New Perfume and Old Friends

[blackmagic]

Minerva stumbles upon a muggle perfume she likes, but she seems oblivious to the effect it has on her best friend.

Mail time in the Great Hall was always a time of excitement, but there was always more than the usual curiosity when professors got mail - especially so close to Valentine's Day. The students couldn't help but wonder if their professors did, in fact, have lives outside their classrooms. Rumors abounded about Madame Hooch and Professor Sprout - even the headmaster was not above suspicion. There were only two professors that were not the subjects of pre-holiday rumors - Severus Snape, and Minerva McGonagall. 'Who would love them?' the students figured. So it was a great shock to all present that cold January afternoon when a black owl with green eyes gently placed a package in front of Professor McGonagall. What was more surprising was that it was of muggle origin.

Minerva didn't seem the type to have an affinity for muggle items, with the possible exception of books, and this package was too small to be a book. Honestly, the great Professor McGonagall reading a paperback - impossible. "It's not a book. It can't be clothes. So what do you think it is?" said Ron through his mouthful of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"It could be clothes... of a certain type anyway. It is close to Valentines Day after all." Hermione grinned as both Harry and Ron simultaneously gagged on their sandwiches. "She's not exactly unattractive. Remember what happened it class. Someone must want to see... more of her. She could have an admirer." Hermione said quietly. There was no need to speak so loudly with the headmaster no more than ten feet from them. Why did they always have to sit in the front?

"Please Hermione, I like this meal too much to lose it remembering a thing like that," Ron groaned.

"Yes. Can we talk about this another time. Ron's right. Let's try to avoid being sick." Harry chimed in.

Albus smiled. He loved hearing the students' conjectures in spite of himself and his Gryffindors were not disappointing him. "What a lovely memory," he mused as he himself began to recall the class in question. Two days before he had sat in on Minerva's class as part of the annual faculty evaluations. The class was generally unruly, but Minerva had it under control - at least until a "wayward spell" found its way to the floor and turned several of the stone tiles into air vents. These vents were visible to all but Professor McGonagall who was reading to the students as she walked around the classroom. Albus couldn't suppress the grin that crept along his face as he predicted what happened next. Just as she stood on one of the transfigured tiles, a gust of air blew her skirts up high enough to show off a bit of her legs. She jumped, blushing and tried to hold her skirts closer to her, but whenever she let her guard down, her skirts seemed to go up. This happened a few more times as she made her way back to her desk, only some of the gusts were much stronger and revealed a lot more than just a bit of leg. At the moment only one person knew who the culprit was was the offender himself - and he wasn't talking.

Albus was removed from his daydream by a light touch on the arm and turned to face the woman who occupied all of his daydreams. "Albus, what on earth are you smiling about?" Minerva asked.

"I was simply enjoying eavesdropping on your students' thoughts on your package today. They seem to think you have a lover sending you lingerie," he said innocently enough.

"I have had enough of this!" she snapped and left without another word. Albus hoped that he hadn't offended her too much.

[osusprinks]

OH what an excellent start! I can't wait to see what happens next. I can only imagine how angry she must have been with the air vents. lol Great job! Can't wait for more!

[crystalpheonixeyes]

O Jezz, I can't wait for a update! That was awesome. Poor Minerva, what she must think of Albus at this point........ not that he really did anything wrong..... =]

[childminerva]

hehe...I love this. I do hope you update soon.

Poor Ron and Harry, thinking Minerva might be receiving lingerie in the mail

[furandfeathers]

hahahahha Albus eavesdropping...

i love it! Please continue

[blackmagic]

Chapter 2

Minerva made her way to her office. She hated being the subject of ridiculous fantasies... a lover sending her lingerie... really now! For anyone to feel the need to send her something of that nature, they must wish to see her in it. That had not been the case for some years - some decades. As for having a lover, well, that was also decades in the past. Still, it was nice to think that her students thought she had some appeal. The truth was pretty harsh. She had been alone for the better part of 37 years, twice engaged, never married, never really loved. She was starting to get depressed as she reached her office. She opened the door and...

"Hey, Min!"

Minerva stared blankly into the amber eyes of the woman who greeted her - the last person she had wished to see.

"Rolanda! Glad to see you're well. Get out!" She said as she made her way to her favorite chair.

"Oh no," the Flying Instructor answered gleefully. "I'm not leaving until I find out what's in the box and who gave it to you. It's not nice to keep secrets, Min."

Minerva sat down in her chair and opened the box. She pulled two red bottles from it - a sheer body spray and a perfume both the same scent. "I bought them for myself. Happy now?" she grumbled. Rolanda burst out laughing.

"Very Sexy! Oh Min, come on. Every fifteen year old in this school has a Victoria's Secret perfume of some sort. Trying to reclaim your youth?" Rolanda sputtered before dissolving into more shrieks of laughter.

Minerva was growing more and more indignant as the seconds ticked by. "Yes, I know it's not Chanel or Cartier, but I like it. One of the interns at the International Association of Wizarding Professors' conference in New York last August recommended it. I liked it so I bought a small bottle. I thought it may be nice to wear it more often, so I bought myself more. I made my purchase after the holidays so there would be no shipping delay. I like instance gratification, OK?" she said pouting. Minerva McGonagall rarely pouted.

"How old was this intern? 17?" Rolanda grinned.

"26," came the growled reply. Minerva McGonagall was not one to growl.

"Hmmm, instant gratification, huh? Is that what Albus gives you when you wear that?" Rolanda's grin widened.


That was the final straw.


Minerva leaped from her seat. "That is absurd! The Headmaster and I are friends and colleagues - nothing more! How dare you make such accusations, Rolanda Hooch!" Her face was flushed with anger and, secretly, with pain as well.

"How dare you lie to yourself for forty years, Minerva McGonagall!" Rolanda mocked. "I came by to drop off these notes I accio-ed in class today. They seem to pertain to Monday's little prank with your skirts. I'll let myself out, thanks."

"Yes. Please go." Minerva snapped coldly.

"Enjoy your chess game with Albus tonight," Rolanda said sweetly. As she reached the door she couldn't help adding...

"You Sexy Thing."

Rolanda made it out the door, but couldn't close it in time to stop the large tartan pillow the was flying after her. It did not make it to it's chosen target and, unfortunately, struck an innocent bystander on his way to Professor McGonagall's office.

"Now Madame Hooch, I hope you have not upset our Deputy Headmistress," a calm voice said as its owner plucked the pillow from his face and straightened his glasses.

"No more than usual, Headmaster," Rolanda said with a smile. They both knew that wasn't saying much for the Flying Instructor's innocence at all. "I just wanted to know what was in the package, that's all. Isn't that why you're here?"

Actually he hadn't quite gotten to make up his reason for being there yet thanks to the pillow, so that was as good a reason as any. "Yes," he answered.

"That may be a bit of a touchy subject at the moment, best to stick to helping her find her student trickster for now. I could tell you, if you'd like. You'd find out sooner or later." Rolanda said, unable to keep her mischief-making in check. "It's just a few little things from Victoria's Secret and the color really surprised me. I've never known Min to like anything red." And with that Rolanda turned and walked away which worked out very well for the Headmaster because he was still standing there, mouth open, thanking the gods that it was he and not Madame Hooch who could see into people's minds. If she could, his current train of thought would have made even her blush.

[childminerva]

"Hmmm, instant gratification, huh? Is that what Albus gives you when you wear that?"

hahahahaha...*wipes away tears of joy*
That was a brilliant line-kudos to Rolanda.
Also rather brilliant was her method of misleading Albus

I can't wait to see what happens in chapter three!

[osusprinks]

So very many amazing lines! I loved: "Rolanda! Glad to see you're well. Get out!" I can totally see Min saying that. lol

"If she could, his current train of thought would have made even her blush." I hope we get to see his train of thought, blushes or not!

Excellent chapter. I love that you got Min flustered with Rolanda and now you're going to throw Albus at her! I can't wait to see what is next!

[Gemmie Lou]

need more this has been amazing so far xxx

[blackmagic]

Chapter 3

"For the last time, Hermione, please drop the subject," Ron whined as the trio exited their Divination class. "The only thing worse than a class with Trelawney is a class with Trelawney where the only thing I can think about is what McGonagall wears under her clothes. It's bloody disgusting! I half expected a pair of knickers to appear in the tea leaves!"

Harry chuckled, but Hermione remained serious as she spoke. "Have you ever thought how this may hurt the Headmaster? Dumbledore loves McGonagall."

"What?!" The two boys looked more stunned than ever. Ron was first to find he voice and was as eloquent as ever. "Bloody hell!"

"In love with McGonagall? How do you know? I mean I know they're close friends and all, but so are me and Ron and we're not in love with each other" observed Harry.

"Sorry, Mate. You're just not my type." Ron added. The two laughed, but Hermione only grew more impatient.

"You two are hopeless. Do you need everything spelled out? Look at the way they look at each other. How they always walk arm and arm. Fill each other's plates at dinner. He pulls her chair out for her. He opens doors for her," As Hermione continued, she could see their vacant expressions lessening, but not dissipating entirely. This was her last shot. "OK, do you remember last spring when Fred and George transfigured the cushion of McGonagall's chair in the Great Hall into that slime stuff and she sat in it at dinner?"

The boys smiled. "Yeah. The look on her face was priceless," Ron said.

"You're heartless, Ronald Weasley. Anyway..." Hermione began, but Ron stopped her.

"Wait. How am I heartless?" he asked.

"Because her expression wasn't 'priceless', Ron. She was shocked, and embarrassed, and very uncomfortable. Now, as I was saying, any other prank Fred and George ever caused only got them one detention - if they were punished by Dumbledore at all. When they saw Snape buy a new cloak and they put a static charm on it before the anti-prank wards were put on it at Hogwarts they got exactly 67 minutes of detention - one for every shock Snape got after touching a doorknob or any other metal object. Madame Hooch called him Einstein for a week afterward, but all they got was a 67 minute detention. Comparatively, their prank on McGonagall was harmless, but they spent the next two weeks in detention for it. Don't you find it odd that the only time Dumbledore becomes a disciplinarian is when McGonagall is the target of the prank?" Hermione smiled as she saw the proverbial light bulb turn on.

"Maybe we ought to try and get them together. The way you make it sound they've been dancing around each other for years," Harry said. Stopping to think about it, he added "They might be a really lovely couple."

Ron groaned. "I don't need to think about McGonagall as a part of any couple," he said as they rounded the corner into the main hallway. "Your gonna get me thinking about her knickers again."

"Whose knickers are you referring to?" a gentle voice asked.

"McGonagall's" Ron admitted irritatedly. Then he recognized the voice and knew that yes, against all odds, his day had gotten worse.

"Now what would make a gentleman such as yourself think about his transfiguration professor's undergarments?" The trio froze.

Ron turn and said with a shrug "We're going to get detention now, right?"

Albus Dumbledore smiled, holding a green tartan pillow.

[childminerva]

This chapter made me laugh aloud so many times that I'm sure my family thought I was choking on my pasta...brillant workon this chapter.

I love this line: "Then he recognized the voice and Knew that yes, against all odds, his day had gotten worse."

LMAO

anyway, great work. I hope you are able to update this soon. One question...are you posting this on fanfiction.net?

[Trulyamused]

Great story. You just have to love Ron. He never knows when to keep his mouth shut.

Looking forward to more.

Truly

[osusprinks]

I loved this chapter! They keep getting better and better. I just can't wait to see what happens next. My favorite line had to be the same as childminerva's! So funny!

[blackmagic]

Chapter 4

Albus Dumbledore had found himself unable to speak to Minerva after his encounter with Madame Hooch. It was not because he found the idea of her receiving an intimate gift, presumably from someone with whom she was involved, unsettling or because she had not mentioned her current romance to him earlier. No. It was because he had broken a very serious personal rule of his. He had envisioned her in various states of undress less than fifteen minutes before he planned to see her. This made it impossible for him to proceed in and have a reasonably sane conversation with her. The reason for this was obvious - his wand-less magic occasionally got away from him. He knew Minerva would never speak to him again if her robes suddenly vanished in the middle of a meeting. He had decided to take a walk around the castle until he could face Minerva and not risk levitating her skirts when she turned her back or accio-ing a few buttons off her robes. While on his walk he had run into Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Ron was still standing before him looking awfully guilty. He had just admitted that he had been curious about Minerva's intimate apparel as well. "We're going to get detention now, right." the young Weasley asked.

"That depends on why you are occupying your thoughts with the topic of your professor's undergarments," Albus answered smiling. "After all, we still aren't sure who transfigured her classroom floor. Whoever it was must have had the same sort of thing on his mind."

"Disgusting, isn't it," Ron grumbled. Hermione silenced him with a quick elbow to the ribs. Harry got an idea.

"Yes, well, I wanted to ask you how it was even possible to play that prank. Isn't the entire castle prank-proof?" Harry asked.

"If that were the case, Fred and George Weasley would have died of boredom. Now remember, I'm telling you this in hopes that you won't use this information in an inappropriate manner." Dumbledore smiled at the three and continued. "Certain things obviously have wards on them to protect the professors from pranks - clothing, quills, parchment, and ink pots come to mind immediately. Certain pieces of furniture are also protected from spells, but if someone were to place something on the piece, then that's a different story. Other things are not warded to make life a little easier for the professors. Cleaning up a mess is so much easier with a ward free floor. However, it takes a very strong spell to do anything to them, so who ever transfigured those tiles should be in a much higher level class than the one you are in. Does this answer your question, Mr. Potter?"

"yes, Professor. Thank you." Harry said as the three friends turned to leave. Then he noticed the pillow in the Headmaster's hand. "What's that, Professor?"

Albus quickly hid the pillow behind him. "Just something I need to return to Professor McGonagall," he said and headed down the hall leaving three students with smiles on their faces and ideas in their heads.

"Bloody hell," said Ron "What's he doing with her pillow?" Silenced reigned as he thought all of this out. Then he turned a slightly greener hue. "With the thought I just got, I would've been happier just thinking about her knickers." The three left the main hall to plot in private.

[DaBao]

Update. Soon.
This is a really good story!!! You must update as soon as you can!

[childminerva]

"He had envisioned her in various states of undress less than fifteen minutes before he planned to see her."

"With the thought I just got, I would've been happier just thinking about her knickers."

Those lines were just two of the ones that made me giggle insanely.

Great work...I hope you can update soon!

[kankulex]

Muahahahaha! Just wonderful to read your updates after a long and definitely boring day! Looking forward to reading more!

[morethanacrush]

omg I hate you right now.
Your story just made me laugh so hard my belly button ring got caugh on my belt.
lmao.
I love the whole Ron thing going on. funny as hell.
Update!
Love
Cody*

[osusprinks]

"The reason for this was obvious - his wand-less magic occasionally got away from him."
"However, it takes a very strong spell to do anything to them, so who ever transfigured those tiles should be in a much higher level class than the one you are in."

It wasn't Albus, was it? And if it was, is she going to figure it out? Because I'm not such a fan of stories that in the end one of my favorite characters is killed by another. lol

I LOVE THIS STORY!!!

The fact that he can't see her for fear he will banish her clothes, or at least a few buttons... That was just amazing. And I loved the conversation with the trio!

Thanks for sharing! I know you just posted today, but I hope you can update soon!

[Drake]

This is amazing. Totally and completely amazing.

[Trulyamused]

Love it. Love it. Poor Ron. Poor Albus.

More soon??

Truly

[crystalpheonixeyes]

O jezz, I can't wait untill you update! I love this whole fic! It's awesome!

[blackmagic]

Chapter 5

Minerva sat alone in her office, which was more of a study really, pondering her friend's statements. Was she trying to recapture lost youth? Was she doing this all to get some sort of acknowledgment from Albus? She had thought this was simply trying to come off as less of a prudish old spinster, not an attempt to elicit a declaration of love from her employer. That was out of the question, of course. She had come to terms with that years - decades - ago. Damn that Rolanda for getting her thinking about just how lonely she was. She pulled the two bottles from their box and turned them over in her hands. Looking at the name on the bottle she shook her head. "Do I honestly expect him to see me as 'Very Sexy'?" she sighed. She then determined that sitting around getting herself sad for nothing served no useful purpose whatsoever. She placed the two bottles back in the box, put the box on the floor by her chair, and went to her private quarters where she prepared a hot bath to soothe her chilly body and aching heart.

The bath did wonders for her spirits. She wrapped towel around herself and cast her usual drying charms on herself. She decided that, subconscious attempt at romance or not, she would wear her new perfume to dinner. Why not? She had bought for that purpose after all. She remembered she had left them in her office and quickly went to retrieve them. She bent down to get them out of the box when the door opened behind her.

Albus stood outside Minerva's office once more. He had the feeling that the students he'd spoken to may have gotten the wrong idea about the pillow. He had to return it before anyone else had those same thoughts that were flying about the heads of those three students. He would have a talk with them later. He had knocked quietly on Minerva's door. No answer. That was just fine by him. He was beginning to think that Ron's thought pattern may be contagious. First it started with that gust of wind in her classroom showing her legs. Then then skirts moved higher - which had been the case with some of the other sudden breezes. Her robe's top unbuttoned. Then the neckline lowered. Then... Robes? What robes? "Ahhh!" he grumbled aloud. "Think academically. She wears stern, teacher's robes and carries tons of books and spends her days writing on a chalkboard." He muttered that like a mantra as his second and third knocks went unanswered.

"Good," he thought. "I can just put the pillow back and leave before my mental image drops her chalk. I'm not sure how I would imagine Minerva bending over and not have it be sexual in nature. Maybe a cold shower before dinner is a good idea." He muttered the password and then quietly opened the door. He was unsure if the sight before him was a blessing or a curse. Minerva was standing in front of him bending over to pick something up wearing nothing but a towel which just covered her bottom. "Looks like I don't have to use my imagination," he thought as the pillow hit the floor.

As Albus continued to step silently into the room, he felt a cold wind pass his arm. Unusually cold. Unnaturally cold. a transparent icy blue specter appeared behind Minerva as she fussed with whatever she was getting from a box beside her favorite chair. He had a painfully mischievous look in his eye.

[childminerva]

uh oh! This should be interesting!

*rubs hands together and gives an evil chuckle*

[Trulyamused]

No, not Peeves. Albus stop him. Or you may not live through this.

Great stuff. More please.

Truly

[osusprinks]

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

This must end well! Just when I had such hopes!

[DaBao]

What a cruel place to stop at... Update soon!
Poor Minervra, I wonder what's going to happen?

[blackmagic]

Chapter 6

Peeves loved Minerva, loved to torment her that is. She was so strict and so proper that she was his ideal victim. It was common knowledge that he was the only one at Hogwarts ever to make Minerva cry, according to student rumors. That was not true of course, she was very sensitive, but she couldn't have the whole student body knowing that, so the rumor stayed in place. Peeves favorite thing to do to her was try to make her uncomfortable about her body, particularly when Albus was around. It seemed to be one of the subjects that got her worked up the fastest, and therefore was his favorite. This was a golden opportunity for the poltergeist. She was here, in an awkward position with not even her clothes for defense. "What's she wearing perfume for?" he thought as he watched her spray a tiny amount on her neck and her chest.

It would been perfect except for Albus. Hmm... the possible reason for her unusual act perhaps? This incident had given him plenty to work from later. Just as his icy fingers neared her bare thighs, Albus' voice broke the silence. "Minerva, Peeves is behind you." Minerva jumped up, but it was still to late.

She felt two ice cold hands grab her bottom from beneath the towel resulting in it being lefted slightly. She screamed and put both hands over her bottom, unconsciously letting go of her towel which began to slip off of her. Tears rolled down her face as he began to tease her; something about her being old and alone again on Valentine's Day. Then she realized something; the towel hadn't hit the floor. Furthermore, there was someone holding her. The towel was around her and had slipped to her waist. "Albus?" she asked before laying her head against his chest and crying.

The look on Albus' face told Peeves to get out while he still could."We will discuss this later, Peeves," he said coldly. He then turned his attention to the blushing woman crying in his arms.

"Yes, my dear, it's me," he whispered softly to her. He tightened his hold on her and they stood together silently while she composed herself. Albus took the opportunity to play with her long black hair. "Let's get you ready for dinner." He accio-ed her glasses from her bedroom and used his wand-less magic to put her hair up in its usual bun.

"Yes, that's a good idea," she said her strength returned as she began to pull the towel that was between them back in place. "No peeking," she said firmly. He smiled and closed his eyes... well... one eye.

"Albus Dumbledore I told you not to look!" a blushing, flustered, and annoyed Minerva said looking into Albus' twinkling eyes.

"I couldn't help myself," he said and stepped away from her. She shrieked and then realized she was fully dressed.

"I don't have robes like these. They're far to extravagant for me," she said as she admired the finely woven, sapphire blue geometric pattern on the dark violet outer robe. The inner robe was black and fitted to hug her body without impeding movement. He had also created a less matronly style shoe for her. "I do like them though," she said quietly.

"Consider them a gift," he said offering her his arm. She started to take it and then stopped. She ran her hand across her shoulder and then her hip. Albus was grinning like a schoolboy as a rosy hue began to show on her cheeks.

"I seems as though you've given me a few more things than I had thought." She was still blushing and found she couldn't look at him.

"Just a little something I thought would suit you." Albus made it sound as if he had given her nothing more personal than a new quill. Minerva still would not meet he gaze, but took his arm as they left the office on their way to dinner. It seem to her that there was less of her covered by these "gifts" than she had first suspected. Even though the robes were relatively conservatively cut, she felt exposed due to what lay under them.

She stopped and pulled him to face her at the end of the corridor, before it met the main hallway. "What are you up to, Albus Dumbledore?" she asked firmly.

His eyes twinkled and he smiled slyly. "Making sure my Deputy Headmistress doesn't go to dinner in a towel," He had to laugh at the frustration on her face as they join the students and staff in the main hallway.

[childminerva]

The extra "gift" was a nice touch

But seriously, it was quite wonderful the way he protected her as the towel slipped and quite funny the way he peeked! ;D

Great chapter, I hope you can update soon!

[Aeronnen]

Oh, wow, excellent story!! And Peeves was an evil twist,lol. Well done!!