in the transfiguration classroom. The students had done well today and normally she would be happy about it. But not today.
Time for lunch, she thought. However, she wasn’t hungry at all. But she had to go. Otherwise Albus would search for her because he would be worried. And she didn’t want to give him even more to worry about.
Isolated rays of sunshine were shining through the old windows. It could be such a lovely day, she thought sadly, but the weather cannot cheer me up. Not today.
Finally she rose from behind her desk and made her way towards the Great Hall. She was about to enter when somebody said her name. She turned around so that she was looking directly in his blue eyes.
''How are you today, my dear?'', he asked her knowing she wouldn’t tell him the truth.
''Quite fine. And even a bit hungry'', she told him trying to smile.
''Glad to hear that.'' He smiled back at her and took out the letter from Alastor.
''Alastor has sent me a letter, asking if he could come around tonight as he had been busy the last few weeks. I was about to invite him for dinner. What do you think?''
''Sounds good. Then I’ll think about what to serve tonight'', she whispered when two students passed them.
''If you don’t mind I wanted to invite Poppy, too. She and Alastor are also good friends. And then we males won’t be in the majority'', he added with a grin.
''Fine.''
''So, I just send off a letter to Alastor. I’ll join you in a few minutes.''
''See you then'', and with these words she left him.
Albus made his way back to his office. Her reaction hadn’t surprised him. Yet he was glad it happened rarely. Maybe it will distract her from it, he thought.
He wasn’t quite sure it would work but at least he hoped.

Dinner had been delicious and now the four were sitting in the living room each with a glass of wine. They were talking about the latest rubbish the new minister of magic had done and everybody, even Minerva, were enjoying it. At least a bit. She had been the perfect hostess as always but both Poppy and Alastor had noticed that something was different about Minerva today.
After a while Albus rose from his armchair.
''Would anyone join me for a walk?'', he asked around.
Minerva and Poppy decided to stay as Poppy had arrived late in the afternoon after a two day conference about new healing methods. But Alastor agreed to accompany him.
''So that the Ladies have a bit of time for themselves'', Alastor had said as they left.
The two wizards went out of the castle without meeting anybody. It was nearly completely quiet. Not even Peeves was up to something tonight. It was just as they choosed the way towards the lake as Alastor spoke.
''She had dreamed of it again, hasn’t she?''
''Yes she has'', Albus answered him, ''but as always she pretends as if it wouldn’t affect her. However, I know how she still feels about it.''
He sighed. They reached the lake where the moon threw a silver light onto the lake. It was nearly midnight.
''And you?'' Alastor looked at his old friend who was staring at the moon.
''I’ve learned to live with it. As good as it is possible to live with such a…. with such a happening.''
Alastor wasn’t quite sure about his words. He had been affected as well and for him it wasn’t easy to forget it. Even sometimes talking about it was still quiet difficult.
Nevertheless, he couldn’t imagine the pain that Albus and Minerva had felt during this time. If he was honest he didn’t want to know. As he followed Albus’ gaze he reminded himself of the night when he had seen his old friend doing one thing for the first time:
Crying.





So, like it, hate it, love it, something for the bin? Please tell me.

[Twisted Peppermint]

Love love LOVE IT!! Please continue!

[phantomgirl]

Very Mysterious! I can't wait to find out what happens next! Please update soon

[goldencat]

phantomgirl&misunderstood: Thanks for your lovely reviews.

So, here comes more.



About 10 years ago


Alastor Moody apparated in front of his house. It was nearly midnight and the stars and the moon were overcast by big dark clouds. This way, the night seemed even darker.
´´One time´´, he thought on his way to the front door, ´´Why can’t they do it right? Just one time!´´
The last weeks he had been teaching some young witches and wizards who wanted to become Aurors. Saying it was difficult was quite played down. So he was glad that it was just for a couple of weeks.
He opened the door and stepped inside.
´´Living alone has its advantages´´, he thought, ´´No arguments about the household, about working so much and coming home so late.´´
But deep inside he missed someone.
Her name was Christie McGonagall.
She was the older sister of Minerva McGonagall who was married to Albus Dumbledore, one of his oldest and most trusting friends. He had been together with Christie for about five years and he had even thought about marrying her.
At the end all these discussions about his working hours had burdened their relationship so much that Christie had ended it. He really missed her a lot but his job meant a lot to him, too.
She had asked him, her or his job and when he hadn’t answered she had packed her things and had gone back to her parents’ house. He still loved her but had no idea how to win her back. However, he was thinking about it now for four months.
He went upstairs and directly to bed. He was nearly asleep when suddenly in a ball of flames a phoenix appeared. But not just anybody.
It was Fawkes, who had decided a long time ago to stay with Albus. Alastor sat upright in bed immediately. Not just that Fawkes had surprised him but Alastor knew that something wasn’t right.
And he should be right about it.
Fawkes flew over to him and sat beside him. He dropped the letter Albus had given him and looked at him.
There was something in the Phoenix’ expression that alarmed him, even scared him. He had never seen this beautiful bird like that before yet he was pretty sure he wasn’t mistaken.
Fawkes was looking sad.
Alastor opened the letter quickly and read it.
Just four words were written:

McGonagall Manor
At once!

He jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs while Fawkes disappeared in the same way he had arrived. In front of his house he apparated. Inevitably he closed his eyes, afraid of the sight. After a few seconds he opened them.
In front of him was standing Albus. Alastor took a few steps until he was standing side by side with his old friend. In front of them there was supposed to be a large old house, surrounded by a garden with beautiful flowers and apple-trees.
Suddenly the clouds released the moon and his light revealed the whole horror.
A sight greeted him, not even imaginable in his nightmares.
The house, the garden and the people living there were no more.
In front of the two wizards was a crater.
He couldn’t believe his eyes and looked at Albus. And this abandoned his last hope.
Tears were running down Albus’ face and he was staring at the once lovely place.
Finally, after a few minutes Albus spoke.
´´Minerva is in the hospital wing at Hogwarts.´´ He stopped for a moment.
´´It had been a gift of her father. We could have an evening for ourselves and he would look after her. Of course with all the others behind him. It was ought to be a romatic evening but…´´.
His voice failed. More tears ran down his cheeks.
Alastor didn’t know what to feel, what to say or how to react. He was too shocked. Slowly he realized what had happened.
He had lost her. Never having a chance to say that he was sorry. Never again her sweet smile or her melodic voice.
One last time he looked at Albus and realized:

He had lost his love.
His two friends had lost everything.





So, what do you think about it?

[goldencat]

After a short pause of writing...




“So, do you want some tea?”, Minerva rose from the couch.
“Tea would be lovely”, Poppy answered her while Minerva was already in the kitchen preparing everything.
She could have called a house-elf to bring some. However, it didn’t wonder Poppy. Minerva sometimes preferred to do it herself. Meanwhile she could think, let her mind wander until the water was heated and she could put the tea bags in it. These were one of her rare calm moments as her work and the responsibility demanded a lot of her.
For others the importance of that action would sound silly. For Minerva it meant so much more. It had also been a habit of her father. One of the most important persons in her life. And just like he had done it she preserved this tradition.
Carrying one cup in each hand Minerva came back and handed one over to Poppy. Hot steam leapt to meet her. She took the cup in her hands and waited.
“How has the conference been, Poppy? Have you learned something interesting?”
Minerva leant back while Poppy told her about new spells and how one of the healers had tried to win her for a date.
“Nearly the whole conference he stayed by my side. It was so annoying. He was worser than a limpet. Additionally he was talking incessantly. Sometimes I couldn’t even finish my sentence.” She paused one moment.
“Besides, he didn’t even look good.”
A grin spread across the women’s faces.
“Do you want some more tea?”, Minerva asked after a while, “For safety I’ve made a whole pot.”
Poppy nodded and Minerva went towards the kitchen. Poppy sighed. She had noticed Minerva’s distraction right from the beginning and while she had told about the conference she had seen that Minerva hadn’t listened as attentive as she was normally. Some time in between her gaze had rested on the dancing flames in the fire-place and she had seemed to be far away.
Nevertheless Poppy couldn’t reproach her. She couldn’t see it everytime. Often Minerva could hide her real emotions behind her mask that she had built up after all that.
As she had talked about it with Albus she knew of it. Otherwise she would probably not know of it as Minerva was a good actress.
They were best friends right from the beginning of their first year at Hogwarts. From then on they had done nearly everything together. From learning until the middle of the night for their exams to sharing an appartement while they were studying in London. Nevertheless they had never really talked about it.
But how should she trust her best friend if she didn’t even trust her husband?
Left in her thoughts Poppy travelled back in time, remembering what had taken place about 10 years ago.


Poppy Pomfrey was sitting at her desk in her office. A half-written article for a medicin magazine was lying in front of her. With her head resting on her hands and a quill lying beside her she looked at her already done work.
She had spent five hours on it and now it was midnight. The only light were a few candles that were bathing her room in dim light. She was tired and she knew that it would be better to write it with a fresh mind and some food lying in her stomach.
Any way, she stayed.
After a while she took her gaze off the paper. Just two candles were still burning but soon they would be out, too.
Being beaten by fate she rose , blew out the last two candles and took the way to her chambers. She was about to close the doors to the Hospital Wing when she heard steps and suddenly someone rounded the corner.
Poppy froze immediately when she recognized who was still awake like her.
It was Albus with an unconscious Minerva lying in his arms. He passed her and lay Minerva on the first bed.
Poppy needed a few seconds to realize the situation. But then her healer reflexes set in and she ran towards the bed. She looked from Albus to Minerva and tried to guess what had happened.
Both were pale, Minerva even more than Albus. He was standing beside her holding her hand. Poppy observed him more closely. His hands were trembling and his eyes had lost their twinkle.
In his eyes were just pain, sadness and helplessness. She had never seen him like this before and that was why she was afraid of his answer.
“What has happened?”
She could tell he was fighting with himself. He was still holding Minerva’s hand but didn’t respond. Not waiting for his answer Poppy cast a few spells to check on Minerva. She had just gotten the results when Albus spoke with shaky voice.
“They’re all dead. They’ve all been in the house when….when it happened. Even….even our little girl.”
He paused one moment.
“Seeing that the house didn’t exist anymore had been too much for her.”
Poppy didn’t look at his face, otherwise she would have seen one tear running down his cheek.
She couldn’t. She had to give them more pain and especially because they were her friends she didn’t know how to tell them.
Their hearts had already been broken this night. But her words would shatter them into pieces.
“Poppy, what’s wrong with her?”
Albus had noticed her hesitation. She tried to held a normal, a professional face; but her body betrayed her. A few tears escaped her eyes and before she had a chance to wip them away Albus had already seen it.
“For goodness sake, Poppy! Tell me! Are the twins fine?”
Her heart nearly broke for her two friends. Although she always tried to regard her cases neutrally and professionally she couldn’t this time. Her gaze was fixed on the floor and all she could do was shaking her head.
They just stood there. It seemed like hours. But it were just minutes.
The longer they stood the more Poppy realised what had happened. She could feel the pain, but not theirs.
No parents should ever have the duty to carry their child to its grave. However, they couldn’t even do this.
After a while Albus spoke.
“Make sure she doesn’t wake until morning. I have to go.”
Poppy nodded and saw how he squeezed Minerva’s hand one last time. She still avoided his gaze.
After his leave, she searched one potion and made sure Minerva drank all.
A dream-less potion.
Poppy sat on the bed next to her friend.
As she couldn’t sleep, she just sat there in the darkness and watched over her sleep.
She couldn’t do more at the moment.



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Everything's welcome.