Post by Karlynne on Feb 3, 2005 4:51:54 GMT -5
For Kassie: Thanks for finding the courage to destroy fantasies. Karlie
I’ve Never Been to Me
The wails of thirteen-month-old Diana Dumbledore pierced every corner of the house. It was nearly three a.m. and Minerva had tried for the past hour to comfort her child without success. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she rocked the squalling infant. At twenty-four she wondered how her life could have strayed so far from the path she had chosen to lead.
Seven years ago she had been the top student of her graduating class at Hogwarts, the student most likely to succeed. She had been accepted into the foremost wizarding university in Britain and breezed through three years with resounding praise from every professor fighting to have her in class. Everyone had wanted to claim a part of her brilliance; she had raised the bar and pushed each instructor to his limit as they struggled to stay ahead of her.
Minerva could not decide what to do after university but she had time to ponder. She spent the entire summer after graduation exploring several possibilities and decided a career in teaching would suit her and satisfy her insatiable need for knowledge.
She had approached Albus Dumbledore and offered to student teach under him in hopes she would gain a position at Hogwarts in the near future. She had taken to teaching like a duck to water and had so impressed Albus; he offered to instruct her after classes.
Within six months they had become lovers. The passion within them burned intensely and blazed through the rest of the school year. They spent the summer poring over tomes and expanding their knowledge of not just Transfigurations but Potions, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Ancient Runes. Albus and Minerva woke each morning eager to push each other to the limits.
She hadn’t returned to Hogwarts in the autumn. She had agreed to undergo animagus training and afterwards wrote and published several articles for educational periodicals. She visited Albus on weekends and occasionally during the week but the Swedish Ministry of Magic wanted her to teach and was pestering her constantly with Owls pressing for an interview.
The week after she returned from her interview she had discovered she was pregnant. Naturally Albus insisted they marry and since she loved him despite the fame resting on his shoulders, she agreed. They had married secretly so his enemies would not attempt to harm her or the baby.
She could not reside at Hogwarts with the baby nor would Albus allow her to teach anymore. Housekeeping had not come easily to her. The chores were monotonous and she was without any of her family for help or advice.
Motherhood was not the fulfilling role she had understood it would be. Her daughter was fretful and not easily soothed. She missed the company of her peers. The wizarding world was at war along with the muggle world and she was alone. Albus left to fight Grindewald and she worried for weeks until news of Albus’ victory over the dark lord reached her ears.
She was not included in the round of parties and celebrations to announce the end of the war. She gritted her teeth at pictures of Albus in the Daily Prophet with a buxom blonde on his arm or a brunette planting a kiss on his cheek. Diana was a year old now and Minerva thought it time to enter the workforce. She had stayed awake after Diana finally fell asleep and firecalled Albus.
Albus refused. He wanted her home until Diana was ready for primary school if not Hogwarts. Their fight became bitter as she yelled at him through the fireplace. His private rooms at Hogwarts had already been spelled with a silencing charm so their was no fear Minerva would be overheard by prying ears, nor would anyone hear Albus’ own raised voice. There was an unexpected post open at Hogwarts and Minerva would be the perfect candidate but she didn’t understand the importance of normalcy in their daughter’s life. Did Minerva really wish to leave the child to be raised by nannies and house elves? He abruptly ended the argument by closing his flue and Minerva’s furious face disappeared.
She had never been so angry. Within moments she had packed a few belongings for herself and packed a bag for Diana filled with nappies, clothes, and toys. Without a backwards glance she slammed the door and headed towards King’s Cross. She would leave him. Yes, she would take Diana to him and never see him again.
The train station was packed with travelers loaded down with overflowing carts and trolleys. She made her way to a bench and gratefully took a seat. The holiday season was nearly upon them and the lines were long. She would have to see about getting a ticket but for now she needed to rest. Diana had decided to fall asleep and with so many muggles around she couldn’t perform any magic to lighten her own load.
An elderly woman dressed in tweeds took a seat beside her. Minerva scooted over to make room and made eye contact with her.
Minerva’s green eyes bore into the woman’s brown eyes and she felt a pull in her heart. This woman had lived. Her eyes spoke of adventures, excitement, and opportunities taken. She finally tore her eyes away but the woman began to speak.
Verse One:
Hey lady, you lady cursing at your life, you’re a discontented mother and a rich invented wife. I’ve no doubt you dream abut the things you never do. But I wish someone had a talk to me like I want to talk to you.
I’ve been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run. Took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun. But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free. I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.
Minerva glared at the woman for presuming to know her and began gathering her belongings. She would go to the ticket agent’s office and purchase her fare to the nearest town to Hogsmeade. She was about to stand when the woman spoke again.
Verse Two:
Please lady, please lady, don’t just walk away cause I have this need to tell you why I’m all alone today. I can see so much of me still living in your eyes. Won’t you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies?
Oh, I’ve been to Nice and the Isle of Greece while I sipped champagne on a yacht. I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed them what I’ve got. I’ve been undressed by kings and I’ve seen some things that a woman is not supposed to see. I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.
Voice over: Hey? You know what paradise is? It’s a lie. A fantasy recreated by people and places, as we’d like them to be. But you know what truth is? It’s that little baby you’re holding and it’s that man you fought with this morning, the same one you’re going to make love with tonight. That’s truth, that’s love.
Verse Three:
Sometimes I’ve been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete. But I, I took the sweet life and never knew I’d be bitter from the sweet. I spent my life exploring, the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free. Hey lady, I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.
Minerva watched the tears roll down the woman’s wrinkled face, fished out a handkerchief, and handed it to her. The woman smiled and accepted wiping her tears away. Minerva looked down at her sleeping child. How much would be lost if she remained? She loved her child. She even loved Albus. But was it enough?
She quietly thanked the woman and left the station. A light snow began to fall and she glanced up at the sky. The sunlight was strong although it gave no heat. It took nearly an hour to return home but she was in no hurry. There was no one there for her.
The front door opened without bidding and she looked up puzzled. Albus stood there in his cloak. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he stared in disbelief. He relieved her of the baggage and took Diana from her arms.
Minerva walked through the front room and noticed for the first time the disarray she had left behind. Toys were spread around the room as well as several articles of clothing. The nursery was in a similar state of disorder. Albus laid Diana in the crib and placed the luggage on the floor. Minerva stepped up to him and he wrapped her in his arms.
Years later
Professor McGonagall stared at the performance report Delores Umbridge had written. She saw no reason to explain why she did not begin at the start of term that year. It will be forty years this December since she began teaching at Hogwarts and she never regretted a minute of it. She and Albus had worked out their differences and once they were under the same roof, life became bearable and she found herself thriving. She knew she would never see the unknown muggle woman again but every time she entered King’s Cross she couldn’t help but look for the person that helped her find herself.
I’ve Never Been to Me
The wails of thirteen-month-old Diana Dumbledore pierced every corner of the house. It was nearly three a.m. and Minerva had tried for the past hour to comfort her child without success. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she rocked the squalling infant. At twenty-four she wondered how her life could have strayed so far from the path she had chosen to lead.
Seven years ago she had been the top student of her graduating class at Hogwarts, the student most likely to succeed. She had been accepted into the foremost wizarding university in Britain and breezed through three years with resounding praise from every professor fighting to have her in class. Everyone had wanted to claim a part of her brilliance; she had raised the bar and pushed each instructor to his limit as they struggled to stay ahead of her.
Minerva could not decide what to do after university but she had time to ponder. She spent the entire summer after graduation exploring several possibilities and decided a career in teaching would suit her and satisfy her insatiable need for knowledge.
She had approached Albus Dumbledore and offered to student teach under him in hopes she would gain a position at Hogwarts in the near future. She had taken to teaching like a duck to water and had so impressed Albus; he offered to instruct her after classes.
Within six months they had become lovers. The passion within them burned intensely and blazed through the rest of the school year. They spent the summer poring over tomes and expanding their knowledge of not just Transfigurations but Potions, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Ancient Runes. Albus and Minerva woke each morning eager to push each other to the limits.
She hadn’t returned to Hogwarts in the autumn. She had agreed to undergo animagus training and afterwards wrote and published several articles for educational periodicals. She visited Albus on weekends and occasionally during the week but the Swedish Ministry of Magic wanted her to teach and was pestering her constantly with Owls pressing for an interview.
The week after she returned from her interview she had discovered she was pregnant. Naturally Albus insisted they marry and since she loved him despite the fame resting on his shoulders, she agreed. They had married secretly so his enemies would not attempt to harm her or the baby.
She could not reside at Hogwarts with the baby nor would Albus allow her to teach anymore. Housekeeping had not come easily to her. The chores were monotonous and she was without any of her family for help or advice.
Motherhood was not the fulfilling role she had understood it would be. Her daughter was fretful and not easily soothed. She missed the company of her peers. The wizarding world was at war along with the muggle world and she was alone. Albus left to fight Grindewald and she worried for weeks until news of Albus’ victory over the dark lord reached her ears.
She was not included in the round of parties and celebrations to announce the end of the war. She gritted her teeth at pictures of Albus in the Daily Prophet with a buxom blonde on his arm or a brunette planting a kiss on his cheek. Diana was a year old now and Minerva thought it time to enter the workforce. She had stayed awake after Diana finally fell asleep and firecalled Albus.
Albus refused. He wanted her home until Diana was ready for primary school if not Hogwarts. Their fight became bitter as she yelled at him through the fireplace. His private rooms at Hogwarts had already been spelled with a silencing charm so their was no fear Minerva would be overheard by prying ears, nor would anyone hear Albus’ own raised voice. There was an unexpected post open at Hogwarts and Minerva would be the perfect candidate but she didn’t understand the importance of normalcy in their daughter’s life. Did Minerva really wish to leave the child to be raised by nannies and house elves? He abruptly ended the argument by closing his flue and Minerva’s furious face disappeared.
She had never been so angry. Within moments she had packed a few belongings for herself and packed a bag for Diana filled with nappies, clothes, and toys. Without a backwards glance she slammed the door and headed towards King’s Cross. She would leave him. Yes, she would take Diana to him and never see him again.
The train station was packed with travelers loaded down with overflowing carts and trolleys. She made her way to a bench and gratefully took a seat. The holiday season was nearly upon them and the lines were long. She would have to see about getting a ticket but for now she needed to rest. Diana had decided to fall asleep and with so many muggles around she couldn’t perform any magic to lighten her own load.
An elderly woman dressed in tweeds took a seat beside her. Minerva scooted over to make room and made eye contact with her.
Minerva’s green eyes bore into the woman’s brown eyes and she felt a pull in her heart. This woman had lived. Her eyes spoke of adventures, excitement, and opportunities taken. She finally tore her eyes away but the woman began to speak.
Verse One:
Hey lady, you lady cursing at your life, you’re a discontented mother and a rich invented wife. I’ve no doubt you dream abut the things you never do. But I wish someone had a talk to me like I want to talk to you.
I’ve been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run. Took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun. But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free. I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.
Minerva glared at the woman for presuming to know her and began gathering her belongings. She would go to the ticket agent’s office and purchase her fare to the nearest town to Hogsmeade. She was about to stand when the woman spoke again.
Verse Two:
Please lady, please lady, don’t just walk away cause I have this need to tell you why I’m all alone today. I can see so much of me still living in your eyes. Won’t you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies?
Oh, I’ve been to Nice and the Isle of Greece while I sipped champagne on a yacht. I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed them what I’ve got. I’ve been undressed by kings and I’ve seen some things that a woman is not supposed to see. I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.
Voice over: Hey? You know what paradise is? It’s a lie. A fantasy recreated by people and places, as we’d like them to be. But you know what truth is? It’s that little baby you’re holding and it’s that man you fought with this morning, the same one you’re going to make love with tonight. That’s truth, that’s love.
Verse Three:
Sometimes I’ve been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete. But I, I took the sweet life and never knew I’d be bitter from the sweet. I spent my life exploring, the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free. Hey lady, I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.
Minerva watched the tears roll down the woman’s wrinkled face, fished out a handkerchief, and handed it to her. The woman smiled and accepted wiping her tears away. Minerva looked down at her sleeping child. How much would be lost if she remained? She loved her child. She even loved Albus. But was it enough?
She quietly thanked the woman and left the station. A light snow began to fall and she glanced up at the sky. The sunlight was strong although it gave no heat. It took nearly an hour to return home but she was in no hurry. There was no one there for her.
The front door opened without bidding and she looked up puzzled. Albus stood there in his cloak. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he stared in disbelief. He relieved her of the baggage and took Diana from her arms.
Minerva walked through the front room and noticed for the first time the disarray she had left behind. Toys were spread around the room as well as several articles of clothing. The nursery was in a similar state of disorder. Albus laid Diana in the crib and placed the luggage on the floor. Minerva stepped up to him and he wrapped her in his arms.
Years later
Professor McGonagall stared at the performance report Delores Umbridge had written. She saw no reason to explain why she did not begin at the start of term that year. It will be forty years this December since she began teaching at Hogwarts and she never regretted a minute of it. She and Albus had worked out their differences and once they were under the same roof, life became bearable and she found herself thriving. She knew she would never see the unknown muggle woman again but every time she entered King’s Cross she couldn’t help but look for the person that helped her find herself.
Kandie
(wgich dosn't happen very often with stories!). All I really have to say great job on the wonderful fic! 
