Post by ginger newts on Apr 15, 2005 19:19:38 GMT -5
A/N: This is what happens when you let me listen to country music all evening... It started out with one song, but I couldn’t make the fic long enough, so this is the result: a scary homage to the queen of country music. I also decided to play with you all a bit, so the first person to PM me who can tell me every Reba McEntire reference and song title gets to issue me a challenge for my next fic. 
(Oh, needless to say, I don’t own any of this stuff.)
The Teacher’s Diary
12 June, 1956
Dear Diary,
He’s gone, he actually left last night. I don’t think I really believed he would leave me like that. Our parting was so strange, so quiet. There were no angry words at all, as we carried his trunks down the hall. One by one we strapped them to his broom. There was nothing much for us to say; one last good-bye and he flew away. I watched him fly away, as he faded in the dark. I couldn’t face the night in our lonely bed, so I laid down on the couch instead. I cried myself to sleep, so sure my life wouldn’t go on without him, but this morning the bright sun woke me from slumber and I realized that the world isn’t going to stop.
The clock is still ticking, life goes on. The radio still plays a song as I try to put my scattered thoughts in place. And it took all the strength I have to stumble toward the tea pot, the first of many lonely mornings I’ll have to face. He called to see if I’m okay, I looked out the window and I just said:
“Last night I prayed the Lord my soul to keep. Then I cried myself to sleep, so sure life wouldn’t go on without you. But oh the sun is blinding me, as it wakes me from the dark. I guess the world didn’t stop. For my broken heart.”
I guess the world’s not gonna stop for my broken heart. I’ll have to find a way to move on and live life alone, I know I’ll never have another love like Michael again.
28 November, 1956
Dear Diary,
I’ve been offered a position at Hogwarts, as the Transfiguration teacher. I do believe I’ll accept. I have to get away from this house, from this town, it all reminds me too much of Michael. I saw him last week in Diagon Alley. He said a polite “Hello” and then hurried off to finish his shopping while I felt my heart breaking all over again. I really can’t keep going like this and I believe Hogwarts is exactly the change I need; I’ll be living in a new place and I’ll have plenty of responsibilities to keep my mind off Michael. The students can be my life from now on and with luck I won’t feel the need for love anymore. I better start making preparations, the job begins in a week. Just one more week and I’ll be starting over again, on my own.
1 January, 1957
Dear Diary,
I don’t know what to do about Albus. We’ve been spending more and more time together in the last month as you know. At first I thought he was just being kind to me, showing me the ropes of teaching at Hogwarts, but after last night I’m so confused. There was a New Year’s Eve party in the staff room and Albus and I were sitting by the fire talking quietly. We opened up one more bottle of wine, he told me his story and I thought about mine. He said when he lost her he lost everything. It all started having a familiar ring, so I asked him to take me someplace quiet. We would up at the lake for the rest of the night. Somewhere around the break of day I could hear it coming from a mile away.
I looked deep into his eyes and said, “Don’t say that word, not the one we both heard too much. You may think you do, but you don’t. It’s just the fear of being alone.”
We’ve both been hurt too much. It was so hard to say those words to him, but I knew in my heart that reckless hearts can clear a path wider than a hurricane’s aftermath. We’ve both traveled down that road, where in the name of love anything goes. Like a child in the night with no one to hold you and tell you everything’s gonna be alright. I must admit it’s been fun spending time with Albus, but that’s no reason to jump the gun. If this is real, time will tell, so let me bite my tongue and remind myself: Don’t say that word.
The thing is, diary, I think I do love him.
16 January, 1957
Dear Diary,
I’m so scared. There’s no question in my mind now that I’m in love with Albus, but what if this doesn’t last either? I don’t think I can survive another broken heart. When I came to Hogwarts I decided to lock away my memories of Michael as my one and only love. I set my mind to it, said I wasn’t gonna do it. No how, no sir, no way. I wouldn’t give my heart up. Now all those promises I made to myself are being blown away and it scares me.
I know Albus would never hurt me on purpose, he’s so wonderful in every way. I love his smile, the twinkle in his eyes – his deep blue eyes that remind me of a summer afternoon just after a storm – I love the way his long auburn hair and beard are starting to turn slightly grey, but more like silver than grey. I love his wisdom, his kindness, his general love for life and our students. Albus is a wise and powerful man, considered by most to be a hero and a genius for his defeat of Grindelwald and his discovery of the twelve uses of dragon’s blood respectively, but he has chosen to devote his life to molding the next generation of witches and wizards. It really is amazing. But should I trust him with my heart?
25 March, 1957
Dear Diary,
Last night I finally gave into my feelings for Albus and it couldn’t have been more wonderful. I no longer fear to let myself love him, or to let him love me. I can already tell we’re so good together, this is a love to last through the ages. As you know, we had agreed to take things slowly and see if our feelings lasted before speaking or acting on them after what happened at the new year. So, last night I went to visit with Albus in his rooms and after a time things started to progress to a point where there was only one possible ending. I was afraid for a moment, but I didn’t run away and I’m so glad. I woke up this morning feeling like a whole new person and I really think that this time I’ll be happy. Really happy, forever.
If I could see Michael now, or had the desire to write him a letter, this is what I would say:
“Like a rare piece of crystal, like a fine china cup, I kept your memory all safely locked up. I was afraid I could never love somebody new. I was trying to save what I had left of you. Then he broke your memory last night. I felt it shatter inside, I guess he held me a little too right. He broke your memory last night.
The moment he touched me with his gentle hands, your memory crumbled like a house built on sand. He swept all the pieces of your love away and then gave me his love to put in it's place. Cause he broke your memory last night. I felt it shatter inside, I guess he held me a little too right.
He broke your memory last night.”
Yes, Albus broke the memory of Michael last night. I no longer need to cling to those days as my last days of loving someone. I have another love now, one I think will be far better and last far longer. I’m so glad I didn’t let my fears and my pain hold me back.
The End
(Oh, needless to say, I don’t own any of this stuff.)The Teacher’s Diary
12 June, 1956
Dear Diary,
He’s gone, he actually left last night. I don’t think I really believed he would leave me like that. Our parting was so strange, so quiet. There were no angry words at all, as we carried his trunks down the hall. One by one we strapped them to his broom. There was nothing much for us to say; one last good-bye and he flew away. I watched him fly away, as he faded in the dark. I couldn’t face the night in our lonely bed, so I laid down on the couch instead. I cried myself to sleep, so sure my life wouldn’t go on without him, but this morning the bright sun woke me from slumber and I realized that the world isn’t going to stop.
The clock is still ticking, life goes on. The radio still plays a song as I try to put my scattered thoughts in place. And it took all the strength I have to stumble toward the tea pot, the first of many lonely mornings I’ll have to face. He called to see if I’m okay, I looked out the window and I just said:
“Last night I prayed the Lord my soul to keep. Then I cried myself to sleep, so sure life wouldn’t go on without you. But oh the sun is blinding me, as it wakes me from the dark. I guess the world didn’t stop. For my broken heart.”
I guess the world’s not gonna stop for my broken heart. I’ll have to find a way to move on and live life alone, I know I’ll never have another love like Michael again.
28 November, 1956
Dear Diary,
I’ve been offered a position at Hogwarts, as the Transfiguration teacher. I do believe I’ll accept. I have to get away from this house, from this town, it all reminds me too much of Michael. I saw him last week in Diagon Alley. He said a polite “Hello” and then hurried off to finish his shopping while I felt my heart breaking all over again. I really can’t keep going like this and I believe Hogwarts is exactly the change I need; I’ll be living in a new place and I’ll have plenty of responsibilities to keep my mind off Michael. The students can be my life from now on and with luck I won’t feel the need for love anymore. I better start making preparations, the job begins in a week. Just one more week and I’ll be starting over again, on my own.
1 January, 1957
Dear Diary,
I don’t know what to do about Albus. We’ve been spending more and more time together in the last month as you know. At first I thought he was just being kind to me, showing me the ropes of teaching at Hogwarts, but after last night I’m so confused. There was a New Year’s Eve party in the staff room and Albus and I were sitting by the fire talking quietly. We opened up one more bottle of wine, he told me his story and I thought about mine. He said when he lost her he lost everything. It all started having a familiar ring, so I asked him to take me someplace quiet. We would up at the lake for the rest of the night. Somewhere around the break of day I could hear it coming from a mile away.
I looked deep into his eyes and said, “Don’t say that word, not the one we both heard too much. You may think you do, but you don’t. It’s just the fear of being alone.”
We’ve both been hurt too much. It was so hard to say those words to him, but I knew in my heart that reckless hearts can clear a path wider than a hurricane’s aftermath. We’ve both traveled down that road, where in the name of love anything goes. Like a child in the night with no one to hold you and tell you everything’s gonna be alright. I must admit it’s been fun spending time with Albus, but that’s no reason to jump the gun. If this is real, time will tell, so let me bite my tongue and remind myself: Don’t say that word.
The thing is, diary, I think I do love him.
16 January, 1957
Dear Diary,
I’m so scared. There’s no question in my mind now that I’m in love with Albus, but what if this doesn’t last either? I don’t think I can survive another broken heart. When I came to Hogwarts I decided to lock away my memories of Michael as my one and only love. I set my mind to it, said I wasn’t gonna do it. No how, no sir, no way. I wouldn’t give my heart up. Now all those promises I made to myself are being blown away and it scares me.
I know Albus would never hurt me on purpose, he’s so wonderful in every way. I love his smile, the twinkle in his eyes – his deep blue eyes that remind me of a summer afternoon just after a storm – I love the way his long auburn hair and beard are starting to turn slightly grey, but more like silver than grey. I love his wisdom, his kindness, his general love for life and our students. Albus is a wise and powerful man, considered by most to be a hero and a genius for his defeat of Grindelwald and his discovery of the twelve uses of dragon’s blood respectively, but he has chosen to devote his life to molding the next generation of witches and wizards. It really is amazing. But should I trust him with my heart?
25 March, 1957
Dear Diary,
Last night I finally gave into my feelings for Albus and it couldn’t have been more wonderful. I no longer fear to let myself love him, or to let him love me. I can already tell we’re so good together, this is a love to last through the ages. As you know, we had agreed to take things slowly and see if our feelings lasted before speaking or acting on them after what happened at the new year. So, last night I went to visit with Albus in his rooms and after a time things started to progress to a point where there was only one possible ending. I was afraid for a moment, but I didn’t run away and I’m so glad. I woke up this morning feeling like a whole new person and I really think that this time I’ll be happy. Really happy, forever.
If I could see Michael now, or had the desire to write him a letter, this is what I would say:
“Like a rare piece of crystal, like a fine china cup, I kept your memory all safely locked up. I was afraid I could never love somebody new. I was trying to save what I had left of you. Then he broke your memory last night. I felt it shatter inside, I guess he held me a little too right. He broke your memory last night.
The moment he touched me with his gentle hands, your memory crumbled like a house built on sand. He swept all the pieces of your love away and then gave me his love to put in it's place. Cause he broke your memory last night. I felt it shatter inside, I guess he held me a little too right.
He broke your memory last night.”
Yes, Albus broke the memory of Michael last night. I no longer need to cling to those days as my last days of loving someone. I have another love now, one I think will be far better and last far longer. I’m so glad I didn’t let my fears and my pain hold me back.
The End
) Anyway, just thought I'd give you the answers if you care.
I'm glad she found Albus in the end.