Minerva's Naughty Birthday Surprise

[blackmagic]

*Disclaimer: This fic contains the following: mild foul language, discussion of various sexual aids (at this point there are no lemons planned), and innuendo up the yin-yang. Be honest here, if you are too young, or made uncomfortable by this subject matter, then don't read the fic. However, if I've sparked the curiosity of you inner-freak, then by all means proceed.*

Summary: A certain Deputy Headmistress has a birthday and her close friend sets up a trip to the local "adult products" shop in an attempt to resuscitate the guest of honor's long-dead love life with surprising results and plenty of hilarity.

Chapter 1
Planning A Sexual Revolution

Rolanda Hooch sat in the professors' lounge in a state of silent pondering - highly unusual behavior for her. She had a tradition to keep alive and was running out of ideas. Every year for the last forty years, she had organized an outing for her best friend Minerva McGonagall's birthday. Usually this resulted in many funny stories and strange nicknames which could hang around for months. Minerva usually got upset and the day after her birthday passed without the two exchanging a word until that evening when Minerva would go to Rolanda's chambers, demand entry, and, before too long, they were both laughing about the previous evening's hijinks. She was drawn out of her mental deadlock by the entry into the lounge of the majority of the Hogwarts' teaching staff. Pomona Sprout and Fillius Flitwick joined her at her table as did the rather unwelcome Sybil Trilawny. Severus Snape hovered around said table, but did not sit down. "You shouldn't concentrate so hard, Rolanda. Your brain's not used to the sudden burst of activity. still, it is nice to see some sentient activity from you," he hissed.

"Oh sit down, Snape," Rolanda growled. "I need your help. To be completely honest I think I need all of your input on this." The faculty members looked intently at the amber-eyed witch. "I'm trying to plan something for Minerva's birthday."

"Isn't that lovely," Sybil interjected. "I just love parties. What did you have in mind. Let me know and I'll choose the most auspicious day for the event."

"Don't you think that, if I knew what this was going to be, I wouldn't did ideas from the likes of you." The flying instructor snapped. "It's just getting harder to come up with something suitably outrageous that we haven't done yet."

"Quidditch camp?" Pomona suggested as she fixed some tea for herself and Fillius.

"Forty-eighth birthday. Don't you remember?" Rolanda answered.

"The arcade?" Severus asked with an unusual amount of hope in his eyes.

"Fifty-third birthday," Rolanda huff.

"Walter Wubley's Water Park?" Fillius added.

"Two years ago." Rolanda said as she put her head on the table in defeat. There was a long silence and then a squeaky voice was heard.

"Strippers. Yes. Male strippers."

The four professors turned to their colleague from the Divination department. Sybil looked up from her snack of milk and cookies and added, "Well, you don't need a crystal ball to see that Minerva is a little lacking in that department."

"You mean because she's not a male stripper?" Severus said with that certain level of sarcasm only he could provide.

"No," Sybil said. "I mean to say that she hasn't had any sort of romantic or provocative experience with a man in a very long time. It sure would give her prim and proper demeanor a jolt."

"We can't have strippers on the grounds," Rolanda said after another awkward silence, "and having male strippers would leave the men out of the fun. Before you ask, no, I will not get the men female strippers. They aren't getting their jollies on my gallions." Rolanda was firmly set on this, but the suggestion of something of a more "adult" nature had given her an idea. "I think I have it," she said we a devious grin. "Let's schedule a pleasure outing since we can't have a pleasure party on the grounds."

Sybil and Pomona giggled, Fillius blushed and Severus looked lost. "Pleasure party?" he asked. "Do I even want you know what that is?"

Rolanda laughed. "I trip to Alberto Astrosi's Adult Boutique."

"A freak shop?! You want you take Minerva to a freak shop? And that's a 'pleasure outing', huh, buying the most uptight witch in the world porn?" Severus was laughing as he finally joined the group at the table who were also laughing.

"You have to admit, she could certainly use it. Maybe she'd relax?" Pomona said through bouts of tear-inducing laughter. "And, as a bonus, we could pick up some things for ourselves." As she spoke, she gave Fillius a not-so-covert glace. He reddened and gave a chuckle.

"What have I told you all about having fun without me," a deep, gentle, familiar voice was heard saying behind them. The four turned to see The Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore and, on his arm, the lady in question. He turned to her and smiled. "I have to go to the Ministry now, my dear, but I do so enjoy our walks together. I'll be back for dinner." He left the room via the fireplace, taking a quick look back at her as he did so.

"What sort of irritation have you got in store for me this time?" Minerva asked after the Headmaster had gone. "White water rafting? Sky diving?" She hit Rolanda in the head with a spare roll of parchment which she'd been holding.

"That's none of your concern. You'll find out soon enough." Rolanda grinned. Minerva gave an indignant sigh and left the room. Turning back to her partners in crime, Rolanda said "We can't tell Albus either. He's too much of a gentleman to go along with it. I guess it will just have to be a surprise for the both of them." The group all agreed that Albus was to be left in the dark as well.

"I wonder if they'll ever see what a beautiful thing they almost have together?" Pomona said

"I don't know, but maybe this will help them along." Rolanda mused. "Now I have to go. I told Poppy that I'd let her know what the plan was and then I have a few calls to make. I figured I'd call and arrange for private shopping. We don't want to run into any students." With that the flying instructor was off to make her plans.

[dianahawthorne]

Ooh, quite amusing so far! I hope that you update soon!

[Aurinko]

Very amusing. I like the idea of Rolanda planning insane birthdays for Minerva and all the other staff members getting in on it! Maybe'll she'll be the one getting shocked this year if there's any AD/MM revelations. Hope you update again soon!

[blackmagic]

Chapter 2
Secret Pleasures

Minerva was standing in the middle of her sitting room doing the last thing anyone would except the stern Transfiguration professor to be doing - she was singing. She loved classical music and had actually double-majored in music and Transfiguration at university. She had been blessed with velvety mezzo-soprano range though few knew of its existence. She was currently executing, with concert-level precision, Handel's "Pena Tiranna" with full accompaniment, thanks to a set of miniature orchestra instruments which were charmed to play whatever she wished them to on command - a gift from Albus Dumbledore who was himself a connoisseur of fine music. When she'd finished this bit of baroque excellence, a soft applause could be heard. "I was worried I'd miss the recital," Albus said as he approached her. "How I love to hear you sing."

"Oh please, it's hardly anything special. Just a private pleasure of mine," Minerva blushed ever so slightly as she began to put away her music. Albus put his hand over hers to stop her.

"Just once more. Your singing is a 'private pleasure' of mine as well," he said as he handed her her score.

She had a confused look on her face, but gave a small smile and signaled for the music to begin. She stood close to him - only about a foot away - and there seemed to be more feeling in her performance this time around. Albus was always amazed by her skill and the fact that no one knew she had it. He'd heard her once when she was practicing in an unused classroom when she first began teaching and he had to find out where that music was coming from. He'd thought it was a recording and jokingly said to Armando Dippit, the Headmaster at the time, that he would only marry the woman who was singing at that moment. There was absolutely no chance that the voice was a students, it was far to heavy and mature, no, this was a grown woman to be sure and there weren't many of those on the grounds.

Armando had always been after Albus to marry. He had always thought and said that having a love in his life would keep him from isolating himself with academia - something he was prone to doing - and give him some real joy in life. Armando could scarcely contain his happiness when, after looking for a while, found that the source of that heavenly music was not some enchanted record player, but one of the newly-hired teachers. He had praised the shy, dark-haired woman's voice and then waited for Albus to say something. Albus, meanwhile, Was so stunned by this revelation and its affect on his earlier statement that he couldn't speak and having her starring up at him with her stunning green eyes was no help at all. He had muttered something about technique and then ran off as though he were on fire. Truth be told, it had felt like part of him had been, but it was a part of him which he had no desire to discuss in front of anyone. He'd gone directly to his chambers and taken a shower that was noticeably colder than were his usual. Armando had forced Albus to apologize to the woman the next day. Apparently, her feelings had been very hurt after his sudden departure, though, when he went to her office, he'd seen no evidence to that affect. She seemed calm and cordial enough. They'd started talking and found that they had a lot in common and thus began the friendship of Albus and Minerva.

Even now, after so much time, Minerva's voice could still excite Albus if he allowed his mind to wander as she sang, or when she would look up at him with emerald eyes so intense he felt as though they could pierce his soul. She was a strong and very alluring woman. To this day, he could never understand why she remained single, but he would never complain about it. He liked her company and had no desire to share her with anyone.

His reverie ended just as her aria did and he stood and offered her his arm. "Shall I walk you to dinner, my dear?"

"I'd like that, thank you," Minerva replied. "Just let me get my cloak." She retrieved her black velvet cloak from the mahogany coat rack by the door. Albus took it from her and was helping her put it on when something unexpected happen his fingertips brushed the side of her neck close to her collarbone. That in itself meant very little. It was accidental of course. It was her reaction that was the surprise - she gasped. It wasn't a big gasp. It just showed she was startled, but it had an effect on Albus. He felt a twinge in a place which was usually left dormant. With a more cautious hand, he took her arm and they both went to the Great Hall with nearly unnoticeablly flushed cheeks.

Yes, both of them. She too had felt a tingle in a place thought to be inactive.

[harmonydumbledore]

Hello!!! You can't leave me hanging!! This is so good I have to know what ALbus and Minerva do when they find out what Rolanda has planned!!

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

ooooooooooooo

very interesting, great work! keep it up! egar for more here lol

[blackmagic]

Just a note; all of the book titles are real. Thank you Amazon.com for the title assistance. I was going to make some up, but why do that when there are actual books out there.

Chapter 3
Temperatures Rising

After dinner and a quick talk about that afternoon's events at the Ministry with Albus, Minerva was curled up on her sofa reading Macbeth. She was trying to forget how distant he had been when a small note appeared on her coffee table.

Dearest Minerva,
It seems you are now one year colder and older! You need to fire
things up a bit and tomorrow is going to be hot . Get ready for a
warm reception at the Hog's Head followed by a steamy shopping
spree. Meet us in front of the Great Hall at 6pm sharp.

Happy Birthday, You Old Fart!
Rolanda Hooch

"Old fart, indeed," Minerva groaned as she tossed the card back on the table. She wondered why Rolanda insisted on taking her out every year for her birthday. By now she had long ago reached the age where she began to wish birthdays would just stop coming. She had told her friend this fact several years before, but Rolanda had chosen to ignore it. Still, part of her was glad someone remembered. She smiled as she remembered some of her past birthday celebrations. Looking back, they all had been a lot of fun. She soon retired to bed alone and a little anxious to see what her zany friend had in store for her.

Albus had received his invitation as well, but a party was the last thing on his mind. Armando was currently midway through his usual lecture on why Albus should not remain a bachelor. Albus had made the mistake of telling Armando about his little incident with Minerva that evening. The former Headmaster now lived on as an enchanted portrait in the Headmaster's study and was currently tormenting his "roommate".

"Sounds like something a little risque is planned. Are you sure you'll be able to behave properly around the birthday girl?" Armando chuckled.

"Minerva is hardly a 'girl' and I think we'll be fine." Albus was currently faining interest in a jigsaw puzzle in an attempt to ignore his predecessor.

"I'm not so sure, but I will agree with you on one thing. Minerva is not a girl anymore, she's a very accomplished, very attractive woman." With that and his trademark grin, Armando disappeared leaving Albus alone with his thoughts centered on a voice, a pair of dark green eyes, a brilliant mind and, though he'd never noticed it before, a rather nice figure.

Fillius Flitwick and Pomona Spout had both gone to bed. Their invitations would wait until the morning, but Severus Snape was awake to receive his. It landed with an unceremonious plop on top of his copy of The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed. His card read a little different than the others had.

Severus,
We're meeting at 6pm in front of the Great Hall. You better not be a toad and not come. You'd better not mess up the evening, or else, when we do get to the 'freak shop', you'll be looking for replacement for something I will have relieved you of.
DON'T BE A PRICK!
Rolanda

Severus huffed indignantly, but subconsciously he reached for his crotch to make sure everything was where it belonged. He went to bed wondering how on earth he would get through a shopping trip to the freak shop and not come out looking like a gigantic, masturbating pervert. He did not sleep well, plagued with dreams involving Rolanda making good on her threat.

Rolanda was awake as well. She was sitting in bed reading Sex Toys 101: A Playfully Uninhibited Guide. A copy of Toygasms: The Insider's Guide to Sex Toys and Techniques was sitting on her nightstand. Since she was the one organizing this trip, she was going to make sure that she wouldn't dissolve into giggles at the mention or sight of a butt plug. She turned the page and her jaw dropped. She tilted her head slightly. "They can't be serious," she mumbled.

[Desdemona]

teh funny. plz continue!!!

[silvertabby]

oh my gosh! this is amazing! Please continue! please!

[dianahawthorne]

Great chapter - my roommate didn't know why I was laughing so hard. PLEASE update soon!

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

haha great work can't wait for more

[harmonydumbledore]

HEllo!!! Need more here!!! PLease!!!!!

[lilyaurora]

This is great, more please!

[mmadlyinlove]

MORE MORE MORE???

~mmadlyinlove~

[admmityourlove]

Oh my God-this is the best humor fic I've seen in months! Please update soon! I love Rolanda style scheming!

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

i agree n suspence is killing me...update!!!!! lol x

[Desdemona]

mpherphgfogf...... that is me banging my head off the keyboard because i cannot stand the suspence.... Plz update. Look i've commented twice on here and i only like the very best so it must be helluvagood.
(srsly tho my head is getting sorer by the day).......gyttttg edddddxgtvfujhy hhhhhjhjh

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

Jun 5, 2008 16:22:14 GMT -5 Desdemona said:

mpherphgfogf...... that is me banging my head off the keyboard because i cannot stand the suspence.... Plz update. Look i've commented twice on here and i only like the very best so it must be helluvagood.
(srsly tho my head is getting sorer by the day).......gyttttg edddddxgtvfujhy hhhhhjhjh

haha ive comment twice too haha n share ur suspence




ok commented thrice now haha :S

x

[Desdemona]

me too
Buwah-ha-ha-ha-ha *hiccup* ha-ha!
sorry...
NONONOONONNONONNNONNONONONONONON!!! you must up the date ,please.

Looky here missy miss this is about the only excitement i ever get because my life is very sad and i have sod all else to do. Soooooo.... (wait a minute i forgot what i was going to say) em... hurry up or i shall hav no head left.
yljkrghuiosdfh gdkzjghizsfhgjdhz knbglxfhvghf!!!!

remember tho even if i say horrid things
Desde (still) luffs u
xXx

[Uhura]

OMG, more please! more!

[alter.ego.alana]

MORE PLZ.
I LOVE Rolanda's letter to Snape. I almost fell off the couch laughing.

[Sparrabether]

Awesomness! I can't wait for the rest

[sherbetkitty]

Omg, NOH!
You can't leave it there!! I command you to update!!
*poke*
Update!!
*poke*
UPDATE!!



It's hilariously amazing, and very very well written. Can't wait for more!!

[mmadforever]

PLEASE UPDATE! pleasepleaseplease!

[blackmagic]

Sorry for my disappearance. I tend to do that. Anyway, I'm hear now with another chapter. This one's slightly tangy, but not too much.

Chapter 4
Night Magic

It is said that dreams are a window into our subconscious - a window into our most basic selves - the literal or figurative representation of our hopes and fears stripped of all of the extraneous nonsense we put upon ourselves in an effort to be who we think we ought to be. Dreams are us unscripted.

Dreams were flowing through the whole of Hogwarts that evening. A homesick first year dreamed of solitude and abandonment. An ambitious seventh year's sleep was filled with images of popularity and academic success at university. In a small hut on the grounds, a dog named Fang barked with delight at the biscuits and kibble and other food that lay before him.

His owner's thoughts were considerably less pleasing. He had broken his personal rule - he had let himself retire to bed without settling what had been bothering him with his friends. He was paying for it now. He was a child again and he was in the sand box. There were other children there as well, but they weren't children he remembered. They were his current friends. Everyone was playing in the sand. When he looked up from his sand castle, they had all begun to line up in front of little Albus and little Severus. They were picking teams for dodge ball. One by one everyone was chosen by one of the two boys. Even Trilawny, still in diapers, was chosen before him. Then they all circled round him and threw balls at him and laughed. Then the laughing turned to barking as everything went black and then light again. He was in his hut and there was a worried Fang at his side. He got up and began to fix some tea. He would see Albus first thing in the morning and ask why he had been excluded from planning the festivities for Minerva's birthday.

And in his grand, four post, mahogany bed where he lay wrapped in burgundy and gold bedding, Albus too was dreaming. He and Armando were walking down the main northern corridor talking about school business and the like. Just as they past the courtyard, Armando turned to him and said "I do have something more important to share with you." He lead Albus to a door which had never been there before. Albus was in a dimly lit room with hourglasses of various sizes on every available surface. He couldn't see Armando, but he could hear his voice. "These are the sands of time which are associated with your life. Each hourglass represents a different element which is important to you. I want you to see what you're losing, my boy."

"Am I dying?" Albus asked.

"Not completely," Armando responded out of thin air "but some of you is. I may be too late as it is."

Albus noticed two of the hourglasses were running low. One was a deep shade of crimson - romantic love - but the other was completely alien to him. It was a very unusual shade of green. He stayed with that hourglass trying to identify its meaning until he woke up.

Upon waking, Albus got up, pulled on his hunter green, velvet robe, a Christmas gift from Minerva years before, and went for a walk around the castle to reflect on this strange dream. Was there really any time left for a romance in his life? Did he want one? What was the other hourglass representing? "This is rubbish," Albus grumbled after some time. He slowly made his way to the kitchen for some cocoa.

Pomona was also under sleep's spell. She was having lunch with her daughter Leonora and son-in-law Kristopf. It was a well-known fact that Pomona and Filius were due to be grandparents any day now, so the fact that she was seeing her daughter in her dreams was not surprising. The fact that the dream was occurring after the birth was also not a shock. What was unexpected was what she saw as she pulled the blanket back in the carriage - two dusty brown-haired infants looked up at her with innocent curiosity. The proud parents smiled. "Surprise, Mum," Leonora said beaming. The excitement woke Pomona and she was pleased to see that Filius was also awake.

Filius had been dreaming of his soon-to-be-grandfather status as well, but not as fondly as he would've liked. Babies had always made him a little uneasy. He own children had seemed like little miracles to him when they'd been born, but he was not sure he was ready to be 'Granddad'. His son-in-law's height added to the problem - he was just so tall! So here he was in a giant nursery standing at the foot of the crib dodging huge diapers that were flying out of the crib. He saw a fleeting glimpse of his daughter and asked "Why on earth are there so many nappies?"

She didn't stop but called back to him "Because there are two babies, Dad. Hurry up and change them, please." Then he got hit by a diaper and woke up.

He looked blankly at his wife. The word came in unison - "Twins!"

"They don't run in my family," he said "How did you know?"

"Well, I don't know anything; I just dreamed it and I don't have any in my family either." Pomona said, "Nora told me in a dream. We were out to lunch."

Filius was still in shock. "She told me too. Then I got flattened by a giant nappy." There was laughter and a slight pause before he spoke again. "The boy, perhaps?" The couple spent a sleepless night going through record books in the library and thanking every deity in existence that there daughter had not married a full-muggle.

Sybil Trilawny was also dreaming, but even she couldn't make sense of them. In this one she was Cupid, but she had candy instead of arrowheads on her arrows. When she awoke, she would use every bit of her divining knowledge to try to figure out who the headmaster loved. All were inconclusive.

Rolanda had a restless night. Every dream she had involved sex toys. She'd been a pirate with a dildo for a sword and fought other dong-wielding pirates for the treasure of the Cursed Captain Half-Cock. She had been a zoo keeper at a zoo whose cages contained men in bondage. She had even been in the Quidditch Cup trying to catch the golden vibrator. None of the dreams were erotic but all had potential. She was awkwardly intrigued by this. Maybe she needed a little "tool" to get her through her sexual drought.

Severus Snape found himself in room with the women whom he thought of when masturbating. They were all naked and covered in ice cream and chocolate syrup. He started on one with a nice figure and fantastic breasts. As his dining brought him into closer contact with those breasts, she spoke in a frighteningly familiar tone. "Pervert!"He looked up and saw two amber eyes starring back maliciously at him. "Pervert!" She slowly raised a curved blade. "I will take what I've come here for."

"No!" Severus grabbed his wand and knocked the dagger from her hand. She merely laughed.

"Did you think it would be that easy?" she hissed. She held out her hand and he was frozen in place. She put one finger on his forehead and something began to grow from it. At the same time, there was a shrinking feeling between his legs.

"No!" he yelled.

He woke with a start, sweating and with a racing heart. When he realized where he was he quickly put a hand to his forehead and the other to his groin just to make sure everything was alright and in place.

As her birthday began, Minerva was treated to something she hadn't had in a while - a sexy dream. Someone was rubbing her back. She couldn't see his face, but somehow she felt comfortable with him. He unbuttoned her dress and she let it fall to the floor. He was kissing and caressing her and she was enjoying this attention which she'd not received in many years. He held her close and he gently kissed her lips. She missed getting kissed, and held, and romanced. She had forgotten how pleasing a man's touch could be. She moaned softly and opened her eyes to see her lover. She then discovered that she was alone in her bedroom at Hogwarts. There was no beautiful dress on the floor, only a pair of old slippers. The sunlight was beginning to stream through her windows. It shown on her open armoire full of dull-colored, matronly robes and frocks. She couldn't help but cry a little. It had been so nice to be desired and it reminded her of how much she missed it.

Fawkes appeared, whistling a merry tune and startling her tears away. He presented her with a note written in poor, but distinctive handwriting.

My dear Minerva,
I wanted to be sure that I would be the first
to wish you a happy birthday. Your friendship
means a great deal to me and I wanted your first
smile today to be because of me, so I hope Fawkes
did not upstage me too much. I'm looking
forward to tonight.
With Affection,
Albus

A smile did briefly play across her face before she tossed the note onto the unused side of her bed. Forgetting Fawkes was even there, she lay back down and held her pillow close. "Happy Birthday?" she whimpered into the pillow as Fawkes silently made his exit. He had information to share with his wizard. This was very strange behavior for Minerva. He wondered if this was what humans called loneliness?

[dianahawthorne]

Yay! Another chapter, at last! Great job, dear - please update soon!

[silvertabby]

wow! I love it!!!The Fawkes thing...oh....so good.More!

[fallingmoon]

I love it! Update soon, pretty please!

[TheGryffindorSeeker]

ooooo great chapter, please update soon!!!

[blackmagic]

Chapter 5
The Nearly Naked Truth

Concern furrowed Albus' brow as Fawkes squawked and flapped. A drowsy Armando, still in his nightshirt and cap staggered sleepily into his portrait. "What is that crazy parrot going on about?" he said through a yawn.

"He's letting me know that Minerva seemed unhappy when he went to see her this morning," Albus said without lifting his eyes from a book titled Color: A Natural History of the Palette.

"Who does he think he is? Lassie?" Armando grumbled as he slumped into his chair. He would never understand how Albus communicated with the phoenix. It all seemed like nonsense to him, but then he and Albus were at odds about several things. There was the issue with Fawkes' "talking", the familiars policy which Albus thought should be expanded to include ferrets and dogs, and of course the ideal nature of Albus' relationship with his Deputy Headmistress. "Why are you reading that? Thinking of retiring to become a painter?" Armando joked.

Albus sighed deeply. "No. I was just looking for a specific color. It was something I saw in a dream I had last night"

"Oh a dream; how exciting. What was it about." Armando had always enjoyed trying to interpret dreams. Albus had forgotten this and immediately regretted ever mentioning the whole thing, but obliged his former employer and mentor by recounting the dream in detail. Armando stroked his pointed grey beard as he thought. "Well, it all seems pretty straight forward to me. The green must be Minerva." He sat back smiling.

"What!" Albus stammered. He wanted to voice his disagreement, but he couldn't find the words, so he settled for a bewildered "How?"

"Well," Armando assumed his long abandoned 'professor's posture', reminding Albus what an imposing figure Armando had been. "Her eyes are green. Her favorite color is green, and her chair in your office is green. I don't think you've been paying enough attention to that girl, Albus. Maybe, if you showed an interest, you might get to see a different side of her - something a little more personal. It wouldn't kill you, you know, you aren't as you..."

"...Young as I used to be, I know," Albus said closing his book a little harder than was necessary, "but I'm not trying to fall for her Armando. There is no point. We have other priorities. I don't need to see any more of her personality than I already do to know that she's special, but she isn't a romantic interest. Now can we please let this drop?" Silence reigned for a few moments before Albus groaned and stood up. "I have never seen that shade of green before." More silence and then "I should check in on Minerva. I don't want anything to spoil her day." With than, he proceeded to the fireplace ignoring the half suppressed chuckles emanating from a certain portrait.

Minerva had taken a shower in an attempt to rid herself of her melancholy before Albus arrived to walk her to breakfast. If he knew that she was feeling down on this of all days, she knew he wouldn't be able to let it rest. She couldn't bare to have him worry about her. He had better things to do after all. She had lost her grip on her towel as she crossed her bedroom lost in thought. She had forgotten to take her undergarments into the bathroom with her, but it wasn't that big a deal really. Certainly no one was spying on her at this age. She bent over to pick up the towel. Just as she grasped it, she felt a slight breeze from behind and heard something rustle. Quickly she straightened and held the towel to her chest as she turned to see what had caused these abnormalities. There was nothing behind her - just the glowing fireplace.

A red-faced Albus tottered back to his chair and sat there in a state of shock. His long-held habit of putting his face into the fire before calling out to the recipient of the floo. There had been a few incidents in his youth of barging in on some of his brother's and in one instance Nicholas Flammel's romantic encounters - Albus was convinced he'd witnessed the conception of the Flammel's oldest child - but nothing had ever stunned him quite as much as what he'd seen just then. He had appeared in Minerva's fireplace just in time to see her delicate hands lose their hold on her bath towel. He had silently watched as the towel fell to the floor, but he had been completely unprepared to have Minerva bend over naked and right in front of him. He'd left without a word as covertly as possible.

Armando notice the change in Albus' appearance and became concerned. He was flushed and seemed to be sweating. He was starring straight ahead and looked terrified. "Albus, what's happened?" he asked.

"You've gotten your wish, Armando," an agitated Albus said, "I got to see another side of Minerva and I can tell you that what I saw certainly was personal." Albus explained the event as delicately as he could in an attempt to preserve what was left of the dignity that Minerva was unaware she'd lost. The morning silence in the corridor leading to the Headmaster's chambers was broken by Armando's laughter.