Post by maritelske on Jan 24, 2006 6:07:31 GMT -5
Disclaimer: Just a piece of (some what) light-hearted fluff that grabbed me by the sleeve and would not leave me alone until I wrote it. I own nothing. JK Rowling owns it all.
The sun had set into a band of golden orange and a milk-pink glow, melting into the distance and leaving a blanket of darkness across the Hogwarts castle.
It’s beauty brought no solace for Minerva McGonagall, who stood by her window watching out until there was nothing more to see – her face gaunt. World-weary, she turned away from the frosted glass and returned back to her office.
It felt a lifetime since the fall of Grindelwald. In actual fact, it had been just weeks. Before hand, tensions had risen – not only politically, but emotionally. Minerva had found herself lost in the eyes of a man she could never hope to return her love. Albus Dumbledore was too powerful, too famous. Now he was even more so, ever since his defeat of the Dark Wizard.
She found herself entirely lost in a whirl-wind of publicity and media attention, when all she really wanted to do was hide.
Albus Dumbledore was in a similar state. His new status forced him to be everywhere else other than the one place he wanted to be. Hogwarts was his home, and though he travelled far – he had left his heart in the hands of none other than his young transfiguration teacher. For her, his heart bled.
He had suffered knowing she remained behind while he disappeared into the night, and so it was with a faint smile and a heavy heart that he returned to her chambers that night. She was his first stop since returning back to Hogwarts and the only person he longed to see.
Hoping more than anything that she was not already sleep, he muttered the password and walked idly into her chambers.
“Albus?” Minerva looked up in shock, quickly pulling her tartan dressing gown around her tightly. With a faint blush, she stood hurriedly – the usually unflappable professor lost for words.
“I am sorry my dear for the late arrival, but I had to know… have you been thinking about what I said?” She sighed heavily, the lines under her eyes a clear indication that she had been thinking about his words. Every breath. Every heartbeat. Over and over, relentlessly in her mind.
She had been terrified of facing this confrontation ever since.
“Albus, I love you more than anything else on earth… but I can’t marry you. Maybe if it was just you, but it’s not. It’s your role in society, it’s the press, the maniacal publicity… You’d be confining me to a life in the shadows. For all your enemies, we would have to keep this a secret. And I can’t do that. I can’t deny how I feel Albus, not to you – certainly not to the world”
He sighed, his blue eyes filled with watery tears that he willed not to fall, his hands tense – his shoulders hunched.
“I was afraid you would say that”
“Flying away into the night with you sounds like the most romantic thing in the world… and also the most impossible” Her words were broken, strained – as her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears, “I can’t lie. I can’t do it” She whispered, her voice little more than a blind admission of love into the darkness.
Instantly, he took her into his arms, kissing the top of her head repeatedly, giving her – giving them both – the comfort they had so longed for.
As he held her, Minerva grasped his robs in her tight fists, her nails digging into her chest. The feeling barely registered in his mind – the anguish of having her rejection bearing a far stronger wound.
“If I could start my life over…” She inhaled deeply, struggling to find the courage to speak, “I would start it with you”
Muffled, her voice was barely audible. But he heard every word.
And hours later, when she was sated and had fallen into a restless sleep, he left her – disappearing once again, broken hearted and alone.
- - -
It was some weeks later, when the first light of spring began to descend upon the walls of the castle that Minerva first smiled. She had found it increasingly hard to do so lately, thinking of everything she had stood to gain – and everything she had so suddenly lost.
She had not seen Albus, except in the professional sense, since that night. She hadn’t wanted to either. One look into his eyes and her whole world came crashing down. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled and her eyes shone with a love she could not hide, try as she might.
Yet Albus always noticed, and always wished that somehow things could be different.
It was when their eyes met at breakfast early one morning that Minerva smiled. Seeing him no longer brought her grief – instead it gave her hope. She had been so head-strong, so unwilling to forfeit her freedom. She was only young – she had the world at her feet.
But she didn’t want to explore that world if she didn’t have Albus by her side. It was when that realisation dawned on her – the thought of not waking up beside him every morning, of not hearing his words of love and of support – that she realised she had been wrong all along.
“Good morning Professor” She whispered, almost inaudibly, as he assumed his seat next to her.
“Good morning, Minerva” Albus smiled at her, though the smile did not reach his cloudy blue eyes. It was a smile that, to any other, would seem sincere. To her it seemed fake and entirely wrong.
“Are you busy this afternoon?” She murmured under her breath, so quietly that he was not sure if he had heard her correctly. He eyed her carefully before replying.
“After four pm, I am quite free”
“Perfect. I shall see you then” She smiled softly, twisting her hands in her lap. Their gaze was broken by Professor Flitwick who, in a tiny, squeaky voice, piped up;
“Uh… would you please pass the milk?”
- - -
Albus was as confused as ever. Had she not, only weeks ago, said she could not face a lifetime of lies? He wondered what more there was to say.
It was sometime after he had pondered this thought that he heard footsteps up to his chambers, undoubtedly hers. For a moment, his heart seemed to stop. He wondered how it was possible to be so in love with someone, when all he could think of was how it would hurt her to keep their marriage a secret, to keep her hidden from the world.
Perhaps it was not the best option, but it was the safest. Keeping her hidden seemed a vast deal less painful than losing her at the wand of an enemy.
“Hello” She smiled, her voice soft and soothing to the pain he felt.
“I was not sure you were coming”
“I know, I’m sorry. I just wished to be vague considering where we were…”
“Yes” Albus agreed, wishing he could say something more, but still not sure why she was there.
“You know uh…” Minerva began, rather nervously, as she ran her hands across his great, wooden desk, “I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. About you, about us” She looked up at her, meeting his gaze with nothing but honesty in her eyes, “And I can’t stop thinking about you Albus. The thought of keeping our relationship hidden would hurt me greatly, but it would hurt be a vast deal more to not be with you. I can not bare it any longer”
“What are you saying Minerva?” He raised one eyebrow, not allowing himself to hope for the best just yet.
“I am saying yes… a thousand times yes. Yes I will be your wife, yes I will have your children, yes I will stand by you no matter what – in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in secret or in the open. It doesn’t matter to me. All I want to do is be with you”
The tears were flowing freely as they met in a delicious, toe-curling kiss – one that warmed their hearts and freed their souls.
“I am so sorry I hurt you” whispered Minerva as their lips met once again, her arms curling around his neck.
“My dear, none of that matters anymore. I love you more now than ever. I can no longer imagine my life without you Minerva” His eyes bore down into hers, baring into her very core. With a breathless smile, she pulled him towards her once more.
- - -
“What a fool I was” Minerva grinned as she turned the pages in one of their many well-thumbed photo albums. Her fingers ran across a twenty-four year old photo of the two of them on their wedding day. There had been only their closest friends present – members of the order, Aberforth, Minerva’s sister, family who would not dare breathe a word. And yet it had been one of the most perfect days of their lives, topped only by the births of their three children - Nikolas, Willem and Madeliene.
“A beg your pardon dear?” Albus stuck his head from out of their cupboard where he had been ferreting around, looking for a clean dress robe for his meeting at the ministry.
“Never mind” She smiled, placing the photo album down on the bed, “I was only reminiscing”
“Ah, a very wise preoccupation” His voice was muffled from inside the mountains of their clothing, “Ah ha!” He cried, pulled out a midnight blue dress robe, “Found it” He grinned triumphantly at her and Minerva laughed, standing up to kiss him, “Have I told you today that I love you?”
“Hmm… now I don’t know?” Minerva replied, smiling as she curled her arms around his neck.
Soon the dress robe, and the photo album, lay forgotten on the floor.
- - -
And I pray for the heart,
And I pray for the nerve,
To help me through,
Find the way,
Oh the thought,
The thought of another day without you…
I’m not strong.
[Marcia Howard]
And I pray for the nerve,
To help me through,
Find the way,
Oh the thought,
The thought of another day without you…
I’m not strong.
[Marcia Howard]
The sun had set into a band of golden orange and a milk-pink glow, melting into the distance and leaving a blanket of darkness across the Hogwarts castle.
It’s beauty brought no solace for Minerva McGonagall, who stood by her window watching out until there was nothing more to see – her face gaunt. World-weary, she turned away from the frosted glass and returned back to her office.
It felt a lifetime since the fall of Grindelwald. In actual fact, it had been just weeks. Before hand, tensions had risen – not only politically, but emotionally. Minerva had found herself lost in the eyes of a man she could never hope to return her love. Albus Dumbledore was too powerful, too famous. Now he was even more so, ever since his defeat of the Dark Wizard.
She found herself entirely lost in a whirl-wind of publicity and media attention, when all she really wanted to do was hide.
Albus Dumbledore was in a similar state. His new status forced him to be everywhere else other than the one place he wanted to be. Hogwarts was his home, and though he travelled far – he had left his heart in the hands of none other than his young transfiguration teacher. For her, his heart bled.
He had suffered knowing she remained behind while he disappeared into the night, and so it was with a faint smile and a heavy heart that he returned to her chambers that night. She was his first stop since returning back to Hogwarts and the only person he longed to see.
Hoping more than anything that she was not already sleep, he muttered the password and walked idly into her chambers.
“Albus?” Minerva looked up in shock, quickly pulling her tartan dressing gown around her tightly. With a faint blush, she stood hurriedly – the usually unflappable professor lost for words.
“I am sorry my dear for the late arrival, but I had to know… have you been thinking about what I said?” She sighed heavily, the lines under her eyes a clear indication that she had been thinking about his words. Every breath. Every heartbeat. Over and over, relentlessly in her mind.
She had been terrified of facing this confrontation ever since.
“Albus, I love you more than anything else on earth… but I can’t marry you. Maybe if it was just you, but it’s not. It’s your role in society, it’s the press, the maniacal publicity… You’d be confining me to a life in the shadows. For all your enemies, we would have to keep this a secret. And I can’t do that. I can’t deny how I feel Albus, not to you – certainly not to the world”
He sighed, his blue eyes filled with watery tears that he willed not to fall, his hands tense – his shoulders hunched.
“I was afraid you would say that”
“Flying away into the night with you sounds like the most romantic thing in the world… and also the most impossible” Her words were broken, strained – as her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears, “I can’t lie. I can’t do it” She whispered, her voice little more than a blind admission of love into the darkness.
Instantly, he took her into his arms, kissing the top of her head repeatedly, giving her – giving them both – the comfort they had so longed for.
As he held her, Minerva grasped his robs in her tight fists, her nails digging into her chest. The feeling barely registered in his mind – the anguish of having her rejection bearing a far stronger wound.
“If I could start my life over…” She inhaled deeply, struggling to find the courage to speak, “I would start it with you”
Muffled, her voice was barely audible. But he heard every word.
And hours later, when she was sated and had fallen into a restless sleep, he left her – disappearing once again, broken hearted and alone.
- - -
It was some weeks later, when the first light of spring began to descend upon the walls of the castle that Minerva first smiled. She had found it increasingly hard to do so lately, thinking of everything she had stood to gain – and everything she had so suddenly lost.
She had not seen Albus, except in the professional sense, since that night. She hadn’t wanted to either. One look into his eyes and her whole world came crashing down. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled and her eyes shone with a love she could not hide, try as she might.
Yet Albus always noticed, and always wished that somehow things could be different.
It was when their eyes met at breakfast early one morning that Minerva smiled. Seeing him no longer brought her grief – instead it gave her hope. She had been so head-strong, so unwilling to forfeit her freedom. She was only young – she had the world at her feet.
But she didn’t want to explore that world if she didn’t have Albus by her side. It was when that realisation dawned on her – the thought of not waking up beside him every morning, of not hearing his words of love and of support – that she realised she had been wrong all along.
“Good morning Professor” She whispered, almost inaudibly, as he assumed his seat next to her.
“Good morning, Minerva” Albus smiled at her, though the smile did not reach his cloudy blue eyes. It was a smile that, to any other, would seem sincere. To her it seemed fake and entirely wrong.
“Are you busy this afternoon?” She murmured under her breath, so quietly that he was not sure if he had heard her correctly. He eyed her carefully before replying.
“After four pm, I am quite free”
“Perfect. I shall see you then” She smiled softly, twisting her hands in her lap. Their gaze was broken by Professor Flitwick who, in a tiny, squeaky voice, piped up;
“Uh… would you please pass the milk?”
- - -
Albus was as confused as ever. Had she not, only weeks ago, said she could not face a lifetime of lies? He wondered what more there was to say.
It was sometime after he had pondered this thought that he heard footsteps up to his chambers, undoubtedly hers. For a moment, his heart seemed to stop. He wondered how it was possible to be so in love with someone, when all he could think of was how it would hurt her to keep their marriage a secret, to keep her hidden from the world.
Perhaps it was not the best option, but it was the safest. Keeping her hidden seemed a vast deal less painful than losing her at the wand of an enemy.
“Hello” She smiled, her voice soft and soothing to the pain he felt.
“I was not sure you were coming”
“I know, I’m sorry. I just wished to be vague considering where we were…”
“Yes” Albus agreed, wishing he could say something more, but still not sure why she was there.
“You know uh…” Minerva began, rather nervously, as she ran her hands across his great, wooden desk, “I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. About you, about us” She looked up at her, meeting his gaze with nothing but honesty in her eyes, “And I can’t stop thinking about you Albus. The thought of keeping our relationship hidden would hurt me greatly, but it would hurt be a vast deal more to not be with you. I can not bare it any longer”
“What are you saying Minerva?” He raised one eyebrow, not allowing himself to hope for the best just yet.
“I am saying yes… a thousand times yes. Yes I will be your wife, yes I will have your children, yes I will stand by you no matter what – in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in secret or in the open. It doesn’t matter to me. All I want to do is be with you”
The tears were flowing freely as they met in a delicious, toe-curling kiss – one that warmed their hearts and freed their souls.
“I am so sorry I hurt you” whispered Minerva as their lips met once again, her arms curling around his neck.
“My dear, none of that matters anymore. I love you more now than ever. I can no longer imagine my life without you Minerva” His eyes bore down into hers, baring into her very core. With a breathless smile, she pulled him towards her once more.
- - -
“What a fool I was” Minerva grinned as she turned the pages in one of their many well-thumbed photo albums. Her fingers ran across a twenty-four year old photo of the two of them on their wedding day. There had been only their closest friends present – members of the order, Aberforth, Minerva’s sister, family who would not dare breathe a word. And yet it had been one of the most perfect days of their lives, topped only by the births of their three children - Nikolas, Willem and Madeliene.
“A beg your pardon dear?” Albus stuck his head from out of their cupboard where he had been ferreting around, looking for a clean dress robe for his meeting at the ministry.
“Never mind” She smiled, placing the photo album down on the bed, “I was only reminiscing”
“Ah, a very wise preoccupation” His voice was muffled from inside the mountains of their clothing, “Ah ha!” He cried, pulled out a midnight blue dress robe, “Found it” He grinned triumphantly at her and Minerva laughed, standing up to kiss him, “Have I told you today that I love you?”
“Hmm… now I don’t know?” Minerva replied, smiling as she curled her arms around his neck.
Soon the dress robe, and the photo album, lay forgotten on the floor.
loved it! 
