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Post by BlazeFourPaws on Sept 1, 2005 15:58:39 GMT -5
Summary: Minerva deals with feelings at Christmas. HBP Spoilers
Rating: PG13 for drinking Somewhat suicide Angst run rampant
Chapter 1
Authors Note: Enjoy. If enough people like this may be expanded into a series.
It is often hard to express one’s feelings when sober especially if those feelings are about someone you truly love. To be able to tell a man twice your age that you think him perfect in everyway you almost have to get drunk. It probably is much the same for others in the same situation trying to tell those they love their feelings. Every Christmas party I get drunk hoping it will give me the courage to tell him. Yet I can never manage it. Something always gets in the way and now I sit here drunk again and I can’t tell him. I have finally worked up the courage to say those terrifying words and he is not here. He will never be here again. I find myself leaving the party ignoring my colleagues and walking down a pathway to a white tomb by the lake. I sit down ignoring the freezing snow still clutching the bottle of fire whiskey in my hands and stare at the tomb which houses my greatest love. I weep knowing he will never hear me speak the words I never could find the courage to say. I was always so afraid he would push me away and he has but not how I believed he would. My voice shakes and my words are slurred in my alcohol haze as I reach out to stroke the picture engraved upon the tomb.
“Albus I love you.”
I close my eyes and cry even as my body becomes colder in the snow. Life means nothing without love. The last thing I see before I sleep is his smiling face carved upon tomb whiter then the snow that makes my bed.
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Post by Jaya on Sept 1, 2005 17:48:06 GMT -5
Very sad...
But well done... I'd like to see a series....
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Liliykins Too lazy to login
Guest
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Post by Liliykins Too lazy to login on Sept 1, 2005 22:31:45 GMT -5
Devvie!!
You. Go. Write. Now. And if not; I shall have to tiger-pounce you!! ^.^ Good Devvie!!
I like this so far!! Post more!! ^.^
My love always,
Lils
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Post by TartanPhoenix on Sept 1, 2005 22:41:47 GMT -5
Sad, but exceptionally well written. You captured the emotion perfectly. Great job!
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Post by BlazeFourPaws on Sept 1, 2005 23:23:22 GMT -5
Summary: Albus deals with feelings at Christmas. HBP Spoilers
Rating: PG13 for drinking Somewhat suicide Angst run rampant
AN:This is part 2. Leave comments and more shall appear.
Disclaimer:You have all been fooled I'm really Jo but I'm hiding. Nope actually Im poor and they arent mine.
Part two:
I find myself staring at Minerva as she comes to my tomb drunk in her Christmas tradition and I feel my spirit break. She sits in the snow and as I tell her to go inside to the warmth I know it is useless. She cannot hear me now. I wish I could tell her so many things. When a foolish old man falls in love with a woman young enough to be his daughter many things are never said. Now I regret it and these regrets hold me here in a private hell. Perhaps not so private though. She strokes my image and I hear her say words I would have done anything for while alive. Words left too long unsaid and from the vantage of death her yearly ritual makes sense. My soul aches and I watch her lay in the snow staring at an image that is not truly me slowly slipping away as the cold robs her of her vitality. Part of me wishes her to sleep and never awaken in mortal life again so we can be together again. I know however that this is selfish and wrong. She must live. I try and do something anything to reach to her. Yet she is lost in a place of inner cold that even spirits cannot touch. I find the one person who still knows I am here though he does not know just how much I truly am. Sneaking into his thoughts an unseen messenger I whisper for him to go to my tomb. That he is needed. He has always been needed and I would cry if I could for what I have forced this lost boy to do. He walks always Dumbledore’s man listening to that voice in his head that he merely thinks is a bit of himself and finds her. I know it is not too late but he does not. He gathers her in his cloak as I would and I see the pain in a face so like my own. He carries her inside to warmth and I pray that he can show her she is still needed. Even if in my heart of hearts I wish she could be with me.
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Post by Alesia on Sept 2, 2005 10:24:43 GMT -5
How touching. He wants her so much but as always sacrifices and saves her. sniff.
Please keep going.
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Post by QuillofMinerva on Sept 2, 2005 15:37:01 GMT -5
sniffle
will there be more?
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Post by BlazeFourPaws on Sept 2, 2005 17:06:31 GMT -5
Summary: Harry's point of view. Is he more perceptive then most?
Rating:PG13
AN:If you like it keep up the reviews. They give me purpose to write.
Part 3:
I know she misses him we all do. I know more then most that she loved him. I could see it when I think even the greatest wizard of the age was blind. People think I don’t see things. I know how she feels. She lost the person she loved and her best friend in the world. Her world stopped when the only thing that had ever been constant left. I feel the same. A part of me hates him for the lies he told. Yet I know he lied to himself as well. He told himself that she could never love him. How foolish. I watched her shatter after everyone was gone but myself. I said that there could be no Hogwarts without him but that isn’t true. He is still here in us all. Sometimes though I think he is here more then that. It is a feeling that prickles in your head like a legilimens rooting about your mind. It is as if you are walking through a ghost though there are no ghosts about you. A part of me thinks of what Sir Nicholas said when I asked him if Sirius would come back that ghosts had to choose to stay. That they were afraid to die because of something unfinished. I look at Myrtle who wanted revenge on Olive Hornby and Professor Binns who will forever teach because his lectures on the goblin wars were never finished. A part of me wonders if perhaps he is still here just not able to show himself yet. Nothing could be more unfinished then the love between those two. I watch her sleep finally warming up and shake my head. They say that Gryffindor is the house of the brave but they never really watch us when we try and show true emotion.
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Post by BlazeFourPaws on Sept 2, 2005 22:56:31 GMT -5
Summary: Minerva is understanding what it means to be shattered and finds out there is someone to watch over her.
Rating: PG13 still massive spoilers
AN: I am getting slightly addicted to writing this fic. I need encouragement though.
Part 4:
I never knew what the word shattered really meant when it applied to emotion until I lost him. I lie in a warm bed with a boy who too young has been forced to become man watching over me and I am too far gone to even cry. I am shattered and I know not where to find all the pieces. I don’t want to find the pieces. I want to go back into to the snow beside a tomb which is whiter then the beard I always dreamed of burying my face in and lay down again so I can stare at his picture as the cold makes the pain go away. I know faintly that I cannot do this. That the sad eyed boy who held so much upon his shoulders that he has bent will not allow me to die. A part of me knows that the man who lies in a white tomb would not want me to give up but I wish those parts gone. I want to be with him. I want the man who I have loved for so long back. The sad eyed boy reaches out and I realize that I have begun to cry. I am sobbing and he takes me into his arms and holds me as if I was a child. I want to pull away but I cannot make my body respond. It craves the warmth his embrace brings and slowly I relax. He is murmuring to me gently nonsense really but soothing. I close my eyes and imagine a different person holding me and deep inside I hear the gentle words in a voice so familiar yet also so sad.
“Don’t give up my Tabby love.”
Sleep claims me even as the sad eyed boy gathers the covers close never leaving my side.
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Post by Alesia on Sept 2, 2005 22:57:47 GMT -5
I like how you have done Harry. I think this is quite a viable POV for him now that he has grown up more.
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Post by Mellypoo622 on Sept 4, 2005 22:20:15 GMT -5
I loved that you did part of this from Albus's POV! I haven't seen a post HBP fic like that and I really liked it!Very well written!
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Post by Sola on Sept 5, 2005 5:39:43 GMT -5
I really like this, very nice. I hope you go on soon  |
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Post by Jessabelle on Sept 6, 2005 18:38:14 GMT -5
Wow this is really good and very touching! Please write more again soon, very soon.
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Post by tanja on Sept 7, 2005 13:12:35 GMT -5
how wonderful.you really can imagine all points of view.Post more, please
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Post by amandahleigh on Sept 13, 2005 12:54:01 GMT -5
Wow.
That is so. so. so gosh darn sad.
But beautiful.
AL
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Post by LadyJolly on Sept 13, 2005 21:08:18 GMT -5
I hope you write more it's so sad yet I like reading it! I can't really believe that I haven't read this yet. But I do encourage you to continue this story.
Lady Jolly
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Post by Jessabelle on Sept 13, 2005 21:16:38 GMT -5
Please do write more .. and soon! |
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Post by BlazeFourPaws on Sept 15, 2005 21:40:21 GMT -5
Summary: Albus tries to reach his Tabby and a sadeyed Savior.
Rating:Pg13
AN:Sorry that this is short my thoughts are turning more to the next Harry and Minerva parts. This is chapter five and please keep the comments coming. They help my self esteem.
I try and contemplate how I can make contact with the beautiful witch and the sad eyed savior. I am not a ghost but nor am I truly a man. It seems the only ones who can even sense my meager presence are in this very room. I watch her sob into his chest and him awkwardly try to comfort her. I see a solitary tear roll down his cheek as he draws the blankets about them holding her gently. I whisper to her and am surprised when I see a flicker of recognition in her heavy lidded eyes and a faint puzzled frown grace his old young face. I move closer and his eyes widen slightly as I try and touch him. They can feel me. I use all the power I can and beg him to take care of my Tabby. He is drifting to sleep exhausted after his emotional battle. His lips move but no sound comes out but I do not need to hear the words to know.
“I am always Dumbledore’s man.”
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Post by Alesia on Sept 16, 2005 8:06:00 GMT -5
Its good. I liked the last Albus part a lot.
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Post by Jessabelle on Sept 16, 2005 14:45:49 GMT -5
Another really good part, but yes it was short. Please post sooner this time. I cannot wait to see wut you do next.
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Post by tayryn on Sept 17, 2005 22:23:20 GMT -5
i am sorry i have not feedbacked before this...
you are doing a wonderful job with this story... the emotions are very real... heck, you made me tear up!!
i look forward to more!
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Post by QuillofMinerva on Sept 18, 2005 2:11:58 GMT -5
This is a very sad set of stories but I am enjoying them. Keep up the good work Clayre x |
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Post by zoeteproet on Jan 22, 2006 9:07:19 GMT -5
That's so good! I want an update, I agree with QuillOfMinerva: Keep up the good work |
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Post by ismaco on Feb 4, 2006 23:32:35 GMT -5
It's been more than 3 months since your last update. I hope you keep the good work but I wonder if you will ¿? Your story is great! Love, Isabel |
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Post by LinZE on Mar 16, 2006 5:50:46 GMT -5
spectacular.
thank you
xLx
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Post by JKMcGonagall on Mar 16, 2006 7:27:13 GMT -5
This is wonderful, very sad, but wonderful. I had to wipe away tears. I am glad Harry saved Minerva, but I understand her feelings too. Christmas is such a hard time of the year to deal with people being gone.
I hope both of them can comfort each other now. It is great that they are still in tune with Albus, even if they don't recognize it yet.
I can't believe I missed this for so long. I too hope you will continue it, or is it finished? Great story.
Kay
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Post by BlazeFourPaws on Mar 20, 2006 16:50:44 GMT -5
I am currently experiencing a roadblock on this story but I hope to be updating again soon. Thanks to all for the wonderful reviews.
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Post by StormAngel on Dec 9, 2006 0:57:43 GMT -5
omg. I can't believe I didn't review this before. Totalyl nice story. please go on... ~~
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Post by beMMADfabulous on Dec 9, 2006 13:02:39 GMT -5
Ah, wow. Sooo sad and so beautifully written.
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