Funeral Revelations

[muriel2532]

I have re-adopted my own plot bunny and written my first fanfiction ever. Please read and review!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, events and the setting for my story belong to the one and only J.K. Rowling - creator of all things Harry Potter.

Chapter One

Minerva surprises everyone at the funeral ...

Harry still couldn't believe the fact that Dumbledore had died and that Snape had been the one to kill him. The reality of the events just hadn't sunk in yet. Sitting there next to his friends and waiting for the funeral to begin just seemed so surreal to him. He glanced around at the other mourners and was surprised to see that in the front row all the teachers had taken place with the notable exception of the Deputy Headmistress – or rather the new Headmistress. Before Harry could dwell on the question why Minerva McGonagall had not taken her place yet with only minutes to go before the ceremony was about to begin, he heard several people gasp and turned his head back towards the castle to see what had caused the commotion.

Harry was completely taken aback by what he saw then. Minerva McGonagall was walking down towards the lake, holding a little girl on her arm, the girl's head lolling against the professor's chest and a thumb stuck in her mouth. Clutching the professor's left hand was a little boy, hardly more than five years old. The professor's eyes were hidden behind dark muggle sunglasses but as she drew nearer and silently passed through the middle aisle Harry could see that her face was tear stricken. All the while the little boy holding her hand seemed to be speaking to her in a low soothing voice and just as they passed the row where Harry and his friends were seated he heard the little boy murmur „Don't cry mummy.“

Minerva McGonagall took her seat in the front row placing the little girl on her lap and drawing the little boy into a tight hug. Harry could see now that she was crying heavily since her shoulders were shaking terribly. As the ceremony began she seemed to calm down a little. When the table where Dumbledore's body had been placed errupted into flames and was replaced by a white tomb she seemed to have regained her composure. She got up from her seat and walked to the tomb together with the children. Out of thin air she conjured three roses – a deep red one for herself and two white ones for the children. The trio stood in silence for a minute before the professor placed the red rose she had been holding and the little girl's white one on the tomb ushering the boy to do the same with his. When the boy had placed his rose on the tomb his mother softly kissed him on the cheek repeating the gesture with the little girl. Casting a last glance at the tomb she turned around and made her way back up to the castle with her little entourage leaving the rest of the mourners in silent shock.

After the professor had left everybody got up and filed past the tomb paying their last respects to a man who had been so much – teacher, friend, confidant – and had given so much – knowledge, support, advice – to so many people. Yet it seemed that he had been and had given even more to his Deputy. Their relationship which had previously been hidden from everybody's eyes was now painfully evident as the inscription on the tomb read

Albus Dumbledore

Beloved Husband & Devoted Father

You will be in our hearts and on our minds forevermore

Harry was dumbfounded. There had always been rumours among the student population at Hogwart's that maybe their Headmaster and his Deputy were more than just friends, but never in their wildest speculations had it occured to them that they could be married. But all the while they had not only been married but had also had two little children. Harry couldn't even imagine the heartache and despair his professor must be experiencing – faced not only with life without her husband but also with bringing her children up alone.

There might be a flashback coming up describing how Albus and Minerva got together. I have an idea, but I'm not sure yet whether I'll be able to put it into the proper words.

P.S.: English is not my mother-tongue so please forgive me any grammatical or spelling errors!

[EloquentPhoenix]

Your English is really good, so don't worry.

It was so sad, but so sweet at the same time with what was written on his tomb. It was interesting to have it written from an outsiders point of view, and not Minerva's.

I'll definitely read it if you write one about how Albus and Min got together. But it's 'flashback', not 'backflash'.

[muriel2532]

Thanks for reviewing. There had to be a mistake in this one. I modified my post accordingly. Never to old to learn something ...

[muriel2532]

Chapter Two

Minerva remembers how she and Albus finally admitted their feelings ...

Up in the Headmaster's chambers Minerva was sitting on the bed she had shared with the love of her life for the past six years. Leaning against the headboard she was slowly stroking her son's head willing him to fall asleep just as his little sister had drifted off in her arms just minutes before. Sitting there and looking down at her children she thought back at her life together with Albus and tears welled up in her eyes again. They had had so much time together yet so much of it had been wasted because neither of them had thought that the other returned the love they felt. Only six years ago their true emotions had been revealed when in a moment of weakness her loneliness and longing which before had been so well hidden had drifted to the surface...

Six years earlier:

Minerva had been unusually quite during the beginning of term feast. Earlier while the sorting had taken place Albus had seen her looking down at the new students with what appeared to be a look of sadness. When he had looked at her questioningly, she had simply looked away. He hadn't had the time to dwell on the reason for her apparent distress until he had returned to his office.

He had know Minerva for a long time – first as his student, later as his colleague and friend. Yet for him she had been so much more than just a friend for such a long time now. He loved her. He had admitted this to himself years ago, but he had never had the courage to tell her this, fearing she would not return his affection thus ruining the wonderful friendship they shared.

Caring so deeply for Minerva it hurt him to see her upset and in his mind he recalled the sorting ceremony in an effort to discern what might have distressed her so much. It had started when a particularly small boy with auburn hair and bright blue eyes had been sorted into Gryffindor. Minerva's expression had changed all of a sudden – thinking back he thought she almost whinced. And then without warning it hit him – suddenly he recognized that what shone in her eyes wasn't sadness but longing.

He knew that Minerva loved children and even though he had always dreamt of her as the mother of his children, he had never realized that Minerva might not be as content with her role as Head of Gryffindor and „replacement mother“ for her cubs as she made out to be. But he saw it clearly now: the look in her eyes when the little boy had been sorted into Gryffindor had been laced with longing – longing to see her own child on that chair. He recognized the longing now because he felt much the same – he liked his students, but it wasn't the same as having a child of his own. He knew the feeling of emptiness and even though he could not tell her that he loved her he could at least comfort her.

He left his office and walked to Minerva's chambers all the while trying to calm his emotions which were boiling dangerously close to the surface. He had to remind himself that while Minerva might share his loneliness and longing for a family she most certainly did not share his other feelings. True, she was his best friend and his confidant – yet she had always kept a distance otherwise, almost recoiling at even the slightest touch of his.

~ ~ ~

After the ceremony had ended Minerva had returned to her rooms but had not been able to stand the emptiness of her chambers. There was no one there to come home to. The sorting ceremony had been particularly bad this year. She had had bouts of sadness for a few years now whenever the new students arrived. Their arrival always made her painfully aware of the absence of children of her own. But this year it had been worse and she feared that her longing had actually showed on her face. Albus had cast her a questioning glance, but she had quickly averted her eyes. Looking at him had only added to her sadness. She had loved him for such a long time now, but she had never revealed her emotions for fear of rejection and losing the best friend she ever had. She was sure that he saw nothing in her but a friend.

To clear her head and to calm her emotions she decided to take a walk to the lake. She knew it was a mistake the minute she left the castle. Suddenly her last bit of restraint seemed to be gone and tears welled up in her eyes. She hurried towards the lake wanting to get out of sight from the castle before she broke down completely. When she reached the far shore of the lake she sat down hugging her knees and burying her face. The tears flowed freely now and she couldn't put an end to them. She would never have children of her own – she would continuing loving Albus from afar and her heart would break all over again each year when the new students arrived.

~ ~ ~

When Albus had knocked on Minerva's door there had been no answer. After knocking again and softly calling her name without any response he had whispered the password and entered her sitting room to find it deserted. A quick glance in the other rooms had confirmed his suspicion that she wasn't in. Thinking of the distress which had been evident in her eyes barely an hour ago he decided to go looking for her.

He knew that she always came to the far shore of the lake when she had to think something through. He had discovered this years ago because it happenend to be one of his favourite spots as well and he had found her there lost in thought many times. He wasn't surprised therefore to find her sitting by the water's edge. Yet his heart went out to her when he saw that she was sobbing uncontrollably with her head buried in her hands. He couldn't go on like this. He would tell her tonight.

He walked up to her, slowly sitting down beside her. She heard him coming and in vain tried to dry her tears. This was the last thing she had wanted. Yet he simply looked her in the eye, wiping away a single tear rolling down her cheek. Pulling her into a tight hug and stroking her back, he murmured: „It's okay darling. I know. Just let the it all out“. Rocking her gently he held her in his arms until her sobs, which had started again when he had pulled her to him, had subsided. Lifting her head from his shoulder she looked at him questioningly. „You know?“ she asked him in a shaken voice. „I know“, he repeated. „I long for a family as well. Everytime the new students arrive I realize how empty my life is without a wife and children of my own. Yet I have never had the courage to reveal these feelings to the woman I love.“ She looked at him for a moment and then admitted that he had been right, adding that she, too, had never dared to show her feelings to the love of her life for fear of rejection. „He doesn't love me anyway. Who could ever love someone like me?“ she pondered. „I do“, Albus responded. Not taking in the real meaning of what he had said she added after a while: „You should tell her“. „I just did“, he replied. Looking at him again, comprehension slowly dawned on her face and another tear escaped the corner of her eye.

„I'm sorry. Don't cry again. I didn't want to make things worse for you by admitting my feelings. But I just couldn't take it any longer. I thought if nothing else it's always nice if someone tells you I love you.“

She wiped away her tear, a smile more radiant than any he had ever seen crossing her face. „I don't cry because I'm sad – I cry because you've made my happier than I've ever been in my life. I love you, too.“ With that she leaned in to him again kissing him softly. They sat there for a long time kissing and talking about all that should have been said so long ago and painting a picture of their future together.

Much later they walked back up to the castle, their fingers intertwined and looks of complete bliss on their faces. When they reached the portrait which hid the entrance to Minerva's chambers Albus planted a soft kiss on her cheek and said „Good night my love and sweet dreams.“ But Minerva didn't let go of his hand. Mustering all her courage she turned to the portrait, spoke the password and tugged Albus inside with her. There she wrapped her arms around him and whispered into his ear: „I have waited for this too long. I do not want to wait any longer. Don't leave me now. Stay with me tonight and ...“. She didn't get any further since Albus had started to kiss her neck passionately and it wasn't long before their physical desire for each other unleashed itself completely.

They woke the next morning wrapped into each others arms, their legs entangled, with smiles and a new look of contentment on their faces. They knew that whatever the future had in store for them it would be a happier one since they were safe in their love for each other.

Returning her thoughts to the present Minerva felt nothing but emptiness. She felt as though she couldn't breath, as though her heart would be forever clouded in darkness. She knew that she would have to pull herself together soon - if not for herself, then at least for her children. But tonight she would allow herself to succumb to her grief and cry without restraint. Just as she had cried so many years ago ...

I know it's utter tripe, but I liked the idea of a more vulnerable Minerva ...

[littlemorgsi]

I don't think its utter tripe. You nearly made me cry, and yet I don't feel incredibly depressed. (In my opinion this is a good thing).

[muriel2532]

@littlemorgsi:

Thanks for reviewing, I didn't know that my story would turn out to be that touching!

On a different subject: Which part of Australia are you from? I went to school in Taree for a year more than ten years ago and I owe my English skills to that. I still have a very close connection to Australia - it's like a second home to me!

[EloquentPhoenix]

It's not tripe at all, and I can picture this being one of Minerva's vulnerabilities. It was touching and sweet and it really added to the depth of the original piece, I loved it. It was just *happy sigh* But sad too because she has to do it on her own now, which really wasn't the plan for them, but at least she isn't alone.

[muriel2532]

Thanks again for reviewing! I'm glad to hear that you see more depth in this story than I myself was giving it credit for.

I'd love to add a chapter where Minerva faces the school and the inevitable questions of friends and colleagues alike as well as some more flashbacks concerning her relationship with Albus, but I have some hugely important exams coming up at the beginning of June and I should really be studying and not writing fan fiction.

Once I'm through with the exams (or whenever I get some hours away from my desk) I will continue this one.

[EloquentPhoenix]

Gdgd. I understand, I have exams soon too.

I can't wait for the end of June then.

[muriel2532]

Chapter Three

Minerva faces her friends and spills some of her secrets ...

Minerva awoke again just an hour after finally having cried herself to sleep. It was still in the middle of the night. Her daughter was cradled safely in her arms while her son lay spread eagled next to her. Minerva rose slowly, careful not to wake her children. She picked up her little girl and carried her into the nursery, placing her in her cot and tucking her in before returning to her bedroom to put her son into his bed as well. Carrying her fast asleep son was difficult. His limp and relaxed body felt heavier than usual. She would have to get used to this, too, she thought. Up till now it had always been Albus who had carried the children to their beds when they had fallen asleep in their parents' bed.

After returning to her room Minerva once again fell to an uneasy sleep. Her dreams were filled with images of Albus – holding their son's hands while he took his first steps, cradling his new born daughter while imitating the happy gurgeling sounds she made as she grabbed his finger with her tiny hands. There were other images as well – Albus holding her tight, kissing her softly, stroking her tenderly. She woke with a start – she had almost felt his touch and she realized bitterly that it had only been a dream.

Looking at her bedside clock she saw that it was seven in the morning already and decided that there was no point in trying to fall asleep again. Her sleep would be hounded by memories of Albus anyway. She got up and went to the bathroom to inspect her still blotchy looking face. She washed it vigourously with cold water, but it did little to help. After getting dressed she quickly checked on her children to find that they at least were still sound asleep.

Not knowing what to do she finally convinced herself to go to the great hall to get some breakfast. Her children probably wouldn't wake up for a while longer and there was no point in not eating nor in trying to hide from the rest of the staff. The students and the other funeral guests had left shortly after the ceremony had ended the day before and only the teachers would be down in the great hall now.

When she entered the great hall the animated conversations which had been going on between her colleagues suddenly ceased. They were looking at her with surprise but also with faces full of questioning and sorrow. As she reached the high table her friends Poppy, Pomona and Rolanda took turns in hugging her tightly without saying a word while Professor Flitwick squeezed her hand encouragingly. Hagrid whose eyes had filled with tears as soon as she had entered the great hall turned away from her trying to dry his face and compose himself again.

Breakfast was a solemn affair, everybody seemed to be lost in his own thoughts after Minerva's arrival and no one dared to voice the questions which were racing through their heads. How could their Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress have been married without anyone ever noticing? True there had always been a certain spark between them but they had put it down to the usual easy banter between two friends who had known each other for a long time. And how could they have had two children?

Half way through her breakfast Minerva suddenly dropped her fork and looked at her ringfinger which now bore a golden ring with at least a dozen diamonds set around a large emerald. The emerald was glowing brightly and Minerva – without excusing herself – got up and quickly left. Poppy, Pomona and Rolanda exchanged confused glances and wordlessly decided that they would go after her. When they reached the entrance hall they saw Minerva disappearing in the direction of her chambers. They found her in her living room, pacing back and forth slowly, her daughter on her arm.

Seeing the looks on her friends' faces Minerva explained: „My ring is charmed to glow whenever something stirs in my rooms when I have left the children asleep unattended. When I went down to breakfast this morning I didn't want to wake them. But when my ring glowed I had to come back here since I didn't want them to wake up and find that both their father and mother were gone. And I shouldn't have come a minute later – Aimée was already sitting in her cot crying and calling for her dada“

The other women nodded with understanding. Minerva motioned for them to sit down on her sofa. She went over to a rug in front of the fireplace putting Aimée down and handing her a teddy bear and a rattle which had been hidden from the little girl's view before. At that Aimée smiled widely, hugging the teddy and muttering to herself incomprehensibly yet happily. Seeing that Aimée would be occupied for a while Minerva returned her attention to her friends who were shifting around on the sofa somewhat uncomfortably.

After what seemed like an eternity Poppy finally broke the silence and asked „How long have you been married Minerva? And why didn't you ever tell us?“ „We've been ...“ Minerva started to answer but she didn't get any further as her son took this exact moment to make his entrance. Looking not quite awake yet he walked up to his mother's side tugging at her hand and eyeing the visitors with suspicion. „Who are they?“ he asked without pretence. „I'm Pomona Sprout, Professor of Herbology, this – pointing at Poppy – is Poppy Pomfrey, the School Nurse, and that – indicating at Rolanda – is Madam Hooch, the Flying Instructor. Together we are friends of your mum“ adding under her breath „or at least that's what we thought we were“. Speaking out loudly again she asked „And whose pleasure do we have?“ „Tait Iagan McGonagall“ he answered proudly. „Well darling“ Minerva said turning her attention to her son, „why don't you run into the bathroom and get dressed? You don't want to hang around in your PJ's all day do you?“ He just nodded and briskly walked back to where he had come from just minutes before.

„His last name is McGonagall?“ Rolanda – who had been unusually silent before – exclaimed incredulously. „But why isn't his last name Dumbledore. I thought you were married and Albus was his father ...“

Minerva flinched. „He is“ she answered slowly looking down at her hands which were clasped tightly in her lap. „But we weren't married when he was born and that's why his last name is McGonagall – just as Aimée's last name is McGonagall“.

„Oh, you don't have to flinch, you don't have to be ashamed“ Poppy threw in, but she was surprised when Minerva looked back at her with something resembling anger rather than shame.

„I am not ashamed – we could have been married before his birth if I had wanted to but it just didn't seem that important to us then. We were going to keep our relationship secret at that point in time anyway and to us it really didn't matter whether we were legally bound or not. We were bound by our hearts and that's all that mattered to us. The reason I'm flinching is that it is still very hard for me to think of our marriage as something of the past.“

Her anger subsided as fast as it had flared up. Her friends were not to blame – the only way to prevent any further misunderstandings was to just tell them the whole story.

„We have been together for the past six years, but we were not married when Tait and Aimée were born. They were not born in the UK for obvious reasons but in the U.S. and their births were registered there under my name only. Albus was not listed on the birth certificates since his name is – was – rather well known in the U.S. as well and we were afraid of some American equivalent of Rita Skeeter snooping around and finding out by chance that Albus Dumbledore had two illegitimate children with his Deputy Headmistress. As I said it didn't matter to us that we were not married. Not until that Umbridge woman shot those stunners at me last year. As you know I was in St. Mungo's for quite a while. Albus had to deal with the kids all by himself during that time. He got on marvellously but the whole event made us realize one thing – if I had been hit by something worse, if I had died, Albus would have had no rights in respect of his own children, because we were neither married nor was he listed as their father. That's why we did in the end get married last summer. We have in the meantime had the children's birth certificates corrected and we were in the process of officially changing their last names to Dumbledore as well, but the applications haven't come through yet.

We never told anybody of our relationship because we were afraid that this knowledge could be fatal in the wrong hands. It could have been used to weaken Albus – it was his one soft spot. And our children would never have been safe from Voldemort. We would have loved to have told you but no one can say in all honesty that he would not spill even his innermost secrets under the influence of the Cruciatus curse. That's why we didn't tell anybody. Not even our relatives.

I walked out into the open with our children yesterday because I couldn't bear the thought that Albus would be remember only as the Headmaster of Hogwarts and Defeator of Grindlewald. Because first and foremost he was two things – the father of my children and the love of my life. And I could not bear to live on without being able to say so openly. Even if this means that Voldemort is now aware of the situation and I will have to go into hiding with the children. I am convinced that Harry will succeed and I will return to Hogwarts.“

Minerva looked at her friends with a new look of determination. Her friends just hugged her again, one after the other, saying that they could not even imagine her sorrow but that they would be by her side and help her in which ever way they could. They had loved their Headmaster, too, albeit in a different way, and they were not going to let his family suffer.

Please read and review!

[EloquentPhoenix]

I've just realised that this can never get happier, it's always going to hurt to read and watch Minerva's pain. But I'm hoping she's going to be okay and be able to carry on without him. I liked the explanation of their relationship and what was going on, and her anger. It was nice to see some of the normal Minerva. I'm really curious as to what else happens, update soon

[muriel2532]

eloquentphoenix said:

I've just realised that this can never get happier, it's always going to hurt to read and watch Minerva's pain. But I'm hoping she's going to be okay and be able to carry on without him. I liked the explanation of their relationship and what was going on, and her anger. It was nice to see some of the normal Minerva. I'm really curious as to what else happens, update soon

Thanks for reviewing yet again! It does seem like a very sad story now, but I'm not quite sure that it will stay that way forever. I don't believe in eternal unhappiness. Even though Minerva will always love Albus it doesn't mean that she cannot find love in somebody else after a while.

My original challenge had two parts - the second being that Albus pleaded with Severus to take care of Minerva and the kids ... now that could been an interesting thread to pursue as well. How and when would Minerva find out that Severus didn't kill Albus in cold blood? Would she believe him? Would she even be able to forgive him at some point? And what would Severus do to redeem himself?

But before I get to that there might be another flashback to happier times coming up! If I ever completely run out of ideas I will write a lemon to be inserted at the end of the second chapter

[PiER]

Oh Merlin, EloquentPhoenix is right. Albus is DEAD! There is no happily ever after!

The angst! - I love it! Well I don't love it, I suffer from this strange hate/love predicament where I relish the angst. However, I do need my healthy dose of fluff every now and again.

I'm sorry to have to say this but what that git Snape did is unforgivable!

Now what is all this codswollop about it being utter tripe!? - It most certainly is not! I happened to thoroughly enjoy reading this story (in the approapriate angsty way) and I look forward to more!

PiER

[muriel2532]

Thanks for reviewing!

pier said:

Oh Merlin, EloquentPhoenix is right. Albus is DEAD! There is no happily ever after!
The angst! - I love it! Well I don't love it, I suffer from this strange hate/love predicament where I relish the angst. However, I do need my healthy dose of fluff every now and again.

You will have to explain the exact meaning of "angst" to me. As a German I have never understood the meaning of some German words when used in the English language. "Angst" in German quite plainly means "fear" - but there must be deeper meaning to it in English!

pier said:

I'm sorry to have to say this but what that git Snape did is unforgivable!

We'll have to agree to disagree on that one - to me Severus will remain innocent until proven guilty, i.e. until the truth is revealed in the Deathly Hallows.

pier said:

Now what is all this codswollop about it being utter tripe!? - It most certainly is not! I happened to thoroughly enjoy reading this story (in the approapriate angsty way) and I look forward to more!

Okay, maybe it isn't utter tripe - but that particular part was rather weepy!

[EloquentPhoenix]

Angst fics are generally, well, sad fics, are they not? I had never heard of the word before I got into fanfiction.

My dictionary definition is

angst

(often ironical) a morbid anxiety, especially about the state of the modern world. Which doesn't really makes sense at all. And it comes from the german word and from the word 'anguish' apparantly. So anguish, pain, suffering. That makes sense for angst fics. The sadness. *Cries*

[StormAngel]

WOW> This is great, tragic though. But great all the same

[muriel2532]

eloquentphoenix said:

Angst fics are generally, well, sad fics, are they not? I had never heard of the word before I got into fanfiction.

My dictionary definition is

angst

(often ironical) a morbid anxiety, especially about the state of the modern world. Which doesn't really makes sense at all. And it comes from the german word and from the word 'anguish' apparantly. So anguish, pain, suffering. That makes sense for angst fics. The sadness. *Cries*

Anguish, pain and suffering indeed make more sense than "fear"! Although I wonder where the distinction between angst fics and drama fics should be drawn then since I would see anguish, pain and suffering as key elements of most dramas ...

[muriel2532]

stormangel said:

WOW> This is great, tragic though. But great all the same

Thanks for reviewing! Tragic - that sums it up pretty neatly. Especially when you look at the fact that Albus and Minerva were both so lonely for such a long time and only had six years "together". And now Minerva is alone again and the heart ache shown in chapter two returns ...

... I will therefore try to write a happy flashback next. To lift everybody's spirits a little!

[muriel2532]

Chapter Four

Minerva consoles her son and thinks back ...

When her friends had left, Minerva went to her son's bedroom since he hadn't come back out again yet. She found him cuddled on his bed, a picture of Albus clutched to his chest, silent tears streaming down his face. She walked over briskly, sitting beside him and pulling him onto her lap. As soon as she'd done so he threw his arms around her neck and began to sob uncontrollably. Soothingly she began to draw small circles on his back while softly stroking his head. "It's okay darling, you've got to let it out". He had cried before when she had told him that his daddy wouldn't be coming home again, but he had put on such a brave performance ever since that she had begun to worry about him. He was bottling up his emotions - very much like his mother - Minerva realized to her dismay. "I m-m-miss him so much" Tait hiccoughed. "And it hurts so much ... Aimée is too small to realize that he will never be coming back but I do and I think I will never be happy without him. I will never be able to talk to him again, he will never carry me to my bed again". "Your daddy has only walked ahead my darling. We will see him again in heaven when our time comes, but till then I believe that your daddy wouldn't want to see you so sad. And it's not true that you will never be able to talk to him again. Come on, I want to show you something". Minerva got up placing her son on her hip and walked into the living room. "Winky" she called and with a soft pop the small house elf appeared. "Please look after Aimée for a moment. I have to show Tait something in my office".

She left her chambers with Tait and walked to her office - the office she had taken over from Albus upon becoming Headmistress. When she entered she found everything still as it had been while Albus had been Headmaster except for a new portrait of Albus which hung opposite the desk. She had seen it immediately when she had confered in the office with the other Heads of Houses on the night Albus had died. Albus looked peaceful in the portrait as he slept, his chest rising and sinking steadily with every breath. Standing before the portrait she softly kissed Tait on the cheek and whispered "You know that the people in the portrait can interact with us, don't you? Once your father wakes up you will be able to talk to him. I don't know how long it takes before a person in a portrait wakes up for the first time but I know for certain that he will wake up. And that's something to look forward to, isn't it now?" Tait looked a lot calmer now. Facing the portrait he addressed his father saying "Please daddy don't leave us waiting too long, we miss you so much. I love you daddy!"

Minerva spent the rest of the day playing with her children, taking solace in the fact that she still had them and the knowledge that she too would be able to at least speak to Albus again once his portrait awoke. Watching Tait show Aimée how to flick her toy wand her thoughts drifted back to happier times again. She thought about the day that she had first found out that she was pregnant.

Albus had left for a lengthy Order mission the day before and she had woken up feeling decidedly sick. She had barely made it into the bathroom before having to throw up violently. She hadn't thought much of it - she had been sure that she had eaten something wrong the evening before. But when the morning sickness continued over the next few days she had begun to wonder. The final straw had been missing her period at the end of the week. She had walked around school all day absentmindedly tossing and turning the idea that she might be pregnant inside her head. In the end she had taken a DIY pregnancy test and had been somewhat shocked to find that she was indeed carrying a child.

Albus and her had only been together for a little over four month and even though they both wanted a family they had agreed to take things slow to allow them to have some time for themselves first. They had taken all necessary precautions, always using either a contraceptive potion or spell. She raked her brain trying to figure out when it could have happened and after doing some maths it hit her - it must have been the night of the staff christmas party. It had been a rather lavish party with lots of merrymaking but Albus and her had had a hard time because they had to hide their new found romance and were not able to act on their hearts' desires to hold each other and share kisses like the other couples present. Seeing Poppy and Alastor who had recently got together and were all over each other for most of the time had been particularly difficult. It had ended with Albus drinking one too many firewhiskeys and her drinking one too many gin tonics. When the party had finally ended and they were safely in Albus' chambers they hadn't been able to hold back any longer and had made love most passionately. Unfortunately they had been so caught up in their passion that they seemed to have forgotten both the potion and the spell.

After the initial shock she had felt nothing but complete and utter bliss. She was so happy and excited and she had to remind herself not to walk around school with the biggest smile on her face. Seeing the otherwise tight lipped and stern Transfiguration professor so happy would certainly have aroused the students' and the teachers' suspicion. She had hardly been able to wait until Albus' return. She had debated with herself how to tell him but she hadn't been able to make her mind up. All rational thinking had been blocked out by mental imagines of holding her first child ...

When Albus had returned he had sensed immediately that something was different about her. He told her later that she had simply seemed to glow. She had stood at the window glancing out over the lake and Albus had entered silently, wrapping his arms around her from behind. He had felt her relax in his embrace immediately. "I have missed you" he had said placing a tender kiss on the side of her neck. Turning around in his arms to face him she had responded "We have missed you, too". He had looked at her questioningly but the answer had been in her eyes - they shone with such happiness and delight. "Do you mean ..." he had started, but he hadn't been able to finish his question as she had flung her arms around his neck and shouted "Yes, we're going to have a baby!" At that he had lifted her of her feet, twirling her around in his arms, before setting her down again to kiss her deeply. When they had finally ended their kiss he had looked at her quizzically asking "When? How?" "The night of the staff christmas party. I think we got a little carried away and were not as cautious as usual." He had just chuckled happily, saying "That was certainly a night to remember", before drawing her into his arms for another passionate kiss.

Minerva's thoughts returned to the present. She looked at Aimée and thought how differently it had been with her. After Tait's birth they had decided that they didn't want to wait long for another child yet they had tried unsuccessfully for nearly two and a half years. It had been difficult at times and it had put a strain on their relationship. Finally they had gone on holiday to their cottage in the country and decided that they wouldn't try anymore. But lifting the pressure of conceiving off their shoulders and making love to each other again solely for the pleasure of it had done wonders - they had welcomed their daughter into the world only a year later.

I promised a happier update - this has only turned out semi-happy, but I couldn't help it. The circumstances are sad and there's no point in denying that.

Again please R&R!

[muriel2532]

My story now has a flashing and revolving sign saying "Hot"! How did this happen?!?

P.S. I've already got an idea for the next chapter. It will center around the following lines:

"It's a miracle we never realized you were together" Rolanda said. "Well, there were some close misses" Minerva replied with a small smile.

[StormAngel]

Lol. This is great. I really enjoyed this, a nice cheer to my dreary day.. lol

[muriel2532]

stormangel said:

Lol. This is great. I really enjoyed this, a nice cheer to my dreary day.. lol

I got a review - finally! I'm glad I cheered you up. I would love to continue this one, but my exams start next Friday and I don't think that I will be able to write anything before the middle of June again. I will be checking this site out however to see if anybody else liked my ramblings.

And I think the next chapter will turn out funny - it will most likely be inspired by my all-time favourite TV show Friends ...

[EloquentPhoenix]

Oh I love firends, and I love this so I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to review I've been away, I still am away I just can't seem to stop dropping by :S Anyway. I cried over Tait, it must just be so heartbreaking. I can't decide if Albus' portrait is a blessing or a curse for them. I don't know how I of all people ended up reading something so sad, but it does have some nice happy moments

As for the difference between angst and drama.... I have no idea really, maybe drama has more action than angst?

Update soon, I love this story.

[muriel2532]

eloquentphoenix said:

Oh I love firends, and I love this so I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. .... I cried over Tait, it must just be so heartbreaking. I can't decide if Albus' portrait is a blessing or a curse for them. ....

Update soon, I love this story.

Thanks again for reviewing! I believe the portrait might be a blessing for the children and to some extent for Minerva as well - at least in the beginning. But I also think that for Minerva the portrait might be a curse because it might stop her from moving on in the future. As I said I don't believe in eternal unhappiness and I would rather see Minerva happy again with someone that can actually hold her and comfort her with more than words. And I do believe that Albus wouldn't want her to waste her life only sustaining herself with memories of what has been ...

[PiER]

OOooh the next chapter sounds good!

But no matter how fluffy this fic gets there will always be a melancholy feeling to it. Albus is dead! So as strange as this sounds I really enjoy reading this. The flashbacks and memories are heartwrenching yet often make me smile.

I too am unsure of the portrait but I agree with your reply. However, ADMM forever! Haha.

PiER

[muriel2532]

pier said:

OOooh the next chapter sounds good!

But no matter how fluffy this fic gets there will always be a melancholy feeling to it. Albus is dead! So as strange as this sounds I really enjoy reading this. The flashbacks and memories are heartwrenching yet often make me smile.

I too am unsure of the portrait but I agree with your reply. However, ADMM forever! Haha.

PiER

Well, yes - I would love to be able to say "ADMM forever". But it's just not meant to be anymore. I really like reading fics which show how Albus and Minerva get together and the happy times they have, but if one accepts the more general storyline provided by the original books, then one can't get around the fact that Albus is dead.

Someone else isn't dead yet however and I look forward to bringing that person into this story in the future. I should perhaps do this before Deathly Hallows comes out though because I might be too depressed afterwards if my hopes for that person turned out to be unfounded...

~~~

Your reviews are very encouraging. I love writing these little episodes. In particular in English - even if it isn't my mother tongue. It is so much easier to express things in English than it would be in German.

To wrap things up, a question to my loyal readers:

Whom - if anyone at all - do you ship Minerva with apart from Albus? Are there any Minerva ships which you absolutely loath?

For me there is only one other Minerva/canon character ship that doesn't make my insides churn and I haven't read any Minerva/OC ships at all. An OC ship might be a viable alternative though.

[muriel2532]

Chapter Five

Minerva had called for a staff meeting for that evening to outline her plans for the future. She knew that now that her intimate relationship with Albus had been revealed to the world at large she and her children wouldn't be safe at Hogwarts until Voldemort was defeated. She had therefore decided to ask for a break – and the ministry had kindly agreed to her request for maternity leave. This would allow her to take time off and take her children away to safety without having to resign from her new position as headmistress. She had in turn promised to stay until she had found a solution to the staff problems that had transpired due to the events of the past few days.

When the remaining professors had assembled in the staff room, Minerva called the meeting to order and adressed her colleagues. She told them in brief words that she intended to take a leave of absence for the time being. The announcement was met with nods of understanding – her colleagues knew that Minerva had made herself a prime target for Voldemort when she had revealed her marriage to Albus at his funeral. When the murmuring which had been caused by her announcement had died down again, Minerva moved on to the topic of new teacher appointments.

„Dear colleagues, as you are very well aware the events of the past few days and my own impending departure leave this school with a severe staff problem. We have three teaching post to fill as well as appointing a new Head of Slytherin House, a temporary Head of Gryffindor House and a new Deputy.

I have the good fortune to have found two suitable successors for the positions of Defence against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration teacher already. I have taken the liberty of inviting the two to this meeting. Please welcome Remus Lupin, who has already taught Defence Against the Dark Arts at this school and has kindly agreed to take up the position again, and Nymphadora Tonks, who - apart from being an excellent auror - is also extremely gifted in the field of Transfiguration.“

After Remus and Tonks had joined them, Minerva continued:

„I hope that there will be no need for any other new staff appointments. Horace, I would be eternally indebted to you if you could continue on as Potions Master for at least the next year. I would also be pleased if you were to take over as Head of Slytherin House. You are the only former Slytherin on staff and if you declined I would have to appoint someone who had no connection with Slytherin as I highly doubt that I would find another Potions Master who just so happens to be Slytherin as well.“

Horace had been expecting this. There was no way he could deny Albus' widow this favor. He agreed immediately without any of the usual convincing necessary. Of course he was also proud to be re-appointed as Head of Slytherin.

„As far as Gryffindor is concerned I would like to ask you, Rolanda, to take over as my replacement until I return. As far as the new Deputy Head is concerned I have been guided in my decision by two factors: one is seniority and the other is long term perspective. As far as seniority is concerned, Horace would have been the obvious choice. But since he only rather unwillingly came back out of retirement - to which I am sure he will most happily return when this is over – he does not offer a long term perspective. Filius would have been next up, but I have spoken to Filius and he has declined the offer. Which in order of seniority leaves Pomona, who has kindly agreed to take up the position of Deputy Headmistress. She will be taking over the reign once I have left and I am sure that she will do splendidly.

If there are no other questions this meeting is officially dismissed. I would be honoured if you would all join me in my private quarters for a welcome drink for Remus and Tonks and a farewell drink for me, too. Hagrid, be kind enough to show Remus and Tonks their new quarters and bring them along to my rooms afterwards.“

The staff all decided to take up Minerva's invitation. They didn't know when they would see their friend and colleague again and they wanted to at least say goodbye properly. And they were also just a bit curious to learn more about her relationship with Albus. Even if she wasn't willing to talk about it they would at least get a glimpse of their life together. They assumed that when Minerva refered to „her private quarters“ she was refering to the quarters she had shared with Albus. And as such there would have to be reminders of their time together.

They were not to be disappointed. Even Poppy, Rolanda and Pomona who had been to their shared chambers earlier that day hadn't taken note of the many framed photographs which were scattered all throughout the reception room. On the mantlepiece above the fireplace there was a collection of black and white pictures showing Albus and Minerva together.

One showed them sitting on the edge of the Lake together. It was obvious that Minerva had been crying but the image that had been captured showed her face changing from shock, to realization to complete radiance within the blink of an eye.

Another one showed Albus twirling Minerva around the room in his arms before engaging her in a most passionate kiss. They seemed to be absolutely lost in each others embrace and soft caresses.

The last one showed them standing at a window looking out at the grounds. Albus had his arms wrapped tightly around Minerva's waist from behind and Minerva was leaning into him comfortably. Albus was whispering into Minerva's ear and there was a smile playing around her otherwise stern face. It looked so relaxed and so peaceful.

Remus was looking at the pictures with sadness in his eyes. He had been as surprised as anyone to find out that Albus and Minerva had carried on a secret relationship for such a long time, but he could see that they had been happy – in the pictures they looked happier than he had ever seen them before. Tonks moved closer to him wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning her head on his shoulder. „These pictures are marvellous. I wonder who took them, seeing that no one knew about their romance“, she pondered.

The two of them hadn't noticed Minerva walking up behind them. „Albus found a way of printing copies of his memories from his pensieve. The first one shows the moment we finally admitted our feelings to each other. I was absolutely downcast on that day and couldn't control my emotions – it was the start of term and I had realized once again that my life was empty and that I would never see a child of mine being sorted. Albus sensed the reason for my unhappiness and decided that he wouldn't hide his feelings for me anymore. He said it in quite a roundabout way though and it took me a second to realize that he had just declare his love for me. That's why you see that rapid change of emotions on my face.“

„The second one – well, that's when I told him that I was pregnant with Tait. It was a total surprise to both of us, but as you can see we recovered from it rather soon ....“

„The last one was taken during my second pregnancy. We had been trying for a long time and we still couldn't quite believe that all it had taken was a little less pressure and a little more love ...“

Tonks had tears in her eyes by now. „Now, Tonks, don't cry. Albus and I had a wonderful time together. We have two wonderful children and they together with my memories will help me through this. The only regret that I have is that we didn't admit our feelings earlier. We could have had so many more years together. I am glad that the two of you have overcome your doubts – the only thing that's worse than discovering that you were secretly in love and your love was returned silently all the time, is knowing that your love is returned but that the other is holding back nevertheless. We should live out our heart's desires and not lock them away. And I am sure that with time your home and your hearts will be filled with just as many happy memories as mine!“

Remus held Tonks a little closer at that. He thanked Minerva for her wise words and excused both himself and Tonks. It had been a long day and they wanted nothing more than to get back to their quarters. They had been surprised earlier when Hagrid had shown them their rooms. Apparently Minerva had decided that there was no point in assigning them separate chambers. And they were thankful for that. In all her grief Minerva was still trying to make things better for others.

After Remus and Tonks had left, only her three girlfriends remained. They were seated around the fireplace, each holding a tumbler filled with gin tonic. „You know Minerva, it's a miracle we never realized you were together“, Rolanda said after a while. Minerva blushed slightly and said with a shy smile „Well, there were some close misses“.

~~~

Sorry. I had to write this scene first, to advance the story to the point where Minerva spills the beans on the near misses. And I also thought that I would give an indication of where the whole story is leading.

P.S: I know that the indication in Half-Blood Prince is that Hagrid would take over as Head of Gryffindor, but that's just not the role I picture him in.

[PiER]

Aww this chapter was beautiful. The pictures were so heartwarming.

And a wift of RLNT never heart anybody

You're right, he died in HBP but still....I can't help but wonder

I suppose that is why I like fanfiction - anything is possible!

PiER

P.S. Those beans sound delicious ;D

[EloquentPhoenix]

Lookign forwards to the next chapter. And I agree, I really don't picture hagrid as the Head fo Gryffindor. I liked the pictures, they were very revealing and a nice way of working them out. It was bittersweet.

'Albus had his arms wrapped tightly around Minerva's waste...' that ought to be 'waist'.

And to answer your question, well, in my heart it will always be ADMM forever and I truly can't picture her with anyone else. I know she'd be alone, but it just doesn't work for me. I adore them as they are. The only other ship I can even think of is probably MMSS. And don't worry anyone I'm not being turned or anything silly like that I just think there is potential there. Kind of, I think he could love her, I don't think she could love anyone like Albus. I've read bits of MMSS, MMRL, MMSB, MMAM, MMHG(?), MMRH and for me I didn't like any aside from MMSS a little bit. I think he is in love with her. So yes. MMSS, not sure how that would work though :S But I wouldn't stop reading the story even if it was a pairing I didn't like because I'm committed to reading this now.

[kissofdeath]

awww. Wow, I can't believe I just noticed this fic. You're doing a really good job with this fic. Balancing a really sad time with some happy memories. I absolutely love it!

I agree with you on not being able to see Hagrid as Head of Gryffindor House. I respect Hagrid as a character but I don't exactly see him as being able to keep the Gryffindors in control.

Please update soon!